PSManiac: Hey guys! Welcome to the sixteenth chapter. You are about to witness Crash and Cortex take on Wolfgang and his monstrous
Psychedroid. I only own the stuff I created myself. Thanks to all who suggested. Enjoy!
Chapter Sixteen: Bandicoot Ball Q
Wolfgang smiled evilly.
"You two dimwits honestly think that you can defeat me?" he asked, "I think not."
The Psychedroid opened its mouth, and a beam of energy erupted from its jaws. Crash and Cortex ducked down to avoid the blast.
"I am stronger."
Crash and Cortex leapt out of the way of the robot's missiles.
"I am more intelligent."
The Psychedroid threw a spinning disk of energy, which our heroes ducked under.
"I am more powerful than you can possibly imagine!"
Crash and Cortex hid behind a stack of barrels.
"This Psychedroid is too powerful," Cortex whispered, "We have to find a weakness. Crash, if we don't make it through this, I want you to
know that I… I really hate you."
Crash crossed his arms and grumbled.
"So, you got any ideas?"
Crash looked at the barrels and realized that they were barrels of grease. Crash pushed one of the barrels over, spilling its contents onto the
floor. The bandicoot stood on the fallen barrel, gaining the attention of Wolfgang. Crash grinned and stuck his tongue out at the general.
"You little insect!" Wolfang roared as the Psychedroid charged towards Crash. Crash leapt out of the way, and the robot slipped on the grease
and crashed into a wall.
Cortex watched these events unfold.
"I have to help him," he told himself, "But how? Think, Cortex! Think!"
He looked around desperately, trying to find something to battle that robot with. He looked at a flower pot, a balloon animal, and a fully
functional machine gun.
"Hey, ugly!" Cortex screamed as he smashed the flower pot against the leg of the mechanical monstrosity. The Psychedroid wasn't fazed by
the flower pot, but it heard Cortex's outburst. It turned to Cortex, snarling angrily. Cortex whimpered in fear, and then he looked at the
remaining shard of the flower pot in his clutches. He did what came to mind first, he wet himself. Then he did what came to mind next, stuck the
shard onto the robots eye. Shards of glass flew everywhere as the Psychedroid stood up on two legs and roared in pain. Wolfgang fell to the
floor.
"You will pay for that, vermin!" he roared. Something tapped on the wolf's shoulder, and he turned around. Standing there was Crash, smiling
triumphantly as he punched Wolfgang in the face. Wolfgang fell back, clutching his snout.
"Psychedroid!" Wolfgang called, "Return to your master!"
The Psychedroid obediently returned to Wolfgang, and the villain leapt onto the creature's back.
"You two vermin of lower species will perish for your insolence," he said.
Suddenly, the machines around them began to shoot sparks and explode.
"It's that plant guy's virus!" Wolfgang yelled.
The force field around Crash and Cortex's minions dissipated and they returned to their respective leaders. An evil, venomous laugh rang
through the air.
"I see that Wolfgang's dependency on technology has backfired on him," said the voice of a certain evil botanist. N. Tangle appeared on a
walkway overlooking the room.
"N. Tangle!" everyone called in unison, causing massive damage to the machines.
N. Tangle laughed and said, "Yes, it's me, the big bad villain of the story. So, Wolfgang, have you been enjoying the, um, side effects of my
computer virus?"
"Side effects?" Wolfgang asked, "What do you mean by side effects?
"Well, let's just say that the Zerolith is about to become a lot more… how should I put this? Ah, yes… greener."
Large vines sprang forth from the machines. The technology became covered in flowers and leaves and wood."
"This is one of the many supernatural powers of the Ianthinus auctus," N. Tangle explained, "The ability to transform anything into a plant, even
machines."
N. Tangle looked at Wolfgang and said, "And you are the next one to become a part of nature's greatest kingdom."
Vines shot forward and grabbed both Wolfgang and the Psychedroid.
"You could have stopped all of this," N. Tangle whispered to Wolfgang, "All you had to do was not threaten my family."
Wolfgang's eye widened in realization of who N. Tangle was in his past. N. Tangle chuckled evilly as Wolfgang and the Psychedroid became
wrapped in a cocoon of wood and vines.
"Ladies and gentlemen," N. Tangle called, "Boys and girls! Gather around for the unveiling of the answer to the ultimate question. What do you
get when you combine together a wolf, a robot, and a Wood Drifter? I bring to you the answer, the Wolf Drifter!"
The cocoon exploded, and in its place was a huge plant monster. It had a wolf-like torso and its legs were the four Psychetron arms, untouched
by the supernatural powers of the Ianthinus auctus. Its glowing yellow eyes stared down at the heroes and the creature roared.
"Now, my wooden friend," N. Tangle said, "Attack!"
