PSManiac: Hi everybody! Sorry for not updating for a while, but life has been hectic in general. But, I will try my best to update! Anyway, thanks to all who
suggested ideas, even though I can't remember any of them… but you know who you are! I own nothing that I didn't create myself. Enjoy!
Chapter Eight: Randomness from the Black Lagoon
We return to our bandicoot heroes in Creepy Hollow and they are… asleep? Wake up! Turbozuma stirred in his sleep, got up, and yawned.
"Oh, hey PSManiac," he said in his usual nerdy voice, "Dude, where did you go? We were waiting forever for you to update!"
The rest of the Multiverse Mishap cast awoke from their slumber.
"What could be so important that you didn't update for weeks?" Turbozuma asked.
"Well, there was Spore," Coco said.
"And school," Crunch answered.
"And findin' a new computer 'cause his old one got broken n' stuff," Billy Bob said.
"Now, where were we?" Turbozuma asked, "Ah yes… this!"
Turbozuma punched Crash and sent the poor bandicoot threw a nearby window of Fangula's mansion.
"You'd better pay for that window!" Fangula threatened.
Crunch ran up to Turbozuma and punched him in the gut. The undead emperor fell through a wall of the mansion. Turbozuma opened his eyes and saw Crash
standing beside him.
"You!" he roared as he tried to grab the bandicoot.
Crash quickly jumped out of the way and spun Turbozuma's head off. Turbozuma's body felt around for his missing head.
"Over here, you idiot," Turbozuma's head called from the other side of the room, "Go to the left!"
Turbozuma's body crashed into a wall.
"My left!" his head roared.
Turbozuma's body picked up his head and reattached it to his neck.
"I hate it when that happens," he muttered to himself.
Coco karate kicked Turbozuma through another wall and into the kitchen. Turbozuma opened his eyes and saw the kitchen knives. He grinned evilly.
"The tension is thick, isn't it bandicoots?" Turbozuma said as he got up, "You can cut it with a knife!"
Turbozuma used his magic powers to make the kitchen knives float upward.
"That's new," Crunch said.
The knives sped their way to our heroes. The bandicoots used the nearby frying pans as shields.
"Very clever bandicoots," Turbozuma said, "But you forgot about one thing."
Turbozuma picked up the refrigerator, laughing evilly.
"And you forgot about one thing as well," said a voice with a Transylvanian accent behind Turbozuma.
Turbozuma turned his head around and got kicked in the face by Fangula.
"Why you little…" Turbozuma snarled as he tried to grab Fangula, but the refrigerator fell on top of him.
The door of the fridge opened to reveal Turbozuma with eggs in his eyes, a link of sausages around his neck, and a bowl of fruit on his head like a hat. Turbozuma
shook the food off of himself.
"Alright then!" he yelled, "No more mister nice undead guy!"
The N- Team searched the underground sewer tunnels of Ratsputin's lab. Yes, the tunnels also double as sewers. Deal with it. It was cold, wet, stinky, gross,
stinky, dark, stinky, creepy… and did I mention stinky?
"It smells awful down here," Neo said, "Wait a minute, I think I just lost my ability to smell."
"The sooner we find this blueprint thief, the better," Tropy said, "Hmm… is it just me, or did it get colder down here?"
Neo looked down and saw that the ground was covered in green smoke. He looked up and saw that the rest of his team was staring at something behind the box-
headed scientist.
"There's something terrible behind me, isn't there?" he asked.
He turned around and saw a pair of glowing green eyes behind him.
"I hate it when I'm right," he said as the creature knocked him into a pipe.
"What is that thing?" Nina asked.
That "thing" was an Interdroid that was black and dark green in color. Instead of arms, this Interdroid had trails of green smoke with metal claws at the ends. The
abdomen and spidery legs were replaced by a wispy tail of green smoke.
"I am," the Interdroid said, "the Ectodroid!"
"Tropy! Zap him! Now!" Uka Uka ordered.
"My pleasure," Tropy answered as he fired a bolt of energy at the ghostly Interdroid.
However, the Ectodroid disappeared before Tropy's attack could even touch him.
