A/N: I know the scenes seem repetitive in terms of the setting, but things will change soon. The chapter was supposed to be longer but Bella took the reign and told me to F off.
Let's break the 200 reviews, shall we? ;) :D
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Here's another chapter :)
Big hugs and kisses to my wonderful Beta SarcasticBimbo and evil proof-reader Lotus Wright (hahaa! Love ya!)
As always, Twilight belongs to SM. I just made it sassier :P
Chapter XI: Reconsiderations
"Everyone deserves a chance, don't you think?"
Angela's words reverberate like a bell chime in my mind, filling me with uncertainty and mortification about my behavior with Edward.
"Everyone deserves a chance."
A chance; something I wasn't given while growing up. Everything was decided for me without any consent on my part.
I remember Renee picking up our life in Forks and then dragging me with her wherever her interest that month was. She brought home men to replace Charlie, even though I vehemently refused their overtures and expressed many times that Charlie was and is my only dad. I can't, to this day, understand her scorn towards dad, knowing that he loved her with all his heart. It's as if by leaving Forks, she wanted to leave behind her previous life and, except for me, everything that was associated with it.
But there are certain things that I believe are irreplaceable, like Charlie. He's always been there for birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings, and never once missed the chance celebrate them with me. There were many times when Renee forgot those things, though I don't resent her for it. I just wish she never tried to push Charlie away from us, for whatever personal reasons, that she wouldn't divulge, no matter how many times I asked her.
Sometimes I think that things would have been easier for her if I had never been born. That my birth made it difficult for her to live her life the way she wanted. I know she loves me, but her carelessness hurts. I'm surprised that Phil has kept her interest until now, but I digress.
The important question to ask here is, am I being unfair to Edward by not giving him a chance and treating him just as bad as others have treated me?
The answer is simple: Yes, I have.
His behavior that first day doesn't excuse how I treated him after he apologized. Angela's right, he has been trying to diffuse the tension between us by going out of his way to start things over. Now, I want to meet him halfway and see where this leads us.
I still can't believe he got me that water bottle. I haven't shown it to Charlie yet because I don't feel like going through the Spanish Inquisition. It's still on the table in my room. Every time I look at it I giggle like a moron and remember his soft, mirth-filled eyes, enjoying my laughter. What's also cool about it is that it's not plastic, so I can use it for a long time without fearing for my health and for the environment. It's so thoughtful of him to have considered that.
Get a grip.
Shut up! It's so sweet and funny *sigh*
Oh, God.
I think it's only fair to give Edward a chance. Not only for him but for me, as well.
Well… after I've avenged Bob, of course.
I'd rather not be the bitter reflection of my past. I want to be better and open myself up to different experiences.
I'm lost in my thoughts when the scraping sound of the chair next to mine being pulled out rouses me from my deep ponderings.
I stiffen in my seat, hoping he'll ignore me. After confessing my feelings to Angela, I feel vulnerable because I fear my infatuation will show on my face if he looks at me. I can't bear for him to know how I feel, so much for that trust pep-talk.
Coward!
I start doodling on my sketchbook, hoping my attempts at looking busy will discourage him from conversing.
Besides, he only seems interested in me because I ruffled his mane, so to speak. The first time I saw him he had a bored expression on his face, so maybe my conduct will only temporarily hold his interest.
"Why do you look so sad?" his soothing voice suddenly asks.
Edward has a frown on his face and his mouth is set in a firm line. The expression in his mesmerizing eyes confuses me. He looks, worried? Why would he be worried?
"What?" Is my brilliant response.
He tilts his head to the side and leans in. "You were immersed in deep thought and your eyes looked so sad."
"Why do you care?" I snap back.
His topaz eyes turn sad as he grips me with his stare. Why is he sad?! "I'm truly sorry if you are unhappy."
Shit! I just admitted that I am sad.
"Why do you care?" I ask again, this time whispering. Why am I whispering?
