Part Twenty-Three
Apparently his Marine tendencies were still intact because it was less than ten minutes before he let himself into the bedroom, quietly making his way around to the far side of the bed and climbing in. He didn't shift around to find a comfortable position or tug on the blanket. In fact, the only thing she felt was the depression of the bed when he climbed in. The man was freakishly silent. Thinking of how the man who'd snuck into her apartment and climbed on top of her had been the same way to keep from waking her, a chill ripped through her. She pondered again which one of them was completely fucking nuts. She gathered the cover tightly in her fists, tucking it and her hands up near her chin, hoping he couldn't feel the way she was shaking.
"Night, Liv."
She wanted to pretend to be asleep, but she knew better. He knew she was awake or he wouldn't have said anything. Trying to keep her voice steady, she replied in kind. "Night, El."
"You really don't have to be afraid of me, you know."
"I'm trying." And she was. She only had to keep staunchly ignoring reality and she'd be all good.
"I can sleep on the couch. It's no problem."
"No, it's fine." It wasn't, but she was trying to hedge her bets, attempting to behave civilly in case he turned out to be telling the truth.
"Ok. Night, Liv."
"Night, El." With another silent shiver, she decided to will herself to sleep. The only way to determine if he was trustworthy, she realized, was to trust him and see what happened. Either he screwed her over or not. It was up to him.
She must have drifted off, because she recognized the disorientation she felt. For a long, scary moment, she took in her surroundings, trying to determine what had woken her. The room seemed secure enough, the cabin silent, the noises she'd begun to get used to outside were almost familiar. And Elliot, he was still on his side of the bed, a large enough distance between their bodies to assure her that he hadn't been trying anything untoward.
She waited, listening, wondering. And then the tortured moan beside her told her exactly what had disturbed her. Elliot was moaning, almost whimpering, in his sleep. "El, wake up."
Hoping, yet instinctively knowing better, she gave her voice a chance to work through the dreamy haze. But his anxiety only increased, his breaths becoming short and fast.
"El, come on, wake up." She rolled onto her side, squinting in the darkness, picking out his profile against the pillow, seeing his face screwed up in misery. She didn't care just then what he'd done, or might have done or might have tried to do, to her. There was only her partner, her trusted friend, and he was suffering. She reached out under the blanket, her hand finding his bare shoulder. She shook him, hoping that would work better than talking had.
He felt it, obviously, because he reached up, pushing her hand away, not quite waking up.
It hurt. It really fucking hurt. It hurt on a level she couldn't even begin to understand. Reluctantly, she pulled back, listening as he sunk back into the tormented dream, nearly crying out from the imagined pain of something only he could see.
"No!" The sheer volume of his shout made her jump
There was no way she'd be able to sleep, even if she somehow rationalized ignoring her partner's pain. Telling herself it was nothing personal, she reached out again, her hand wrapping around his shoulder again, giving it a good shake.
Again, he shoved her off, rolling away from her, muttering something Olivia had never expected to hear. "Don't touch me, Kathy."
Encouraged, she pushed herself closer, knowing she wasn't the one he was trying to brush aside. She propped herself up on her elbow, shaking his shoulder again. "El, wake up. It's Liv."
He muttered something first, but the words clicked a moment later, as he rolled back towards her, blinking sleepily at her. "Liv?"
She smiled, not even sure if he could see it in the dark. "Yeah. You were having a nightmare."
He nodded, rubbing a hand across his eyes. "Sorry for waking you."
She shook her head, completely refusing to acknowledge how good it made her feel to know that it had been his estranged wife that he hadn't wanted near him. "It's ok. Good night."
He smiled at her, his hand reaching across the space between them and folding around hers. "Night."
She hadn't fallen back to sleep when he started thrashing. It started slowly, the movements small enough that she simply thought he wanted his hand free. But after she'd let go of him, he continued to shift around uncomfortably. And then the moaning started again, a truly terrified sound pouring from his throat. She pushed herself back onto her elbow, intending on waking him again, except he beat her to the punch.
He jerked right up into a sitting position, a shout ripping from his throat just as he regained consciousness, the sound of her name yelled in such unadulterated terror sending a cascade of shivers through her.
She sat up behind him, carefully reaching out to touch his bare back.
"Fuck off, Kathy."
Undeterred, she brushed her hand along his arm, offering him a smile when he turned toward her, watching the incensed fury fade into downright relief.
"Liv?"
She nodded, telling herself that he was getting more from the contact than she was. But she didn't have to bother with the ridiculous waste of time that would have been convincing herself of that. Because he twisted around, reaching for her, pulling her against him, crushing her body to his in a tight hug.
"Thank God, you're ok."
She nodded, returning the desperate squeeze. "Yeah, I am, but I don't know how long I can live without breathing."
He loosened his hold slightly, acknowledging her words without letting her go completely. His face pressed into her hair. "I'm sorry for waking you."
