Such Sweet Sorrow

Summer 2013:

Peter: Claire had been avoiding me for weeks. I had pushed her from my life and only had myself to blame.

"Hello?" Peter Petrelli called out a greeting as he arrived home. "Anyone?" His voice bounced around him as there was no reply. He sighed and continued through the entrance way towards the kitchen. He placed his satchel on the bench top and headed for the fridge. He was searching for a refreshing beverage when a sound stopped him. Running water. Now aware that someone else was home, he moved towards the noise. It was coming from the downstairs bathroom. The door swung open as he reached out to knock. He was suddenly face to face with an ashen-faced Claire.

Her wide eyes met his with surprise. "S-Sorry. I didn't realise anyone was home." She slipped past him.

"I'm . . ." The words caught in his throat as he watched her rapidly disappear from view.

He stepped into the bathroom and frowned at his reflection. "Hi Claire. How are you? Yeah, that would have been better . . ." "Fool" he spat the words at himself in anger. "She hates you." "It wouldn't be the first time . . ." He sighed and closed his eyes. "Get it together, Peter." He turned to go when something caught his eye. A partially obscured box in the rubbish bin. The words on the packaging jumped out at him. Clearblue Easy. Soft dark hair flopped into his eyes. Swiftly, he tucked the wayward strand behind his ear and focused his vision. Positive. "Oh Claire," he murmured her name, a million thoughts racing through his mind.

Victor Armstrong's eyes widened as he took in her reply. "Are we really doing this?"

Claire Petrelli nodded, unable to wipe the grin from her face. "Yes."

He swept her up into his arms, twirling her lithe body slowly. "You are truly amazing," he breathed.

Suddenly something that was only casual had become something more. It was then that Claire felt it. That small tingle in the very pit of her stomach. A growing happiness. Her life was finally moving forward and she was moving on.

Claire: Peter and Caitlin's engagement party was held in late August. With trepidation I prepared myself for an evening of avoiding Peter, but knowing he would find out my secret eventually.

Claire took a deep breath and held it. She slid the silky ivory dress over her shoulders, letting the fabric skim down her slender figure. She adjusted the plunging neckline to make sure it was covering all that it needed and revealing everything it should. Delicately, she smoothed the fabric across her lower abdomen. She posed in front of her full length mirror and admired the way the dress clung to the curves of her bust and hips.

"Perfect," she murmured. She slipped her feet into a pair of ivory heels and left the bedroom in search of Victor.

He was fidgeting with his bow-tie in a hallway mirror when she approached. His face lit up when he saw her. "You look gorgeous, Claire. Wow."

She smiled nervously at his compliment. "Thanks." She took his arm and together they headed out to join the party.

Peter was alone when Claire and Victor entered the ballroom. Guiltily, he ogled the handsome couple from a distance. Feelings of inadequacy rose through him as he observed Victor's tall stature. But, it was Claire with whom his tawny eyes spent the most time. Her beauty was so jaw dropping it caused him physical pain just to look at her. He massaged his heart through his tuxedo jacket, unable to tear his eyes away. "I'm going to Hell."

The number of guests swelled rapidly and both Peter and Claire managed to successfully mingle without coming into close contact with the other. Peter busied himself accepting the many congratulations that were offered. For a time he was able to forget about Claire, but it would not last.

"Good evening everyone. Welcome." A hush fell over the guests as Nathan stood posed to speak, champagne flute in hand. "I want to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight to celebrate the engagement of Peter and Caitlin. I also want to take this opportunity to announce that as of today, my youngest son, Monty is officially in remission."

A pleasant murmur spread through the crowd at the news. Relief flooded through Claire no matter how many times she heard the words. She smiled at Nathan as he continued.

"But, of course, tonight belongs to Peter and Caitlin. So, please join me in wishing them every happiness in their life together." He raised his glass to the smiling couple. "Peter and Caitlin."

"To Peter and Caitlin," the words echoed around the room as the party guests participated in the toast. Moments later the music and celebration resumed.