"Where did he go?" N. Gin asked as he got out his missile launcher.
An evil laugh echoed through the maze of tunnels.
"Uncle Neo," Nina said, "Please say that was you."
About twenty feet away, a pipe broke and spewed out a highly corrosive acid. Another one broke and spewed out acid too, this time closer to the N- Team. Three
more pipes broke.
"He's trying to disintegrate us!" Neo yelled, "Run!"
The five villains ran, and flew, away as the pipes exploded behind them.
"Quickly! We're almost at the ladder out of here!" Nina called.
Suddenly, the ground beneath them collapsed and they fell into the tunnel below. Neo looked up and saw that the tunnel was filled with many traps and obstacles.
"What kind of sewer is this?" Neo asked.
The five villainous heroes looked behind them and saw Ectodroid.
"Let's go!" Neo called, and they ran into the trap-ridden tunnel.
They ran through the many traps, obstacles, and moderate annoyances. Uka Uka flew through the swinging blades, only to have his bone earrings fall off.
"What got me into this in the first place?" Uka Uka asked himself as he picked up his earrings, "Why didn't I just stay in my nice, comfy temple prison?"
"Uka Uka! Watch out!" Nina yelled.
Uka Uka looked behind him and saw the Ectodroid preparing to strike him. The evil mask dove out of the way.
"How dare you try to strike me, mortal!" Uka Uka roared as he launched a fireball at the ghostly robot.
The Ectodroid disappeared before the fireball could touch him.
"There is one thing wrong with that statement," the Ectodroid told Uka Uka, "I am no mere mortal. Hahaha!"
Crash jumped and ducked under Turbozuma's attacks.
"Hold still you rodent!" Turbozuma ordered as he picked up Crash and threw him at the mansion's clock tower.
"Crash!" Coco called.
Luckily, everyone's favorite bandicoot grabbed onto one of the clock tower's gargoyles. In a split second, Turbozuma climbed his way up there, too.
"Don't worry about the long drop, bandicoot," Turbozuma said, "It's the sudden stop at the end you need to worry about! Hahaha!"
"We need to help him!" Aku Aku exclaimed.
Billy Bob thought for a moment and said, "I have one of them there ideas."
"Really, what is it?" Crunch asked.
"First we need Petunia, a feather duster, as much pepper as y'all can find, and a ham and cheese sandwich on pumpernickel bread, hold tha mayo," Billy Bob
explained.
"I think I know where you're going with this," Coco said, "But what's the sandwich for?"
"'Cause I'm hungry," Billy bob said, "Fighting an undead emperor seeking revenge does take a lot outta ya."
"You can't run forever, marsupial!" Turbozuma called, "Well, technically you're jumping from gargoyle to gargoyle, but you know what I mean."
Crash jumped on Turbozuma's head and landed on the gargoyle behind him.
"How dare you bounce on the head of an emperor!" Turbozuma roared as he whipped out his golden hammer.
Crash quickly leapt out of the way of Turbozuma's swinging weapon of choice. Turbozuma swung his spiked hammer, and it got stuck in the face of the clock tower.
"Why does this seem to always happen to Crash Bandicoot bosses?" Turbozuma asked no one in particular.
Crash spun Turbozuma's face, flipping it upside down.
"The world's gone upside down!" Turbozuma exclaimed, "Wait a minute, my head's just upside down."
He turned his head right side up and looked around.
"Now where has that rodent gone?" he asked himself.
Turbozuma whipped around and grabbed Crash, who was about to spin him.
"I have you now, marsupial!" Turbozuma roared, "I shall now have the pleasure of tearing you apart into tiny little pieces like a sheet of paper."
Suddenly a green blob hit the wall of the clock tower behind Turbozuma. The undead emperor looked down and saw Coco with Petunia in her hands, pointing the
pig like a gun at Turbozuma.
"Oh no," Turbozuma said as he dropped Crash.
Turbozuma covered his face with is arm as the warthog's snot hit it. Turbozuma, along with everyone else, was very surprised to see that he wasn't disintegrating.
