Thank you SarcasticBimbo for spicing up the chapter!
And thank you beloved Lotus Wright for making the chapter more visual ;)
Here you go lovelies, the all-awaited talk.
Chapter XVIII: The Talk
With my mind made up, I grab my phone and dial his number.
The call goes through and after two rings, Edward's deep, soothing voice answers.
"Good evening, Bella."
My breath catches in my throat on hearing his voice.
What do I say now?
How about, "Hey, my dad's friend's psychotic son told all about your secret. He revealed that you're a fang boy who loves to gorge on walking blood bags." Just rip that bitch off like a band-aid.
Do you have a death wish?
Girl, he already knows that we know he's not human, and if he wanted to kill us, he could have already done it.
Fine! Have it your way, then. Oh god, we're going to die.
Melodramatic bitch.
"Iknowwhatyouare!" I say in a single breath.
"Excuse me?" The confusion is clear in his tone.
"I-I know w-what you are," I stammer like an idiot.
The silence on the other side of the line confirms that he has heard my confession.
"I'm not surprised. Your intelligence never fails to astound me," he compliments with a smile in his soft voice.
"Um, what?" That isn't the response I was expecting.
He sighs. "This isn't a conversation we should have over the phone. We should conduct this face-to-face, although, school isn't an ideal place for this conversation, either. We can decide the time and place the next time we see each other."
"Okay. When will I see you again?" I sound eager, even to my own ears.
REALLY? 'When will I see you again?' Why don't you pant at him like a lovestruck fool while you're at it.
Hey, if I want to pant at him, I'll pant! Bitch.
"I will be at school tomorrow. We can sit outside during lunch since the forecast promises that it won't rain," he says with a joking tone.
Huh, I wonder what's funny.
"Ok then, I'll see you tomorrow. And thanks for fixing Bob, it was sweet of you," I cringe.
Why, oh why, did I say 'sweet'?
I can hear the smile in his voice. "You don't have to thank me, Bella, it's the least I could do, considering."
"Yeah, well, thank you. Regardless of the circumstances."
"You're welcome. Although, I do wish the circumstances were different," he says in a sad tone.
My heart beats wildly in my chest. "Me too."
The silence that follows is deafening.
"I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful. Good night."
"Good night, Edward."
I end the call and fall back on my pillow.
"GAH!"
I get up and undress, then get into bed without even bothering to put on PJs.
Within minutes I fall back to sleep.
~E&I~
I wake up in a bitchy mood and notice the dark circles under my eyes when I wash my face.
I tossed and turned in bed throughout the night after reliving the memory of what happened in my dreams.
This blows. Why couldn't he be a normal guy? It's just my luck that the guy I like is a vampire.
Love's blind, girl.
I almost choke on the water bottle.
Love?!
Yes, dumbass, love. You even confessed it when you thought you were going to die. Well, you almost confessed it.
Almost doesn't count. So, shut your mouth.
Don't deny what's there, girl, or you'll be lying to yourself and missing out on a great opportunity.
I see dad has already gone to work and left me a note on the refrigerator.
Just like I did last night.
'Sorry I wasn't there when you woke, Bells. I had to go to work early. Have a great day at school.
Stay out of trouble.
Love,
Dad'
Tears fill my eyes as guilt washes over me that I could've broken his heart so carelessly. How could I even think of hurting Dad like that?
You were being selfless, you were trying to save his life.
I don't believe that anymore. I think I was escaping from Edward because I-
I shake my head, stopping my thought process there.
Note to self: never act on an impulse again. Ever.
I lock the door and walk toward Bob. I walk around him trying to see if the damage from last night shows.
Nothing. There's absolutely no dent that would indicate Bob crashed into a tree.
Wow, I'm impressed.
I squeal when Bob's usual roar greets me upon starting him.
I'm going to kiss Edward when I see him! He fixed my Bob!
Ahem. As I was saying-
I mean THANK him. I'll just thank him.
Sure, girl. Keep telling yourself that.
In 10 minutes I have Bob parked in his usual place. There aren't that many students yet because I arrived early.
I see Mike and his friends gathered together around Tyler's new van.
His dad bought him a new one after the accident. You'd think he would take away his keys for driving so damn fast and almost killing us both.
Some people are stupid.
As I lock Bob, someone speaks from behind me.
"Hey, Bella. What's up?"
I jump a foot in the air and drop my keys to the ground. Thankfully, there's no mud puddle today.
"The hell?"
I put a hand over my chest to calm my fast beating heart.
I turn around to see Mike with a sheepish expression on his face.
He bends downs and grabs my keys."Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, Bella."
He drops the keys into my hands, his fingers grazing my own.
Ugh.
