Chapter 1 - Before the beginning

It was one of the hottest nights in Forks, Washington since I had arrived here nearly two years ago. Tonight was the night I had been waiting for. The night where I would become a Cullen for all of eternity; the night I would become a vampire.

I was sitting in the Cullen's living room waiting for Edward and Emmett to return from their hunting trip. Edward insisted that it would be the safest thing for him to do so he didn't have to fight, as hard, the urge to drain my body completely. The rest of the Cullen's agreed and Emmett wanted to go with him.

Jasper, Alice, and Carlisle were all waiting patiently and calmly - with me in the living room - for them to return. Esme was upstairs in mine and Edward's bedroom, getting it ready for when I was to lie in the huge king-sized bed for the last time alive. Rosalie was in her room, not wanting anything to do with the whole "me becoming a vampire" thing. She was still annoyed by the fact that I was a human who actually wanted to be damned to a life fighting against your own thirst every single moment. She was just going to have to get over it, and soon because as soon as Edward gets home I was going in the first stage of my transformation.

I was starting to get a little anxious, nervous, uneasy, and scared. I knew what was coming, I knew what to expect and I was just about terrified. I'm not much of a masochist and the pain was going to be horrible, like fire was flowing throw your veins. Jasper must have picked up on my fluctuating emotions and he gave me an odd look.

"The pain," Was all I said and everyone looked at me with confused eyes. Then Jasper nodded and they seemed to guess what was wrong. They must have realized that Jasper was picking up on my emotions and that I was explaining the reason for them.

I didn't hear when the Volvo drove in, so it was a shock when all of a sudden I heard Emmett's booming laughter coming from the porch, and then it suddenly stopped and then a crashing sound and Emmett yell "OOOUUUCCCHHH, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!!!!"

Then Edward was beside me and holding me close to his chest "Ever say that again and I'll kill you!" Edward growled.

I was shocked to have him that close so quickly. A tiny gasp escaped my lips and I hoped that he wouldn't hear. But of course, he did, he never missed a thing.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to startle you I just wanted to get to you before Emmett did." He apologized then turned to glare at his bigger brother, who had walked through the door.

"What's all the commotion down here?" Esme asked from the top of the stairs. Then the next second she was standing between her two sons.

"I was just kidding around, and Edward had to go and take to heart. Geez! Then he goes and hits me right off the porch." Emmett explained.

Edward just growled under his breath. I put my hand on his chest to calm him down some.

"It's ok Edward, calm down. What did he say?" I asked and his face smoothed into a calm expression.

"We were talking about tonight and . . ." he hesitated.

"And?" I asked when he didn't say anything more.

"And I made a little joke about how I would do it if he didn't think he was man enough." Emmett said with a little chuckle.

It happened so quick that I missed it. One second Emmett was chuckling and the next he was smashed into the wall and Edward was standing beside me with a smirk on his face.

"Edward!" I said with shock clearly noticeable in my voice.

Then Emmett started to laugh and everyone, including myself, joined in. By this time Rosalie was downstairs and laughing at her husband on the floor. We were all present now and Carlisle was the first to speak.

"We should probably get this over with." He said very calmly. Jasper must have sent a wave of calm, because I was suddenly at ease.

"Are you sure . . ." Edward had started but I cut him off.

"I have NEVER been so sure about anything in my entire life. This is what I want. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be here right now. There is no point in living if I can't live with you, forever. Now let's get this over with. I love you and I want to spend every second of forever with you, and that's that." I said very calmly, thanks to Jasper I would presume.

"Okay. I know there's no changing your mind . . ." he hesitated. "But I was just hoping." He said grimly.

"It's okay Edward, we belong together." I was suddenly overwhelmed by the truth in my own words.

"Forever." He agreed, as he pulled me close to his chest. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire. Then he kissed me so passionately it was like his family wasn't even there.

It was my need to breathe that broke the kiss. I was the one to break away, because Edward seemed to forget my human needs, or was just ignoring them. He must have wanted to make my last kiss, alive, a long and extraordinary one. If that was what he was aiming for, he definitely hit the mark.

"Let's get upstairs and do this." I said as gazed into his gorgeous eyes. The were the lightest colour I've ever seen them before.

"Yes." Was all he could say, then he picked me up and held me in his arms just like a child, tight to his chest.

He walked up the stairs at human speed, anything he could do to make this moment last just a little longer. When we finally got to his room, he just kept looking at me with a sad look in his eyes. He set me on the bed and put my hands on both sides of his face.

"Don't." I said, "Don't look like that. It hurts me to know that I'm hurting you, please, just please try to be happy. I'm yours, and I love you and this is the right thing to do. Don't worry." I pleaded.

"Bella, what if I can't stop? What if I don't want to stop?" he said, and I was sure that if he could cry he would.

"I trust you and that's all that matters." I said very calmly.

"I'll be here Edward" Carlisle spoke up. I hadn't noticed the other Cullen's had joined us in the room. "It will be okay." He reassured him.

"See, nothing to worry about. It's all taken care of." I said warmly with a tiny smile. This seemed to ease his mind, and he gave a small weak smile back.

I brought my hands down from his and took up his left hand. I held it very tight in mine, I felt the coolness of it, the hardness, and felt how very smooth it was. I brought his hand to my face and breathed in the amazing aroma of his skin then very gently kissed the top. He closed his eyes and sighed, I knew how warm I felt to him, and it was like Jacob with me.

"I love you" was all I could say.

"I love you too." He said and laid me down flat on the bed. I still held his hand in mine, and I knew that he would leave once I started to scream.

"Please don't leave. No matter what, okay?" I asked.

"I promise that I won't leave your side." He paused then bent down and placed his head on my chest, listening to the last of my heartbeats. It was only a few short seconds before he reluctantly lifted his head. "Carlisle, where's the morphine?" he asked very calmly I noticed that Jasper had his hand on Edward's shoulder.

"It's right here." He said. "Bella could you lift your arm please," I did as he asked and he gently slid the tip of the needle into the crease of my elbow. I did my best not to wince at the needle or to cringe away from it, and succeeded. "There it should just take a second."

I could already feel it flowing through my veins. And I knew that in a few minutes I would feel the fire, and be wishing I was dead. But I knew I could go through anything if Edward was with me.

"I love you Edward." I slurred as the morphine kicked into high gear.

"I love you too," was all he said, before I felt his cool lips pressed to the skin on my right wrist, and his teeth sank in.

A/N: So this is the first chapter let me know what you guys think ^^

Lily3