Peter finally gave in and let his darkened eyes search the room until he found Claire in the crowd. She was hold hands with Victor, oblivious to everyone around her. A swirl of anger, guilt, regret and lust churned inside his stomach. His envious eyes travelled the length of her body until they came to rest on her stomach. "A baby . . . Victor's baby." His sorrowful heart wept at the realisation she would never be his.

"Peter, is everything okay?" Caitlin asked as he spun her around the dance floor.

"Of course," he stated, confidently masking the mournful feeling in his soul.

"It's just you seem a little," she searched for the right word, "troubled."

He frowned and tried to laugh it off. "You know I hate these parties."

Caitlin nodded silently, fearing there was more to his recent puzzling behaviour than he was letting on. She felt him stiffen in her arms and followed his gaze towards a woman sitting alone. The ravishing blonde in the stunning ivory dress. Discontent churned in her stomach.

Claire sat alone at a table, taking small sips of water from a glass. Her eyes followed the couples on the dance floor. She would normally spend most of her time on the dance floor at a Petrelli party. It was her way of avoiding the monotonous conversation with other guests. Peter was the one who normally kept her company, but tonight she was trying her best to avoid any awkward confrontations. Victor was not as good a dancer as Peter, but he did his best. The crowd of dancing couples thinned and Peter and Caitlin came into view. Peter held his fiance close. Both were smiling, eyes on each other as they moved as one. The picture of love. Surprisingly, there was no sadness or regret when Claire looked at them. Just an emptiness. "The sooner I am out of here the better." She looked away, unaware of the disquiet she had caused between the loving couple.

"You can't keep it from them forever, Claire," Victor lectured.

"I know that," she said, "It's just that tonight probably isn't the best time."

"The best time for what?" Heidi asked. She, Peter and Caitlin had suddenly appeared next to them.

Claire hesitated, fearing the reaction to her news.

"She's pregnant," Peter blurted out, unable to contain himself any longer.

"What?" Claire swiveled her head to meet Peter's gaze.

"Claire?" Victor questioned her.

"What?" Claire demanded again, "I'm not pregnant."

"Give it up, Claire. I found the test." Peter leaned forward as he spoke, hands on his hips.

"Peter," Caitlin began, "maybe we should-"

"What test?" Victor interrupted. Confused, his eyes shot from Claire to Peter and back again. "Claire, what is this all about?"

Nathan approached with speed when he heard raised voices. "What's going on here?" he hissed.

"It's not Claire," Heidi said quickly, before anyone else could get a word in. Her blue eyes sparkled. "The test. It's mine."

Furious green eyes glared in Peter's direction. Caitlin shifted her weight, uncomfortably aware of the mounting tension.

"What test?" Nathan joined in the confusion.

"I'm pregnant," Heidi admitted. Caitlin nodded her agreement. Nathan grinned and pulled his wife close. It was a sudden and intimate embrace.

"See," Claire spat sarcastically, before turning to Heidi and Nathan, "I'm so happy for you!"

Peter was red-faced. He furrowed his brow. "I-I just thought . . ." "Heidi! Of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

Heidi smiled shyly as she pulled away from Nathan. Claire was also smiling as she moved to congratulate Heidi with a hug.

Caitlin pulled on Peter's arm. "I was trying to tell you . . ."

"Geez, Peter. You had me going for a while there." Victor was relieved the confusion had been resolved. "Congratulations."

"What was your news?" Heidi asked.

"Well," Victor cleared his throat, "I've asked Claire to move to Paris with me and she said yes."

"Oh Claire, that's wonderful news." Heidi's smile was genuine. "We'll miss you of course."

"I love Paris, but it wasn't a easy decision," Claire explained as she watched Nathan shake Victor's hand.

"You're moving?" Peter swallowed hard, a deep regret forming in his chest. He stood frozen, unable to speak, as his world took yet another blow. Claire ignored him as she chatted ecstatically with those around him. He withdrew himself rapidly from the group, leaving a worried Caitlin trailing behind.

