Riley didn't remember coming home, she didn't remember how Lucas kept texting her to apologise. She didn't know that Maya ad cried the way home, apologising profusely for not realising how bad her life had become. She never noticed that her Uncle Eric had cancelled his senator business to make sure his nitch was okay. She didn't realise that Auggie never really knew what had happened so when he realised why she had gone away he locked himself in his room. Riley didn't see how her mum had to calm the boys down as they threatened to disembody Lucas. She didn't know that Josh had told everyone the one detail that Riley had never told anyone. Riley had tried to kill herself whilst she was away.

Riley wasn't aware of any of this because she had fallen asleep into sweet sweet oblivion.

When she did wake up however her uncle Josh was sat in her bay window. She pushed herself into sitting position and smiled at him
"Hey Uncle Josh" she said, her voice hoarse. When he didn't reply she decided to try to get up, he jumped into action and pushed her back down.
"You move and I shout for Topanga" he threatened. She lay back down for fear of feeling her mum's wrath.
"It's not like I was when I was with grandma and grandad you know, I'm okay now!" Josh narrowed his eyes at her.
"You are not Riley, if you were the fact that Lucas shouted at you wouldn't have turned you into a withering mess for god's sake I love you but you need to stop running away"

Riley felt her anger flair, why did everyone keep telling her that? She wasn't trying to run away, it just so happened that when she got upset she did.
"Uncle Josh, I know that you think I'm still broken but-"

"Oh no I think you are scared Riley and when you're scared you run because we always told you to run away from danger" she looked at him shocked for a second.
"My friends are not dangerous, they just they can't understand and I don't know how to make them understand!" She breathed in heavily as people began to listen outside. Josh went to hug her but she pushed him away.
"How can I make them understand, they don't know what it's like to feel like you are trapped and the only way you can break free is to make sure you feel something. That you had spent so long faking how happy you were that the colour red proves that you are not a robot. They don't know what it's like to feel humiliated to point where saying your bullies name admitting you have a problem becomes a point of all your troubles" she began to cough. She thought she was fixed but coming home had proved to be harder than she thought.
"You don't get it uncle Josh, I know what I did was stupid and I know people care but in the deep corners of my mind the thing the negative thoughts in my head remind me that I am not worthy to be loved because I mess everyone and everything up. I still don't understand how Farkle loves me, what did he do to love someone who is so messed up in the head that she doesn't think she belongs here" Riley began to hyperventilate and Josh tried to calm her down but to no avail.

When the others rushed in Mrs Matthews rang the ambulance and everyone but Auggie stood back stood back trying to stop Riley being claustrophobic. Auggie ran forward and grabbed Riley's hand, Corey tried to get him to let go but Farkle had joined Auggie on the bed and the effect was immediate, Riley had calmed down and lay backwards. Riley kissed his sister on the forehead.
"Go to sleep big sister" he whispered and Farkle did the same as Auggie.

"It's ok Riles everything will be ok"