Author's Note: Ugh. I am so sorry.

It was a busy day, right? And I wanted to speed up updates on this project so I could end the heat season of my plot bunnies. The reason it took so long was that since this was a fic I came up with pretty much on the spot and impulse posted the prologue, I had to branch out a lot of ideas, and I came up with quite a few drafts. So I finished up last night, posted that chapter and FINALLY went to sleep, and when I woke up and read the reviews, I was so confused and went back to the chapter to see WTF everyone was blasting me for.

Then I realized, to my absolute horror, I POSTED THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKING DOCUMENT.

(I keep all my old drafts to compare them to current drafts and tell myself that I'm actually getting a little bit better than the time I wrote the old draft. It's a motivational method.)

So I apologize for the confusion, that chapter has since been replaced with the correct one. For those looking for a TLDR, here's how it went down:

Hana and Maki only discussed the unusual nature of Minato's Chakra Gates getting closed, and Maki reveals the last time that happened was with Rock Lee's possible biological parent, which might've been a genetical defect that led to Lee's chakra defect, which wasn't detected on time until it became completely irreversible. They discuss Minato's luck, the funny unusualness of having two students with unusual chakra defects, and wonder how their future will look.

A bit boring, all told. But much better than the initial idea. And things happen over here, a bit more exciting hopefully.

So yeah, there's no Multi!SI scenario here. Repeat: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS OTHER OR MULTIPLE REAL WORLD-INSERTS IN THIS STORY. My bad.

Jesus fuck. I can't believe I made that mess-up. Bad impression.

(Also, is there something in the water with Naruto fanfics? Because I swear, maybe it was just the fact that they're Avengers fics but none of my other ones picked up follows/favs or reviews this fast. Thank you, you guys! Looks like I really might just enjoy myself on this one!)

Enjoy!

Chapter Two

Intent

My kingdom! My kingdom for AT LEAST a fucking Zune and my Spotify playlist and mixes!

I forced myself through another set of push-ups, reaching and surpassing 90 with frightening and ridiculous ease despite the youth of this body. People on this world were built different, and it was that damn well obvious.

I just wished that different included the brand of music from my old world. Or any recorded music at all.

(I'd probably have to look into doing it myself, though. Perhaps start in Kumo? They had a mild appreciation for rap, even if Killer B was killing their ears.)

I reached 150 in another minute or two, wishing I had something blasting on the background. Then I moved on to other sets of various exercises and stretches, and drank it all down with a nice jog around the circuit while reading a (heavily filtered for the safety of our young minds probably and also propagandized) booklet on the most powerful Shinobi in history - I was reading up on the First Kazekage, Reto, and what little the Leaf knew of him.

The man was a bad motherfucking ass. Damn.

Going beyond uniting the desert dwellers that were before Sunagakure came to being (setup back in the day was kind of like Arrakis, but significantly less harsh, and without the sand worms or the tech or united Arrakeen), Reto, formerly of some sort of monk temple (oh, that temple?!) was a mad Fūton ninjutsu specialist. Word was that his skill was scalable from subtle wind blades to a straight-up CAT three hurricane. He was one of the first shinobi after Hashirama to give a Bijuu the beatdown - in his case, Shukaku - and the first to do it completely without Wood Release and in the right middle of the motherfucking desert at that, with the rest of his mates walking in and sealing up Shukaku, finishing up that particular capture. That was pretty much one of the ultimate factors that led to the formation of their village and his negotiating power at the first Gokage meeting.

... And there was a massive gap in information, but he died like Edward Kenway. Random assassination. Pretty unfair, to be honest, considering who he was and how much he'd achieved.

Though it was interesting to know that of all the Gokage, the three Kazekage were the only ones to each die by assassination. No grand final battles. No explosive exits. Just one moment alive, Surprise, motherfucker, slash-slash, next moment dead. Reto's assassin remained unknown to the day, same with the Second Kazekage, and Noru, the Third Kazekage, was also unknown for a while (which was one of the deciding factors of the beginning of the Third Shinobi War) until Konoha uncovered the assassin's identity - no names were named (except we all knew whodunit so eh), but the credit for the discovery was gladly taken by the Leaf.

