Chapter 10: A not so very happy trip to Hogwarts

"Why on earth are you even asking me this?"

Annoyance filled me to the very core, threatening to overtake me any second.

"Because he's your brother! We want you to look after him." Mom explained calmly.

Usually I would always be this super-understanding, everything's alright person, but this was getting stupid.

"Harry can take care of himself! He's not a baby anymore, mom!"

I took a sharp breath to calm myself down. Mom's stupidity drove me crazy! Everyone was just so very over-protective over Harry, even more than they were over Selena, Emily and Daniel.

"At least keep an eye on him, love. Make sure he doesn't end up in trouble."

I gave up and nodded, but I couldn't really look mom in the eye afterwards.

The house was in total chaos! Both mom and dad was helping Harry to do some last minute packing. Typical him, never planning too far ahead. It left me standing there, in the living room by the fireplace, waiting. Selena and Emily was outside in the backyard playing with Daniel. Slowly I closed my eyes, listening to all the different noises around me. I could hear the faint sound of childrens laughter from outside. I could hear the soft purring of the cat from the sofa not too far away from me. The continuos ticking of the kitchen clock was also hanging in the air. It made me restless. Eventually I got tired of just standing there in the middle of the room, and began leaning onto the side of the fireplace. It made me feel cold.
Maybe almost 45 minutes later I could hear people approaching. They had finished packing at last! Relief washed through me at this. It only meant that I would get to school faster, safe behind the walls of Hogwarts. This time it was Remus who was watching Selena, Emily and Daniel.
Dad took our suitcases through the floo network just before we went through. Of course, the platform was packed seeing that we arrived there only 10 minutes before the train would be leaving. Continously I would snap at dad to hurry up, all the while trying to find an empty compartment. There was absolutely no chance that I would be sitting with Harry. I might love him, and I cared for him deeply, but I would never hang out with him voluntarily. We were just too different from each other!
Suddenly I spotted one, smirking to myself as I did.

"Mom, dad, I have to go" as fast as possible I kissed both of them on the cheek, and gave mom a short I was off, my suitcase dragged behind me, hoping that it would still be empty. Luckily it was!

My brain hadn't really relaxed since I had left Hogwarts before the summer holiday, but the minute the train started moving, I felt such an enormous relief! For a minute all I did was sitting there with my eyes closed, collecting all of my hundreds of thoughts. I finally felt like I was on the right track again!
For quite a while I just sat there silently, studying the passing landscape. That was one of the few things that I would never, ever get tired of doing. I could just sit like that for hours studying the passing colours of green, yellow, blue and grey. One kinda saw it all just by watching it.
A soft cack, cack, cack on the window suddenly claimed my attention. My eyes studies the source for a while, before registrating the fast shape of a bird, maybe an owl. I got up from the seat to open the window for it to come in. Graceful as a feather it landed on my left knee, a yellowish envelope placed in it's beak. I guess it had been ordered to wait for an reply, since it didn't fly out of the window again, but rested itself on the top of the self opposite me. Curious as always, I opened the letter. I found a very familiar writing waiting for me there:

Miss Potter,

This year we shall continue with your special "toturing" classes each Tuesday and Thursday. There will probably be another day too, but that is to be discussed between the two of us. I have yet to decide which day will fit me the best. All I wish to know is if you have had any hard time with your troubles this summer? Is there anything that you would like to share with me that is related to your condition? Anything besides your condition that you wish to discuss?
My office, after the Sorting Seremony.

S. Snape

I placed the letter down onto my lap, my lips growing into a small smile. My fingertips was fondling the piece of paper, feeling it's smoothness. I didn't really know how to answer to it.
From the growing darkness I managed to guess that it was only about 2 hours till we'd be at Hogwarts. I got up, standing on my tiptoes to reach inside the suitcase for my school uniform. When I had gotten it down, I locked the compartment door and pulled the curtains over. Even after I did that, I didn't feel safe. It was kinda the same feeling that you get when you go out shopping, and have to try on clothes in the dressing rooms. You don't really feel safe. Clothes was easy, my hair was a completely different story. I needed a mirror for that. The only room in the entire train that had mirrors was the bathrooms. That's why I headed there with slow and steady steps. Continously I would bump into people, never checking if I knew them. I would rather not know if I knew any of them.
Arriving at the nearest bathroom, I quickly got inside. It was actually quite lucky that I was so small! The room seemed so much bigger that way.

"What to do?" I whispered to myself as I looked into the mirror.

In the end I decided on a simple ponytail since I didn't bother to do anything else. My hair had grown so thick over the past three years that I had problems keeping it to look nice. It really made me frustrated. I took another look in the mirror. What met me there was shocking, even to me. I looked like a total mess! Maybe I should try sleeping more? I began heading back towards my compartment, being pleased at myself for looking decent once again. I think that I might have spotted Harry together with a red headed boy, but I couldn't really be sure. All the same, it made me smile softly to myself.
Only three doors from my compartment did I come to a sudden half. There, not too far in front of me, stood a group of 7 other Slytherins. I will never forget those faces and the fear that they brought to me. But of course, only I was stupid enough to try my own luck like that. With shaky steps I approached them, hoping and wishing that they wouldn't notice me. That was impossible, of course. It was always noticed.

"Hey, Potty! How's the head? Had any troubles keeping on your feet lately?" The biggest of them snorted over to me.

The others laughter followed soon behind. Haunting me. I chose not to answer.

"Too brain dead to even speak now, are we?" Mira, one of the girls I shared dormitory with spit out.

Once again, I ignored them. I had absolutely no idea about how I might look like from the outside, but my insides were screaming. Yelling at myself to not simply accept such hate.
I was getting close now, almost a meter away. They were bottling up the whole corridor, no one could get through on either side. There was no prefects in sight. No outside help was coming.