She let herself hold him, knowing from the way his body shook that whatever he'd just suffered through had hurt him. And so what if she enjoyed the way he was holding her too. "It's ok, El. It was just a dream."
"Yeah, I know."
A few minutes later, his shudders had died off and he started yawning, leading her to suggest they go back to sleep. He nodded his agreement, though his arms took their own sweet time releasing her.
And a short few minutes after that, she was calling his name again, trying to get through to her terrified partner who was screaming her name at the top of his lungs.
He wasn't in any hurry at all to release her the second time. He kept shaking, trembling against her as he squeezed her close. She couldn't deny the way he clung to her, the fear that had been in his voice when he'd called her name.
Finally, sheepishly, he pulled back, lying down and opening his arms for her to crawl into. "That's why I've been taking those pills, Liv. I couldn't even get through a couple hours."
She looked up at him, unable to deny the desperate urge to do anything to give him a little bit of peace. Even knowing it was a bad idea, she did it anyway. With a seductive smile, she pulled herself across his body, pushing him flat beneath her. His eyes were wide, curious and interested, right up until she closed hers, letting her lips brush against his with every intent in the world.
He let her kiss him long and hard, only pulling back when they both needed to breathe. "What are you doing?"
She smiled, directing her attention to his throat and letting her mouth run along the skin there. "Since apparently sleeping is out, we're going to have to find some way to pass the time." And just as she'd expected, that was the last of the arguments he offered.
After his shower, he'd come to bed in his boxers, so Olivia was a bit disappointed that she wouldn't get to undress him. Some part of her longed to unwrap him the way she'd almost always seen him, starting with his necktie and shedding layers as they made their way to the bedroom. Of course, the rest of her didn't really give a shit that they'd fast-forwarded to the bedroom part. She let her hands roam freely, allowing herself the indulgence of truly feeling his strength, his bulky muscles beneath his surprisingly soft skin. Her mouth was a bit slower to follow, simply because she was enjoying the way he was letting her taste him. She wasn't sure if she should hurry and taste every bit of his skin or if she would be better off taking her time, tasting what she could reach quite thoroughly.
But Elliot wasn't much for just enjoying the ride, apparently liking control as much in the bedroom as he did in every other aspect of his life. Without giving her a bit of a warning, he rolled them over, burying his face in her neck and taking the opportunity Olivia had. Normally she would have fought for control, she had with every man she'd been with, she had with Elliot over everything else since the day they'd met. It shocked her to realize that she didn't mind relinquishing the control, not to him, not right then.
Because she trusted him.
And there was something ridiculously hot about the way he'd taken it upon himself to protect her against her will.
She didn't mind one bit turning her physical safety over to him because she suspected he would take better care of her than she would herself. And she didn't mind turning over her physical pleasure either. Judging from the way she was trembling and moaning from the lightest contact of his hands outside her shirt, she figured he was going to push her right over the edge of consciousness before they got their clothes off.
His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, pulling at her shirt, finding the waistband of her pants, cupping her breasts, sliding between her legs. She couldn't even be sure she was participating; she was so overwhelmed with the contact so long denied. It took all of her concentration, which Elliot hardly helped her with while his fingers were teasing her clit, just to pull herself up enough to throw her shirt to the floor. Thankfully Elliot took the hint, making quick work of her pants and underwear, leaving her body fully exposed.
For the first time in her life, she didn't feel at all insecure. Olivia was hardly insecure on a regular basis, but there was always something about having her body completely nude, especially as the years went by, that made her wonder if she shouldn't have worked out a little harder or laid off the mayo on her turkey sandwiches. Rather than anxiously waiting for some sign from her lover that she was acceptable, she watched Elliot's face, enjoying the pure pleasure he found in simply looking at her. She knew that he didn't care about those five pounds she kept meaning to lose or that her hips were a bit wider than they had been once or that her skin bore a few scars which served as a reminder of all those close calls she'd faced over the years. He just loved her, loved her body and her mind, loved her for being flawed as much as for being perfect.
He slowly slid back up her body, dropping kisses that seemed to steam against her skin, opening her mouth with his and sliding his tongue along hers. Then his mouth was against her ear, his tongue tracing, his teeth nipping.
"You're fucking perfect, Olivia."
She laughed as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him tighter against her. "Interesting choice of words."
He snickered, immediately distracting her from the levity of the moment by shifting his hips against hers, letting her feel how very much he wanted her, assuring her that he hadn't been lying to her when he said she was perfect. Although she'd dispute the statement, mostly out of honesty and somewhat out of modesty, he really believed it.
As his mouth left a wet trail from her throat to her collarbone to her chest, finally finding one of her nipples and suckling on it, she tried to concentrate. She wished she knew some of those baseball stats men were so infamously said to mentally review when it seemed things were moving too fast and too slow simultaneously. She had to force herself not to give in, not to throw her head back and let go. For whatever reason, silly romantic notion or not, she wanted him inside of her when she came, at least the first time.
