PSManiac: Hello and welcome to the thirteenth chapter of Multiverse Mishap. Thanks to all who suggested. I only own the stuff I created myself.
Enjoy!
Chapter Thirteen: Crash of the Jungle
Cortex groaned and slowly lifted his head.
"Oh, my aching brain," he moaned.
He stood up, rubbing his eyes, and walked forward. He walked right into a tree and fell on his back.
"Gah! Right in the face!" he screamed.
"Cortex?" a voice asked.
Cortex sat back up, only to hit his face on the tree again.
"Who is it?" he asked, "I can't see you. I've got splinters in my tear ducts."
"It's us, the Bandicoots!" another voice said.
Cortex opened his eyes and saw Crash, Coco, Crunch, Aku Aku, and Billy Bob standing before him.
"Oh," he said, "It's you guys."
"What are you doing here in the 0th Dimension, Cortex?" asked Aku Aku.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Cortex stated.
"Really?"
"No, I was just wondering why the ground beneath my feet was yelling something incoherent."
Suddenly, Cortex fell over backwards and hit his head on the same tree. A square of mud rose into the air and shook violently. Mud flew
everywhere until the square of mud was revealed to be none other than Uka Uka. Uka Uka spat pinecones out of his mouth.
"That was unpleasant," the evil mask announced, "And what are you good guys doing here?"
"We arrived to the 0th Dimension thanks to Coco's weather machine that went haywire," Crunch explained.
Crash stood in the background, picking his ear.
"I never thought that I would see you here, Uka Uka," said Aku Aku.
"Indeed," Uka Uka said, "I want to know where the rest of my idiotic minions are so that we can kick that N. Tangle guy in the face!"
The tree Cortex hit his head on fell onto the evil scientist. Sitting on the tree's trunk was Nina.
"Ah! Nina!" Uka Uka exclaimed, "Now we just need to find N. Gin and Tropy."
Cortex crawled out from under the tree, covered in bruises and bandages. Suddenly, N. Gin and Tropy fell from the sky and landed right on
Cortex's head.
"I hate my life," Cortex grumbled.
"That was fun!" N. Gin cheered, "Let's go again! Let's go again!"
"Is it just me," Nina stated, "or is this story getting more and more random by the nanosecond?"
"I believe that the term you are looking for is 'randomer,'" corrected N. Gin.
"Randomer isn't a word," Tropy said.
"How would you know?"
"I know because Microsoft Word put a red, squiggly line under the word."
"Oh, yeah, I see!"
"Enough!" Cortex roared, "We need to find a way back home before we are yet again confronted by Wolfgang and N. Tangle."
The fallen tree was lifted into the air, hovered over Cortex, and crushed him.
Completely ignoring Cortex's flattened state, Aku Aku looked around and asked, "Where are we, anyway?"
"Let's see," Coco said, "There are quicksand, tall trees, and giant pools of green and brown water."
"Florida?" N. Gin asked.
"No, it's not Florida."
"Phooey, I wanted to go to Disneyland."
"I got it!" Cortex exclaimed, "Wait, no I don't."
I, the all-powerful author, sighed in annoyance and stuck a large sign tight in front of the group that read, "Welcome to the world of Gaseous."
"No, I still got nothing," said Cortex.
Angrily, I stomped into the story and screamed, "You're in Gaseous, you morons!"
"Uh, PSManiac," Cortex said.
"What is it?!"
"You're standing in a pool of quicksand."
I looked down I saw that I was already up to my shoulders in quicksand.
"Well, this will put a downer on my day," I announced before the quicksand dragged me under.
The characters looked at the now still pool of sand.
"Is he going to be okay?" Coco asked.
"He'll be fine," Tropy told her, "He's the author, what's the worst that could happen to him?"
"Besides," Cortex added, "He deserved that for not updating so often."
The tree rolled over Cortex, injuring him further.
"He has a sick, sick sense of humor," Cortex groaned.
Later, night fell on the world of Gaseous. Our heroes were gathered around a campfire, telling each other of their exploits in the 0th Dimension.
"…And then I threw up," Cortex finished.
"We are supposed to be telling each other what happened while we were in the 0th Dimension," Coco explained, "Not about last year's Arbor
Day party."
"Well excuse me," Cortex said.
Crash's stomach growled in hunger, so the bandicoot pulled a banana out of his pocket.
"Banana!" Cortex hollered before pouncing on Crash and taking the banana away.
This resulted in a massive tug of war between the two mortal enemies. Tropy, annoyed by the two struggling foes, used his stick…
"Scepter!"
Whatever, and blasted the banana to smithereens.
"My banana," Cortex whimpered.
"What was up with that, man?" Crunch asked.
"Do you guys remember when you turned uncle Cortex into a monkey?" Nina asked.
"Yeah," Aku Aku answered, "It was at the ending of Dimension Dilemma."
"Well," Nina continued, "We used the Evolvo-Ray to return him back to his normal self. Well, Uncle Cortex's perception of normal."
"Hey! I'm still here, you know!"
"And, some of his animal instincts haven't completely been gotten rid of."
Suddenly, there was a sound of someone talking from the trees.
"Hide!" Cortex whispered as he blew the campfire out.
Everyone hid in several different places just as the source of the voices emerged. Two Interdroids walked into the clearing and surveyed their
surroundings. One of the Interdroids peered closely at the campfire, where a flicker of flame still remained.
