PSManiac: Arg, mateys! It's another pirate chapter! Join the crew, landlubbers, as we set sail for chapter five of Multiverse Mishap! Drop the anchor for CrashFad13
and Captain Liam.4000 for their ideas! I have commandeered no other ideas except my own! Enjoy, or walk the plank!
Chapter Five: Tomb of the Pirate Emperor
The bandicoots fought of the robot zombie pirate ghosts. Billy Bob shot a few pirates with his musket. Metalbeard soon noticed the six heroes fighting his pirates.
He smiled evilly.
"Mateys! Bandicoots off the port side!" he called, "Bring them in and keelhaul the landlubbers!"
"What did he say?" one pirate asked another.
"I don't know," the other pirate said, "I got none of that."
Metalbeard sighed and yelled, "Just kill them!"
"Oh! Why didn't you say so?" the pirate asked.
The bandicoots saw that all of the pirates were about to attack them.
"This isn't good," Crunch said.
Coco saw Metalbeard rush to the center of town.
"Where's he going?" she asked, "Let's follow him!"
The bandicoots fought their way through the pirates in pursuit of the robot zombie pirate ghost captain. They ended up in the town square that had a golden
portable toilet in the center. In front of the port-a-john was Metalbeard with a golden roll of toilet paper in his metal hand.
"You're just in time, bandicoots," Metalbeard said, "You're about to witness me lift the curse of the Golden Toilet Paper of Achoo!"
"Bless you," Coco said.
"No, that's the guy's name, Achoo," Metalbeard corrected.
"Bless you," Crunch said.
"Listen, I'm not sneezing!" the pirate captain roared, "I'm saying that the guy's name is Achoo!"
"Bless you," Aku Aku said.
"Listen, you'd better not say 'Bless you' the next time I say 'Achoo!'" Metalbeard yelled.
"Gesundheit," Billy Bob said.
"That's it!" Metalbeard screamed, "All of you landlubbers are so dead!"
He drew his sword and pointed it at the heroes.
"Mateys, get down here!" he called.
Many of the pirates appeared in the town square.
"Leave the orange boy bandicoot to me," Metalbeard said, "He's mine."
"Are we there yet?" Nina asked her uncle as they swam through the Wet Sea.
"We'll get there when we get there!" Neo snapped.
They N- Team, however, failed to notice a certain evil botanist hiding behind a boulder.
"It's time for this 'N- Team' to discover the true power of plant life," Doctor N. Tangle said.
He reached into his pocket and got out a green walnut-sized seed with a golden aura around it. N. Tangle threw the seed into a field of seaweed. The seed landed
and opened up, releasing several green gas bubbles. The gas bubbles popped as they landed on the seaweed. The seaweed began to unearth their roots and
form together to create a huge seaweed monster with glowing yellow eyes.
"Sick them," N. Tangle said as he pointed to the N- Team.
The creature roared and swam after the N- Team at the speed of a torpedo.
"Um… Doctor Cortex?" N. Gin asked.
"Yes, N. Gin?" Neo asked.
"Is there supposed to be a giant mass of seaweed with glowing yellow eyes speeding towards us?" N. Gin asked.
Neo swam out of the way just in time to avoid the creature's smashing fist.
"It's time to become compost, chlorophyll face!" Uka Uka exclaimed as he formed a body out of rocks and sand.
He threw sharp rocks at the monster, but the creature disappeared under the sand to avoid the rocks.
"Where did he go?" Tropy asked.
Then, the time scientist saw a big shadow cast over him.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?" he asked.
He quickly swam out of the way of the creature's fist.
"That thing is big and fast," Nina said, "How can we stop it?"
"Perhaps we can get this giant tin can," N. Gin said, "That's all I can think of."
Neo saw that there was shore about a couple yards away.
"Guys," he said, putting on his evilest smile, "I have a devious plan."
"Will it have the same results as your last several devious plans?" Tropy asked.
"This is why, Tropy, that I hate your guts," Neo said.
Crash ran at Metalbeard but stopped when the pirate captain's sword pointed itself at the bandicoot's neck.
"Step one step closer," Metalbeard said, "And… well, use your imagination."
Crash looked around quickly and saw a nearby sword. He picked it up and clashed swords with the pirate captain.
"Oh!" Metalbeard exclaimed, "Now we're talking, or fighting as the case may be."
The hero and the pirate fought around the town square.
"Do you want to know how me and my crew became undead?" Metalbeard asked as he and Crash fought.
Crash shook his head.
"Well I'll tell you anyway," he said, "It was on a Wednesday, pizza night for me and my crew. We looted the port and found the golden Portable Toilet. We can't
move it since it was heavily bolted to the ground. But we found the cursed toilet paper. It's not made of gold, just golden paper, but its softness, intricate floral
pattern, strength, size, and absorption makes it a price of 500 billion Zeroids. All of the crew used it, but it cursed us. Although we were given the ability to live
forever and become invincible, the toilet paper made us rust. On top of that, we can't sleep, eat, drink, feel, or use the toilet. Constipation is a nasty thing. The only
thing that can lift the curse is a very rare fur in the 0th Dimension. It's a bandicoot's fur."
Metalbeard swiped his sword, but Crash ducked under the attack and sliced off the robot's arm.
"That would hurt if I was alive!" Metalbeard said before laughing.
