I can still feel their hands grasping me. I can still feel their knives pressed against my throat. I can still feel their breath against my skin.

I suppress a shiver as I curl up into a ball. I'm not going to cry, but I sure as hell want to. I've been threatened before—it's a part of the job, after all—but not like that. I've never felt like that. Usually the threats were measly attempts at my life right before I… I killed them. This was different. He had me. He could've killed me easily. The memory sends a cold sweat down my spine.

But it's okay now. They're gone. But the fear isn't. It's almost as if I feel like they're watching me. Maybe they are. To be honest, I have no idea. I have no idea about anything anymore. Things have just been going downhill ever since my last job, and… I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Please, for my girls. Don't do this.

That had been his last plea before I slit his throat. It's something I wish I could take back so desperately. I had been young and naive. I hadn't realized I could do something else. I guess I still don't realize I could do something else.

But… this is all I've known. This is all I've known for ten years. I can't just change like that. I'm a wanted man in around 13 different countries. When people say to just drop it all… They don't understand what I've done. They don't understand any of what my life has held for me.

Everyone else had a mother and a father and maybe a sibling or two, but me? What do I have? Dead parents? A crazy step-mother? An estranged brother?

No. They don't understand. They'll never understand. And, in a way, I'm glad they don't. It's better if the world leaves me alone. It shouldn't see me. It's too dark inside.

Sighing, I stand up and start to quickly gather up my camp. I need to get to the Channel before sunrise in order to get a boat, and it's a long journey from here. If I want to spare my life to take another I better leave now.

I still can't get her out of my mind. I've never met her, I've never heard of her, but he insists that she be dead. I have no idea why. How much damage could she have done to him to make him want her dead? I've known plenty of women in my 34 years on this earth, and I've never once been inclined to kill one. In fact, I have never. But maybe this man is mental. Maybe's he's wanted in 13 different countries just like I am.

But why not kill her himself? She's just a girl, and a Parisian, at that. That means she wears those expensive dresses and makeup. How could she be able to fight? It's impossible. Girls can't fight. Not like men, anyway.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if I should be so quick to judge. Women have held many important places in history. Joan of Arc, Eleanor of Aquitaine, just to name a few. But still, there have been very few important women that benefitted history the way men have.

But perhaps this girl is one of the exception

Once I'm packed up, I mount my horse and hurry off toward the docks. It's easy to get lost in these parts as the land looks very similar almost everywhere, but after five or so years out here exploring everything, I'm an expert at it.

These are unusual circumstances, I'll admit. Usually I'm the one that threatens people's lives, but I couldn't even get that far with this man. There's something off about him—I could tell within second of seeing him. I can tell that for some reason he's afraid of this girl, which strikes me as odd considering he seems to be able to hold a knife to my—a known and wanted assassin's—throat. It's a little far-fetched if you ask me.

Or maybe I'm underestimating this girl. For all I know she could be an assassin like myself. I could be walking into a death trap the second I look into her eyes. But the odds of that are very unlikely. This girl might just be a noble that he wants to get revenge on after she rejected his hand in marriage, or something like that. I could probably kill her off within a two-minute period.

But that makes my skin crawl. It makes me wonder what exactly she did to deserve this. Despite what I think, it has to be something more than some courting trouble. She had to have done something.

Shaking my head, I focus my attention on the ground up ahead of me, though I really don't need to. I may know this place like the back of my hand, but my horse knows it better. I am thoroughly convinced that all horses subconsciously know their way to Paris.

It's not the first time I've been on this route. I've had many, many hits in Paris in the past twenty-or-so years, and I've come to decide never to tick anyone from there off. I'll just leave that to the fools who get their names on my hit-list.

Despite what many think, I don't enjoy killing people. I've come to an understanding with it, knowing that it seems to be the only thing I'm actually good at, as terrible as that sounds. People do what people have to do, and some don't understand that. Sometimes I don't understand that.

It's not necessarily that I'm ignorant of what I do. I know what I do is wrong. I know what I do is a sin in God's eyes. Then again, I'm also a sin in God's eyes. It's only natural that I give Him another reason to sentence me to an eternity in Hell, right? I wish I could disagree, but as much as I want to, I can't. It's how the world works.