"Why wouldn't I care?" he whispers back.
I scowl at him and he smiles dazzlingly at me, but Mr. Banner, with his untimely (or timely, depends which way you look at it) manner enters class.
"Okay class, today we're going to do pairs lab work. You have 10 minutes to identify the different stages of mitosis, and the first pair to finish win two tickets to the Washington Park Arboretum."
Mr. Banner then distributes the slides while one from each pair of students goes to pick up a microscope. Edward stands up and grabs one, placing it between us.
"Let's begin, partner," he smiles.
We both reach for the microscope and our fingers brush against each other. A cracking spark shoots up my arm and I quickly draw my hand away from his. The crackling tapers off but persists shooting up and down my left arm which causes goosebumps to erupt.
"Sorry," he says in a glum tone.
I shake my head in a vain attempt to get rid of the electricity that's now humming all over my body.
"Don't worry about it," I mutter, not looking at him. I place 'slide 1' on the microscope and peer into the eyepiece.
"Prophase," I state confidently.
"May I?"
"What, you don't trust my judgement?" I retort.
"That's not it. This is supposed to be team work, therefore, I should provide my input as well, don't you think?" he remarks.
Where's my riled up Assward that I know? And who's this calm and collected man?
Huh... well, when he puts it that way.
"You're right."
He looks through the eyepiece and also states 'Prophase.'
"Like I said," I sass.
Edward grins as he replaces the first slide with the second one.
"Has anyone ever told you that you look adorable when you get sassy?" he smiles, looking through the eyepiece for less than a second before stating, "Telophase."
I feel my face getting hot.
Damn it, not again!
"You must have some masochistic tendencies if you enjoy me being mouthy to you."
"May I?" I repeat his question to him.
He slides the microscope to me with a grin. I check and am disappointed to see that he's correct. Damnit!
With the grin still in place, Edward writes down our answers in an elegant script then gives me his signature crooked smile.
"It's not a question of if, Bella. I am a masochist and I absolutely relish your ability to put me in my place," he smirks.
"That sounds like a full time job. I'm not sure I have enough time for that. I have to study, take care of Charlie, sleep… I may have to enlist help. Maybe Jessica can hel-…"
He immediately cuts me off with a growl that makes my heart pound and my toes curl… "No. I only want you."
Holy shitballs! Where's the popcorn?
The mad pounding of my heart suddenly increases at his confession, until I imagine it sounds like a hummingbird's wings.
Instead of replying, I reach for the microscope, feeling Edward's heated gaze on me.
I pick up 'slide 3' and after a moment's inspection say "It's anaphase."
What does he mean when he says he wants me? Does he only imply it in a sexual context, or does he want to be with me in a romantic way?
And why am I even asking if he wants to be romantically involved with me? I'm not even looking for a relationship, let alone a relationship with a guy who is so secretive and infuriating.
This is so confusing! He's confusing.
I wait for him to write the answer down, but he's looking at me as if he wants to devour me.
"Aren't you going to write that down?" I ask quietly.
"I don't give a shit about that at the moment."
"Then what do you give a shit about?" I whisper, with a desperate tone in my voice.
I wait with bated breath for his response.
"You," he states it as a matter of fact.
Well there goes my assumption behind his interest in me.
"You don't know anything about me," I counter. Does he think I'll easily fall for his sweet words? No fucking way.
"False, I know some things about you, and I want to get to know you more," he opens up, his voice calmer now, but still with a slight edge.
"Well, I don't know anything about you." Lies. "Because you evade my questions, like how you- you know, with the van situation," My voice drops to a whisper, not wanting to draw attention.
He sighs at that, writes my answer down, then pulls the microscope towards him. Before picking up the fourth slide, he states with a tone of finality, "There are some things that are better left unanswered, because the truth is sometimes worse than what you imagine it to be."
