Chapter 4:
A week after Neji left, Hinata woke up early feeling very nervous but determined. Today she has a purpose, a mission, it was now or never. She knew it was wrong but she felt that she couldn't go on living without telling him. She refused to just wonder her life away. Even if he rejected her, which she feared even more than her father, she wouldn't get married before she told him how she felt.
She wore her usual training outfit so no on would suspect where she was going or what she was doing. She grabbed an apple on her way out, too nervous to be able to eat anything else. Naruto had just arrived from a mission yesterday, though it was common knowledge that he would probably be at the training grounds, never taking a day of rest unless he was forced. Her only hope was to catch him before he started training, she would hate to interrupt him.
Hinata soon arrived at the training grounds he frequently used only to find it still empty. She didn't have to wait long however, moments later a tall blond came within her line of vision. When he spotted her, a giant smile spread across his handsome face, making her heart pound.
"Oi Hinata-chan!" He called out to her.
"Good morning Naruto-kun." She replied softly, unable to stop her face from heating up to a bright blush. "I was wondering if I could have a word with you before you started training?"
"Sure! What's up? Oh before I forget, congrats on your engagement. I just heard about it yesterday." He smiled, not realizing how quickly hers had turned to a frown.
"Neji is a bit stoic," Naruto said aloud, more to himself than to her "but he's a good guy. You must be really happy Hinata-chan." He smiled at her but her head was down and her arms were wrapped around her body. His eyes widened when she started to tremble, wondering what he said.
"Hinata-chan, what's wrong?" Naruto asked with concern. She couldn't take it anymore, her mixed and confused feelings, her guilt for being here, her desire to tell Naruto how she felt. She could only hold in so many emotions at once.
"No! I'm not happy! I don't love him, I love you!" She yelled, launching herself into his unsuspecting arms, holding him tightly. "Can't you see Naruto-kun? I love you, I've always loved you."
Shocked was an understatement to how he felt. Though he was much smarter and wiser than when he was a child, he was finding that he was completely obvious in other areas of life. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her tightly for several minutes. Slowly letting her go he lifted his hand and gently caressed her cheek, softly smiling at her.
"Thank you Hinata-chan. Thank you so much for your feelings. You don't know how much it means to me." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Looking up at him, her eyes were bright and full of hope before she saw that his were reflecting sympathy.
"You will always be one of my best friends." Wait, this isn't what she wanted to hear. "In fact I love you too...but as dear friend, almost like a sister."
Shaking her head she slowly backed away from him, her heart breaking every second in his presence.
"Hinata-chan I'm sorry. I wish I could love you the way you want me to, but..." He could see the tears spilling down her cheeks. He wished he didn't have to hurt her, he sincerely did wish that he could reciprocate her feelings, just to make her happy. "But just because I don't love you that way, doesn't mean I don't love you."
She unsuccessfully tried to wipe away her tears, giving him a wobbly smile for trying to comfort her as he rejected her. She was trying to be brave, trying to be strong.
"Th-thank you Naruto-kun." She whispered breathlessly, before walking away stiffly, trying with all her might not to run or collapse. Instead of walking back through the village, she headed towards the forest. She needed to be alone for a while.
oOoOo
Neji settled down for the night, exhausted. It had been three weeks since he left Konaha and his tired mind wandered again towards Hinata. He hoped that she was alright and wondered what she was doing. His heart refused to believe that she would take the opportunity of his absence to be with Naruto. She was good girl and loyal, she was engaged to him, she wouldn't betray him.
His mind however had a different opinion, remembering that it wasn't him that she loved or even wanted. It was Naruto, always Naruto. Neji buried his face in his hands, full of despair and mixed emotions. He didn't want Naruto to break her heart by rejecting her, but he also didn't want Naruto to respond to her feelings either. Neji wanted to be the one that brought her happiness and joy.
