Ever since that little question and the sarcastic answer that followed, Tino and Berwald found themselves edging further and further away. Tino did not secretly declare love to him in the tender hours of the morning, now those golden blasts in the morning were spent quietly watching Berwald. No confessions, no dialogue, just watching the other, hoping a clue on how to escape this new reality would arise. Gatherings of any sort were the very source of awkward eye contact; isolated tasks were met with an appreciative sigh for offering perfect escapes from the other person. Tino did try, dear reader, he tried to create stimulating conversation to indulge Berwald in. He tried trivial matters such as what Berwald desired for his evening meal to more significant matters like Emil's wellbeing, neither provoked a preferred response from Tino's stubborn other half. Tino's speech, gestures, touches, existence were all met with the same response from Berwald- that bitter, all-to-real glare, that was introduced during that troublesome candle-lit meal, and a lack of acknowledgement, even in the form of a grunt.

Tasks the two would often complete together in some dream of marital bliss were now completed separately. Berwald began to wake up early and make his own meals so that he could sliver pass Tino. Tino walked their precious dog by himself, reminiscing about the simple joy of when Berwald would join them and scare people out of Tino's way with his stern expression.

One time when Tino and Hanatamago had reached their favourite park, Tino freed her from her leash and sat back, wondering when he would be free from this oppressive leash of silence that controlled his household. He stared at the rolling green pastures that ceased to end, remembering how the only sound used to be him talking to Berwald. Now the only sound was a happy Hanatamago chasing the wind.

Hanatamago, why can't you understand what is happening? Why can't you tell me the answers?

Toying with the idea of asking for help, Tino cringed with embarrassment. How could he tell Natalya about lover problems? How could he tell Eduard about Berwald without Eduard instantly telling Tino to pack his bags and move in? No. Tino concluded to cure his own issues with his own techniques. He vowed to sort this out, somehow, someway…

Tino returned with a content but exhausted Hanatamago. She instantly took a nap in her bed whilst he approached a hasty Berwald. The other man grabbed his usual long blue coat and his wallet.

"Where are you going?"

"I thought I'd visit Emil and Lukas."

Tino never thought he would be so grateful to hear that blunt voice again. He wanted to hear that voice again.

"I'll be back before you wake up." Berwald added, ruffling Tino's hair. A warm, reassuring emotion gripped Tino's entity, ascending him back to his castle in the sky. His Berwald was still his. His Berwald still cared and that was all that mattered. Tino felt free from the gross daze he had been living in. He felt like he was no longer going through the motions. Simple sensations like the minty aftertaste of tooth paste were enough to make him blissful. He lay in bed that night grinning like an idiot. He told that stupid Mr Silence that everything had sorted itself out. When the little Finnish man woke up to see his favourite man lay next to him in the morning, everything for him was confirmed. Berwald cared enough to come back in time which was all that mattered to Tino.

However this marital bliss did not last long enough. Tino became slightly disturbed when these visit became more and more frequent. Berwald often came back after Tino had finished making lunch, leaving Tino to worry over the other's wellbeing. Sometimes Berwald came back enlightened and therefore treated Tino to a flower or a little gift. Sometimes Berwald came back hungover and so crawled straight to bed, which made Tino quite bitter.

Once Berwald left on the Tuesday, telling Tino not to wait up for him. Tino's heart immediately ached with jealousy and resentment. What was the point of having a roommate if they never stayed? What was so great about Emil's and Lukas' house anyway? Tino wrapped himself in a cocoon of blankets. He let the dog roam in the back garden and then went back to his warm cocoon. He lifted the blanket army over his head to block out the sounds of computers whirring and the light of day, leaving him to his dark little world underneath the covers. A dark little place where he could pretend his Berwald still loved him. Tino lay there for hours, just dreaming and tracing the outlines of his fingers in the dark.

Bleep!

That was his laptop. Tino pinched his nose and wished it would disappear.

Bleep!

Tino unwrapped himself from his little daydream and scooted over to the edge of his bed to grab the laptop. Eduard's name immediately popped up. He pressed the answer button automatically before he could change his mind.

"Hey so Tino, cat festival!"

"What about it?"

"Let's plan one!" Eduard said excitedly, bopping his fists up and down.

"Okay."

"Tino, you don't sound too great. Are you okay?"

