Chapter 6

Iris found herself lying on a soft surface with her eyes closed. She was back in bed. Her head felt fuzzy, and she hoped that she had woken up from a horrible dream. As she stirred, she heard a voice whisper, "Hey, she's waking up!"

She blearily opened her eyes. Once her vision focused, she quickly recognized the ceiling of the infirmary. The worried faces of Rocinolle, Aigel, Alouette, and Lumen hovered above her.

"Riss! You're alright!" cried Aigel.

"Wha… What happened to me?" asked Iris.

A short silence ensued as the women exchanged apprehensive glances. Finally, Lumen spoke up. "You…didn't take Ciel's news very well. Right after she said it, you passed out. With Alouette still on top of you, no less."

"Aaah! Alouette, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Iris cried.

"I'm fine. You fell down face-first, so I didn't get hurt at all," said Alouette. "I was more worried about you, because you wouldn't wake up."

"You should've seen it, Riss!" exclaimed Lumen. "After you fell, Zero jumped over the whole crowd to check on you and Alouette! Everyone was so shocked that they all stopped talking and stared. Once Zero determined Alouette was okay, he picked you up and asked where the infirmary was. I was still a little stunned, but I showed him the way. After that, Rocinolle took you and determined there was nothing major wrong, so she put you in one of the beds to rest and sent Zero away. And well, here we are."

Rocinolle nodded affirmatively. "Diagnostics show that your systems underwent an emergency shutdown due to an overload in your neural circuits. In layman's terms, the shock was too much for you to handle."

"Shock? You mean…" Iris felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She hadn't been dreaming after all. Her throat constricted painfully, and her eyes began to burn. "Th-then they're…they're really gone," she croaked.

"I'm afraid so," Rocinolle said grimly.

"M-Milan…and P-Passy, too. Wh-why did they have to die?!" Iris cried.

"Iris. Every one of those soldiers knew going into that mission that they may not come back alive," said Rocinolle. "They were more than willing to give up their lives in order to save the rest of us. Passy, too. She willingly used her power to revive Zero, which ended up saving Dr. Ciel's life. And Milan fought to protect Ciel up to the very end. It was the noblest thing they could have done."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Iris screamed. "It won't b-bring anyone back! Th-they're all g-gone… Gone… GONE!"

Iris's words dissolved into uncontrollable sobs. She buried her face into her hands, and her whole body shook with the force of her crying. She vaguely felt Aigel and Rocinolle rub her back soothingly, but they did nothing to relieve the crushing weight that seemed to have settled over her shoulders.

"Riss," Aigel murmured. "We know this is really tough for you, mate. Just remember we're here for you whenever you need us."

Iris managed a shaky nod in between her sobs.

"And don't worry about your shift," added Rocinolle. "I refuse to allow a medic to work if he or she is no shape to do so. Take as much time off as you need."

Another shaky nod.

"Iris, I want to do anything I can to help you feel better," said Alouette. "You tried to cheer me up today, so I want to help you, too. If you want, you can have Kitty for a while. Kitty always makes me feel better when I'm sad."

If Iris hadn't already been overwhelmed by grief, Alouette's offer would have stunned her. "Kitty" was what Alouette called her cat plush, and it was her favorite toy. The plush had been a gift from Ciel and Alouette was seldom seen without it. In her current state, however, all Iris could do was hiccup and accept the toy, which she immediately clutched like a lifeline.

"Just promise you'll give her back!" Alouette warned. Iris sniffled and nodded in response.

"Poor kid," muttered Lumen. "Looks like the roles have been reversed."

"Iris's mind has not yet fully matured," explained Rocinolle. "There is only so much that can be preprogrammed into a Reploid. Some things in life have to be learned through experience. It is one thing to hear about others dying. It is another thing altogether to experience the loss of someone close to you."

"That's very true," said Aigel. "Most of us have seen death all our lives, so we've gotten kinda used to it. Riss, though… She's as pure as mountain snow. I can't imagine how she feels right now."

Iris, whose sobs had quieted somewhat, finally managed a few words. "M-may I…"

"What is it, Iris?" asked Rocinolle.

"May I go t-to my room?"

Aigel scratched her head thoughtfully. "Well, I s'pose ya could, considering that there's nothing else physically wrong with you. But are you sure you feel well enough to do that?"

Iris nodded. "I just w-want to be alone for a wh-while."

"Riss―"

"That m-means you too, Lumen. P-please."

"Alright then," Rocinolle said after a short pause. "You are free to go. This may be an infirmary, but I am afraid this is one wound I cannot mend."

"Th-thank you," mumbled Iris. She slid off the bed and trudged out of the infirmary, still clutching Alouette's doll to her chest. The heavy weight over her shoulders only seemed to increase, threatening to push her to the ground. Her movements were guided by muscle memory, as her mind was occupied with something more important.

Milan.

She held the plushie tighter as a fresh round of sobs threatened to burst from her chest. Part of her still didn't want to believe he was really gone. Yet she had seen with her own eyes that he did not return, and Ciel would never lie about something so grave.

"Hey."