Peter: I had already made a complete fool of myself and I was about to do it again. I wanted her to stay; needed her to stay. She was moving on and had no reason to stay in New York. After all that had happened, I was still stupidly unable to give her that reason.

With the poise of a 1940s screen goddess, Claire stood alone on the balcony. Eyes into the sky. Peter stopped when he saw her. No matter how many times she took his breath away, he still found it so unexpected. He wondered if she was still angry at him. He wouldn't blame her if she was.

"Can you believe Monty's recovery?" he asked, quietly fearful of her reply. He carefully positioned himself at the railing next to her. It was the first time they had been alone in weeks. Her perfume wafted gently on the night air making him light headed.

She shook her head. "Barely. It's like a dream." She turned to face him. "It's because of you. Your blood."

"Who would have thought?" he mused.

"There is still so much we have to learn about our powers. Mohinder must be loving this."

"Yes. The sky's the limit in terms of what we can do with disease research now."

"I-I'm sorry. For before . . . for-"

She cut him off with a shrug of her shoulders. "It's okay."

A silence descended slowly between them. He shoved his hands into his pockets and watched her nervously. She had returned to looking back out into the dark night. Her golden hair fluttered softly on the breeze. In slow motion she turned back to him and he was suddenly reliving their history. Union Wells High, Claire's first New York Winter, Prom, Columbia, long distance phone calls, holding her in his arms as they slept, all the 'goodbyes' and the 'welcome homes'. Every moment he had loved her. Through the sorrow and the laughter, he had always loved her.

"Congratulations . . . Pete?" her green eyes were staring, searching his own.

"Sorry. I just lost myself in you," he whispered huskily.

She closed her eyes slowly. "Don't-" she whispered.

"Why are you leaving?"

"My life is in Paris."

"When?" he choked.

"If you're thinking about the wedding, don't worry. I'll be back. I'll do everything I have to. Bridesmaid. All of it."

"But, why now?"

"Victor asked. I said said." Claire was very matter-of-fact. No emotion in her voice.

Peter gripped the railing and stared at the floor. "How did we get here?" he whispered.

"Pete-" her eyes betraying a sudden sympathy. She wanted to touch him. Hold him. Comfort him. She forced herself to hold back.

"If I could have said or done things differently, would you stay?"

"We tried, Pete. Whatever we had, it's gone."

"I'm sorry. For everything I ever said that hurt you, I'm so, so sorry, Claire."

"I know."

"Maybe, if you stayed. We could be friends again." Desperately, he fought his emotions. Searching for the right words, but they did not come.

"Don't do this to yourself." He watched her turn to leave.

"Claire. Wait. Please. I'm sorry. Whatever I have to do to make this better . . . I'll do it."

"But you can't do anything. Not this time."

"Why?"

She paused and turned her head back to him. "Because I'm already gone."

The beauty in ivory moved out of his reach, leaving only the sound her ivory heels fading into the distance. He was helpless as she left him for the last time.

Peter: Twenty three years old and I can love her without fear. It is now a love that cannot be returned and only the guilt of our ruined relationship remains.

Peter: Claire's departure left me heartbroken. I tried to deny it and hide it from everyone, including myself. It was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened.

"I don't want to be the other woman in your life anymore, Peter. Whether she's here or halfway across the world, she's always going to be in your heart. I just can't compete with that anymore."

"Caitlin . . . Please don't."

"I have to do this, Peter. For both of us."

"I do love you."

"I know," she let her words hang in the air before quietly slipping out the door and into the waiting taxi.

Peter watched her leave. He thought about going after her, but his heart knew she was right. He loved Claire more than ever and he'd driven her out of his life. He only had himself to blame. He dropped slowly to his knees. Pale face and anguished eyes. Pain ripped through his veins as every cell in his body cursing him for his stupidity.

In the next chapter: Volume Seven: Secrets of the Heart: Claire makes her choice. Will she return to Paris with Victor or realise she truly loves Peter and risk it all to stay with him in New York?

A/N: In the next chapter we return to the cliffhanger from Volume One: With Every Heart Beat. Thanks for reading. Pip :)