Rasa would not have his time yet.

Hm, I contemplated. Do I save him?

Meh. I'd decide later, it wouldn't be that easy. He was a shite father to Gaara anyway.

(Side note: It was interesting to me that they had information on the Bijū lying around if anyone was willing to look around for it. I was reasonably certain they had altered a lot of information about Kurama himself since his Jinchūriki weren't exactly supposed to be common information, but there was a lot of basic information to be discovered in the library that interestingly, in canon, only came to play down the line as Part I went on. Stuff about the Clans, the Kekkei Genkai/Hijutsu within Konoha, our most famous Jōnin, stuff like that. There was stuff above our paygrade, but not as much as I expected. Made me wonder how Sakura was touted as 'book smart' but apparently knew none of that shit. Hermione would be disappointed...)

I was working out and reading at the same time, and increasing my multitasking skills by simultaneously lamenting about the lack of headphones and music in this frankly fuckin' weird techless/teched out world. Everybody else was practicing Leaf Concentration or one of the Academy Three or another.

Well... not everyone else.

"Yosh!" Lee cheered as he easily kept pace with me. "Your renewed drive is amazing to see, Minato-kun!"

"Thanks, Lee." My voice was a bit less casual, the exercise starting to wear a little on my stamina. Sure, much higher than it was in my previous life, but even it had limits.

Ah, what I wouldn't give to be a Jinchuuriki...

We kept on running for a while, intending to finish up the physical period like that, and then Lee broke the silence. "Would I impose if I asked a personal question?"

I took my eyes off the booklet for a second. "Depends on the question."

"Well... what drove you to pick up the pace, Minato-kun?" he inquired.

I broke my run and transitioned to a fast skip so I could look at him, still keeping pace with Lee. "Why?"

"I..." Lee shut down for a moment, and visibly gathered his composure. "I am finding myself... at a... difficult time. This is the final year of the Academy. That it will be important to master the Academy Three is an understatement. But the doctors say they have done everything they could. I can manipulate my chakra internally now. But... I learned, two days ago... ninjutsu are simply beyond me. Most of the teachers have told me the same ever since my diagnosis. I am doomed to fail."

A hard silence enveloped us as we continued our run and I considered his words.

I dog-eared the booklet (I know, I know, monster, blah blah, buy me the fucking bookmark) and closed it, stashing it in my pocket.

"It's not like I'm in a much better position," I grunted, transitioning back to our mid-paced run. "I was in the middle of the pack last year, neither good, nor bad, just lazy, and... well, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to tell you yet. But I'm not completely certain of my chances to pass, either." Not as long as I couldn't access my chakra at all. "Doesn't mean I'm giving up, and neither should you."

He came to a stop without warning, forcing me to do the same. "How would I pass without the Academy Three?" he frowned. "You have a chance. You have chakra. I don't! I can't do any of them! That's the requirement for me to become a genin!"

I considered him for a moment, remembering the absolute taijutsu monster he would be in two years. I remembered what he could do, what he couldn't, and the potential he'd absolutely squandered by choosing to focus solely on taijutsu, the potential he could've permanently crippled when he chose to pursue his fight against Gaara when it became apparent that he wasn't piercing his defenses by conventional brute force, and thus the solution would be unconventional brute force. The same old shit, ramped up to insane levels that had a goddamn Jinchuuriki pressed for a minute there. It was awesome. It was glorious.

It was fucking stupid.

This was not him. If I had it my way, that would never be him.

This boy would be far better.

"I -!"

I interrupted him with action, dramatically whipping up three fingers before he could finish his sentence. I let his shocked silence pass him by, then I interrupted him when he opened his mouth again.