He remembered the times he felt animosity towards her, when he had convinced himself that he hated her. He was such a fool, it was never Hinata, never her. She just represented what he hated, why couldn't he figure that out for himself? And when she tried to tell him, to show him, he tried to kill her. He sighed heavily, knowing that their family indirectly encouraged his hostility, always hearing the others talk about how weak she was in comparison to him. But they were wrong, he was the weak one, she had more strength than anymore he knew. Her kindness and compassion were so strong, even when he tried to kill her she still cared for him. Never did she hate him, or held a grudge against him. He could only hope that one day she would love him not just as a cousin or as a friend, but as a man.
Suddenly he felt another presence in the forest, and slowly he reached for his mask, knowing that the time for wishful thinking was over.
oOoOo
Hinata sat alone at a restaurant booth, sipping tea as she waited for the girls to arrive. Her heart was heavy, it was only a week ago that her world completely fell apart with her dreams crushed. She wondered how long the pain would last. How could she face Neji? They were going to be starting a new chapter of their lives together soon, though neither of them chose this path. Will Neji be getting a heartbroken wife who pined for another? He deserved so much better.
"Sorry we're late Hinata-chan." Sakura said, bringing her out of her thoughts.
"Yeah, forehead-girl here got stuck at work when I came to pick her up." Ino chuckled, sitting down next to Hinata.
"Shut up pig! You could have gone head without me, it's not like we've never been here before!" Sakura shot back, almost throwing her purse. Ino blatantly ignored her as she turned to Hinata.
"So how's it going? We haven't seen you since before your engagement." Ino ask with an excited smile. Hinata stared down at her cup as she replied.
"Last week I told Naruto-kun how I felt about him." Awkward silence filled the air among them, Sakura and Ino looked at each other warily. They both wanted to support Hinata for finally telling Naruto her feelings but that was before she was engaged to someone else.
"Uh, that's...uh..." Sakura was at a loss for words.
"That's great Hinata-chan." Ino said softly.
"He doesn't love me back...at least, not like how I love him." Hinata stated quietly. Both women, again, didn't know what to say to her. They were sad for her of course, but if Naruto did reciprocate her feelings then things would have gotten really complicated. Would she call off the engagement? Would she still have to go through with it, with Naruto as a side lover? Would he even accept that? What would Neji do? They didn't want to even imagine all the terrible 'what ifs'. But how could you support your friends without hurting them? Feelings and emotions made things so delicate and complicated.
"I...I need your help." Hinata continued softly, trying to keep her tears at bay, reminding herself that she could do this...she needed to do this. Sakura reached across the table and took her hand, squeezing it gently.
"What can we help you with?" she asked softly.
"Naruto-kun will probably never love me back. So...I want to...well...how do you move on from loving someone? How are you able to transfer your love to someone else? Both of you are no longer in love with Sasuke-san." Hinata asked almost desperately.
Both women smiled in understanding. They had both been so crazy over Sasuke when they were children and and teenagers, but after everything that had happened, and after years of unrequited feelings they had come to the same decision. If they could not be with the one they loved the most, then they will be with the ones who loved them the most. And over time, after knowing whats it's like to be truly cherished, they had learned to and fallen in love with their respective partners.
"So...are you saying you want to learn to love Neji?" Sakura asked, making sure she understood Hinata's intentions.
"Well...though I know it's not required, I care very much for Neji-niisan. But he deserves a wife who, not just cares for him, but loves him as well." Hinata said, feeling guilty that she didn't.
"Well you know Hinata-chan, there are no real set of guidelines, everyone does it a little differently. And it does take time." Ino stated.
"Ino is right. What will make it more difficult for you though, is that Neji isn't here right now. He's away on a mission isn't he? Whereas Ino and I, our boyfriends weren't away for long periods of time back then. But since he's not here, maybe you can speak with Tenten and Lee?" Sakura advised, Hinata nodded her head.
"Yeah, and try to think more about Neji. Try to remember good memories, happy memories that would involve him." Ino suggested.