"Yeah, I don't want to be the youngest person ever to die of a heart attack," I tease him.
He chuckles then, becoming nervous and rubbing the back of his neck.
"Hey, so, listen. I-I was wondering since, you know prom's coming up, and I know it's a bit early to ask, but, well, I-I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to the prom with me?" he stammers, his voice breaking.
Um…
Awkward!
I open my mouth to reply when I notice Edward staring, well more like glaring at us from across the lot where he's standing by his parked car.
Technically, he's glaring at Mike and his nostrils are flaring in anger.
Girl, he's jealous.
Don't be ridiculous.
He practically ate your face on Friday, which means he likes you, bitch! So, of course he's jealous!
When his dark eyes shift to me, his gaze turns soft, but his expression becomes sad.
I want to reach out and hug his sadness away.
I look back at Mike and feel bad for him. I bet it's nerve-wracking for a guy to ask a girl out.
"Mike, I think it's flattering that you're asking me to prom, but to be honest I wasn't really expecting you to because we don't know each other that well. I'm sorry, I can't go to prom with you because I don't like to dance."
His face drops.
That's a lie, I love to dance, I just don't want to go to prom because it's so cliché.
"It's okay; you don't really have to dance if you don't want to," he adds, hope shining in his blue eyes.
Ugh, why me?
"Mike, listen, don't tell anyone I told you this, but I can't really go out with you because I know Jessica likes you."
She's not my friend. She's a heinous bitch and I just know that if I were to accept a date with Mike she would unleash hell on my ass. And I would rather play tonsil hockey with Jacob than ever go on a date with Mike Newton.
Guuuurrrrrl. That's some truth, right there!
It's true, she's been eyeing him like a sad little puppy and trying to gain his attention for weeks, but it seems he never noticed. The dumbass.
"Oh!" And just like that his face brightens up. "She likes me?"
Yup. Oblivious this one is.
Thank you, Yoda.
"Yeah, she does," I reply with a smile.
"Wow, I didn't know that."
Clearly.
"Thanks, Bella. I'll see you around."
Mike waves and walks back to his friends with a skip to his step.
I would've been offended that he switched his affections from me to Jessica so quickly, but I'm not interested in him at all so it really doesn't matter to me.
Boys. I shake my head and roll my eyes.
I hoist my bag onto my shoulder and am about to head for the school building when I notice that Edward is still leaning against his car looking at me with confused eyes.
He's always confused when he looks at me.
'What?' I mouth to him with a smile.
He just shrugs his shoulders then smiles that charming crooked smile.
My heart beats fast as I roll my eyes at him. His response is a wider smile and a wink.
I walk to the building with my face feeling hot.
~E&I~
My hands are trembling and my heart is beating so hard in my chest that I can hear the ringing in my ears.
I saw Angela and the Cullen siblings as I was walking through the cafeteria to go outside. Angela just smirked at me, whereas Alice gave me a thumbs then began jumping in her seat. She's weird, in a cute way.
Ugh, they're going to hound my ass later.
Jasper looked at me, winked, then put a hand on Alice to calm her down, which she instantly did.
Okay, now that's weird.
Emmett just wiggled his eyebrows at me and made kissy faces that made my face feel hot. Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head and glared at him.
I have to thank Emmett and Jasper when I get the chance.
I slowly trek to one of the wooden tables outside of the cafeteria where Edward is already sitting with a tray of food.
A few people have braved the cold to sit outside, but they're far enough away that they won't hear our impending conversation.
Deep breaths. Here we go.
"Hey… " Because what else are you supposed to say to a vampire?
"Hello, Bella."
Ugh! Why does he have to say my name so sweetly?
I sit down across from him, my heart still hammering.
"Thanks again, for fixing Bob," I mutter.
Why am I acting all shy?
"You're welcome, Bella. Like I said, it's the least I could do."
I nod, my hands fidgeting.
"Don't be afraid," he murmurs.
"I'm not," I say defensively.
He raises an eyebrow at me and stares back at me with eyes that are now a luminous gold.
We have a stare off for a minute, then I give up.
"Ugh, fine. I am. It's not everyday a girl finds out that V-people exist."
"V-people?" he asks, humor dancing in his eyes.
I roll my eyes. "Ugh, you're going to make me say it, aren't you? I mean vampires," I whisper the last word.
"I see," he says, trying hard to keep a straight face.
"Okay, laugh it up, you ass!" I mock glare at him, unable to stay mad at his funny expression.
He grins and shakes his head. "Bella, I'm trying to deal with the situation by seeing the humor in it."
His expression turns sad in an instant. "I don't want you to be afraid. Not of me. I'll never hurt you, Bella." He implores me to believe him.
And I do.