"What does tha -"

"Why are you running?" I demanded.

"What?"

"Why are you running?"

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. Time to pick a page out of the old playbook. "What country you from, Lee?"

"What?"

"'What' ain't no country I ever heard of," I sneered, approaching his personal space. I took a little sadistic joy in his adorably confused, utterly put-off expression. "Do they speak Nihongo in What?"

"What?"

"Nihongo, motherfucker!" I roared. "Do you speak it?!"

"W-well, that's how I'm speaking to you right now -" He started out strong, but the longer he went on, the angrier my scowl became, breaking his answer down to smaller, quieter words.

"Then why aren't you answering the simple fuckin' question?!" I loomed over him. "Why. Are. You. Running?!"

Someone approached us. "Is there some -"

"I don't remember asking you a goddamn thing," I pointed at them without even looking, completely caught up in the moment. "We are busy. You!" I turned back to him, and he was alternating between gaping at me and gaping at whoever was next to us. "Look at me. Look at me!"

"M-Minato-kun...!"

"Lee!" I growled, startling him. "I don't give a shit. Your eyes are on me! Answer the question. Why are you running? You know your situation. You're saying it yourself. You're thinking of giving up, because it looks fucking impossible now, doesn't it?"

"Minato -"

"Why are you running? Tell me. Why are you still here? Despite everything, you're here like you are every single day. Why?"

Lee blubbered. "I... I-I-I have to! I don't know what to do, but I can't... I can't just do nothing! I don't -"

I held up the three fingers again, cutting him off.

"Know what this means?" I demanded.

"...Will you yell at me if I ask?"

"No. Ask."

He hesitated anyway, eyes darting off to the person on our side. "...What does it mean?"

"You," I pointed at him, then flicked back to the three fingers again, "have three routes. Three ways you will pass the Genin Exam, acquire your promotion, and serve The Village Hidden in the Leaves till death do you part. They are simple. Number One: Taijutsu. Number Two: Ansatsu gijutsu. Number Three: Bukijutsu. You said you can express your chakra internally, didn't you? So there is one path you can walk on."

His wide eyes darted around me with an astonishing rapidity (there was a sentence I never thought I'd think up) as he took me.

"Which is it? Taijutsu? Assassination? Bukijutsu? I can choose one?"

"Which is it? Out of the three? Are you kidding? What kind of question is that?" I squinted at him. "You're not choosing. You're doing all of that. All of it. Your body, Rock Lee, is waiting for you to catch your ass up and push it to its absolute zenith. In here," I tapped his shoulder twice, "lies a magnificent wellspring of greatness, awaiting the day you unearth it. Work hard, Rock Lee. Train. Condition your body. Beat the training pole until your knuckles bleed. Damage yourself, break down and rebuild every muscle in your body. Your fists will shatter boulders like glass, your steps quieter than a breeze in the forest, your weapons not tools, but Extensions of the deadliest ninja Konoha will ever see. Your kunai and shuriken will hit rapidly moving targets with conteptuous ease. Your bo and nunchaku will break everything they hit, and your silence will be overwhelming and lethal. Do you understand, Rock Lee? Do you understand that that is why your body is running? It's calling to you. Can't you feel it? Can't you feel your heart pumping?"

He nodded.

"It's calling you. It wants you to run; to Work Hard. Work harder than you ever did you whole life, Rock Lee, and your effort will not go unnoticed. Are you gonna keep my words in every cell in your body, Rock Lee?!"

He nodded eagerly. "I will keep your words in every cell in my body, Minato-kun!"

I nodded in approval. "Good. Now get to it."

Silence.

"ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" I yelled hysterically. "RUN, YOU FOOL! RUN!"

"I'M RUNNING, I'M RUNNING!" He took off immediately, a great deal faster than he had just before. "YOSHAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I knew that dude was weird even before Gai got to him.

"Well, that was the most embarrassing speech I ever dreamed up," I muttered to myself. "I'm actually surprised it worked."

