"It's All About the Game"

No…no…

I couldn't breathe. The more it went, the more I was convinced that this was real but I really didn't want it to be. I stared at the smug smile on Negan's face, gulping. He looked very intimidating but don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I didn't like him. The moment he made an appearance in the Walking Dead, I instantly fell in love with his charismatic character. Minus what he did then to one of my favorite characters. But Is it something wrong with me always loving psycho maniac characters with attractive personalities and amazing lines? I never really gave it much thought before. But he just gave the show this new aura that made it more fucking awesome, more challenging for heroes of course but awesome nonetheless.

But to stand in front of him in person…? No, I wouldn't suggest it and it'd better be a dream. So me, still shaking, sweating, breathing heavily like an asthmatic, looked around nervously. Trying to find a simple indicate that it wasn't real, that I was still sane. When zombies were chasing me, I wasn't able to check for cameras around me but now I had a chance. I could be in the Walking Dead's set for some strange reason but THAT… even made a lot more sense than THIS. This could be the actor who PLAYED Negan which was so much better cause it seems like he's actually a nice person and would never want to smash my head just for a good laugh.

No cameras between the teers, not directors, no behind the scene crew. Nope. Nope. Nope. My eyes stumbled back on Negan's face. The rotten scent still burned my nostrils. I couldn't make any sense of it. It was a true nightmare.

"No…I can't be IN the 'Walking Dead' universe. No… I mean there's no cameras and these—" I pointed at the dead zombie at my feet, but didn't stare at it long so the nauseous feeling wouldn't return. " Seem so…so… real and…and you're not Jeffery Dean Morgan, are you?" He tilted his head at me now with a half smirk and a raised brow. Oh god. " Nope… no you're Negan. Like the Negan… the real one, right? " My breath hitched and I found myself unable of sucking more air into my lungs.

Negan took a few more steps to me. His tall height, made him more monstrous, more dangerous and more threatening. I almost fainted the moment he completely devoured me in his black shadow. Then he broke into a wide smile. "Right in the flesh. Negan, " He cocked his head on the left, to the baseball bat on his shoulder. " Lucille."

That taunting tone alone, gave me shivers. "Please tell me this isn't real. " I cracked, feeling tears built up in my eyes.

"Oh, I'd love, to help you with that." Negan said and swung the baseball bat, swiftly as he brought it up and held it over my head.

Instincts kicked right in time in me as I raised both of my hands in defense, " Nonono please please please please don't kill me." I cried.

Let me tell you something. Rick was only an example of tough guys going too far with Negan. With Negan you gotta know that you don't fight, you just beg. Then it's all up to him to believe it or leave it. And I prayed to whatever was up there that he would actually consider believing it.

"Woah-oh-oh-" He bellowed almost too amusingly. " I. Like. This girl. All the beggings—" He sneered, now circling me with Lucille resting on his shoulder. "Look how she's shaking. " He said, breathing into my neck, which made me jump in fear, " Excuse the fuck outta me, am I… being too scary? "

"Very!" I replied quickly.

"Good," He walked from behind me and stood right in front of me again. " What's your name?"

"E-Elena, " I croaked, not wanting to make him angry.

"Elena…" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, " Elena, Elena..., Eli," then grinning, he continued, " Do you wanna play games, Eli?" Only my friends and family called me Eli.

As far as I am aware, there are two people in the history of comic books whose their definition of games is quite different with ours. One of them is definitely Negan.

"Is…is it um… rude to say No?" I answered unconsciously.

I honestly didn't even realize how strong my two letter word was cause the moment I said it, Negan's expression changed to something more haunting. More predatory. I looked up and I saw that his brown eyes darkened. It wasn't possible for a human being to change the color of their eyes but at that moment I saw how coal-black they turned to. They gazed at me with something I interpreted as rage but it was deeper and it had more to it.

"No?" He clucked his tongue impatiently, " I just found you, little shit- " He pointed his Lucille at me," In my playground, how can you give me a fucking 'No'?" He said, once again smiling. "No… is not a fucking answer, Eli."

A sob escaped my mouth but I brushed my emotions away. This was the moment I needed to be the strongest but I knew I'd failed so far. " I mean… y-you're gonna kill me, right?"

"I leave that to you to decide," He paused, pinning me down in my spot with his eyes for something that felt like a decade then said. " So what is it? You're in?"

I swallowed another knot balling in my throat. " I… just said—"

"No!" His loud tone gave me a heart attack, was I just making him angry therefore digging my own grave? "You're ruining this mother fucking game here. "His next words came suspiciously gentle. "I don't ask shits. I mean… you want to live, right?"