The warning in his tone frightens me. Is he implying that he's a bad person? Whatever it might be, all I know is that Edward is good to the core. Don't ask me how, I just know it. If he weren't good, he wouldn't have saved me from the van and risked exposing his powers.
So his powers are tied to his nature of being, which means that he's more than human, I assume. But what? His evasiveness and warning tempts me to dig further.
Edward's face turns angry with a hint of sadness as he slides the microscope to me. His expression upsets me. I want to comfort him, but I don't know how. I'm awkward in these types of situation.
Taking the microscope away, I peer through it, not hearing what he said but I'm sure it was correct. "Metaphase," I mutter and he writes the answer down.
I replace the fourth with the final slide. Before peering through it I look Edward straight in the eyes. "Whatever your big secret is, know that it doesn't make you a bad person. I know bad people, and you're not one of them," I don't know why I suddenly blurted out a part of my past, all I know it felt right sharing that with him.
His angry gaze turns to concern. I don't want his sympathy, so I break the electrifying connection that was humming between us and peer through the microscope. "Interphase."
When we finish identifying the slides first I fear that he will start asking questions. Luck, however, is on my side when the second we complete the task Mr. Banner comes to our table and looks through our responses.
"Edward, don't you think Isabella should have had the opportunity to participate?" Mr. Banner asks. What a presumptuous, arrogant dick.
Edward's stare is intense as he addresses a flinching Mr. Banner. "It's Bella. Actually sir, she identified three of the five," his tone polite yet masking anger.
Did he just defend me?
*Swoon* Damn you, you sweet bastard, for making a girl all pansy and shit.
"Well, it's good that you're paired together, then. You can leave class. Just grab your tickets on the way out," he mutters, then moves to another table still talking under his breath.
"I look forward to going to the park with you, Bella," Edward smiles, lighting up his handsome face.
My face feels hot again as I pick up my stuff.
~E&I~
I enter gym class still flushed from my encounter with Edward. I walk in a daze, instead of being aware of my surroundings as I usually am.
I enter the changing room and walk over to my locker to change my clothes. The cloud of happiness that was just enveloping me dissipates when a I hear the familiar voices of Jessica and Lauren whispering loudly together from the section behind mine thinking no one would hear them.
"Oh my God, did you see Edward Cullen talking and smiling at Swan?" Lauren complains.
"Ugh, yeah, I don't get what's so special about her. She's not even that pretty, and there are, like, girls prettier than her, seriously." Jessica spews.
"I know, right? She has a flat, ugly nose, and what's up with her hair? It's all loose and, like, all over the place. Edward probably will screw around with her and leave her for someone worthy." Lauren snubs.
"Ohmygosh, Lau, isn't that, like, racist or something?" Jessica giggles.
"Jess, it's not racist if it's true."
I take a deep breath to calm my anger then slam my locker closed to give those bitches a piece of my mind. I turn around the corner and see those two sitting on one of the benches and then little Alice gliding over to them.
"Hello, Stanley, Mallory," her soprano voice rings out through the locker room, contempt clear in every word she speaks. "I couldn't help but overhear you loudly talking about my friend and my brother. First of all, it's not your place to question the reasoning behind Edward's interest in Bella. I can personally see why though. She's beautiful, smart, sassy, honest and brave, unlike you cowards who don't even have the decency or the guts to say what you were just saying to her directly. Let's face it, even combined, your brain power wouldn't match Bella's. I'm happy that my brother is interested in her. He wants a woman next to him, not some petty childish girls who are clearly so jealous that they need resort to demeaning and racist comments about other people to make themselves feel better!"
Well damn, Pixie mopped the floor with them.
Her words are touching. I didn't know she approved of my apparent "relationship" with Edward. We don't even have a relationship, all we do is fight. It's still comforting to know that she support us and thinks of me as her friend. Which is weird, but nice, considering we've never spoken a word to each other.
The bitch brigade's mouths are agape with shock from Alice Cullen's tirade. Clearly, they've never heard her lash out at anyone before.
