When Riley walked back into the clinic she was scared, she was ashamed but she was most of all scared. She didn't know how to get better but she also knew she had to. Auggie was coming to visit and she couldn't be broken when he arrived. She remembered the day before when Farkle had gone home, she had tried not to cry. Farkle was for all intents and purposes the love her life and she was scared to think that maybe he would find someone less broken. He had been texting all day, saying how proud he was of her. The best texts she had got were from Zay demanding to know why on earth he didn't know her and Farkle had got together then he wanted to know if she was being treated right. She had just replied when she was called into the councillor's office.
When Riley got home she was met with a little boy jumping up and down on the couch and then running into her, knocking them over. He pulled her over to the couch and snuggled into her.
"Riley, guess what?" he shouted. She laughed
"What?" the little boy gleamed
"It's nearly Christmas and mummy says If you aren't finished taking care of the sick relative then I get to come down here and spend it with you!" Riley smiled. She may not think that she was loved but seeing the innocence in her little brother eyes only empowered her to get better. She knew if she decided to end her life again it would destroy him. She couldn't do that.
Riley spent the day with the boy, playing superheros or soccer. He was giggling until Riley's sleeve hitched up and he saw her scars.
"Riley?" she looked at him and hummed.
"What have you got scars on your arms?" she froze. How could she explain that she was purposely hurting herself to a six year old? Topanga looked between her two children and walked over to them.
"Auggie, you know how Riley was looking after a sick relative?" Auggie nodded.
"Well to do so she has to fight of some evil people who want to hurt the relative" Auggie's eyes lit.
"Does she like fight dragons and stuff?" Topanga swallowed and looked towards Riley's wrists and ankles.
"Yeah, big scary dragons"
"That's so cool" and then he ran inside as Riley turned to her mother.
"Sometimes the bug scary dragons win mummy" and then Riley began to cry into her mother's arms. Topanga's heart shattered at the sight of her daughter. She took Riley inside and consoled her, as she held Riley she promised herself that she would never let her daughter go.
Riley loved her little brother dearly so when it came time to leave she didn't want him to. Auggie's innocence had inspired something in her that she hadn't had in a while, hope. His hope and innocence had made her realise that she could recover if she really, really tried. She had rung Shawn the night before and the two had a good long talk about how to deal with the urges and how to use the help to her advantage. She had rung her father who was at work and unable to come so she could apologise. They talked for hours until Riley had to go to bed.
As Auggie hugged Riley he handed her a present, a new charm for her bracelet and a picture of the two of them.
"I know that the bracelet I got you is already full but… I just wanted to give you something to remember me by" she smiled and hugged him tighter.
"I'll be home soon Aug, hopefully by Christmas." The smile on his face was worth all the pain she would put herself through to get better. She knew she would go through hell to get better if it meant her little brother would smile like that again and as she watched him leave with her mother she made a promise that she would get better, or die trying.