"Yes! Yes! Like I really don't intend to die at least not in the next 40-50 years. I wanna marry, have children, grandchildren, have a happy life. I mean yeah… I might've sometimes thought about killing myself because I found no escape to my miserable life, when I literally wanted to run away from my crazy dad and …and…and become more independent and free but even then nothing went as I excepted because I never really made enough money and I know money isn't everything but it is something… I thought more about killing those who hurt me most in life like… like my boss cause he's a fucking moron… or or or—"

"Eli! Eli! Come back to us!" I must have zoned out or something when Negan snapped his fingers in front of my face and started grinning like he was having the fun of his life. For a moment I'd become so full of rage, I didn't realize how I'd been stomping the dead walker at my feet. My face was wet with tears and I knew I'd turned full tomato. I stopped then, trying to relax my tensed body. My body shook violently but not in fear but in anger of remembering how full of shit my life was and now it was about to end without me making an attempt to change it. I was desperate and angry of myself and of everybody else. I even thought about lunging at Negan and trying to yank Lucille out of his grip and beat the shit out of him but no… that was the stupidest idea ever. I'd be dead before even trying.

Negan turned around, opening his arms and spinning around theatrically, laughing he turned to his group of men, holding their guns down and staring at him, unfazed. Sure they must have used to his weird behavior but I didn't come as ordinary to them, so when they glanced back at me I could see traces of shock in their eyes

"Didn't I tell you that I like this one? This one's—" Negan turned on his heels, held Lucille to my face and gave a low whistle. " Fearless. Most people shit themselves only standing there. You on the other hand," He came to me again, snickering . " You got some massive balls. " He announced then paused. Walked back again to one of his man with dirty blond hair who held a rifle. He patted the young man's back a few times and scoffed. " Almost like Mattew here. Well before I cut them off. " He said casually like it was the most normal thing to do. Cutting off some man's ball.

I actually flinched at that. Even though I was a girl, I couldn't tell if he was just boosting about his handcrafts or threatening to amputate some… other part of my body. I gulped again, mom always said my big mouth one day gets me in trouble and oh boy wasn't she right about it. I was making Negan bored and once bored there was no way back.

"I'm… I'm just really nervous, Negan. Would you please just… don't kill me. I mean… I…I'm a huge fan. " I pleaded, still afraid to move. I was standing on a really thin line there. " Let me live and I'll do anything… anything for you."

Somehow that lightened up his mood and I saw a quick gleam of excitement in his eyes. " Anything?" he taunted aloud.

I only managed to nod in response but I was sure he got the gist of it. That is why he leaned close again and stared in my eyes. "What can you do Eli?"

It seemed as if standing so close to me, he'd sucked up all the oxygen in the air. I couldn't think properly, my head was throbbing so painfully I just couldn't comprehend his question, let alone giving him an answer. However I doubted he really cared about my answer. I didn't know how long I was holding my breath but the moment he pulled back, I was somehow able to take a deep breath in and think of something. Something… hopefully smart.

But what I really could do? I never have thought about it before. It was like therapy all over again. Can you consider eating, sleeping and shitting, something?

"Uhhh…I…uh…" I stammered, how about writing and reading stuff as well? I honestly didn't know. I couldn't do shit! but I had to find something, something that was actually worth living for. " I…I…I can run," I said and his eyes widened momentary, "Really fast."

"Run, you say?" He mocked, " You mean like how you were running away from the walkers earlier."

"Faster."

"Too. Fucking. Awesome. We play that game then." He announced proudly, taking a few more steps back to his men, he gestured at me. " Run."

What? I was confused but seeing how excited he looked I had this sick feeling of realization I so badly wanted to deny. Even worse then was when the blond guy, Mattew, pointed his rifle at me. My heartbeat quickened. Was he going to go all Ramsey Snow on me?

"I'm sorry… " I whimpered, " Did I…. did I just miss something? Why is…um…Mattew pointing his rifle at me?"

"Oh, Mattew here is a mother fucking pro at aiming. My boy used to be in army. You wanna know a secret about him? He never misses. "So he was gonna go Ramsey Snow on me, remind me again what happened to Rickon Stark back then? no… I seem to have used that word a lot lately. Negan didn't move from his spot, which was next to Mattew, this time. He just shook his head from side to side and flashed a big smile. " Rules are easy. You run, he aims. He misses, you win. "

"But you just said he never misses. " I snapped, pleaded and wriggled. And he just stood. How did I find his character charismatic? This guy was a psycho.

"Well ain't there a first time for everything?" Negan laughed at my agony. At me being like a little ant I could be stepped on any moment, I could think of how I've lost my pride and authority if there was any to begin with but I was too scared to feel anything else.

"Just one more thi— " I wanted to reason with him, I wanted to convince him that there was no reason for that but he held a finger at me, interrupting me.

"No talkin' now little Eli. The game just began. " He jerked his head at Mattew and a loud popping sound of gunfire startled me. Negan smirked. "Run kiddo, run!"

Adrenaline rushed through my veins. My heart pounded and my feet flew over the frost soil. I didn't have any other choice. I couldn't reason with Negan. I don't know why I was so stupid to even try that. My survival rate was next to zero, I had to keep running. The sad part was that I still could hear Negan's laughing not only behind me but everywhere, between the trees, among the branches and it drew the dead, like a siren. I ridiculously felt betrayed for that. I know shouldn't have still though I couldn't help but to be upset about it.