"So am I," a voice unexpectedly spoke up next to me. I checked - and did a double-take when I realized it was Hana-sensei, . I face-faulted when I realized she was there the entire time, and...

And.

I SAMUEL L. JACKSON'D OFF AT MY FREAKIN' SENSEI I'M SO DEAD!

I sighed, getting up and facing my execution with an utterly resigned expression. "Good afternoon, Hana-Sensei. How may I die today?"

"I considered five weeks," she grunted. "Due to the circumstances, however, and your... show of support and motivation, I will reduce the deficit to two weeks." We watched Lee lap us, almost blurring past us on our left with how fast he was moving. "However, should you disrespect me like that in front of my students again..."

She slashed out my throat.

No, actually she slashed my stomach open and fuck it hurt and my guts were spilling open and I was gonna die I was dead I was -

No, she severed my leg with contemptuous ease and a simple kunai. I was bleeding out and she was watching I was gonna die I was dead and I

I slammed back to reality, as if the elephant that jumped on my shoulders gave me mercy and got off. I wanted to move, but I couldn't. I wanted to sweat, but I couldn't. I wanted to blink, but I couldn't. I wanted to breathe, but I couldn't. RAW FEAR overwhelmed everything I was, everything I could do, everything I wanted to do, and If I Moved, I Would Die And My Body Understood That Even When I Did Not.

H̵a̵n̸a̸ ̶H̶a̸g̵a̸n̴e̸ ̶W̶a̴n̴t̵e̷d̸ ̵T̴o̵ ̵M̵u̶r̵d̴e̷r̴ ̷M̷e̸ ̸A̸n̶d̸ ̴S̴h̸e̶ ̸W̶o̴u̵l̵d̴.̴

And then she didn't and she allowed me to breathe again and thank fuck what the fuck was that?!

"You get the picture, I trust," she said. Lee lapped us once more.

"Yeah." My voice was small.

When the fuck did I piss my pants?

"We are three minutes into lunch time," she informed me, as if she hadn't just nearly made me shit myself and only made me lose my bladder control instead. "Change your trousers. Go eat. At the end of the learning period, I will take you to hospital, and your treatment will begin."

"I understand."

She was there. Then she wasn't.

Hana Hagane was a terrifying fucking woman.

"So." I whispered to myself. "That's Killing Intent. Jesus fucking Christ."

Lee lapped me again.

Sasuke Uchiha was a hack, a cheat, a charlatan. I could not believe he did not shit himself when Zabuza and Orochimaru did that to him.

Sakura probably did - ah, I figured it out.

PG-13.

Ninja or not, it was probably illegal to draw and/or animate 12-year-olds experiencing spontaneous momentary lassitude in bowel control.

Yeah, I was totally accepting that explanation. Also conveniently ignoring the fact that I was chronologically 26 years old, an adult, and they were children.

School ended, and not a moment too soon.

Hagane-Sensei and I entered the hospital.

The Hyūga doctor - who was mad thicc, if I might mention - led us to a room - a room with seals, not dissimilar to the room in which Hatake Kakashi once sealed Sasuke's Cursed Seal. Before she allowed us to enter, though, she had me strip down to my underwear, ran through a set of hand seals, touched my shoulder, and something from her pulsed into me. It was far gentler than the way Hagane-Sensei did it when she tried to force me to feel my chakra, and it was actually kind of relaxing. I felt like I'd stepped out of a shower.

"What was that?" I asked, eyes wide.

"Iyashi no Hadō no Jutsu," she explained. "It relieves any exertion you've gone through for the day, and also cleanses your body. Works as well as any disinfectant."

"Right." I had a sudden thought at the very concept of the jutsu. "But how's it different from, say... what's this one... something about the palm?"

"Ah, the Shōsen?" she smiled encouragingly.

"Yes, that one."

