Yamanaka Ino surveyed the scene before her with satisfaction, a wide smile on her face.
The situation, of course, wasn't ideal. They were in the middle of the Fourth Shinobi World War, and almost everyone in the world was currently enveloped in Uchiha Madara's Infinite Tsukuyomi. Failure to release the technique would end in the deaths of all the victims, including her.
The problem was, there was no way to reverse the genjutsu from inside the dream world. She could only hope that Sakura and the others could figure out what to do to break it.
But, maybe, not too soon.
It was silly because she knew it was fake, but she really was enjoying herself, and why wouldn't she? It was a world where her father was still alive, and Sai and Sasuke were fighting over her affections. It was everything she could ever ask for.
Reality, of course, was much, much different. Inoichi was gone forever, killed when a bomb from the Ten Tails fell on the Shinobi Alliance's headquarters. Along with her sensei's death, it was the greatest loss she had ever experienced, and there was a hole in her heart that would never fully mend. Sasuke could care less about her, much less look her way, and Sai, well, he was very hard to read.
Looking at the scene unfold before her now, though, she could only sigh contentedly.
It was wrong, but, yes, she could get used to this.
"Ino is my woman," Sasuke was saying, leveling a sharp glare at his opponent. "Go away."
Sai's voice, when he spoke, was hard. "No, she's mine."
Ino managed to bite back a squeal. She looked back at Inoichi, who was standing a couple of feet away. He smiled at her and gave a thumbs up sign. She waved, happy that he approved of her suitors.
She giggled as she turned to the squabbling shinobi, but her glee evaporated as soon as she laid eyes on them. Both men's fists were raised, ready to strike the other in an effort to win her over. Ino gasped and stood between them. She raised her hands to halt their approach.
"Please," she begged, blinking up at them. "Stop fighting! I'm sure we could settle this some other way. I hate to see you guys get hurt."
Sai gazed at her and smiled. "Ino-san," he said, lifting her chin with his finger. "You truly are the kindest, most beautiful girl I have ever met." Smiling still, he lowered his head to kiss her. Blushing, Ino closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly.
Sasuke slapped his hand away at the last second, however, causing Sai to stagger back. "I told you to keep your dirty, ink-stained hands off my woman," Sasuke spoke, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword. "You're leaving me no choice in this matter."
"Wait! Stop!" Ino shrilled as she pushed them apart again. She was irked that Sasuke would cut the kiss short, but, she told herself, it was to be expected. They were rivals for her love, after all. "Stop! Can we please just talk this over?"
"I'm sorry, Ino-san," Sai said, grabbing a scroll and a brush from his pack. "But this traitor does not deserve your love. I shall eliminate him from this world—"
"Not before I eliminate you first!"
Sasuke unsheathed his sword, its blade gleaming in the morning light. He raised it above his head and made to strike the other man.
"Sasuke, no!" Ino yelled, her eyes wide. "Don't do this!"
"I won't let you settle for a second-rate copy of me," Sasuke answered, his eyes glowing red. "Everyone knows you loved me first, and I intend to return your affections a thousand-fold as soon as I erase this scum off the face of the earth."
"You will never succeed," Sai retorted as three ink tigers leapt from his scroll, fangs bared. They rushed towards the Uchiha, who cut them down with a single strike. Sai clicked his tongue at this setback and began to draw furiously.
Ino stalked over to him and plucked the brush from his hand. "I said, stop! Why aren't you listening to me?!"
"But Ino-san, he—"
"I don't give a damn," she hissed as she snapped the brush in two. She turned to Sasuke, and he stepped back unconsciously. "And you! You need to learn some manners! When a lady is standing in front of you, don't go around waving your sword casually! Jeez, honestly, you guys are getting on my nerves!" Ino huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
The two men exchanged glances. Then, Sasuke proceeded to sheathe his sword, while Sai returned the scroll and ink bottle to his pack. They jogged to where Ino stood and bowed, arms stiff at their sides.
"Forgive me," Sasuke said, peering up to meet her eyes. "I acted rashly, but I swear that I would never do anything to harm you. You are precious to me and—"
"I apologize, Ino-san," Sai cut in, bowing even lower, "My only wish was to protect you from this traitor, but if my actions have displeased you, I shall accept whatever punishment you deem fit."
Sasuke clenched his fists in irritation but did not act on it. Instead, he got down on one knee and sought Ino's hand. "My heart and my sword are yours, and I swear, on my family's name, to protect you for as long as I can, for as long as I live."
