Louis

The sharp metal clanking. The stench of sweat. The light tapping of footsteps. The memories are all fresh on my mind, which takes me back to a time and place where I wasn't so unhappy. But that was so long ago. I'm honestly not sure if my happiness will ever come.

As I look at the man in front of me, I realize it probably won't.

To be honest, there's a part of me that wishes it won't. There's a part of me wanting to wallow in misery for the rest of eternity. Don't ask why. I couldn't tell you.

I suppose it's her, though. Hair the color honey, eyes the color of sapphires. That pink-ish blush in her cheeks, the crinkle in her eyes when she smiles. I'll never forget any of it. It's just stuck there in the back of my head until the end of time. There's a certain part of me that longs to forget her, what we've been through, but there's another part that can't deal with ever forgetting her. Despite her feelings toward me, I love Corinne D'Artagnan, and I will love her until the end of time. There is absolutely no doubt about that.

I could never tell her this, though, even if she does come back (and that is very, very unlikely). She'll never forget James, and she'll never forget how she broke his heart—or, I suppose, we broke his heart.

"Give up!" the man across from me shouts.

I smirk and move in closer, nearly having him lose his balance. "Ah, but look who's talking. It is I, after all, who is winning this fight."

The boy snarls and tries to come back at me. I sigh. Moves so sloppy. It almost makes me feel bad for him when he crashes to the ground. He looks up at me with terrified eyes, and I start laughing.

"Sir…"

I offer him a hand, and he takes it reluctantly. "You're improving, Damon, but remember to always keep your footing. One wrong step could be your downfall."

The man—or boy, I should say—stares down at his feet sheepishly, his hair falling into his eyes. "Yes, sir."

I clap him on the back. "Good. Now, go take a break," I say, noticing a blue figure in the corner. "I have a meeting."

Renée walks toward me slowly, a smirk lining her lips. "He's getting better," she says, looking back at Damon. "Just a few more weeks and he'll be ready. Are you sure he can be trusted, though?"

I nod. "I think so."

Renée narrows her eyes. "Louis." She says my name roughly, exaggerating both syllables more than they needed to be. "You can't 'think' anything. You have to know."

I bring my palm across my forehead, rubbing off some of the sweat. "I know, Renée, but you can't be leary of everyone you meet. That's not how life works."

"I can live my life any way I want, thank you very much."

I sigh. "You know what I mean, Renée. Don't let fear stop you from living."

She rolls her eyes. "Lay off, Louis. I'm fine. I have my kids and husband. That's all I need."

I shrug. "Whatever you say."

"Dismiss Damon," she says. "We need to meet in private."

I do as she says and follow her to my office. Well, my secret office. My real one is not suitable enough for meetings like this.

"Is everything alright?" I ask when we get there, sitting down at my desk..

Renée sits down on a chair across from me, and sighs. "How are the recruits coming?"

I cringe. "All 40 of them? They're… not in the best shape, but they're coming along."

Now that is quite an understatement. Some of the members of the new force refuse even to pick up a sword. I've about had my wits end with them.

"Well, they need to come along more quickly or you need to find some new men."

"What?"

Renée starts rubbing her temple. "I'm going to go insane, Louis. Ever since Warner happened… people have lost trust in you. Some have started to form small rebellions. The Musketeers are loyal to you and only you, I know, but remember what this force is for."

The new force is supposed to be there if the Musketeers ever fail or turn on me so nothing like the Baudin incident happens ever again.

I roll my eyes. "I know what the new force is for, Renée."

"Then get them ready and get them ready fast! Something could happen at any second, and if they're not ready you could die!" She shoots up out of her chair and brings her fist down on the desk. I stare at it boredly, unblinking. "I couldn't forgive myself if I let something happen to you. Corinne couldn't forgive me j if I ever let something happen to you."

I narrow my eyes. "You say trust no one so how could I believe that?"

"You don't. That's the thing. You can't hesitate to kill me if I betray you. Understand that, Louis."

But I don't understand it. I don't see why I can't trust people. I can't live my life in fear anymore. I did that for too long after Corinne left, and there's no way I can go back now. Despite what Renée thinks, I have to trust some, even if trust is a foreign concept.

"You wouldn't do that," I mutter under my breath.

Her eyes narrow dangerously, and I suddenly feel a cold sweat crawling down my spine. "Don't be so sure." She turns on her heels and marches out my door, slamming it behind her.

I sigh, rubbing my temple. She's being ridiculous. I don't understand what her problem is. The odds of her betraying me are less than the odds of Corinne being dead—nonexistent. I know she doesn't want anything to happen to me again, but it's gotten out of hand already. Corinne didn't ask her to ensure my safety, and I know I sure as hell didn't, so what is going on with her?

It's just Renée, I tell myself. She's always been the strong one. You know that.

And she has. Even when I was done, ready to give it all up during those eight years, she was the one that kept me going. She was the one that slapped me every time I gave up the will to live. She was the one that threw a bucket of water on me when I refused to get out of bed. Without her, I'm not sure I'd even be here, honestly.

And I know she's just paranoid. She's never been quite the same since I banished Corinne. (The word comes easier to me now that I've come to terms with what I've done.) I know that there's a part of her that still loathes me for what I did, despite being the one to help me in the first place. It's not surprise, though. I banished her best friend. I may not have had a choice, but I still did it, and she loathes me for it. And… there's a part of me that loathes myself as well.

Every single day I imagine myself changing the course of fate. Standing up to the advisors. Killing them when I had the chance. Listening to my instincts for once and getting rid of Charles Baudin the moment he laid foot in my palace. I keep blaming myself for all this, and maybe I am the one to blame, but I know I need to stop wondering what would've happened if I made a certain choice. In the words of Shakespeare: "Things without all remedy should be without regard: what's done, is done."

(A/N: Pretty short chapter, I admit, but don't worry. There will be a lot more where this came from. Next week'll be short as well, but the ones after that will definitely be longer. Not much else to update you on, so anyway,

REPLIES!

Lasting Violet: Hahaha you and so many others thought it was her son or something. I hadn't even realized how it sounded lol. Anna is a new character, an English duchess who is friends with Corinne. Thanks for reviewing!

Decembra1998: Andrew is such a prick I love him. Not really love, but you know, problematically love hahaha.

PrincessGeekelle: She does deserve happiness, and I want to give her happiness in this story, but I can't promise anything. Literally, 8,000 different scenarios have gone through my mind as to how this story could play out ugh. I think I know how it ends, but it could always change. After all, the ending of AATY wasn't known until like half the story was done.

TorquaTortle: HAHAHA So many of you thought he was her son it's kinda amusing. Omg Marina, Panic!, and Hamilton are literally my life, okay? MY LIFE. All day every day. Aaaaand as an author it shames me to say I have no idea about what happened to Miette lol

z: Honestly, same. Tbh I'm not exactly sure what happened to Miette. We'll see once we get to Paris, which I haven't gotten to at all hahaha.

Thanks for the reviews, everyone!

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