"Someone was here," he said, "They can't be too far by now."
Hiding behind the nearest tree was N. Gin and Uka Uka. N. Gin was squirming uncomfortably.
"What's wrong with you, N. Gin?" Uka Uka whispered.
"Well, I was pushed into lockers daily in high school, my dad never hugged me, my cat had a severe bladder infection…"
"As in for what reason you are squirming!"
"Oh, right, I really have to fart."
"Can't it wait until these Interdroids leave?"
"I don't think I can hold it!"
N. Gin farted, and the methane gases ignited the small flame into a raging inferno that incinerated the Interdroids. Our heroes emerged from
their hiding places.
"Wow, N. Gin's gases sure have some kick to them," Tropy said.
"Crunch waved his hand in front of his nose and asked, "What have you been eating?"
"The usual," N. Gin answered, "Baked beans, broccoli, baked beans, onions, baked beans, chili peppers, and baked beans."
Crunch was about to speak when N. Gin continued his list, "And for lunch, I had baked beans, laxatives, spinach, macaroni and cheese, and
baked bean flavored ice cream with baked beans and laxatives as toppings."
"Lovely," Cortex said sarcastically, "But everyone in the 0th Dimension must have seen that inferno, so we must leave before more Interdroids
show up."
In an instant, a humungous, alligator-like robot emerged from the swamp and roared monstrously.
"I guess I spoke to soon," said Cortex.
Driving in the robot alligator's pilot seat in its forehead was Lederhosen. Not the clothing Lederhosen, the evil vulture with a German-accent
named Lederhosen.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the protagonists of the story?" Lederhosen announced, "After I destroy all of you with the Gatordroid, perhaps
General Wolfgang with promote me to Master Sergeant."
"We ain't gonna surrender, or die, or listen to ya!" Billy Bob snapped, "We are heroes n' stuff, so y'all can't kill us off!"
"But it's worth a try," Lederhosen stated, "But if I can't kill you, I'll just make your lives very painful."
The Gatordroid leapt at the heroes, who ran out of the way. The Gatordroid landed and opened its mouth, Out of the robot's jaws came
dozens of missiles.
"Get out of the way!" Cortex called as he ducked, a missile whooshing over his head.
The missile flew high into the air, stopped, and flew back at Cortex.
"Heat seekers!" he exclaimed as he blasted it with his laser gun.
The missile exploded upon impact with the blast of energy.
"Yeah!" Cortex cheered.
Crash, meanwhile, had about five missiles chasing after him. He ran around in circles in terror until he spotted the Gatordroid and hatched an
idea. He sprinted towards the Gatordoid's mouth, which opened to prepare to chomp on the bandicoot. Crash leapt into the air and the missiles
flew under his feet and into the robotic alligator's mouth. The missiles exploded and several plates of metal flew everywhere, making the other
missiles explode.
"I will get you for that!" Lederhosen declared.
Suddenly, large vines sprang from the ground and knocked the Gatordroid onto its back. Inside the pilot's control room, Lederhosen pushed
back as airbag as someone's voice was emitted from a speaker.
"This is OnDimension," the voice said, "Have you been in an accident?"
"Yeah," Lederhosen answered, "I think I wet myself!"
Outside, N. Tangle appeared out of thin air.
"You and your boss never learn, do you?" N. Tangle asked, "I warned you not to mess with my forested worlds, but you never listen."
He turned to our heroes and asked, "And you guys, doesn't this world just bring back memories?"
"What do you mean?" Aku Aku asked.
N. Tangle laughed evilly and asked, "You mean that you haven't figured it out yet? An enemy with the power over plant life, knows much about
N. Terdimensional and his empire, and a grudge against all of you."
He laughed once again.
"You can't be serious!" N. Tangle exclaimed, "You still can't put the pieces together. I'm pretty sure that the readers can figure it out by now.
Don't you guys get it? This world was where we first met, where we first battle, and where a new life ended and an old life continued."
"Just tell us!" Cortex snapped, "I hate guessing games."
"My dear, dear Doctor," N. Tangle said, "This is far from a game."
His hands grasped his helmet and lifted it off of his head, revealing his true face.
"I was once N. Terdimensional's loyal servant," N. Tangle explained as his yellow eyes shone in mischievousness, "I was the brawn, I was the
plant master."
His long hair of green moss hung around his wooden face from the mushroom cap on top of his head.
"I was Moss Face."
He chuckled as he looked at the shocked faces of the heroes. He slid his helmet back over his head.
"But my days as Moss Face are gone," he said, "Now, it is the time of Doctor Nepenthes Tangle!"
The trees around N. Tangle cracked and exploded into splinters at his full name. N. Tangle broke into evil laughter as his mutant flytrap minions
emerged from the ground around the heroes.
"And do you know what the best part is?" N. Tangle asked, "It was thanks to all of you, that I am what I am today. It was thanks to you, that I
am no longer the idiotic Moss Face, but my true self."
"Well," Cortex said, "This is a twist."
N. Tangle smiled under his helmet and said, "Now, it is time for your destruction."
Next time on Crash: Multiverse Mishap…
The Bandicoots and N- Team battle N. Tangle and his minions. It is plant versus person, bandicoot versus botanist, weasel versus… uh,
something else plant-related that begins with "W." What will happen? Find out in Chapter Fourteen: Swamp Silliness.
PSManiac: Review!