There was also the matter of Passy. Iris hadn't been especially close with the Cyber Elf, but she had been one of the few people in the Resistance base that she regularly interacted with. Ciel's lab was going to be so quiet without Passy around. Iris already missed the elf's constant scolding of Ciel.

"Hey!"

She didn't know what she was going to do. Rocinolle had said she could have as much time off as she needed, but she knew she couldn't just go back to her routine like nothing had happened. She couldn't just forget that Milan, Passy, and so many others had lost their lives. Already, it seemed like she had forgotten how to smile.

"HEY!"

Iris screamed when someone grabbed her shoulder. She tried to bolt out of instinct, but her assailant was quicker and snatched her wrist before she could move more than a foot.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you," the person said. The voice was male and didn't seem threatening, so Iris reluctantly turned around to see its owner. For some reason, she was not all that surprised to see it was Zero.

"What do you want?" she asked tersely.

"When someone greets you, you're supposed to acknowledge them," Zero replied.

"What kind of greeting was that?! You scared the life out of me!"

"Only because you were ignoring me."

"What are you―" Iris paused, remembered that his voice had been buzzing in her ears while she was busy brooding, and scoffed. "Never mind. Now, will you let me go? I have somewhere that I need to be."

Zero seemed to consider her words before releasing her. In doing so, his fingers brushed hers for an instant. During the brief contact, a surge of electricity raced up Iris's arm, causing her to snatch her hand away and clutch it against her chest. Zero gave her a questioning look, to which replied, "Static," even though she knew that was a lie. If she had scraped her feet against a carpet for an hour she could not have experienced a shock like that. She wondered what in the world could have caused such a thing.

"I just wanted to see if you were all right," said Zero.

"I am. Now, leave me alone," Iris growled as she turned to leave. "I'm sure you have more important things to do, Mr. Legendary Hero."

She was surprised at how easily the biting sarcasm came to her lips. This was not like her at all, but her urge to be alone overpowered her usual polite mannerisms.

"You don't look all right," said Zero.

Iris gnashed her teeth. "Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly. Alright then, I'll repeat myself nice and slow just for you. Leave. Me. Alone."

"I heard you just fine. Doesn't mean I have to listen."

Her eye twitched and her fingers flexed in irritation. Even Lumen had never tried her patience like this. With a great amount of effort, she reeled in the urge to yell at Zero, but her voice still quavered dangerously. "You're awfully persistent. Are you sure you have nothing better to do besides pester me?"

"Actually, yes," said Zero. "I never asked for your name."

"Don't be stupid," Iris growled as she whirled around to face him. "I'm sure you heard my name from Rocinolle, Lumen, or Alouette while I was unconscious."

"I want to hear it from you."

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone?"

"You're not in a position to make a bargain."

"Alright, fine!" Iris snapped. "If you want to hear it that badly, my name is Iris. There. Happy?"

Zero looked distant. "Iris? I feel like I've heard that name before."

"Now you're really being stupid," Iris said, shaking her head. "I've only been activated for about a month, now. Whoever you're thinking of is clearly someone different."

Zero appeared to ponder the issue for a moment longer before speaking. "My name is Zero. Or at least, that's what Ciel told me."

Iris scoffed. "Yeah, I already knew that― Wait a minute, what? You mean you're not sure what your name is?!"

"I can't remember anything prior to waking up in that lab."

"Ugh, so you're an amnesiac," Iris groaned while massaging her temples. "That's just perfect. At least that explains why you can't take a hint."

"Is it wrong to be concerned when someone won't respond when addressed?"

"Yes, if they specifically request to be left alone! I mean, don't you even know how to… Hold on. Zero, where did you get that?"

"Get what?".

"That Buster Shot."

"Why do you ask?"

"Because Cerveau makes all of the Resistance's weapons himself, and I know he hasn't had the time today to make you one."

Zero frowned. "I didn't steal it, if that's what you're thinking. I found it next to a Reploid's corpse right after I woke up."

Iris's core froze. Part of her was terrified to ask the next question on her mind, but she just had to know the answer. "What… What did they look like?"

"I didn't take too much notice because Ciel and I were under attack," Zero admitted. "But he was definitely a Resistance soldier, based on his clothing. And he was wearing a visor, if I recall correctly."

Iris felt as if the world crashed all around her. At first, all she could feel was the same numb shock from when she first heard of Milan's death. Then, something hot and powerful bubbled up inside her. The feeling rapidly filled her whole body, and she began to tremble uncontrollably.

"You…" she hissed.

"Iris?"

Something inside her snapped. The next thing she knew, she heard a loud smack and her right hand smarted from impacting something hard. The red handprint on Zero's stunned face explained what had happened.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" she cried. "If it weren't for you and your stupid stasis, Milan and Passy would still be alive! And worse yet, you had the gall to loot Milan's corpse! You disgust me! I never want to see your face again!"

She bolted towards her room, trying and failing to hold back tears. Zero must have been too stunned to react, because he did not follow her. Once she reached her room, she locked the door behind her and collapsed onto her bed, sobbing loudly. She cried and cried until she became too tired to cry anymore. At that point, she was reduced to occasional sniffling and trembling. She slowly brought Alouette's doll up to her face and stared at it. The plushie stared back, its huge smile never ceasing.