Bastards aren't supposed to be in this world, and therefore neither am I. At least my father was kind enough to give me pity and not exile my mother and I like many would. Then I would just have to survive my… stepmother. I suppose that's what I should've called her at the time. "Bitch" was my favorite name to say in private, but I didn't see her much before she planned my death. Of course, we see how well that panned out for her.

She was such a fool for trying to kill me, and she never realized how observant I actually was. It wasn't hard to figure out. Her motives were very clear. It all just came down to the deed getting done, and, of course, she just chose the wrong stableboy to complete the task.

It was because of that event that I became an assassin. I wasn't my career of choice, but I did what I had to to survive, especially after I was kidnapped and taken to Spain. I was brought to a man, an enemy of France, and started working for him in exchange for my life. One day, around my fifth year working there, I just couldn't take it anymore and killed him myself. From then on I've been alone, and that's how I prefer it.

Someday I'm going to get out of this. Someday I'm going to lead a normal life.

The idea even seems far-fetched in my head. No woman in their right mind would marry a bastard, let alone a wanted criminal. My life is just an endless cycle of nothing, destining me for solitude and loathing, an abomination in the eyes of God.

My happiness is just a silly ideal, and nothing, nothing, could ever change that.

(A/N: Yay! New chapter! Welp, this is my new character, who you will see very much of in the next few dozen chapters. It'll definitely be an exciting ride, so stay tuned!

As always, replies:

Torquatortle: Yeah, he is kinda stupid, but you know, he's been royalty all his life. Doesn't have all the common sense Corinne has lol. Why does everyone keep thinking they have kids? Hahahaha Trust me, I would've said something. "Here Comes the General" HA I LOVE IT. Ik Renée is so perf, my smol child. Also hahahaha Hamilton is trash, but I love him, okay. And I may or may not be listening to Satisfied rn. I'm such trash, I'm sorry.

Kshree: Thank you!

VoodooVanz: I don't really feel like Renée's a bad person for what she did. Louis was pretty much breaking, and she had to help him even though her ways were a little… insensitive. And their relationship obviously has grown throughout the years while working together. Eventually they have to go by their given names. Also, sorry! I wrote out your username, but FanFiction messed up with their weird formatting :/

PrincessGeekelle: Haha you and many others ;) Thanks for reading!

Lasting Violet: Yeah, exactly! Renée has so much on her plate that she can't deal with Louis's shit anymore. She was very patient for a super long time, but now it's just time for everyone to grow up. Which they have. A lot. He's still king! You know, he just has a side job haha.

Decembra1998: Hahaha not sure Harry Potter has enough time to help. He probs has no time with Ginny on his hands tbh. Have I mentioned I love HP? Oh, yeah, I love Harry Potter. Dramione is my s*** lol. Thanks for reading!

blueheart: Thanks so much for reviewing, though reading is always greatly appreciated as well hahaha! I know! I love older Corinne! I didn't realize I did it until recently, actually. Corinne in The New Girl was around 19, I believe, and many of my oneshots were in her twenties. The only one I have her 17 is TLAOM (This Life Ahead of Me). I know! I totally spaced on Miette. Pets are hard to keep track of when you have so much going on :/ Yeah, Louis's still king! He just does that on the side. And, no, he doesn't know if she's alive or not. They haven't been in contact, but he's pretty sure she is. She is Corinne, after all. No problem! I'm happy to be back!

Esmee-lynn: I know! I was so sad as well, but it had to be done. Ugh. Writer problems. No! I have actually wondered about Louis and Renée's relationship a few times! If she wasn't married I'd consider putting them together to see what happened lol. I'd love to hear your theories, too! XD I like to see what other people think will happen. Omg same! I looove Marina, and Savages is one of my favorite songs! I also love Girls from The Family Jewels, Power and Control from Electra Heart, etc. I'm Marina trash. Haha

March98: Thanks so much! I'm estimating over 50 chapters so far. It's gonna be a long one.

Thanks for so many positive reviews!

XOXO

Gossip Girl

JK haha

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