"I and Berwald had a row of some sorts. Now he keeps leaving me, living like a lodger." Tino stated aloud blankly. He hated how he felt once the words escaped him. Part of him felt relieved that he could now finally get the attention and sympathy he longed for; part of him hated admitting to himself and the world that his dreamy life was nothing more than a dream. Tino stared and waited for Eduard's response. Eduard answered almost as blankly as Tino had talked before.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You can always stay with me."

"Thanks Eduard."

"I'll see what information I can get from the blogs to help you."

Tino smiled and nodded. Although he was sceptical on what the internet could do to help, he appreciated Eduard's effort.

"You're a good friend."

"No problem."

.

Tino lived in a daze of bitterness as Berwald still had not returned from his visit on that Tuesday. Tino took Hanatamago out but did the bare minimum. He skipped meals and simply grazed on whatever he found in the fridge. He sat in his bed, wondering how the situation had evolved so dramatically from the two desperate but excited men that ran away from Mathias' house together. He tried to create his under-blanket world where he could dream about happier times but somehow the dreams were interrupted rudely by reality. So Tino, consumed from the piercing uncertainty and anxiety of what was going on, kept the door bolted permanently. He had no real reason for wanting to keep the door bolted; no real plan as to what he was planning; he just did it as it helped him feel… Feel more in control somehow… He could not control when Berwald would come back but could definitely control how Berwald was going to get inside.

On the Saturday evening, Hanatamago was asleep in her bed. Tino had been grazing on chocolate and was lying in bed, stroking his plump stomach, hating himself for surrendering to delicious temptation. He then heard Berwald knocking on the door… He wondered on whether or not to be a rational man and unlock the door… Or to ignore him. Tino threw the covers over his head to try and filter out the sound of the banging. Berwald had the keys to the backdoor so he could go around that way, Tino concluded in a detached manner. However this resolve of his quickly evaporated and was substituted in the place of sobs as he could hear Berwald's footsteps rhythmically banging on the stairs as he ran. The Finnish man curled himself into a ball as he could only feel the shame and fear of what Berwald would say as he made his way into the bedroom. He wished that the bundle of blankets and duvets would swallow him up so he would not have to see the anger on Berwald's face. Gasping loudly when a sudden beam of light and cold hit him, Tino sobbed louder and screwed up his eyes. He felt the mattress tilt slightly as Berwald sat next to him.

"It's okay, it's just me."

Berwald stroked Tino's back with his heavy but gentle hands and made hushing noises. Tino waited for a few minutes to savour the attention but then turned over as his sobbing gradually decreased in intensity. He gasped when his eyes met with Berwald's bruised and bloody face.

"Ber?" Tino asked. He truly had no idea how to finish that utterance without sounding ridiculously stupid. Instead he just pointed to Berwald's swollen black eye.

"Some guy attacked me on the way home." Berwald shrugged, wiping the stray drops of blood that spilled from the corner of his mouth, "Tino we need to have a word."

"Go and brush your teeth first."

…

Retrieving plasters and wipes from the kitchen, Tino entered his bedroom to find Berwald already in bed, in an old pair of shorts and a grubby t-shirt.

"Why didn't you wash your face whilst you were in the bathroom?" The Finn asked as he sat down on the bed next to him.

"Why did you bring wipes?"

Silence sank around them. The sudden idea that Berwald wanted to be nursed by Tino played with the latter's thoughts. Tino could not understand why Berwald would want to be cleaned up by another person, unless Berwald just wanted some attention. Was Berwald feeling lonely too? In a house with another man and a dog, did Berwald feel isolated? Tino looked at Berwald with a new perspective; Berwald gazed back, looking as hollow as ever.

Tino positioned himself so he was slightly elevated but still turned to face his odd Swedish acquaintance. It was peculiar being so closed to the other's face. Tino tried to ignore Berwald's features in fear of blushing but he could not help but notice Berwald's eyelashes. He was not expecting his patient's eyelashes to be that long for some odd reason.

"Why did you bolt the door?"

The shorter wiped Berwald's cut lip to make him inhale sharply, buying Tino more time to think. After a few minutes of internally debating about the best excuse, Tino allowed his mouth to spill without the censorship of his brain. He was exhausted of lying; exasperated of trying to conceal his true intentions. If he wanted Berwald to feel less isolated then Tino had to be more open to him, at least that is what Tino concluded. The larger man began to turn away but faced Tino once the first word left his mouth.

