PSManiac: Be afraid. Be very afraid. Be very veryafraid. It's the first spooky chapter of Multiverse Mishap. The dreaded Chapter six! If you multiply this chapter by
111, it's chapter 666! Special thanks to PhantomBen, CrashFad13, and Christopher Mason for their haunting ideas. I have possessed only my own ideas, not any
others. Enjoy, if you dare!
Chapter Six: Corn of the Dead
Billy Bob's jeep landed in the graveyard world of Creepy Hollow.
"Accordin' to tha jeep's computer," Billy Bob said, "There is a strong crystal readin' comin' from this here world, Creepy Hollow."
"Is there anything that jeep doesn't have?" Coco asked.
"It doesn't have a toilet," Billy Bob answered.
Crash looked around the graveyard that they were standing in. He saw a glowing power crystal floating above one of the tombstones. The bandicoot ran up to it
and grabbed it. He cheered in victory, but that was before the ground began the shake.
"What did you break now?" Crunch asked Crash.
Suddenly, zombies began to rise up from the ground.
"Great, more zombies," Coco said.
Billy Bob shot one of the zombies in the chest. Although the shot made a huge hole, the zombie didn't notice. Coco kicked several zombies in their heads, and those
previously mentioned heads flew off, but began bouncing towards our heroes.
"Why won't you die?" Crunch asked as he punched several zombies.
"They're zombies, Crunch," Aku Aku said, "They're already dead."
"You're a voodoo mask," Crunch exclaimed, "Can't you call them off or something?"
"Sorry Crunch," Aku Aku said, "But this is a whole different league."
"Do you mean like a baseball league or something?" Crunch asked.
"Yeah, the voodoo major leagues," Aku Aku said sarcastically.
Coco saw an old mansion on top of a nearby hill.
"Over there, guys!" she called, "We can go to that creepy, old, and possibly haunted mansion up on that hill!"
"That doesn't sound too good," Crunch said as he punched a zombie's legs off.
"Is there another way?" Coco asked.
"No, not really," Crunch answered, "But first we have to fight through these zombies to get there."
"That could be a problem," Aku Aku said.
The N- Team crept through the creepy forest of Creepy Hollow creepily.
"Okay! We get it! It's creepy!" Neo called.
"You shouldn't really yell at the author like that," Tropy said, "Take it from me, bad things happen when you yell at the author."
"As if," Neo said.
The box-headed scientist continued walking, only to have a giant spider drop on his head.
"Ah!" he screamed, "Get it off of me!"
He ran screaming down the forest path with the rest of the N- Team chasing after him.
"Cortex! Come back here!" Uka Uka roared.
Neo continued to run and scream until he ran into something, squishing the spider in the process.
"My poor head," Cortex moaned as he massaged his throbbing and spider gut-covered forehead, "My poor, sticky head."
The rest of the N- Team caught up to Cortex, exhausted from their running. N. Gin was so tired that he fainted on the spot.
"Great, N. Gin fainted again," Nina said, "And I'm not going to pick up that bag of lard again."
"Lard? Where?" N. Gin asked excitedly as he shot up from his unconsciousness.
Neo looked up and saw that they were in front of a tomb.
"I am sensing a crystal inside this tomb," Uka Uka said, "Get that crystal, or I'll fry your butts!"
The other four N- Team members nodded fearfully. Neo tried to open the door, but it won't open.
"It won't even budge," Neo said.
Nina rolled her eyes, walked up to the door, and punched it down. She blew the dust off her knuckles.
"Well, what are you guys waiting for?" she asked, "Lets go."
The five villains cautiously walked through the door and down a winding staircase.
"How long is this staircase?" Neo asked after about twenty minutes.
"The end of these stairs is right after this corner," Tropy said.
"You said that five corners ago," N. Gin told the master of warp technology.
"Stop your whining!" Uka Uka roared, "We still have a power crystal to find. Besides, I'm not tired."
"That's because you have no legs," Neo said.
"But I'm still not tired," Uka Uka said, "So let's get going."
Neo sniffed and said, "I hate my life."
The bandicoots continued to fight through the zombie army. Crash ran to the door, which by some sort of plot hole was unlocked, and opened it for his friends. The
five of them ran inside and slammed the door. The locked about fifty locks and boarded up the front windows.
"That was way to close," Crunch said.
Then they heard a groan from somewhere in the mansion.
"What was that?" Coco asked, whispering.
"I think that was another zombie," Crunch whispered, "It sounds bigger, too."
"I found some rope and a plank," Billy Bob whispered, "We could ambush it."
They waited in the shadows for whatever it was to come their way. When it came close enough, Crash pounced on it and attempted to tie it up. It kicked Crash off.
Crunch moved in with the plank when the creature screamed, "What the… Holy Cheese!"
"It talks?" Coco asked.