"Sa-Sasuke-kun," Ino mumbled, her eyes wide. She could not believe her ears. That the cool and handsome Sasuke, whose sole objective was to avenge his clan's death, would swear on his family's name to protect her was a big deal.
He looked up at her then and smiled, and the sight of it sent her heart beating wildly. She heard a sob behind her, and she realized, with some embarrassment, that her father was crying, muttering something about being proud of her match.
Still, Sasuke was gazing at her like she was the world to him, and that was all that mattered in that moment.
Sai, however, was not to be outdone. In a flurry of ink and strokes, he produced a bouquet from his scroll and presented it to her.
"Forgive me for I am not well-versed in the language of flowers," he explained. "But I wish to offer you these roses as a symbol of my undying devotion to you. I have no family, and I may have nothing in my name, but I can promise you one thing: my loyalty." He sneaked a glance at Sasuke, who growled dangerously. "I will never desert you, Ino-san, and I will never betray your trust, unlike some people who—"
"Okay, that does it," Sasuke rasped, grabbing the other man by the collar roughly. "I'm sick and tired of your insinuations—"
"Feeling guilty, Uchiha?" Sai spat out, looking down at him with undisguised hate. "You abandoned Ino-san and this village years ago. You hurt her feelings. You clearly do not deserve her."
"Ha! And why do you think she likes you?" Sasuke said, leering. "Because you remind her of me. I was here before you. She was my woman before you ever came into the picture."
Sai's eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"
"I know you heard me the first time, but if you insist, I said, she likes you because you—"
Sasuke staggered back with a howl of pain, clutching at his abdomen where Sai had kicked him. "You bastard..!"
Sai brushed his collar off of invisible dust and glared at his opponent. "You are incorrect. She likes me for who I am and not for the reason you just stated."
"Oh, Kami," Ino muttered, clapping a hand to her head as they began to bicker again. She had not considered the possibility of them literally fighting for her hand, and though it sounded romantic in theory, the reality, for what it was worth, was less enticing.
She turned to look at her father for help, but her old man was gone, probably off drinking with his buddies or something. She fumed. Was this not important to him?
"This day could not get any worse."
"Eh, what's all this troublesome noise about?"
Ino gave a start. She could recognize that lazy drawl from anywhere. But what was he doing appearing in her perfect, little dream world? If this really was the place where her deepest desires manifest themselves, wasn't it supposed to be free of lazy bums? She swiveled on her heels to face him, not even bothering to keep her annoyance in check.
A couple of beats later, Shikamaru rounded the corner, hands stuffed in his pockets. He paused in front of the group, eyebrows raised.
"Ah."
Sai and Sasuke stopped arguing long enough to look at the newcomer. When they saw who it was, they nodded in his direction and resumed where they left off. Shikamaru smirked as he listened to the insults they hurled at each other. He turned to Ino and gestured at the two men.
"An argument over you?"
She could practically hear the disbelief in his tone. Incensed, she stomped over to him, fists clenched at her sides, ready to sock him in the jaw. Shikamaru didn't flinch or back away, as was his usual tactic, from her advance, however. Instead, he regarded her with mild amusement.
"Yeah, got a problem with that?" Ino snapped. "Why are you even here?!"
"Is it a crime now to walk around Konoha?" Shikamaru asked, rolling his eyes. "Besides, why are you hanging around these losers?"
Her eye twitched. "Losers?" she repeated, trembling. Sure, the situation didn't turn out as well as she hoped it would, but he had no right to call them such a crude name. "Sai and Sasuke are not losers, you—"
In one deft movement, Shikamaru looped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Ino's eyes widened at his boldness. She tried to wriggle free, but his grip was firm and unyielding. He bent his head low, his warm breath tickling her neck.
"Why don't we get out of here, just the two of us?" he whispered into her ear. "We could, you know, go someplace… private."
In spite of herself, Ino felt her face growing hot. Shikamaru was too close for comfort, and though he reeked of cigarettes, there was something comforting and attractive about his scent. The sultry manner in which he spoke and his half-lidded eyes were not helping either.
She blinked. What was wrong with her?! The two greatest loves of her life were standing just a few feet behind her, so why was she so preoccupied with smelling another guy's shirt?! Ino brought her hands up, intending to push him off, but was, instead, surprised at how toned his chest was. He looked down at her then and gave her a lopsided smile, and she felt her insides squirm in pleasure, even as she tried to keep herself from feeling such emotions for him.
"I-I can't," she stammered, her cheeks burning. "Wh-why would I go with you, anyway? Seems a little sudden, if you ask me."
Shikamaru looked at her, slightly confused. "Not really," he said, frowning. "Didn't you tell them yet?"