"You're lucky, Kitty," Iris mumbled, her mind too much of a mess to care that she was addressing an inanimate object. "You never feel hardship or pain, and no matter what happens, you never stop smiling."

Predictably, the doll remained silent.

"That voice was right. Zero is nothing but trouble," moaned Iris. "Oh wait, you wouldn't know about the dream voice, would you, Kitty? It says it's my conscience, but it only spoke with me once, when I was asleep. It told me to avoid Zero. Now I know why."

"What happened?" Iris asked in a higher pitched voice in order to fill in Kitty's speech.

"He can't take no for an answer and he has no respect for the dead."

"He sounds like a real meanie!"

"He is. I just hope I never have to deal with him again." Iris paused. "Thanks for hearing me out, Kitty. It's nice to be able to talk to someone who says exactly what you want to hear."

"No problem!" Iris chirped in her Kitty voice. "I'm always here for you, Iris!"

She tucked the plush close to her body and closed her eyes, soon falling into the darkness of slumber. She only awoke the next morning, when she heard a tapping at her door.

"Riss? C'mon kid, open up!"

Iris moaned and covered her head with her pillow.

"Dang it, Riss, I knew you would do this! Open this door or I swear I'm gonna get someone to break it down!"

"Go away, Lumen," Iris grumbled.

"You can't lock yourself in your room forever!" yelled Lumen. "You've got to eat at some point!"

"I'm fine," Iris insisted. "Now, go away."

Lumen's frustrated growl was audible even through the steel door. "All right, you leave me no choice."

Iris heard nothing after that, so she assumed Lumen was following through on her threat to break the door down. However, Iris knew it would be useless. The door was sturdy and resistant to both physical and energy-based impacts. No one in the Resistance would be able to break it down without a lot of time and patience. She settled more comfortably in her bed, taking pleasure in the fact that she had Lumen beat.

Minutes later, she heard a loud noise from her door. She paid it no mind, but it soon turned into a grating sound that went on continuously. When it finally ceased, it was immediately followed by a thud that shook the ground. She sat up in bed and looked towards her door to see what had happened.

Her jaw dropped in disbelief. A large doorway-shaped hole had been cut through where her door used to be. The door itself was now a giant metal doormat inside her room. Zero stood in the new doorway with a bored expression, holding a green energy saber in his right hand. Lumen zoomed in through the opening and grinned smugly at Iris.

"Told you I would get someone to break it down," she said.

Iris opened and closed her mouth several times before she found her voice. "You… You made Zero wreck my door?! You both are SO gonna pay for this!"

Zero lazily turned his saber off and sheathed it in one of the holsters on his thighs. "You shouldn't hole yourself up to the point of neglecting your health."

"Shut up!" Iris snapped. "And I specifically said I never wanted to see your face again!"

"Considering I live here now, that's something that's easier said than done," Zero remarked.

"GAH!" roared Iris. "You are such a pain in the butt! Fine, I'll get out of here. But don't you dare think you're gonna get away with this!"

She stormed out the room, making sure she stomped on Zero's foot on her way out. It probably hurt her more than him, but it made her feel a bit better.

"Where are you going?" Zero asked.

"Does it matter?" Iris spat.

"Riss, you gotta calm down!" exclaimed Lumen. "I get that you're mad about the whole door thing, but I was only worried about you!"

"You shut up!" yelled Iris. "All I wanted was some time to myself, and you couldn't even let me have that!"

"But Riss―"

"I don't want to hear it! I made a specific request, and neither of you listened to me. That enrages me more than anything else. Now, if you'll excuse me, Kitty and I are going to ask Cerveau to fix my door."

"Wait."

"What now, Zero?" grated Iris.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I just wanted to say…I'm sorry about Milan. If I had awakened sooner―"

She swatted his hand away. "I don't need your pity. You have no idea what this feels like."

"That's right! Stay away, you meanie!" Iris added in her Kitty voice.

"Thanks Kitty," she said to the doll. "Now, let's go, shall we?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh god, she's completely lost it," Lumen muttered.

Iris ignored the Cyber Elf and scurried away, clutching Kitty to her chest. The doll felt like her only friend now, never mind that she wasn't a real person. At least Kitty listened to her and never said a bad word in return. Iris now understood why Alouette was so attached to the doll. Surely Alouette wouldn't mind if she kept Kitty for a few more days. Right now, Iris needed the plush more than anything. It was the one solid anchor she had in a world of uncertainty.

Aaaand I think I'll cut it off there. All I can say is wow, I've been on a roll. Ever since I rebooted the story I've been hit with the writing fever. Hit a few roadblocks but still got swarmed with new ideas. As you can see from this chapter, Iris has…kind of lost it. And this wouldn't be the first time, either, considering how much she cracked in X4 after Colonel's death. I think this works a lot better than my older ideas when it comes to setting up friction between her and Zero. It ended up pretty angsty, but hopefully the bits of comic relief lightened things up a tad.