"Of course I talk," the figure said with a very familiar Transylvanian accent, "And what do you think you're doing? It's the middle of the day!"
"Fangula?" Aku Aku asked.
"No, it's Meryl Streep," Fangula said.
"Wow, a third-dimension human celebrity!" Billy Bob exclaimed.
"It's called sarcasm," Fangula corrected the third grade education weasel.
"What are you doing here, anyway?" Coco asked.
"I live here, duh," The vampire bat told them.
"You're not going to kill us, right?" Crunch asked.
"I'm too tired to," Fangula said, "Besides, I don't work for N. Terdimensional anymore, with him disappeared and all. Plus, his heir is a jerk. He gives both emotional
and physical pain."
"Who are you talking about?" Coco asked.
"General Wolfgang," Fangula explained, "But I'm too tired to explain any more. I'll tell you at nightfall when I'm awake."
"What about the zombie army on your doorstep?" Aku Aku asked.
Fangula took out a spray can of "Zom-Be-Gone", opened the door, and sprayed the zombies. They rushed back to their final resting places.
"Make yourselves at home," Fangula said as he trudged back to his bed… um… coffin, "Just don't touch anything expensive or breakable."
Crash reached for an oriental vase.
"I said don't touch!" Fangula yelled as Crash pulled his hand away.
Petunia looked up from the jeep. She wondered what was taking everyone so long. She leapt out of the vehicle and began to search for their scent.
The N- Team finally made it to the bottom of the eternal staircase. They were in a large circular room lined with lit torches and a dusty coffin in the center. It also
had a red shag carpet and bright green wallpaper.
"I wouldn't have chosen this interior," Neo said.
"I sense the crystal in that coffin," Uka Uka said.
Neo, Nina, N. Gin, and Tropy pushed opened the coffin's lid. The crystal was inside, sitting on top of a pile of bones.
"There it is," Tropy said, "In all its dusty glory."
"Let's take it before anything weird happens," Neo said as he grabbed the crystal, "Well, that was easy."
Suddenly, the bones formed together to become a huge bone creature.
"I will eat your brains!" the creature roared, "But first I will read your minds!"
"Uh, why?" Neo asked.
"Because memories and thoughts give different brains different flavors," it explained, "And I don't want a sour brain."
"What will you do with a sour brain?" Tropy asked.
"I'll just smash them to pieces, no big deal," the creature said.
"… Great."
The creature read Neo's mind and saw a Neo Cortex-ruled Earth. It read Nina's mind and saw rainbows and fluffy bunnies. And then it read N. Gin's mind. After a
few minutes, it began screaming.
"Make it stop! Make it stop!" the creature screamed before its head inflated and exploded.
"I don't even want to know what you were thinking," Neo said.
"What I was thinking was…' N. Gin said before Cortex interrupted him.
"I said I don't want to know!" Cortex screamed.
The bandicoots sat in Fangula's living room, flipping through the channels on his television.
"Boring, boring, boring," Crunch said as he flipped through the channels.
"Hey, that was the technology channel!" Coco exclaimed.
"But I don't want to watch it," Crunch said.
"Change it back," Coco growled angrily.
Crunch, scared stiff, did so. On the television was none other than Chick and Stew.
"The Dark Matter Engine," Chick said, "Invented by Doctor Otto Ratsputin, is a source of incredible power."
"This invention is like the time I stuffed fifty tons of spam down a trash compactor!" Stew exclaimed, "Although Doctor Ratsputin considered the machine a failure,
the scientists here at Wolfgang Technologies are trying to perfect the cybernetic rat scientist's designs."
"The Dark Matter Engine can use dark matter," Chick explained, "the substance that takes up 95 of all Universes, to create an unlimited power source."
"But not only can it create power," Stew said, "It can also be use for more military means. It can create an infinite..."
A huge rock crashed through the living room window and smashed the TV.
"Oh come on!" Coco whined.
They looked out the window and saw an even bigger army of zombies.
"We must have really bad luck," Crunch said, "Fangula! We need some more Zom-Be-Gone!"
Fangula swooped into the living room and pointed the spray can at the army. Nothing came out.
"It's empty!" Fangula exclaimed.
"I think that's the least of our problems," Aku Aku said as he motioned to something that was coming out of the ground.
A huge, bandaged arm shot out of the ground and unearthed the rest of its body.
"I'm back, babies!" a familiar nerdy voice said.
"Now that is bad luck," Crunch said.
"It can't be," Coco said, "It's… it's… it's…"
"Just spit it out!" Everyone yelled.
"Fine, fine!" Coco snapped, "It's Turbozuma!"
Next time on Crash: Multiverse Mishap…
The Bandicoots must make an unlikely ally in their fight against Turbozuma and his army of zombies. Meanwhile, the N- Team will also make an unlikely alliance.
What will happen? Find out in Chapter Seven: Night of the Living Bread.
PSManiac: Review and suggest!