The Wolf Drifter charged at our heroes, who leapt out of the way of its path of destruction. Cortex blasted the creature's back. It roared in pain
and swiped Cortex away. Cortex crashed against a wall.
"Did anyone catch the number of that giant, plant monster?" he asked dizzily.
Uka Uka torched the monster with a fireball. The creature lit up like the Fourth of July.
"Take that, wood face!" Uka Uka taunted.
"That's great," Crunch said, "But now we have a giant, plant monster on fire!"
"Oh," Uka Uka said, "I guess I really didn't think that plan through… I blame Cortex!"
Cortex got fried by Uka Uka.
"Wahoo!" Billy Bob cheered, "It's barbeque time!"
Billy Bob threw several hamburgers up into the air, and all of them landed on the grass-covered floor. The Wolf Drifter slipped on one and into a
wall. Billy Bob picked up the slipped-on patty and ate.
"Just like how ma used to make 'em," he said, "Fallen on the floor n' slipped on by a flamin' monster. Yum!"
Tropy turned slightly green, or in his case, turquoise, and puked in a nearby trash can. Many vines emerged from the creature's back and
grabbed the heroes. They struggled to get free, but the struggling prove futile.
"Now you shall feel the true power of plants," N. Tangle said, "Finish them!"
Crash became free the only way he knew how, by spinning. The vine holding Crash was disintegrated by the bandicoot's spin. Crash fell and
landed safely on the ground. The Wolf Drifter roared in pain. Crash ran up to the monster and kicked it in the face. It fell back and released the
heroes.
"Your actions shall make your destruction seven times more painful!" N. Tangled yelled.
The creature was stunned, giving everyone a chance to attack. This barrage of attacks was too much for the Wolf Drifter, and it exploded. All
that was left was the Psychetron arms and a black power crystal.
"Your fighting skills are most impressive," N. Tangle said.
"Give it up," Cortex ordered, "We know the right way of kicking evil's butt. I should know, I am usually the one whose butt is getting kicked."
"Don't count your pears before they ripen, Cortex," N. Tangle said, "With my powers over plants, the Psychetron arms, and my black power
gem, I shall have my vengeance. If I can't destroy all of you, then your world will have to suffer for your ignorance."
In a flash of light, N. Tangle and the Psychetron arms were gone. The entire base began to shake and rumble.
"This place is going to crumble down any minute!" Aku Aku exclaimed, "We must get out of here!"
They ran back to the jeep.
"Aw, gosh," Billy Bob said, "I forgot that the jeep's all broken n' stuff."
Crash held out the black power crystal, and in an instant the jeep was repaired.
"Oh," Billy Bob said, "Never mind."
They hopped into the jeep and it took off out of the Zerolith. Our heroes watched as the Zerolith was crushed by plants and imploded.
Suddenly, the jeep began to shake violently.
"What going on?" Coco asked.
"I'm going to throw up!" Cortex screamed.
"I don't know!" Billy Bob screamed.
"What do we do now?" Nina asked.
"I suggest that we scream!" Tropy screamed.
And so they did.
Crash groggily opened his eyes and lifted his face from the sand. He spat out a very disgruntled crab, which pinched Crash's nose, and looked
around and saw the others stand up around him. The jeep was a smoldering crater a couple feet away from them.
"We have been in a whole bunch of crashes lately," Cortex pointed out.
"Where are we?" Crunch asked.
N. Gin pointed and yelled, "Look, it's Skull Rock! We're back home!"
Indeed, they were back home. Looming above them was skull rock, spewing out a waterfall from its mouth. They jungles surrounded the
mountain skull rock sat upon. The Great Gate rose from the jungle. Behind our heroes was the ocean. Cortex's Iceberg Lair can be seen on the
horizon. Crash looked to the sky, only to see it dotted with many floating islands.
"The Earth," Cortex's said, now noticing the islands, "It must have somehow been teleported to the 0th Dimension."
"Oh really, what was your first clue?" A voice asked.
The bandicoots looked behind them and saw N. Tangle. Floating above him was a black power gem, and the Psychetron arms were spinning
around it.
"Well, isn't this a treat?" N. Tangle asked, "I'll get to destroy you and your world at the same time!"
N. Tangle turned towards the audience and said, "Next time on Crash: Multiverse Mishap, there are only two chapters left in this tory, and
then it is on to the final installment of 0th Trilogy Trouble! The Bandicoots, and N- Team will get to fight my, the all-powerful, not to mention
devilishly handsome, Doctor Nepenthes Tangle! Who will win? You'll have to wait to find out! Wait until Chapter Seventeen: Revenge of the
Pollen!"
"Who is he talking to?" Tropy asked.
"I have no idea," Cortex answered.
PSManiac: Read and review, or I'll say N. Tangle's name! Oops…