Edward

"Don't Bella." I said bitterly, she didn't need to know what was running through my mind.

"I…I don't understand Edward, did I say something wrong?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly. I groaned inwardly.

'You're a fool Edward a damn fool'. My mind chastised me as I continued to struggle with my next words.

"You shouldn't ask silly questions, Bella."

I'm an idiot, a fool, a jackass, hell I think I might be just plain retarded. Bella, my Bella asked me if I loved her; if we could ever be something that came close to what our other brothers and sisters were.

Yes! My mind screamed. For all that is good, yes! Bella, I love you. I've loved you since the day Carlisle bought you to us. Let me show you how much I love you and need you, for God's sake Bella, let me show you for eternity.

But no, she couldn't possibly love me. She was the lovely, gorgeous Aphrodite goddess that lived in my heart and here I was, Edward Cullen, your average one hundred year old sulking vampire. How could one love me? I was a doormat letting everyone walk on me; I showed no emotion and let everyone pick on me. Bella deserved more than me - someone who was strong, who could take care of her properly. I knew that I was destined to be someone who wasn't capable of loving anyone else; I was destined to be the bitter, egotistic loner. But who was to tell me that I was the one who was to be destined to become that person? Oh yes I was - that's why I'm such an idiot.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair for the millionth time today. I was a minute away from a nervous breakdown. Bella had requested to see her father today, the day we leave Forks for Alaska. Of course Carlisle had asked Emmett to accompany her, not that I doubt Emmett's capability, to watch over her, it's just that I feel that I'm the one who should be going with her, protecting her. But, her words made it clear that she didn't want anything from me.

"I don't need Edward, Carlisle." My grateful memory repeated. She had spit those words out as if I were an annoying insect that she wanted to squash. I couldn't really blame her though, I was being a complete jackass – everyone would've agreed, hell even I agreed with myself.

I should be thankful to Carlisle for this move, it could be a chance to start fresh, from everything - from Bella. I could except the fact the Bella really felt the way I did or I could continue to deny my feelings for her in hopes of her finding someone else who was better suited for her. But, I knew deep down that she need to know how I felt; I had made her that promise from the very beginning that I would be here for her, that I would tell her everything - yet here I was breaking it and denying myself of her.

You're an idiot Cullen, go to her. A voice sung out. I snorted.

You heard her, she didn't want me. I replied.

She's lying. The voice taunted. She loves you it's obvious, your just too stupid to see it.

Loves me? That's why she despises me, correct?

Your trying to lie to yourself Edward. Be a man and see what's in front of you.

"Argh!" I cried out, throwing a pillow over my over active mind. I knew what needed to be done. Bella needed to know everything; especially that I loved her more than I could love anything or anyone else.

With my new motivation still intact, I grabbed my jacket and headed towards the small dingy house Bella used to call home.

Bella

I sighed inwardly. Today would be one of the happiest and saddest day of my life. I get to see my father, Charlie today and it wasn't too often that I was able to go. Yet, this sadden me as it would be the last time I got to see him - I was going to go to say goodbye. Say goodbye to my old life - human and nonhuman.

I also made a decision that I needed to say goodbye to my feelings for Edward. It was obvious, he didn't love me the way I loved him. I had convinced myself that he wasn't the only vampire left on Earth. Hell, we were moving to Alaska where the Denali coven lived - maybe someone would be there waiting for me, willing to love me, unlike Edward.

"Yo, Bella! Let's go!" Emmett boomed from my doorway. I jumped slightly, hold my hand to my non beating heart.

"Jesus, Emmett I could hear you, you know?" He just laughed.

"Ah yes, but it's much more fun to scare the crap out of you instead." He said teasingly, throwing his over muscled arm around me, leading me downstairs.

"Now, be careful you two." Carlisle said cautiously. Emmett just waved him off.

"Pssh, I'm not worried are you Bells?" I nodded my head in agreement, Carlisle seemed to approve.

"Bella…" He said softly, his voice trailing off. I put a hand gingerly on his arm.

"I'll be fine Carlisle, really." He just smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Back by twilight, then."

"Yeah, yeah…" Emmett said heading out towards the garage as I preceded to follow him, giving Carlisle one last reassuring look.

I fidgeted with my pale hands all the way to Charlie's house. Emmett seemed to notice.

"Bella?"

"Oh, I'm fine really, just…anxious, nervous, and all of the above." I said nervously – honestly I was coming slightly undone at the seams. Emmett's hand covered mine.

"We'll be fine Bella, so will Charlie." I nodded, I'm glad that Carlisle asked Emmett to come, he could be my rock. We went to go park in our usual spot, three blocks away from Charlie's when I spotted him. Well, not him exactly. Parked only a few feet away was that stupid, shiny, silver Volvo. Emmett noticed as well and mumbled something incoherent, but I believe it was along the lines of, "Stupid vampire prick". I sighed, closing my eyes.

This is not happening. It's just a figment of my over active imagination. I repeated this mantra a few times, trying to convince myself he wasn't here. Opening my eyes, I realized that my mantra failed me as he stood a few feet away from me in all his Adonis glory, walking towards Emmett's overdone Jeep.

"What do you want?" Emmett asked icily, Edward put up his hands in defense.

"I just want a moment with Bella." Emmett looked at me asking for permission.

