PSManiac: Chapter three everyone! Thanks for all of the reviews I have received! If I didn't create it, then I don't own it. Enjoy!
Chapter Three: Men in Orange
"So why were you a dishwasher?" Coco asked as the five of them walked to Billy Bob's rusty old blue jeep.
"Well, how else am I supposed to pay them there bills?" Billy Bob asked.
They walked up to the jeep.
"I call shotgun!" Aku Aku called as he leapt into the passenger seat.
Crash, Coco, and Crunch sat in the back as Billy Bob seated himself in the driver's seat. Petunia popped up in the trunk and licked Coco.
"Oh, hey Petunia," Coco greeted, already getting bad memories.
Billy Bob tried to get the car to start, but he was failing.
"C' mon, start already!" he exclaimed.
He slammed his fist on the dashboard, and the car sputtered to life.
"Yes!" Billy Bob cheered.
Suddenly, a Delta Interdroid appeared in front of the jeep and roared.
"Drive away!" Crunch yelled.
Billy Bob stomped the accelerator and ran over the poor robot.
"Ouch," Coco said, "That's got to hurt!"
Several more Delta Interdroids appeared and began attacking the vehicle.
"Crash, quickly!" Billy Bob called, "There a laser gun thingy attached to the back of mah car. It's under that there tarp. Blast the Interdroids with it!"
Crash got up and removes a tarp to reveal a barrel of pickles.
"The other tarp!" Billy Bob called.
The Interdroids began blasting at the old jeep. Crash, panicking threw the barrel at the robots. The Interdroids slipped on the vinegar-covered pickles and crashed
into each other.
"I guess that there works to," Billy Bob said.
Crunch leapt from the vehicle and began blasting the Interdroids.
Coco leapt out and kicked several Interdroids in the face.
"We could use some help here!" Coco called.
Crash nodded and blasted the Interdroids with the laser cannon.
"Oh no!" Billy Bob cried.
"What is it? Coco asked.
"I left the water running at home!" Bob exclaimed.
Coco rolled her eyes and continued fighting.
"So let me get this straight," Neo said, "You want to kill us."
"Yes," Lederhosen answered.
"As in… we die?" Neo asked.
"That's right," Lederhosen told Neo.
"So," Neo said, "As in we won't be…"
"I have had enough of this!" Uka Uka roared as he began frying Interdroids.
Nina punched an Interdroid in the face and gave it a wedgie while it was distracted with its broken nose. The strange thing is that Interdroids don't have noses, or
underwear for a wedgie. Tropy impaled several Interdroids with his stick…
"It's a scepter!"
…And then a he got hit on the head with a brick.
"Wait, what?" Tropy asked as the brick hit his head, "Nice try, I had my Time Machine Helmet on!"
A flying brick hit him in the face.
"Hey guys!" N. Gin called as he pulled out a new weapon, "I have a new weapon! It's the Fiery Accumulating Rotating Turret or F. A. R. T.!"
While N. Gin was monologuing his new weapon, a Delta Interdroid threw N. Gin into Lucinda D. Girly's Pink Dress and Girly Makeup Factory. He tumbled out of the
factory's front doors, wearing something that looks amazingly similar to his ballerina costume in Crash Tag Team Racing.
"I feel pretty!" N. Gin cheered.
"We could use some help here!" Neo called.
"Oh yeah!" N. Gin exclaimed as he whipped out the F. A. R. T.
Several Delta Interdroids leapt at the rocket scientist. N. Gin aimed the weapon, and pulled the trigger.
The bandicoots and Interdroids stopped fighting as they stared in awe at the mushroom cloud that has formed on the other side of the city.
"Only one person is insane enough to cause a nuclear explosion like that," Crunch said.
"N. Gin," the three bandicoots and floating mask said in unison.
Back with the N- Team, all of the Interdroids were disintegrated by the blast, and our villainous heroes were covered in soot.
"Wow! What a rush!" N. Gin exclaimed, "Let's do that again! Let's do that again!"
"You haven't heard from the last of me, N- Team!" Lederhosen called, "I'll be back! You can count on it!"
The vulture teleported away from the city.
Neo stayed silent for a few minutes before he said, "Weirdo."
The Delta Interdroids and bandicoots continued to fight. Crash was zapping the robots with the jeep's laser. Aku Aku formed a body out of the concrete and began
smashing the Interdroids.
"We need a quicker way to beat these guys," said Crunch, "But how?"
"I have an idea!" Billy Bob called, "But it's risky, dangerous, unlikely, improbably, and might cause diarrhea."
"Well, what is it?" Coco asked.
Billy Bob thought for a moment and said, "Gosh, I forgot."
Coco sighed and continued to beat the cogs out of the Interdroids.
"I had it one second," Billy Bob told no one in particular, "It's on the tip of mah tongue… I've almost got it."
"Billy Bob!" everyone else yelled.
"I remember!" Billy Bob cheered, "It was something I picked up restaurant. It was the name Doctor N. Tangle!"
All of the Interdroids' heads exploded, and the jeep's wheels burst.
"Yes!" Coco cheered.
"We won!" Crunch exclaimed before turning to Billy Bob, "Great job, buddy."
"Thank ya'll for helpin' me remember," Billy Bob said, "Even though mah jeep's busted. But I have duct tape!"
He began working on the broken down vehicle. He opened up the jeep's hood and worked on the engine.
"You do know that only the tires need to be fixed, right?" Crunch asked.