"We were just discussing you the other day, Potty!" One of the oldest of them said, a boy with little and blonde hair and a very round face.

For once I let myself look up. It was almost impossible not to do so now, seeing that I was so very close to them.

"Whether you was as ugly as before this year or uglier." The boy continued, an evil grin on his face. "Most of them bet before, but I bet uglier now. Guess that I was right!"

The other Slytherins started hulking of laughter. The boy looked like a monkey while doing so. I could feel both anger and sadness wash through me. I couldn't really tell which emotion was the dominant one.

"Leave me alone..." I managed to whispered, but I knew that I was making too little noise.. I could barely hear myself.

"What was that, Potty?" Another one of the boys asked. This one had thick eyebrows and fluffy hair. He didn't look like a nice person at all.

"Leave me the bloody hell alone!" this time it came out as a scream, and I'm sure that half the train heard it.

It happened so quickly that I couldn't quite understand everything. All of a sudden I was lying on the floor, feeling terribly dizzy. At first my eyesight was blurry, but after a couple of seconds it turned better. I still had troubles seeing stuff, but I could make out forms by then. In front of me I could see the boy, two older students holding him back. From my spot on the floor I could also pot blood on his right hand. My hands immediately went to my face. I regret it the second my hand touched my nose. Blood was flowing freely from it, and from the newly detected pain I could only imagine the damage. I felt like I was trapped under water. Everything was all blurry, and nothing felt natural. Not even my own movements. Shakily I got up from the floor, supporting myself against the walls. I could barely believe the amount of blood that was still washing out of my nose. I pushed myself past the other students. I didn't even bother to see who it was. In the end I managed to get back to my compartment. My very first thought was to stop the bleeding. I climbed up to once again reach into my suitcase, trying to blindly find something that I didn't care too much about. It all ended up on a bright pink t-shirt that I had gotten from Sirius. I held it so thightly against my nose that it hurt, but at least it stopped the bleeding!
As my head cleared up a bit, I noticed that the owl was still sitting there. My letter turned out to be short and simple.

Broken nose. Nose bleeding. Need assistance. Ouch. Talk later.

I watched the owl fly off with the letter, hoping that professor Snape would get it in time.

The train was slowing down at last. From outside my compartment I could hear the buzzing of hundreds of students, all chatting happily. I didn't even get up, feeling more dizzy than ever. I just sat there, on hand on the T-shirt covering the nose and the other resting on my lap. All I did was to stare at the other side of the compartment, on the wall, studying everything just to keep from fainting. Very much of my hair had fallen out of the ponytail, making a mess all over. I didn't really want anyone to see me like this. Especially not professor Snape. I knew very well that I had asked for assistance, but I was just hoping and praying that someone else would be coming.

I waited and waited, after a while I couldn't even hear any chatting at all. All of the other students were already on their way to the castle. I had no idea about how long the train would be staying there, so my anxiety got worse and worse, me jumping at each and every little noise. Luckily the bleeding had stopped. I was too scared of starting to bleed again, so I didn't dear to pull it down, even as my hand began shaking from tiredness.
Maybe it was the lack of blood that did it or maybe I was just really a goner, seeing that I didn't even hear when someone was boarding the train. I didn't even hear that my compartment door was being opened! He was kneeling down in front of me before I knew it, so very alike that time two years ago. I could see deep worry in his eyes.
I could feel him scan me for a moment, checking for any bruises that wasn't my broken nose. He checked my arms, chest, belly and the back of my hear. I guess that I had passed the test. Professor placed one of his hands on mine for a moment, cooling me down while doing so.

"Let me see." he asked calmly.

I shook my head. I guess that it was barely visible, but he still saw it.

"I can't heal it if you won't allow me to see it, miss Potter."

I looked down, being stared down by professor Snape. I felt like a tiny child when he did that.
Eventually my stubbornness faded, and I decided to lower my arms. It was like my whole body was giving in to the helplessness at that very moment. Professor Snape removed the t-shirt slowly. I wasn't even looking at his face, but I could still feel his whole body stiffening. My eyes started watering after that. I bent my head downwards to look directly at the floor, several tears falling in the process. All I could hear was my own steady breathing and racing heartbeat. I could feel the pain from my nose too. It was pulsing, taunting me.
Professor Snape touched my cheek softly, lifting my face up to face him. He then did something very unexpected. He reached out his right hand and was, uncertainly, brushing off my tears with his index finger. I studied him carefully as he did. Everything about him just screamed of uncertainness. My eyes never left him, not even when he looked back up. Out eyes met. I didn't turn my eyes away immediately. I just got lost in the deepness of his black eyes.
Professor Snape cleared his throat shakily to regain my full attention.

"Fix the nose, him?"

"Do you even know how, professor?" I asked uncertainly. I had never seen any of the teachers heal anything except madam Pomfrey.

"Of course I can!" he smirked. "I was a part of the wizarding war. We all knew how to heal back then, to a certain degree, at least." he continued, looking a bit sad for a short moment, probably because of his war memories.

Professor Snape pointed his wand directly at my my. It made me feel quite uncomfortable, and to be honest it only made me nervous. Scared, I met professor Snape's eyes again.

"Will it hurt?" my voice was almost failing now

"No."

"Owww!"

"I lied."

Yaaay, another chapter done!
I actually like this chapter :DD Most of all the ending! I just had to do something doctor who ish in the end because I loved it! I already have chapter 11 done, but I won't post it before I'm done with school. Next chapter will come in the end of June, then!
Please do review as much as you'd like! I love getting reviews! It tends to make me smile.
Hope you liked this chapter,

Mattimo