"Huh?" Now she was confused. "Tell them what?"
He smirked and patted her cheek affectionately. "Oh, Ino, how could you forget?"
Shikamaru placed his hands on her shoulders and swiveled her around to face her suitors. Sai and Sasuke were still arguing, shoving each other back in turn. She groaned at their ridiculous, childish display, but at least they weren't actively trying to kill each other anymore.
"Hey, you," Shikamaru drawled, snapping his fingers for attention, "There's something you need to know."
Both men paused, fists balled around the other's shirts. They regarded Shikamaru with disinterest, much more eager to pummel the shit out of each other than listen to what the lazy shinobi had to say. But he was holding Ino close to himself and that much warranted their scrutiny. Reluctantly, they loosened their hold on each other and glared at the newcomer.
"Now that I have your attention, I would just like to say that Ino," Shikamaru said as he wrapped one arm around her front, "is my woman, so both of you need to back off."
Ino's eyes widened. Did she hear that right? She looked up at her teammate for confirmation, and she saw that he had an arrogant expression on his face. It was not something she had seen him wear before, and she found it both unnerving and intriguing to see him this way.
"Release her, you bastard," Sasuke growled, leveling his sword at Shikamaru. "You have no right to touch her like that."
"Not when you've ignored Ino-san for so long," Sai added as he unfurled a larger scroll, eyes narrowed. "What makes you think she'll like you after you've been so cold to her?"
"Well, look who's talking," Shikamaru sneered. "I can't believe I'm hearing about this from a perpetual brooder and an emotionless guy."
Ino sighed. Great, now there were three men fighting for her hand, with the third one just appearing out of the blue. She could no longer understand why anyone would call this a dream world. She was getting more than she bargained for and not in a good way.
Shikamaru's presence, in particular, was a mystery to her. She was not fond of him in the way that she was fond of Sasuke or Sai. In fact, fondness was out of the question. She hated his lazy ass, and she was pretty sure he hated her loud mouth too.
Still, if he was around, then he must have something to do with her… deepest desires? Which were what, exactly? How does he figure into her life and dreams? And why was he being so arrogant and forward? Did she secretly want him to be so? Why did her perfect world have to be so complicated?!
Sometime during her musings, Sai had managed to summon six ink tigers, while Sasuke's eyes were glowing red again, his gaze steely and just a tad murderous. Shikamaru, however, was taking it all in stride, smirking at them like their techniques meant nothing to him.
His hold around her waist tightened. "Give up now, because I'm not letting you touch Ino."
"We'll see about that!"
Sasuke rushed towards them, sword-first. Sai's tigers were not far behind, claws and fangs sharp and at the ready. Shikamaru released her and stepped forward. He crouched, determination in his eyes, and performed the requisite hand seals.
"Shadow Sewing Technique!"
Ino watched in rapt fascination (and terror) as sharp, black tendrils rose up from the ground and enveloped the attackers. Sasuke was quickly subdued, his arms and legs caught in the Nara Clan's hidden technique. He gritted his teeth and struggled against his bindings, as his eyes reverted to their normal hue.
Meanwhile, Sai stood wide-eyed as his tigers were pierced in mid-air, ink raining down from the sky. The shadows came for him next, curling around his limbs effortlessly.
"Hmph," Shikamaru gloated, tilting his chin upward. "This is way too easy."
Ino agreed. It was way too easy. When did he get so powerful? She looked between the three men in turns, puzzled by the result of the "fight." For all intents and purposes, Sasuke should have had the advantage. The Uchiha would have made quick work of the two as well, owing to his eye technique and extensive training under a Sannin.
But for Shikamaru to defeat him so easily… What did it mean?
"Sorry, guys, but I'll have to knock you out now."
The lazy drawl jolted Ino back to reality. She was greeted to the sight of shadowy hands slowly making their way towards Sai's and Sasuke's necks. She gasped, eyes wide, and lunged for Shikamaru, tackling him to the ground.
"What the hell are you doing?!" she screamed as she pressed him roughly to the ground. "Are you trying to kill them?"
"They were trying to kill me," he reasoned.
"I can't believe you would do this," Ino said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Kami, what is wrong with you people?"
"I'm doing this for you," he said, laying a hand on her arm. She shook him off. He tried again, "Ino, they were trying to take you away from me. I can't let that happen."
"From you?" she scoffed, glaring. "I was never yours, and I don't belong to either one of you either," she yelled, turning to Sai and Sasuke. "Do I not get a say in this at all?! I am not a prize to be won, so stop fighting!"