"I know," I tell him.
He looks into my eyes, probably searching whether I'm being honest or not.
"You're being honest," he says in a surprised tone.
I roll my eyes. "I've been honest with you from the start. Why else would I have called you an asshole?" I give him a cheeky smile.
It's his turn to roll his eyes. "Yes, you've made your opinion of me quite clear in the past. I wonder..."
"Wonder what?
"I wonder whether you cared enough to allow yourself to be hurt by my actions, hence branding me with that noun."
It doesn't escape my notice that he uses the past tense of care. I flush.
He caught that, huh? To be honest, I did care… a bit.
A bit my ass! You care - not did care - a lot!
"Because I care about you, Bella. I hope you know that."
"I know by now that you do. And I care about you, too. I guess calling you an asshole shows I only cared about how you behaved that first day. But I'm not here to discuss that with you now…"
Edward's eyes turn bright at my confession and I can't find it in me to roll my eyes at him. He looks so attractive right now. So I smile back.
"That's weird, but I understand it."
I shrug. "I've always been weird."
"No, you're adorable."
Jesus. You're not buying this sweet crap are you?
*swoon*
Lord help us.
Edward then leans forward and places his elbows on the table. He slides his tray to me.
"I know you're averse to cafeteria food, but you should eat something, then we can talk."
"You noticed that, huh?"
"I notice everything about you, Bella."
I blush, again, storing that information for later.
I eye the tray of food: There's a slice of pizza, two club sandwiches, an apple, a salad, hamburger and fries, and a bottle of water.
I forgot to pack my own lunch today so I pick up one of the sandwiches.
"Do you always buy this much?"
"No. I didn't know what you like so I bought them all."
"You really didn't have to do that for me. Besides, I can't eat all this." I wave my hand at the tray.
"I'll join you, then," he winks.
"So, can vampires eat food?"
"We can, but our bodies don't digest it and what we have to do to rid ourselves of it is unpleasant. I'd compare the taste of it with a human eating dirt, except humans can digest dirt."
"What? You mean you don't want to share?" I joke, holding the sandwich to his mouth.
He rolls his eyes and takes a bite that's nearly a third of the sandwich half I'm holding before grimacing and chewing it up, then swallowing it.
I scrunch my nose. "Well I didn't mean for you to take a bite the size of Texas!" I tease.
He smirks, then his expression turns serious. "We have to keep up appearances."
He then nods toward the other tables, so I turn my head to see the few students sitting outside staring at us.
"I'm sorry if this is drawing attention to you."
"Don't apologize, it's not your fault," he says softly. "We'll always attract attention wherever we go. It's part of our allure..." He frowns, letting the sentence trail off.
He doesn't continue the sentence, but I know he means to say that it's part of their allure to capture prey.
"You're usually calmer when your eyes are topaz. I've noticed that about you," I comment before taking a bite of my sandwich.
"You have?" he asks in a deep voice, raising an eyebrow.
"Mhm."
"What else have you noticed?" he asks, tilting his head.
I lean forward. "Well, I've noticed that you're usually bad-tempered and a colossal ass when your eyes are black. Your eyes also change according to your mood, and when they're black the purple circles under them become more defined. There's also your speed and strength but we'll get to that some other time."
"I reiterate my statement from yesterday, your intelligence astounds me. I've never met someone as perceptive as you." He shakes his head, his eyes dancing with mirth. "Though, I'm flattered you've taken time to notice that about me, beautiful."
Oh my god, I'm NOT blushing in front of him right now! Oh god, yes I am, and it's not easy for a blush to show on dark skin!
YASSS! He's flirting with you, girl!
"When you blush, your skin color becomes more vibrant; it's a beautiful sight," he murmurs.
The way he says it, all affectionate and shit, makes me blush more.
"I'm not the only one who cares enough to notice things," I retort, my lips curving into a grin.
He grins back at me, his eyes bright.
"So, how come your eyes are topaz and those other vampires had red eyes?" I ask, frowning, confused at the difference. "I mean, Jacob told me you guys feed on humans, and clearly, those vampires do too, seeing as they wanted to kill me. What's the difference in eye color, then?"
Edward furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean Jacob told you we feed on humans? And who's Jacob?"
Shit! How can I put this as delicately as I can?
"Well, Jacob told me about the legends of his tribe. He said that a yellow-eyed vampire came to the area one day and killed a girl, then proceeded to massacre the entire tribe. He also said that if you guys were to know that they know your secret you'll kill them. And Jacob's dad is Billy Black, he's the Chief of the Quileute tribe." I say all this in a rush.
I said DELICATELY!
Well, I panicked!
"Ah, I see." He turns his head to the side, staring in the distance.