Turbozuma wiped the warthog snot off of his arm.
"It seems that my bandages are too thick for the warthog boogers to disintegrate me," Turbozuma explained, "How… convenient."
Cortex leapt through the final pair of swinging axes.
"The traps seem to be over," Cortex said.
Suddenly, flamethrowers activated and shot flames an inch from Neo's face. Neo felt his face and realized that his eyebrows were gone.
"My precious eyebrows!" he cried, "I shall avenge you!"
"Is he going to be okay?" Nina asked.
"In about five minutes," Tropy explained, "His eyebrows always burn off at least twice a week."
The Ectodroid's evil laugh echoed through the tunnels.
"Quickly! What did Ratsputin give us to fight that thing?" Tropy asked.
N. Gin began pulling out the equipment, naming them as he went.
"We have," N. Gin started, "A flashlight, a GPS device, a Chicago Cubs baseball cap, a pack of trail mix, a map of the tunnels, and… a whisk?"
The Ectodroid appeared and said, "Boo."
N. Gin screamed and tried to uselessly batter the Ectodroid with the whisk. The Ectodroid laughed evilly.
"As if a whisk can ever defeat me," the Ectodroid said.
Cortex thinking quickly grabbed another piece of Ratsputin's equipment, a toaster, pointed it at the Ectodroid, and pulled down the lever. Almost instantly, the
toaster began to suck the Ectodroid's smoke. The Ectodroid howled in pain and flew through a wall.
"What was that?" Nina asked.
"This toaster seems to be able to capture ghostly energy," Cortex explained.
"We need to go after that thing and capture him before he regains his strength," Tropy said.
"Can't we just stay here where it's nice and safe?" Cortex asked.
"Do you want to get barbecued?" Uka Uka asked Cortex.
"No, not really," Cortex answered.
"Then you're coming with us," Uka Uka said threateningly.
Our five "heroes" entered a large, dome shaped room with a large machine in the center. That machine had turning gears, blinking lights, and rotating pipes that
transported liquids to different parts of the lab.
"This has to be the center of the sewers," Neo said, "All of the sewage passes through here, dirty water, clean water, slightly nauseating water, all of it."
The rest of the N- Team stared at their box-headed mad scientist.
"What?" he asked, "I learned a few things from Boiler Room Doom."
Nina tugged on her uncle's lab coat and said, "Uncle, look."
She pointed to the ground. Neo looked down and saw green mist snake around their ankles.
"He's here!" Neo yelled as he whipped out the toaster.
The five of them looked around for the Ectodroid.
"Where did he go?" Uka Uka asked.
"Hey, did that central machine thing always had that green aura around it?" N. Gin asked.
Indeed, the machine was shining a mysterious green aura around itself. The Ectodroid's laugh emitted from the machine.
"It's the Ectodroid!" Tropy exclaimed, "He possessed the machine!"
The possessed machine began firing acid at the N- Team. They dove out of the way as the manic laughter continued. Neo tried to use the toaster, but nothing
happened.
"I think we have to separate the Ectodroid from the machine first," he said.
"Prepare to perish, fools!" the Ectodroid declared as he aimed another blast of acid at the N- Team.
Crash continued to avoid Turbozuma's swipes and punches. He knew that he had to come up with a plan, and fast.
"You're testing my patience, you rat," Turbozuma said, "I shall enjoy ripping out your insides and feeding them to my pet snakes back home."
"That's disgusting," Coco said, "I know that some other enemies have said some bad stuff, but that just takes the cake."
"Thar's cake?" Billy Bob asked, "Where is it?"
"It's a figure of speech, Billy Bob," Coco said.
"Oh, okay," he said, "… what a figure of speech?"
Crash quickly looked around for something to remove Turbozuma's bandages. He saw Turbozuma's hammer embedded in the clock tower's face and hatched am
idea. He quickly grabbed the hammer's handle and pulled. The hammer fell out of the clock face that shattered wide open, revealing the clockwork of turning gears
and pumping pulleys.
"I have you now, bandicoot!" Turbozuma exclaimed as he tried to punch Crash.