For the first time since she arrived in the dream world, the men around her were silent. Sai and Sasuke, both still trying to catch their breaths, were not looking at her but at the ground. They looked embarrassed, at least, which was something she could not say about the man she had pinned beneath her. He was staring up at her intently, a devilish smirk on his lips.
"Don't make me wipe that smug smile off your face," Ino spat out, annoyed. She would give anything in the world to get him to frown again. Bland, lazy, stoic Shikamaru was better than arrogant, forward, powerful Shikamaru, she decided.
"What can I say, I like girls who can stand up for themselves," he replied, still grinning. "What do you say we—"
"Oh, bite me," she snapped, standing up. She dusted herself off and turned to leave. She needed a drink, preferably a stiff one. Their ridiculous machismo was, well, ridiculous. She could not take any more of it. Was this really what her mind dreamed up for her? It was like a twelve year old girl's fantasy, and she had not been twelve in four years. She liked to believe that she had matured. Apparently, that was not the case.
But before she could take a step forward, someone grabbed her arm and yanked her back. Miffed, Ino growled, but Shikamaru was not ready to let her go just yet. He pressed her to his chest, cupping her face with one hand while the other stayed at the small of her back.
"Bite you?" he asked, a strange look on his face. "Gladly."
He dipped his head towards her and, before she could protest, kissed her.
She heard sharp intakes of breath from somewhere to her right, but Sai and Sasuke's reactions did not especially matter to her just then.
It was over in an instant, but Ino felt lightheaded all the same. It was such a sweet, romantic kiss, one that caused her resolve to weaken and legs to wobble slightly. She could not believe that Shikamaru, of all people, was capable of being gentle, and Ino wondered briefly if the real one could kiss just as well as the fake one before her.
Shikamaru looked down at her, and she blushed, anger somewhat dissipated. There was one positive thing about this version, after all, even if he was such an ass most of the time, and she'd be damned if she didn't take advantage of it. He tucked a loose lock of blonde hair behind her ear and lowered his lips to hers again.
This time, she was ready. Eyes closed and lips slightly parted, Ino met him half-way and kissed him back. She was not entirely sure why, just that the moment felt right somehow. She was still mad at him, but the warmth of his breath and the way his tongue slid over her lips teasingly, hungrily, was making her forget why.
She chalked it up to the genjutsu's effect, because, honestly, why would she make out with her teammate when Sai and Sasuke were standing a few feet away? The word "attraction" flitted through her mind, but she chose to ignore it.
Ino tilted her head to give him better access, lacing her fingers behind his neck as she did so. She could feel his hands, calloused from training and fighting, running across her back, and it sent delicious shivers down her spine whenever they touched bare skin.
It was so easy to get lost, to believe that it was all real.
When they pulled away, breathless and flushed, Shikamaru had a maddening smirk on his face. Her irritation resurfaced.
"Don't flatter yourself, Shikamaru," Ino snapped, brows furrowed. "And you should know I'm still mad at you!"
He shrugged. "I don't know, but your lips said otherwise."
"Shut up," she yelled, grabbing his shirt. "You don't even know half of it."
"No, but I'm glad you enjoy this," he answered, tracing her jawline with his finger. Her breath hitched in her throat and he chuckled. She glared at him.
"Like I said, don't flatter yourself," Ino huffed, tightening her grip. "You're lucky I even let you."
"Believe me, I know," Shikamaru drawled. "Now, what do you say we—"
"How many times do I have to say no before you learn your lesson?" she shrilled, knuckles white. "Ugh, I hate you so much."
"I love you too," he said, lips quirked.
Rolling her eyes, she muttered, "Sakura, you better be using your large forehead to break this genjutsu because this Shikamaru is utter shit."
"What?"
"Nothing," Ino snapped, pulling him closer. "Now, kiss me!"
A smirk, then, "Yes, ma'am."
Shikamaru did not know what Ino's problem was. For the past hour, ever since the remaining members of the Shinobi Alliance started the trek back to camp, she had been glancing at him surreptitiously with a mixture of irritation, disgust, and, weirdly enough, want.
He sincerely hoped Chouji wasn't noticing anything out of the ordinary, though, because, frankly, it was getting embarrassing.
In an effort to make her stop, he glared back at her. Her face reddened considerably and she turned away, cheeks puffed.
Not for long, though, because he was feeling her intense gaze boring into his back again.
Shikamaru sighed. In his dreams and in reality, she was such a troublesome woman.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! This was just something that popped in my head the other day. I hope someone gets the idea behind the title, though. Anyway, reviews are, as always, appreciated. Let me know what you think, and if you have prompts/requests, send them in as well.