Using her nails as claws, she scratched at him until his attention was once more directed at her face instead of her breasts. "You're a little over dressed, El."
He smirked, perhaps knowing the problem, perhaps completely wrapped up in the moment. "We've got all the time in the world." With a grin, he started kissing a new trail, right past her breasts, down to her naval.
She snagged his ear, twisting and pulling until his face was level with hers again. "Yeah, so we'll get to that later." Entirely unconsciously, she felt her nails digging a likely painful path up his back. "Like I said, you're overdressed."
He leaned in to kiss her, the euphoria of the contact between them delaying any pain response he had. But when she turned her head away, pushing at his throat, he gave in with a laugh. "Damn, you're a little bossy, aren't you?"
It only took a second for him to toss his boxers aside and situate himself between her legs. To Olivia, it felt like he'd been there a million times, their bodies instinctively understanding the other's needs. She folded her legs, pressing her feet against his thighs, encouraging him to finish what she'd started.
Although she'd given over physical control to some degree, no man dominated her mind, despite her body's traitorous attempts, and therefore she felt compelled to get in the last word. Just as she felt his fingers checking to make sure she was as ready as she claimed, knowing she only had seconds before his dick slipped inside her and rendered both of them senseless, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up to place her mouth against his ear.
"I'm the bossy one. Says the man who kidnapped me at gunpoint."
Her timing was perfect and she wanted to laugh in her victory, feeling his response, the only one he could muster, of his teeth digging into her shoulder. Except the thought was completely erased from her mind as the sensation took over, easily overwhelming her. The feeling was so intense, so breathtaking, so amazing, that she wasn't even sure she could truly comprehend it. Never in her life had she wanted someone for so long, nor had she ever wanted anyone so much, and, had she possessed the capability of thought just then, she might have recognized that was why it felt so unbelievable to experience his body moving with, and inside of, hers.
She used every scrap of thought she could pull together to turn her head, her mouth seeking his, looking for more connection, if that was possible. Luckily, he met her halfway, his kiss still powerful, but obviously less coordinated as he struggled with the same emotions.
One thing did strike her, an annoying, alarming thought, that left her wondering if maybe the desire they'd let simmer between them had burned so hot and so long that it might ruin the actual sex. She wasn't sure she'd even stay conscious through a climax, something she was sure would ruin the enjoyment.
Except, it eventually occurred to her, that the reason it was so fucking awe-inspiring was because every point of contact, every tiny movement, every fucking everything felt like she was in the throws of the most powerful orgasm she'd ever had. So it wasn't ruined at all; instead heightened beyond the point of phenomenal. And she knew that never again, at least not with any other man, would making love feel so infuckingcredible. She was actually making love, acting out of honest, deep, true emotion.
And something told her that it would always feel like that with Elliot. As though she could ever consider another man as her partner in anything.
Finally, she closed her eyes, dropped her head back against the pillow, and let the physical take over.
She couldn't say she hadn't passed out. She couldn't say she had. All she knew was that one moment all of her nerve endings seemed to catch fire, exploding in fireworks behind her eyes and through her body, her voice calling out his name as she fell. And when she finished falling, he was there, still on top of her, still inside of her, still shaking from the force of his own climax.
Feeling like a selfish little brat, she found herself back at square one, wishing it hadn't been so damn wonderful, if only so that it could have gone on forever. Of course, she figured that Elliot would be more than happy to have another go round as soon as he recovered. She giggled, lifting her chin to press her lips against his shoulder, wishing they'd tried it sooner, thinking that it might be a viable way to end all their disagreements in the future.
Elliot slowly lifted his head, staring down at her with drowsy, curious eyes. "What the fuck is so funny?"
She ran her fingers down his back, feeling the raised skin she'd scratched open, hoping he wouldn't be too mad about it. "Nothing." She tried to distract him with a kiss, but she knew it wouldn't work, if only because they were too fucking tired just yet. "It's been a while since I felt this good is all." It wasn't that it had been too long since she'd had sex; it was that she couldn't honestly remember ever experiencing the light, airy way she felt. She was pretty sure she was floating.
"Oh, well, in that case." He interrupted himself by leaning down, capturing her mouth again for a long, slow, smoldering kiss that left no question as to whether or not he'd be game to go again. "Knock yourself out, Liv."
Even as she kissed him, she could feel exhaustion creeping in. The adrenaline was waning, reminding her that the man's nightmares hadn't let her get any sleep. She pulled back, wondering if her grin looked anywhere near as stupid as it felt. "Think you can sleep now?"
"Sleep? Yeah. I think I can probably manage some really fucking great dreams too." He reluctantly rolled to his side, pulling her with him so she wound up cuddled against his chest.
"Hey, leave some of the great dreams for reality, ok?"
She felt him chuckle, finding something so delightful in being so very close to him. His lips pressed against the top of her head. And then she was out like a light.