Crash ducked and Turbozuma's arm got caught in the clockwork.
"No!" Turbozuma roared as his bandages unraveled.
Coco aimed the pig (you don't hear that everyday) and fired one more glob of warthog snot. The snot hit Turbozuma in the ribcage and the blast pushed him into
the clockwork. Smoke began trailing out of the clockwork as snot and bandages got tangled in the grinding gears.
"It's going to blow!" Crunch yelled.
Crash jumped from the clock tower, and it exploded a few seconds later. Crash covered his eyes and began screaming as he began his fall to Earth… err… Creepy
Hollow, actually.
"I've got you, Crash," Fangula called as he flew up and caught Crash with his clawed feet.
Crash, not realizing that he was now safe, continued screaming.
"Crash!" Fangula exclaimed, "You're safe now!"
Crash looked up at Fangula, and continued screaming. Fangula rolled his eyes. The two unlikely allies landed safely near the rest of the bandicoots. Coco ran up to
her brother and hugged him, and Crunch ruffled Crash's hair.
"Well done, Crash," Aku Aku said, "you have successfully defeated Turbozuma."
A glowing crystal emerged from the ruins of the clock tower and flew down in front Crash, curious, touched the crystal and it zoomed off into space.
"Follow that crystal!" Coco called as the bandicoots jumped into Billy Bob's jeep and chased after the crystal.
"I don't need any help rebuilding my home, by the way," Fangula said sarcastically, "Thanks for asking."
The N- Team continued to fight the Ectodroid-possessed machine. Cortex rolled out of the way of a blast of acid and shot the machine.
"It's not taking enough damage from my blaster!" Neo exclaimed.
Neo thought for a moment.
"I can't think of anything," Neo said.
"Here let me help you with that," N. Gin said as he placed a light bulb above Cortex's head and turned it on.
"I've got it!" Neo yelled, "Tropy! Uka Uka! Use lightning!"
Tropy and Uka Uka looked at each other, and shocked Cortex.
"I meant shack the machine!" a very charred Neo said.
"I know," Tropy said smugly.
"Please, just shock the machine," Neo pleaded.
Tropy and Uka Uka blasted the machine with their lightening bolts. The Ectodroid screamed and came out of the machine.
"I got him!" Neo exclaimed.
He sucked the Ectodroid into the toaster. Suddenly, a power crystal flew out of the water. Neo grabbed the crystal and pocketed it.
"Another point for the N- Team!" Neo exclaimed.
"One problem, though," Tropy said, "How are we supposed to get back to the lab? This place is a huge maze!"
In a flash of light, the N- Team disappeared.
Meanwhile, Ratsputin watched them disappear through a security camera. He swiveled around in him computer chair to face Wolfgang.
"Well done, my pawn," Wolfgang said, "Now that the N- Team has been teleported to the one place they couldn't interfere with my plans, there is only the
bandicoots to take care of."
"Just give me back my plans and you can be on your way," Ratsputin said as he turned back around to face the computer screen.
"About that," Wolfgang said, "There has been a change of plans."
Ratsputin's ears perked up and he asked, "What do you mean by 'A change of plans?'"
Suddenly, two Delta Interdroids grabbed Ratsputin and carried him away.
"Take him to the Valan Insane Asylum for acts against the dictator," Wolfgang ordered, "Maximum security, level seven."
"I'm not insane!" Ratsputin yelled, "I'm eccentric! There's a difference!"
Outside, a blueprint traveled through the dying grass of Creepy Hollow. It flew left, right, forwards, backwards, upwards, downwards, and many other kinds of
wards. A dirty, gloved hand picked it up.
"Excellent," the owner of the gloved hand said.
Next time on Crash Multiverse Mishap…
The bandicoots follow the runaway crystal to their next destination for adventure, a world from the first of the trilogy. Meanwhile, the N- Team, thanks to General
Wolfgang, get sent to a mysterious new world. What will happen? Will our heroes prevail? Do you want fries with your order? Find out in Chapter Nine: Super
Crash Brothers!
PSManiac: Review and suggest!