Author's Note: Hello my handsome cupcakes :) People probably hate me for ending the last chapter in such an angsty way, but no worries, I'm fixing that issue. Just because I'm fourteen doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing :P I usually write all of my chapters within like twenty minutes, but this literally took me an entire week of writing it paragraph by paragraph, abandoning ideas and discovering new ways to make the same outcome that I intended to make. Hopefully yous don't think it sucks as much as I think it sucks. Anyways, enjoy :D

Tears of a Mourning Bookworm

Chapter Thirteen: Beginning of Healing

The world froze. Someone turned the temperature down to absolute zero. Harry's brain stopped thinking. His hands stopped shaking. The other students in the Great Hall did not continue their vast conversation. Everything was still.

Then suddenly, Harry was standing outside of the Hospital Wing. Ginny and Ron were arguing about something but he could not hear them. The only sound that met his ears was the rapid beating of his heart.

It wasn't until Ron finally shook Harry's shoulders violently that he regained complete hearing. However, the rest of his body remained numb.

"They're not letting us inside because she hasn't told anyone to come in here," Ron said, glaring at the door in mid-sentence.

"It's really cruel for them to do this to us," Ginny commented as she folded her arms across her chest.

Harry was barely paying attention to them. His gaze bore into the door to the Hospital Wing. He longed for Hermione more and more as each second passed. Behind that door, she was probably laying down on a bed and closing her eyes, deep in thought. She would be wrapped in bandages and Markovitch would insist on more sessions.

Hermione probably needed Harry as much as he needed her.

It hurt to remember that she broke it off with him two weeks ago. Her reason wasn't exactly clear, but Harry trusted her judgement and tried to go along with it. He assumed that she would apalogize for her irrational behavior and they'd pass their rough patch.

But suicide? Hermione tried to kill herself. Suicide? She must've lost her marbles to try to actually kill herself. To end it all. While Harry, of all people, understood why suicide would sometimes seem like an easy way out, he never imagined Hermione would try to kill herself. There had to be some kind of explanation behind her actions.

A few minutes later, the Hospital Wing's grand door opened and Professor McGonagall emerged. "Potter," she said abruptly, completely ignoring the presence of the Weasleys. "Come here." She gestured her hand towards the light that erupted from behind the door.

Harry froze for a moment before making his way after the professor. His heart beat was faster than ever. What was he going to say to Hermione? How was she going to react to him?

What he saw did not help slowing down his heart whatsoever. Hermione's beautiful brown eyes were wide open. Her lips were spread apart as though she was going to say something, and her chin trembled, threatening a rush of tears.

"Harry," she whispered.

"Hermione," he said, louder than was necessary. He ran to her side and immediately held her hand in his. Just as he was about to say something, she shook her head.

"Can we talk about this later?" she asked.

"Later? Hermione, you just --"

"It's not like that, I swear! Please...you have to understand...it'll make sense later," Hermione tried to reason.

Before he could ask for any details, she began sobbing. "I'm so sorry...I'm sorry, Harry, I really am. I swear it's not what it seemed to be. You hate me..."

"Don't be stupid," he said, trying to get even a faint chuckle out of her. "I'd never hate you."

While Harry didn't hate her, he had to admit to himself that his numbness was being replaced by anger. She tried to leave the world forever. Tried to leave him. Wouldn't she have taken that into account? Did she care about him, or did she really mean it when she broke it off? Was there no misunderstanding?

"I'll explain later. There's too many people everywhere...they won't leave me alone," Hermione said in the most innocent voice Harry had ever heard; it didn't even sound like she was attempting it. It was just natural given the emotions she was experiencing. "I promise you, I will explain later." She squeezed his hand tightly.

Harry sighed. "I just want to know why you did it. I need to know. I can't wait."

"I'm so sorry..." Hermione started to sob again.

He would've yelled at her the moment he walked into the Hospital Wing, but with the look on her face and the innocence that surrounded her, there was no way he could harm her. He wanted to actually do the opposite. Tears spilled out of Hermione's brown eyes as her chin shook underneath the lips that Harry so desperately wanted to kiss now.