I fidget in my seat.
Is he angry now? As much as Jacob creeps me out I don't want him to die.
"Is it true? What Jacob said?" I mutter.
He looks back at me. "Well, you know the vampire part is true, and we can discuss the details of that in a more appropriate setting. As for what we feed on, it's tied to your question of why my family's eyes are different from those nomads; nomad is how we refer to vampires who are constantly travelling."
He sighs, looking at me with pleading eyes. "Jacob lied to you, Bella. We, my family, we don't feed on humans, we feed on animals. That's why our eye color is different. Red eyes indicate that they feed on humans and my family's eyes are yellow because the DNA in animal blood is different from the DNA in human blood. Whether the animal is cold or warm blooded even makes a difference." Then he laughs a little, "Jasper once bet Emmett he couldn't drink shark blood for six months. Of course, Emmett can't say no to a bet, so he tried and his eyes turned silver. He ended up losing the bet after three months. He lasted as long as he could, but he said that it just tasted too disgusting. It's too bad, too, because when his eyes were silver, they looked much more human, like a light grey. It would help us blend in better..." he trails off and shakes his head, looking embarrassed.
The image of big, burly Emmett hunting a shark causes me to giggle. I try to picture Edward with silver eyes and I'm sure he'd look just as handsome.
Should I believe what he's saying?
I look into his eyes and see nothing but honesty and his desire for me to believe him.
Assuming I do, what does this mean for us? Can there even be 'us'? Although, envisioning an 'us' fills me with such joy and excitement that my heart starts beating faster.
In a flash, Edward grabs both of my hands in one of his cold ones.
The cold feels so good against my skin. I want to keep my hands there.
"Please don't be afraid. We try, Bella, every day. We try to resist our urges and be the better part of ourselves. Most of the time we're successful, though we always take extra precautions to be careful."
"I'm not afraid, Edward, I thought we established that. Wait, what made you think I was afraid?"
He looks sheepish. "I can hear the sound of your heartbeat."
I let that sink in for a few minutes and Edward patiently waits me out.
Surprisingly, I'm not freaking out. I'm truly fine with it.
"Ah. Okay, then."
"That simple?" He wonders.
I smile. "Yeah, that simple. And I believe you."
Edward beams, and I've never seen anything so beautiful. His entire face lights up, his eyes brighten with happiness, and a huge grin adorns his handsome face, showing those perfect white teeth. And I'm sure my own smile is just as big and bright as his.
He rubs his thumb on the back of my hand, causing sparks to ignite all over my body. I barely suppress a shudder…
"What happened to those nomads?" I wonder.
Edward's expression darkens and his eyes turn black. "You don't have to worry about them, they're dealt with."
"Like hell I don't!" I realize I've gotten kind of loud and I lower my voice, "It does worry me because, hello, they tried to kill me! What, did you kill them?" I whisper the last sentence.
His black eyes return to their normal color, and he sighs. "Not all of them. James, the one with the ponytail, got away."
"Oh. None of you were hurt though, right?"
"A sadistic vampire wants to kill you, and you're worried about my brothers and me." Edward shakes his head in disbelief.
"Well, I was. I don't think I could forgive myself if something bad happens to you because of me," I confess, my throat suddenly tight.
"Hey. Nothing will happen to any of us. And it's not your fault; you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Please, don't blame yourself for any of this, okay?" he says sweetly.
I nod my head, but my mind starts to conjure up horrible scenarios.
What if he kills more people!? What if he kills one of them when they're least expecting his attack?!
"This is why I didn't want to tell you. You're afraid now," he says with a dejected tone.
"Edward, I have to know about things that concern me even if they scare me, okay? Promise me you won't hide anything that relates to me, even if I don't like it."
A few seconds later, he sighs, then begrudgingly nods. "You're right, I promise."
"Thank you," I whisper.
He squeezes my hands in response, a smile gracing his features.
"Just so we're clear," I start. "You're not going to murder the tribe for Jacob's mistake, are you?" I tease, but the seriousness is evident in my tone.
I can't believe that fucker lied!
That no good, lying, psycho, SOB!
"No, although he did violate the treaty."
He sees the question on my face and says. "I'll tell you about it later. The bell's going to ring."
Then, not even a second later, the bell does ring. He grabs the tray that's still filled with food, and walks up to me.
"How did you know the bell was going to ring? Are you psychic, too?"
At my question, Edward laughs a belly laugh, but doesn't elaborate as we walk in silence, our hands grazing each other, cold on warm.
Aw, isn't that sweet? Share your thoughts with me :) I always appreciate them and it motivates me to write faster ;)
A/N: Just because Bella is physically comfortable with him doesn't mean that she's emotionally there, yet.