"Hmm speak with Tenten-san and Lee-san and think of him more. Okay!" Hinata said with determination. "Thank you so much Sakura-chan, Ino-chan."
"And..." Ino smirked, "since he is gone, you can go through all his things in his room and not get caught." Ino said with a wink, making Hinata blush and Sakura chuckle.
oOoOo
Neji collapsed to the ground, looking at his defeated and dead foe and feeling the deep wound in his stomach. A parting 'gift' from his enemy. There was blood everywhere on him, from other wounds he had received as well. He struggled to get back up, Hinata's name a mantra in his mind to try to inspire him. But when he finally got to his feet a thought flashed through him, if he stopped fighting and accepted death, Hinata would be free to be with Naruto...she would be happy.
He fell to his hands and knees, anguish tearing at his heart. But before he could fully collapse again he remembered the promise he made to his father...and the first time he actually protected her.
It was only two years since he had fought and almost killed Hinata in their first Chuunin exams. Ever since then, he had tried his hardest to bridge the huge gap he created between them. They were still a bit awkward around each other, so many times when they really didn't know what to say to each other. But there were times when words were not needed, they just enjoyed knowing they weren't alone, content in just the company and presence.
It was the first time that Hinata was added to his team on a mission. They didn't know very much about their enemy except that they moved so fast they seemed invisible, making it difficult to defeat them. But with the Byakugan, it would be easier to spot them, so Neji was teamed with Tenten and Hinata with Lee.
They were in the middle of a fight, each pair concentrating solely on their own enemy. Neji and Tenten weren't having a very difficult time now that they had injured them, slowing them down. So Neji allowed himself to take a quick look at the other half of his team. Hinata and Lee were having a much more challenging time, she was struggling to keep up and Lee, though he wanted to help, couldn't see them and was unable to completely defend against them. Neji suddenly saw Hinata whip her head back to shout at Lee.
"Lee-san! Look out!" She screamed. Lee was suddenly bombarded with a series of punches and kicks, knocking him away from Hinata. But when she took the time to try and warn Lee she had left her guard down. Neji watched in horror as Hinata's small frame collided with a large tree and several kunai embedded in her.
Neji quickly analyzed the situation, Tenten could easily finish off their opponents, he could leave her and trust that she'll be fine. But he could not lose Hinata! Just as her opponent was about to mortally wound her, Neji sprinted over to her and slammed his hand into the enemy's shoulder, cutting off a chakura point. The killer's arm went limp, surprise crossing his face but before he could compose himself Neji quickly finished what he started.
"Hakkesho Kaiten!" He yelled, the enemy nin collapsed. Neji looked back and saw Tenten had finished destroying her opponents and Lee was starting to limp back to their group. Neji bent down and gently took out all the weapons from Hinata's body, wrapping them quickly in bandages. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, a small tired smile graced her lips.
"N-Neji-niisan." She whispered before fainting again. Neji gathered her in his arms and picked her up.
"Lee, can you make it back to Konaha alright?" Neji asked without turning around.
"Yeah, I'll be okay." Lee replied.
"Good. Tenten help him bandage his wounds and then the two of you get that man back to the village, we need to interrogate him. I'll go on ahead, Hinata-sama needs to get to the hospital." With that, Neji took off. He raced through the trees, holding her close to him. He silently pleaded with her to hold on, he couldn't lose her. Not when he was finally making things alright between them, not when they were finally becoming friends.
Neji struggled to get back onto his feet again. He couldn't give up, he won't allow himself to succumb to his injuries, when he dies it'll be when he's protecting Hinata. That thought empowered him, drove him to his feet and start walking to find a hospital. He didn't know how long he walked or where he was walking to but he didn't allow himself to think of the pain. If he did, he would tell himself that it was all worth it, worth seeing her smiling face again. Soon he came upon a small cottage, he was about to move on but his world was starting to become black. He struggled to stay conscious, his feet taking him towards the front door but he fainted just before he could he reach it.