"Bella, it's up to you but I would tell him to leave you the hell alone." Having my eyes pointed elsewhere then the scene in front of me, I sighed.

He's barely said two words to me, what could he want now? Oh yes, the whole visit to see my father.

"If you're here Edward to stop me from seeing Charlie then…" I didn't get a chance to finish as he placed his hand on my arm. I gasped slightly, the feel of his touch almost forgotten by my mind.

Please Bella, I need just a moment with you, this isn't about Charlie… it's about… other things. The look of shock took over my features, for the last time he spoke to me through his thoughts was that depressing day in the meadow. Now he wanted to talk, not about Charlie but about other things. What other things? Possibly why he's been a complete jackass over the past few weeks? Why he denies me so? To have him tell me that I'm not good enough for him, because he already obviously answered that question.

I heard Edward wince softly, taking me out of my thoughts. I immediately pulled my arm from his grip, forgetting our little special gift.

He had heard me. From him being a complete jackass to him denying me. Great Bella, just great.

"Everything can wait Edward, right now, Emmett and I are going to see Charlie." I said, trying gracefully to hop out of Emmett's overgrown jeep, but failed as I hastily tripped over my feet, landing in a strong yet soft grip. I moaned to myself, ripping my body out of his grip.

"Thanks." I muttered as I regained my composure. Emmett took once glance in our direction as his body turned in the direction of Charlie's house.

"Bella, it's now or never." I nodded and fell in step behind Emmett.

"Wait! Please, let me come." Edward pleaded. I sighed, he wasn't going to give up, was he?

"Fine! But I don't want to hear a single word from you, in my ear or my thoughts, got it?" I said, poking him in the chest.

He gulped and nodded slightly, taking a step back. Emmett seemed to laugh.

"Is the big sulky vampire scared of little vampire Bella?" He teased. Edward said nothing, but he look towards Emmett said everything. I shook my head, boys.

My sneakers glided smoothly against the grass as we reached the back of my father's home. Emmett grabbed my shoulder softly.

"Remember Bella, not too long, okay?" I nodded, I just wanted enough time to say goodbye. I started towards the back door as Edward reached out for me.

"Bella, please, let me come with you." I took a moment, looking at him. His eyes for once were full of concern, not guilt or sadness. He then smiled, "I promise, I'll behave, no touching, no mind reading." My non beating heart smiled a little. I missed this Edward, hell I loved this Edward.

"Yes…yeah, okay. No misbehaving though, got it?"

"Or I'll have Bella punish you Edward." Emmett said jokingly. If I could've blushed right there, I would've been beet red from head to toe. Edward seemed a little off putted by this, but he just cleared his throat instead.

"Shall we?" He asked, referring to our original task. I nodded and slid open the back glass door that Charlie had always left open. Stepping inside I took in quick breath trying to capture the scents of my forgotten childhood. My nose was welcomed with the scents of fresh fish, leather, and old wood. Pictures of me were hung up throughout the house, ones from when I was little, ones from my awkward teenage years, to current ones that were posted next to "missing" posters. I stifled a sniff – I knew that now was not the time to break down. I had to be strong, for myself and for both of my families.

I felt Edward beside me, keeping a safe distance between us. I could feel his eyes watching me, concerned. I smiled as if to reassure him. He smiled half-heartedly at me though there was a certain sadness resting in his eyes. We had walked softly until we came to the old wooden stairs. Edward headed up first with me behind him, I'm sure he just wanted to protect me in case I felt an urge to um, feed. He then came to a halt at the end of the staircase, letting me move in front of him. Charlie's door was open and I was close enough that I could feel his heartbeat and his fresh blood running through his veins – I was becoming slightly tempted as I swallowed the pool of venom in my throat. Edward seemed to noticed that I tensed slightly and leaned in close to me, whispering softly.

"You can do this Bella, he is your father, remember that." I nodded. I've done this before and nothing had happened, this I can do. I took a step closer, now being able to see the soft outline of his body and the steady rise and fall of his chest. Edward was behind me, being careful to keep his distance, but still close in case I couldn't controls my urges.

I approached Charlie's bed rather quickly, kneeling down at the edge of it being careful not to wake him. He looked different from the last time I had saw him. He looked older, more of his wrinkles were prominent and his brow looked permanently furrowed with worry. I breathed heavily. He looked like hell and it was all my fault. He could be happy right now, not have a care in the world if I had just stayed home, and not gone out that night.

I fell softly to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest, sobbing silently. I felt hands on my shoulders, Edward's hand. I wanted to curse him for touching me, for breaking his promise, but in reality I wanted him to envelope me in his arms and tell me that this wasn't my fault, that he was here for me and that he loved me. I knew that he could hear me and at this moment I didn't care. I wanted him to know exactly how I felt.

Through my sobs, I had remembered why I had come here in the first place, to say goodbye. I looked up from my chest and took one last look at my poor father. This isn't how I wanted to remember him – or how I wanted to say goodbye. But, this was my last chance; I found the courage to lean over his cheek and kiss it softly.

"I never left you dad and I will never leave you, I love you."

I rose slowly and turned to come face to face with Edward's chest. I crashed into it, sobbing silently. He lifted me swiftly into his arms, carrying me out of the house. I closed my eyes as he did so, sobbing even harder into the front of Edward's shirt.

This… this had been harder than I thought.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and review. It means a lot to me and motivates me even more.