His dismembered arm began to crawl towards the bandicoot. Crash, in panic, kicked the arm away. At the other side of town square, a red parrot in pirate clothing
appeared.
"I am Captain Zack Arrow!" the parrot pirate declared, "I am here to save you all!"
Suddenly, Metalbeard's dismembered arm flew through the air and grabbed Zack's beak.
"Get it of me!" Zack screamed.
He walked back, tripped, and fell down a well. Crash and Metalbeard took no notice of this and continued to fight.
"Give it up, landlubber!" Metalbeard exclaimed, "You will never defeat me! You can't kill me! I'll always return! You on the other hand, that's a different story."
The Seaweed Beast threw punches at the N- Team, all of them narrowly avoiding the attacks.
"Come and get us, chlorophyll face!" Neo called as he and the rest of the N- Team swam towards shore.
The Seaweed Beast swam after them.
"I'd like to see you get us now!" Neo called.
Suddenly, the Seaweed Beast launched a tentacle made out of seaweed and it grabbed Cortex.
"Get it off of me!" he screamed.
"I'm trying!" Tropy called, repeatedly zapping the tentacle.
"Hurry up, you guys!" Neo called, "I may be old, but I don't want to die now!"
"I'll help you, Doctor Cortex!" N. Gin called as he picked up a rock and began bashing with all his might.
"N. Gin! N. Gin!" Neo screamed, "Stop it! That's not the tentacle!"
N. Gin stopped bashing to see Cortex with bruises all over his head.
"Umm… sorry about that," N. Gin apologized.
"If I can just reach for my laser," Cortex said as his hand reached towards his laser gun.
He grabbed the weapon and quickly changed the setting.
"Let's see how you like this!" he bellowed, and he pulled the trigger.
The Teletubbies theme song emitted from the laser.
"Oops, it's the wrong setting," he said as he changed the setting, "Now let's see how you like this!"
He pulled the trigger once more and the laser shot out a heat ray. The water around the tentacle began to boil, and the creature let go of Cortex and stepped back
in pain.
"Swim!" Neo yelled, and the N- Team frantically began to swim to land.
The creature quickly swam after them. The five anti-heroes crawled onto land, and the creature landed nearby. Suddenly, the creature began to choke and shrivel
up, thanks to the air and sunlight. Soon, it was a pile of dead seaweed.
"I hate the ocean," Neo said.
Then he noticed something shining in the pile of seaweed. He pulled it out.
"Aha!" he cheered, "A power crystal! Hopefully, these crystals will get us back home."
"Where are we anyway?" Tropy asked.
The N- Team was in what looks like a foggy graveyard.
Neo walked up to a sign and read, "Welcome to Creepy Hollow, don't litter."
Meanwhile, Crash continued to fight Metalbeard.
"Fight while you can, marsupial!" Metalbeard said, "I will defeat you!"
And then, Crash remembered about the Portable Toilet and the bandicoot fur. He ran over to the portable toilet and pulled out some of his hair.
"Where are you going, landlubber!" Metalbeard asked, "Unless, oh no! Don't throw the fur into the toilet water!"
Crash did so.
"Don't flush it! I'll be alive again if you do!" Metalbeard called.
Crash flushed the toilet and a bright light shone out of the bowl. The rust on the pirates disappeared and the fleet fell apart. The skull on the Dreadbooger, for
some random reason, inflated and exploded.
"Run away! One pirate screamed as the rest of the robot pirates ran off, except for Metalbeard.
"Come back here you scallywags!" Metalbeard roared.
He saw the bandicoots walk closer to him, and he ran into the nearest doorway, a steel refinery. The bandicoots ran in and saw Metalbeard on a platform over a
huge pit of molten steel.
"You bandicoots think that you can defeat me?" he asked, "I am the feared pirate, Captain Metalbeard! Besides, I still have the Toilet Paper of Achoo."
He held up the golden toilet paper roll. Billy Bob used his musket to shoot the toilet paper out of the robot pirate's hand and into the molten steel.
"I should have seen that coming," he said, "I will be back!"
He grabbed onto a chain rope with one hand and jumped of to grab onto the next chain rope with his other hand. But he had only one arm, remember.
"I forgot about that," he said before he fell into the vat of molten metal.
"I guess that's the last of Captain Metalbeard," Plat said.
Suddenly a glowing crystal rose out of the molten steel and landed in front of the bandicoots.
"It's a power crystal!" Billy Bob exclaimed as he picked it up, "Ouch! It's hot!"
He threw the crystal into the air and Crunch caught it.
"How come you're not getting' all burned and stuff?" Billy Bob asked.
"Robotic arm, remember?" Crunch asked.
"So, Captain Plat, will you be coming with us?" Aku Aku asked.
"Sadly no," Plat said, "With the rest of Captain Metalbeard's crew still out there, I need to protect the port."
"Well, let's go then," Coco said as they hopped into the jeep and flew off, waving goodbye to the spaceship captain. However, the bandicoots failed to notice a
rusty, robotic hand rise out of the molten steel.
Next time on Crash: Multiverse Mishap…
The bandicoots continue on their journey back home. Also, the N- Team must travel through the scary graveyard world of Creepy Hollow. What shall happen? Find
out in Chapter Six: Corn of the Dead.
PSManiac: Review and suggest!