"Potter, Ms. Markovitch needs to ask you a few questions about Miss Granger," McGonagall said, breaking his train of thought.

"W-What? Markovitch?" he stuttered.

"Yes," she replied through gritted teeth. Her expression was as painful as his own.

"Right this way, Mr. Potter," a harsh voice beckoned. It was as though she was in the process of luring him to a dark lair.

Harry looked back at Hermione. She bit her lip. At least Markovitch would be away from her for a little bit. He gave her hand one last squeeze and followed the Comforter.

She led him to her office, which he had remembered from reluctantly leading Hermione there for her sessions. Ron and Ginny ran to him the moment the Hospital Wing door had opened.

Quickly thinking, he told Ginny to clear out any rumors of Hermione attempting suicide (the words took a while to make their way out of his throat clearly) and redeem them with the rumor that she had fallen down the stairs on her way to the Great Hall. With her condition, it would be understandable as to why she'd need care in the Hospital Wing. Ginny nodded and rushed off to complete her duty. Harry, realizing that he was too far behind Markovitch, ended up ignoring Ron's questions about how Hermione was.

Eliza Markovitch's office was dark. There was no artificial lighting, and even the window seemed to have a filter that allowed only a small amount of light into the room. There was nothing on the walls, which rid Harry of an opportunity to be distracted from the evil woman who had just placed herself in a grand chair that matched her dark hair.

"Sit," she ordered.

Harry gave her a glare and reluctantly obeyed. The chair she pointed to looked incredibly uncomfortable, and when he sat down, he realized it was even worse than how it looked. The wood underneath him was barely any support; he clutched onto the weak arms of the chair tightly. Trying to not fall out of the chair would suit as something to be distracted with.

"Now," Markovitch began in a voice deeper than her normal pitch, "I understand that you and Miss Granger are a couple?"

"It's complicated," he replied.

She smiled. It wasn't a cheery gesture of reassurance. Her smile was simply a product of sick pleasure from the fact that Harry didn't immediately respond with 'yes'.

"How so?"

"That's none of your business," Harry snapped.

Markovitch laughed a deep, vicious laugh. "Fair enough. I'm assuming that it's because of the 'complications' of your relationship that caused her to try to kill herself."

Harry dug his nails into the arms of the chair he sat in. "What are you trying to accomplish here?"

"We need to put these things on record. Attempted suicide goes down in the books, and any type of motive is of our...best interest."

"Our meaning Death Eaters?" Harry felt the anger rising within him.

"How dare you!" she gasped. "I would never affiliate myself with such vile people."

"Funny, you kind of seem like one," he said ferociously as his nails dug into the arms further.

This time, Markovitch seemed a bit pleased. "Believe what you'd like. What I was getting at is that motives for attempted suicide are important. We want to counsel the suicidal person --"

"Hermione is not suicidal!" he blurted out. "Just because she tried once doesn't mean that she's, like, in some kind of state --"

"By definition of the Ministry, she is suicidal," Markovitch said without a flinch. Before Harry could argue some more, she continued. "Miss Granger could've had other motivations as well, of course."

"For a Comforter, you're incredibly stupid, you know," Harry said as he roughly got to his feet. "You know exactly what Hermione's been through, yet you're wondering why she tried to kill herself? Maybe if you actually seemed to care about her then she would've been better. You could've concluded all of this yourself. You didn't need me to tell you."

Markovitch tilted her head, unphased. "My job requires me to interrogate people who interact with the ones I Comfort."

"If that's the case, I'll be leaving now," Harry said as he turned on his heels. He felt extremely used; and now he would make sure that Hermione's other friends would never talk to Markovitch. If the woman would get fired for it, his flaming goal would be accomplished.

"He survived!" a voice a bit too high-pitched to belong to a male screamed the moment Harry stormed out of Markovitch's office. A small man standing in a painting – that had been placed on the wall opposite the office – had said it. Harry shrugged as he took off to the Hospital Wing.