"I'm impressed that you've even heard of it. Your well of knowledge is deeper than your Sensei has estimated, hm? As for the differences... Shōsen is much more thorough, and much better used when the target has severe wounds and broken bones. Iyashi no Hadō works well for situations like these, and especially after a training session, as long as the strain isn't too severe." She gave me an intense look, which meant she was about to give me a warning. "Should you ever manage to learn this, don't be reckless and think it'll heal you a hundred percent every time you finish an intense training session. You still need to rest. And it's useless in missions, so you have to understand how to use First Aid or walk the path of an Iryonin if you wish to treat anyone during a mission. Come now, the Room is ready."

Hagane-Sensei stayed outside.

"Here," she gestured, leading me to the center of the sealing array, on which lain a giant black kanji for... I believe it was 'Unblock', but I could be wrong. "Sit on top of the kanji. Seiza, please."

"It won't smudge the ink?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Okay." I kneeled down, folded my legs underneath my body, and sat perfectly upright.

"Good, you have very good positioning," the doctor complimented. "Now, when I activate this seal, you will feel a tugging sensation throughout your body. Focus on your torso, but do not use a handseal or you will disrupt the Fuin network. When you feel that tugging sensation, try to force it upwards and outwards. Your chakra will be encouraged to mix and emerge, and will follow your Pathways naturally. You have to keep that up for as long as you can, with the goal of trying to force it to radiate from your entire body. In other words, feel your chakra, and when you do, flare it. Do you understand, Yakushi-San?"

"I understand."

"What will you do?"

"React to the tugging, force it to move throughout my body and out of it. I must not use any handseal."

"Very good. Let us begin. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

She nodded, ran through a series of hand signs, activated her Intense Byakugan, and then weaved another chain of hand signs.

The room lit up as the Fuin glowed, and the effects hit me.

My Chakra was Unlocked.

I felt raw, warm POWER surge through my body. I could move mountains. I could crush the Biju. I could teleport anywhere. I just became a God, capital G.

The awesomeness of my power was so radiant, it instantly blinded the Hyuuga in front of me.

I was gonna hunt Obito Uchiha and Skull Fuck him and Zetsu too.

I Felt Fucking Invincible.

…

…

…

…

Pfft, Sike.

You really thought it was gonna be that easy?

Nah. That shit hurt like a motherfucker.

I screamed like one too.

Original Jutsu:

Iyashi no Hadō no Jutsu (Healing Pulse Jutsu)

Classification: Medical Ninjutsu

Type: Supplementary

Rank: B-Rank

Hand Seals: Ram, Monkey, Snake, Horse, Monkey, Ram

Range: Short (0-5m)

Known User(s): Maki Hyuuga, Minato Yakushi (eventually), Tsunade Senju, Sakura Haruno, Kabuto Yakushi

The user applies their hand to any part of the body and sends a 'pulse' of healing chakra into it, briefly accelerating the natural healing processes of the body and cleansing the skin. It is much more versatile than the Shousen, being able to heal the entire body at once, but its effects are much weaker as a result of the wide area of effect. As such, it is used as a preparatory technique similar to disinfectant for patients in certain situations, where the patient may need to be operated on directly, whether through surgery or body-wide sealwork application.

Due to its nature, it demands near-impeccable chakra control, and failure to execute the jutsu will either result in nothing happening (if too little chakra is used) or the patient will suffer from an induced seizure (if too much chakra is used) and in the long term may develop a carcinogen and eventually chakra cancer, which even Tsunade would have a difficult time treating. As such, it is a restricted jutsu, more so than the Shousen, and very few shinobi are able to use it at all. Those that can usually prefer more traditional methods of preparation, as they are safer, and Shousen is easier to use since it is easier to regulate and is substantially more effective in the area of healing.

(Yes, I stole this from the Pokémon Psychic Move, Heal Pulse. Wouldn't be the first time Naruto borrowed moves from other anime, see: Kakuzu.)

Author's Notes:

Once more, thank you.

Until next time!