Alice has a scary expression on her face after that wonderful tirade. Stanley and Mallory scamper away with their tails tucked between their legs.
I don't need her defending me, but it's sweet to see that some people care. I'm well aware that not everyone is hateful and racist. I know that there are good people whose voices are drowned out by the loud minority. There are other elements to be blamed here, but it seems all we do is blame what we suspect to be true. The true challenge is to react to the situation accordingly, however I fear that having lived in a desensitized bubble would numb us to a point that we wouldn't care to react. Alice's action is like a drop of water piercing through the cracks of indifference.
"Hey, I'm sorry for that," Alice's voice cuts through my thoughts.
I look at her contrite face. "What are you apologizing for? They're the ones who should have the decency to be sorry. I appreciate what you just did, not many people care to interfere," I express.
"I know. It pisses me off that anyone can be so cruel and spiteful. I would hate to think you go through this regularly." she remarks.
I note that she doesn't feel sorry for me, which I am extremely grateful for, because there's nothing worse than someone pitying you.
"After a while you learn to get a thick skin, so I'm not really shocked at their hatred," I explain.
Alice's face turns sad, but just as quickly it brightens up. "Hey, I'm very happy to finally have the chance to meet you! Well, I'm not excited that it happened over this, but I'm still delighted nonetheless!"
Her abrupt change in demeanor is quirky, and that's where her charm lies. I grin at her exuberant manner and hold my hand out. "Nice to meet finally meet you, Alice."
She swats my hand away and gives me a surprisingly crushing hug for such a small girl. Just like her brother, she feels icy cold to the touch and smells nice. Unlike Edward's alluring scent, hers is light and flowery. "Alice, can't breathe," I wheeze.
"Oops!" she giggles. "My bad!" Unwrapping her arms from around me.
I shake my head at her antics. Her cheerfulness is addictive and I find myself smiling along with her.
"Let's get out before Coach Clapp yaks our ears off for being late!" She grabs my hand in a firm grip and drags me out of the locker room.
"Ugh, I can't stand our uniforms! They're so ugly. Who in their right mind would choose pale brown? It totally clashes with my complexion!" she prattles off.
I look at her wearing the brown t-shirt and green shorts and can honestly say she is one of the few people who can pull it off and look as good as she does right now.
"Alice, don't be silly, you actually look good. Heck, you look like a model while the rest of us resemble rotten trees."
Alice's laugh rings like a bell. She truly is beautiful in her own pixie-ish way. "You're a wonderful, fresh breath of air. I can honestly see why Edward likes you."
Edward likes me? Like 'likes me likes me?' God I'm acting like a-
Lovestruck fool?
She must have seen the confusion on my face because Alice pulls me near the back of the room as Coach Clapp tells us about today's activities.
"Listen, Bella, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Edward has never shown interest in anyone before. I've never seen him act so impulsively. He's usually calm and reserved. You're the first person to throw him off to such a degree that he pulled off a prank!" She says all this in a single breath
"Alice, calm down. You might be misreading this."
I really hope not, girl.
"Maybe he's just never had someone outside of his family stand up to him before, hence, his actions."
Okay, Swan, that excuse is getting old. Besides, his sister knows him better than you do, so stop making assumptions!
Alice shakes her head fast. "No, no. I mean, yes, no one outside of his family has stood up to him, but, Bella, every time your name is mentioned or he sees you walk by, his eyes light up. Just think about that if he decides to act on his feelings for you, okay? And please don't ask me what he's feeling, that's for him to tell."
I gaze into Alice's eyes. They're so honest and open that I decide not to question her even though I really want to know what Edward feels for me. I can tell her motives are sincere, but I think she's reading way too much into this.
What I didn't know is, you never bet against Alice Cullen.
Read the A/N folks. I might write important stuff there :) :3
Also keep a lookout for chapter 12 of Looks Bad on Paper by Lotus Wright. And if you haven't read it, what are you waiting for?! GO!