The moment he appeared in the corridor leading to the Wing's door, Ron and Ginny ran to his side.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Harry replied gruffly. After receiving glares from them, he continued with, "At least she was away from Hermione for that long."

"An hour," Ginny whispered.

Harry raised his right eyebrow. An hour? Quickly feeling some kind of form of an adrenaline rush, Harry bolted to the door. He wanted to see Hermione and make sure that Markovitch didn't get near her. Turning quickly on his heels, he added, "Don't speak to Markovitch. She's using us to improve her job performance, and nobody wants that."

They nodded in unison. Ron opened his mouth to say something, but before words could be formed, Harry disappeared past the door.

Harry was surprised to see only McGonagall standing beside Hermione. She looked up at him. "She's physically okay. The Madame's work here is done for now, so I'll just leave and set up privacy curtains."

Without a second's hesitation, the professor swiftly strolled out of the Hospital Wing, her wand waving behind her and closing the curtains around Hermione and Harry.

He was finally able to really concentrate on Hermione's appearance. His green eyes roamed her facial features; she was tragically beautiful. Her embarrassed eyes were the familiar warm brown color that he had grown to adore. Her red cheeks were stained with previous tears and her nose wrinkled now and then. Hermione's hair was messier than usual, but that wasn't anyone's concern. Her small, thin hands shook against the bedsheets underneath them. The lips that he had kissed so many times trembled from the nervous movement of her chin.

"Why did you do it?" Harry asked plainly, taking one shaking hand into his own.

She shivered from his touch and cleared her throat. "I swear, I didn't fully try to – try to – kill myself. I swear, you have to believe me!" she said in a panicky tone.

"Shh, shh, Hermione, okay, just explain to me what happened," Harry said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

Hermione seemed to relax a bit as she settled her shoulders more comfortably into her pillow. "I always venture off to the bathroom when I'm upset because nobody would bother to look for me there. There was this piece of glass on the floor..."

Harry squeezed her hand and she continued. "I didn't mean for it to hit a fatal artery. Just, at that moment, I was crying and thinking about my parents and what the Death Eaters did to them, and what they did to me, and how was I going to recover from that? How was I going to be healed? And then breaking up with you...It was my fault, I know, but I figured that it wouldn't last long anyways and I could've spared from heartbreak. But it just made it worse. I wanted to fix things, but I – I just felt so helpless and...and I was only trying it out, I swear! I didn't want to actually end it all. I just wanted to see if physical pain would relieve the emotional pain."

Hermione was in tears. With her free hand she wiped her beautiful eyes.

"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry..." she repeated as she sobbed.

Harry never wanted to see her like this again. There had to be some way he could help her, heal her from this pain. He could fix this. He could restore their romantic relationship and prove to her that he cared about her. Loved her.

"Hermione, it's not your fault that those bastards hurt you and your parents, so it's most definitely not your fault for being in pain afterwards. When you broke up with me --" the words struck even him "-- you weren't thinking straight. I could see how you'd think it wouldn't work, but the experience in the relationship is what matters. Look at me."

She blinked quickly and returned her watery eyes to his gaze. He squeezed her hands even tighter. "I need you and I can't imagine continuing my life from here without you being at my side. You don't even know how much I care about you. I've always thought of you as just a friend until I realized how much we both need each other. Hermione Granger, you can't even begin to understand how much I love you."

–

Hermione cried harder than ever, but this time they were tears of joy. Harry just told her the most heartfelt words that she'd ever heard him speak. He loved her. There was a sensation in her heart that, for once, wasn't one of breaking but a rapid beating from happiness. It increased when Harry leaned down to kiss her.

It was proof that she was beginning to be healed.

Author's Note: If you're thinking this is the end of the story, it sure as hell is not! I love this story too much to end it now; and some ends need to be tied. That Markovitch exchange before might've seemed completely pointless but you'll see how that will make sense later. Hopefully. Thanks for reading :)