"I don't like it when you leave me. I get so lonely and I worry about you and then when you don't come home I feel betrayed."

It all came out in such a rush that, when Tino studied his love's expression, Berwald blinked a few times. Just when Tino was about to open his mouth again, Berwald interrupted.

"Okay. I won't leave."

The two of them smiled, even if Berwald's smile was barely distinguishable from his usual frown, and then Tino continued to dab softly at Berwald's cuts and bruises. A sense of hope washed through Tino's existence. His castle was still intact; his modest but blissful life with his fluffy dog and tall companion continued.

"Should I tell the police?" Tino asked whilst searching through the plaster box for a small plaster. Berwald shook his head defiantly but patted Tino's shoulder softly. Tino always adored how Berwald patted him as if he was a fragile porcelain doll.

"Next time I'll be more careful."

.

The visits to Emil's and Lukas' house became less frequent, much to Tino's pleasure. When Berwald did go, he often came back earlier than he had promised to Tino. Our little Finnish friend was simply blissful. He laughed and rambled to Berwald, discussing the cat festival he was planning with Eduard and how Hanatamago was progressing with her training. Berwald nodded and made the odd appreciative grunt, which made the world bright and welcoming in Tino's eyes. Morning confessions of love returned, comfortable silence at the dining table was part of general life. They drank hot chocolate together in the evenings, enjoying the other's presence. They watched television and argued over who got the remote control (by argue I mean Berwald kept the remote control out of Tino's reach until Tino had bribed him with food). Their days were quiet but content, if not slightly lacking in substance.

.

Before I continue to the next chapter of our tale, I would like to tell the reader of one quirky incident that happened. Tino was just about to climb into bed when Berwald, already tucked in, caught him off guard.

"Tino, jump."

The Finn, not expecting the sudden command, jumped but landed clumsily on the side of his foot.

"Tino, take off your shirt." Berwald commanded immediately after Tino's feet touched the ground.

Tino unbuttoned his shirt quickly but became shy. He grabbed a pillow and covered himself up as soon as the last button was undone. His cheeks flared up as he stood in front of the bed. He loathed the idea of Berwald looking at his pudgy arms and his round, pale shoulders. He hated the idea that Berwald was going to judge him. Tino, despite being quite strong, did not have an athlete's physique. A few minutes passed of the two staring at each other, until Berwald spoke up.

"If I bought you a dress, would you wear it?"

Tino hugged the pillow to his chest and stared at it. What was Berwald doing? Would Tino actually wear a dress?

"Hmmm, I think so. Maybe it depends on the dress," Tino paused for thought, avoiding Berwald's face, "I wouldn't wear one of those hourglass dresses that Feliks likes. Oh! I'd totally wear those frilly dresses Kiku makes! Yeah…"

The smaller nation looked up to the ceiling and dreamed about wearing a white frilly dress with little pale blue bows on it. Maybe Berwald could wear a matching pale blue suit?

"OK."

Tino looked back down at the pillow in his arms.

"Can I put my shirt back on now?"

Berwald shook his head at Tino. Tino felt something inside him die… Probably his dignity. Instead of arguing about it, Tino crawled into bed with his arms still around the pillow. He lay down and hugged his pillow, refusing to turn around to look at his Swedish acquaintance. He heard Berwald sigh behind him. The Finn realised that his back was not covered and so whipped around to save himself from further embarrassment. Berwald sighed again and ruffled Tino's hair softly.

"I was joking."

Tino lowered his eyes at him and squeezed his pillow to release his anger. Tino shoved his shirt on and fastened the buttons up with record speed. But as he lay next to Berwald, the little Finn schemed. He decided that he was going to vanquish the juxtaposition between his awkward reality with Berwald and his dream castle in the sky. He decided he was going to make his daydreams and fantasies a reality. Firstly he was going to tell Berwald how he felt…

…Poor Tino.

Author's Notes: Berwald's weird commands do actually have a purpose, however you have to wait until I have finished writing "The Popular Silence" to find out why. Hopefully "The Popular Silence" will be Berwald's side of the argument and "The Grotesque Silence" will be Mathias' side of the argument.