Soon, zombies were everywhere around me and I just pushed through them. A rush of heat flooded through my face to my hair. My hair was long, I knew if zombies stretch their arms enough they could grasp it, then it'd be an even painful destiny. I tried to push negative thoughts away. I didn't know where I was going but now the sound of laughter seemed to have subsided. But the shooter hadn't shot me yet so the game was still on.

My head pounded and I could taste fear like the sharp tang of blood. I hoped if I get shot, at least it'd be in head so I die faster, painlessly but that was only wishful thinking. My lungs burned. I tried to keep running but I stumbled.

Shit. shit. shit. My head swam. I was too tired to move my feet. I tried to catch my breath. I couldn't. I was in a small clearance. Zombies still moaning between the trees but hopefully far enough. So pushing on my feet, I stood again. I never really gave up on life. So what if I never really got a chance to truly live? I didn't want to die. Not here. not today. I started running again. Now completely lost, I finally stood, bending on my knees before a shot rang out.

A stream of blood burst out of my right thigh and screaming, I collapsed to the ground. Agonizing pain burned through my thigh. I was shocked. I grabbed it with both hands and my fingers slid in wetness. I knew I ought to be running that he may shot me again but I couldn't. I couldn't. Tears once again started rolling on my cheeks. The moaning was getting closer and closer. I wish he shot me in the head.

" Ohhh no…" I cried as I heard more gunfire. I shut my eyes, unable to fine my voice to scream again. I had expected the round to rip into my chest but when I opened my eyes, I saw that was in fact directed at the zombies. A dizzy rush overtook and a few more minutes later the sound of breaking skulls and splashing blood echoed in my ears as I heard the heavy sound of boots drumming to me.

And I finally saw Negan. I was losing consciousness but I still forced myself to look at his smiling face. oh how I wished I could've wiped it off, replace it with something mutilated, bloodier. He raised his vampire bat at me.

I raised my hands over my head, in a last attempt to plea. " Please..." I suppressed a sob in desperation. I was just shot for real. And all my body was numb. This wasn't a nightmare anymore. It was real.

"But little Eli, you just lost the fucking game. Losers have no place in Sanctuary."

I knew it was all over. Too late. It was much too late. But I was just sad of failing myself. I couldn't forget about all the people who would possibly miss me in real life. Even if I were about to die, I wanted to die in my world not a godforsaken universe I didn't belong to. So I pushed my luck further for the last time.

"I don't belong here… goddamit the world I come from, you're just a fictional character so is everybody else. You're from a TV series based on a comic book. I never really was into comic books and I wasn't a die hard fan of the TV series either. But the moment I saw you as a character, I found you so appealing. So different from all the other villains. So I became an instant fan and even tried to dive into comic more, find more about you… cause you…you were kinda a hero to me. " I was crying. I thought if I admit it out loud, it'll all go away and I'll be able to get back home. Where my life sucked but still I had the chance to live and change it.

"That's a shitloada info inside that pretty heada yours. You have a fucking screw loose, kiddo." Negan beamed.

I didn't care if he made fun of me, I needed to survive." No! I'm not crazy! How can you not believe one supernatural fact about my existence in this universe? Even though you used to be John Winchester. " I bit my tongue. I was screwing this chance up. But I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. "I know it might sound strange! But you have to believe me!"

Negan inspected me for a moment. I didn't know what he was thinking about. His face showed no emotion but I hoped he was contemplating me. The crew also were standing a good few feet away from me. Even though my leg hurt like it was on fire, I was happy how uncanny I might have looked to me. It was a little funny too, how these people fought monsters but were scared of little ol' me, only saying nonsense.

"Sweet fuckin Jes-uhs , Eli, you're funny. " Negan chuckled, pointing the edge of the bat into my vision. "But you got no shit to offer. I mean… I'm a reasonable man but you here— "

"I'll help you… even if you want to dominate the world, I'll help you!" That is too fucking cliché.

"You? A little puppy?" He laughed. "I'm gonna need a feral dog for that." His voice mockingly frightening that caused goosebumps all over my body. "By the way Lucille's a little thirsty. "His fingers gripped tighter around the bat as he raised it high as if ready to swing it across my skull.

"Please!" I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the edge of Lucille on my temple.

I felt foolish and sorry but also furious of not being able to do anything. Moments passed and I found myself unable of speaking. Think good thoughts. Think good thoughts. I don't know why at that moment though I kept seeing Glenn's cut opened head.

"But what do you know… maybe I keep this little puppy." I opened my eyes at Negan's cheerful tone. "Maybe we get to play more, too. " He brought down the bat, bending on his knees, a cruel smirk smearing over his face. " But then again it's all up to Lucille here. "

Was he going to let me live? "I… I'm sure me and Lucille get along alright."

That stopped Negan before he barked out a loud laugh, swining Lucille up onto his shoulder again. "See, she already likes you. " I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the bat. Then he walked away steadily, " Chop chop now kid, let's go home."

I couldn't believe my ears. He wanted me to go with him? I didn't know whether to be jumping up and down in happiness or cower into my collar. But the thing was that, Negan didn't kill me. I was safe. I was alive. At least… for now. I bit my bottom lip and winced at the pain of my shot thigh as two men walked over me and dragged me up.

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