"I know what I'm doin'," said Billy Bob, "I wonder what would happen if you cross these here wires."
The engine had a small explosion.
"I'm okay," Billy Bob said, "I just have ta peel off tha dead skin."
"Are you sure you're okay, Billy Bob?" Aku Aku asked.
"I'm sure," Billy Bob answered, "Just one question; does anyone here know how to treat third-degree burns?"
After brushing off the soot, the N- Team continued to travel through the city.
"Uncle Neo, my feet hurt," Nina whined.
"My feet hurt too, Nina," Neo responded, "But we need to keep strong if we ever want to return home."
"Doctor Cortex, look!" N. Gin called.
"What is it, N. Gin?" Neo asked.
"Look," N. Gin said as he pointed to a shop window.
A power crystal was on display.
"Wow," Neo said, "Good eyes, N. Gin, but look. It's five hundred million Zeroids! How can we afford that?"
"We're evil villains, remember?" Tropy asked.
"What do you mean, Tropy?" Neo asked.
Tropy smiled, broke the window, took the crystal, and said, "I mean that we should run."
The five of them ran off as the shop's burglar alarm sounded. N. Cognito ran out of the store.
"Come back here thieves!" he called, "They're stealing the crystal that I stole… I mean… inherited."
The N- Team stopped about ten blocks away, panting heavily.
"It feels good doing evil again," Neo said.
"Again?" Tropy asked, "When did you start?"
"Not funny, Tropy," Neo said.
"Oh really?" the time scientist asked, "Because I think it's hilarious!"
"Look at what I got at the store," said N. Gin.
He held up four high-tech scuba suits.
"Why would we need scuba suits?" Neo asked as he began walking, "I'm sure that there are any oceans nearby…"
He walked off the harbor he was standing on and fell into the ocean. He resurfaced.
"That was coincidence," Cortex said.
"Come on," Tropy said, "We'd better get going before more Interdroids appear."
The suits mechanically wrapped themselves around Neo, Nina, N. Gin, and Tropy.
"But, I'm scared of the water!" N. Gin exclaimed.
"How can you be scared of the water?" Neo asked, "You have your own battleship!"
"Umm… bad story continuity?" N. Gin said.
Uka Uka rolled his eyes and pushed N. Gin into the water.
"Can we go before my wood rots?" he asked.
Everyone nodded and began swimming through the water. Uka Uka formed a bubble around himself and floated into the ocean.
"Is it just me," Neo said, "Or did the water get warmer?"
N. Gin went red and said, "Sorry."
"Okay! I'm done fixin' that there jeep!" Billy Bob called, "I found this familiar-lookin' shiny rock in the engine. Do ya'll know what it is?"
Crash wiped the grease off of the object and realized that it was a power crystal.
"Wow, another power crystal!" Aku Aku said, "How lucky can we get?"
"C'mon, we have another world ta get ta," Billy Bob told the bandicoots as they hopped into the jeep.
"How can we get to other worlds in this?" Crunch asked, pointing to the rusty old jeep.
"While I was fixin' the jeep," Billy Bob explained, "I gave it a few upgrades."
He pushed a button and wings appeared on the sides of the jeep. The wheels turned ninety degrees, like the Crash Nitro Kart vehicle wheels, and began hovering
off the ground. Huge jet engines appeared on the back of the vehicle.
"You gave it a few upgrades?" Coco asked.
"Just imagine what I can do with loads of upgrades," Billy Bob told them, "We're going to where Captain Plat lives. Next stop, Port Zortuga!"
He shifted the jeep's gears and it sped off into the sky. Suddenly, the jeep landed back in Zeropolis in the exact same spot.
"Excuse me," Billy Bob said as he rushed off to the bathroom.
He came back after he did his "business" and said, "Okay, now we can go."
Sergeant Lederhosen rushed into a large room, carrying a box under his wing.
"General! General!" the vulture called, panting heavily from his running, "We found something… down in the Barrier."
"Well, what is it?" A deep, growly voice said.
"Here," Lederhosen said, handing the package to a large figure in the shadows.
The figure ripped open the box open and got out a glowing power crystal.
"A power crystal?" he asked, "This is very good news. Was there any more findings?"
"Yes, general," Lederhosen answered, "We found these big mechanical arms nearby."
"I have no need for mechanical arms," the figure said, "We are already up to our armpits in mechanical arms."
"But general," Lederhosen said, "These are no ordinary mechanical arms. They are the arms to N. Terdimensional's Psychetron!"
The figure stepped into the light. He was a huge, muscular wolf, and was wearing black leather trench coat with many medals on it, black army boots, black gloves,
and a black eye patch over his left eye. I know what you're thinking, this wolf guy sure likes the color black.
"Psychetron arms you say?" the wolf asked, "Where is the base?"
"We are still looking, general," Lederhosen answered.
"It looks like as if the bandicoots and N- Team have a new name to fear," the wolf said, "And that name is General Tracy Wolfgang! And yes, it is very unfortunate
that my name is on the Stupid Name List. It's very hard to fear someone called Tracy, especially when that someone is a boy. But they shall still fear my name!"
Next time on Crash: Multiverse Mishap…
The bandicoots search for Captain Plat in Port Zortuga, and the N- Team travel the sea. But with Doctor N. Tangle and General Wolfgang watching their every move,
will they survive long enough to return to their home? Find out in Chapter Four: Scientist in the Water.
PSManiac: Review and suggest! Your suggestions are what are keeping me out of a writer's block