Worth the Wait

Chapter Seven: Feather

Summary: Sirius seemingly loses his soulmate mark, and Regulus's mark gets added to.

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Sirius didn't understand what was wrong. It had been over a week since anything new had appeared on his arm. All his drawings and questions went unanswered, even the ones he wrote specifically to Hope. R's birthday had come and gone without so much as a drawing from the other boy, which Sirius found extremely odd because he had been so excited to be five just like Sirius himself. But there was nothing written on his arm when he woke up on March tenth, and no response when Sirius had written 'Happy birthday' in his best handwriting either. It made him uncomfortable that there was no longer any splash of color on his arm. Sirius wondered briefly if he had imagined the almost year and a half long communication with his soulmate, but he quickly dismissed that thought. He didn't think he had enough of his own imagination to conjure up all the different colors R and Hope had used over the year. Grimmauld Place was grim and bleak at its brightest, forever enshrouded in an aura of gray. Even the sunshine that was rarely let in through the parlor window seemed to be muted.

It took a month of trying to communicate with R and Hope before Sirius stopped writing on his arm. He was tired of seeing only plain black ink there when he was expecting silly colors and messy handwriting and drawings. He wondered if he had said something wrong, and if R and Hope were purposefully ignoring him. He didn't think that was likely to be the case. Hope was nothing like his own mother, and Sirius figured if his own mother would ignore him (as she occasionally tended to do), Hope wouldn't. But he couldn't figure out why they weren't answering him.

"Sirius," Regulus's soft voice broke Sirius out of his thinking. They'd gotten closer ever since Regulus was allowed to be in lessons with Sirius. Finding Regulus in his bedroom or knocking on his door at night after dinner was starting to become routine. Turning to look at his little brother, he was confused as to why Regulus was holding out his left arm at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"There's two." Regulus's eyes widened as he explained, pulling back the sleeve ever so slightly so that Sirius could see that there were indeed two tiny little feathers on his brother's wrist.

Sirius felt something tremble inside his stomach and did his best to squash down the flare of jealousy he felt. "How?" he asked, but Regulus only shook his head. Sirius wasn't surprised that his brother didn't know. He doubted anyone really knew how soul marks worked since there were so many different kinds. He took Regulus's wrist in his hands, looking closely at the two feathers.

The first one was a plain drawing in black ink. The second one was slightly more elaborate, lined with more details, but still overall just as plain as the first. They were very close together, but not touching. He rubbed his thumb over both feathers, seeing if any of the ink would smudge. A small part of Sirius felt ashamed that he hoped it would. It didn't, and Sirius felt hollow at the realization.

"When did you get the second one?" he asked, returning his attention to his brother's face.

"I don't know," Regulus answered, voice soft and on the edge of tearful. Sirius couldn't remember ever hearing his brother's voice not sound like he was about to cry (or had just finished crying). He wondered if all little brothers were always such crybabies. He made a mental note to ask Uncle Alphard if Uncle Cygnus was like this as a child.

Sirius pulled the sleeve back over to the two feather tattoos on Regulus's wrist. "Don't show anyone, okay?" he instructed. He could already hear his mother's disdain and feel her annoyance and anger. Probably wiser for Regulus to keep this new development to himself. Sirius thought back to his own blank forearm and felt the jealousy come back with an envy.

"Why?" Regulus asked. Sirius blinked, unsure of how to explain to their mother to a toddler.

"It's a secret," Sirius said. "Our secret."

Regulus blinked and Sirius hoped he wasn't about to start crying. His eyes looked wet and shiny, but no other signs of distress were on his face. "Like your arm?" Regulus asked at last.

Sirius felt a painful lump in his throat as Regulus mentioned his arm. "Yeah," he whispered. He waited to see if Regulus would ask anything else about his arm. He was unsure of what he would tell Regulus. He still didn't want to believe that he'd lost R and Hope forever.

"Okay," Regulus said, and some of the tension left Sirius's body. "Can I…" Regulus started to say. He paused, and looked away from Sirius's face. Sirius waited, knowing that his brother sometimes required more time to put his sentences together. Or to get over his nerves and ask for what he needed.

Regulus, in addition to being perpetually teary, was always nervous and hesitant. Sirius tried to remember if something had happened, or if they had been raised differently, but he couldn't come up with anything. He had very little memory of what life was like before lessons, but he figured he was kept in isolation, away from his mother. She didn't seem like she had ever personally looked after Regulus, so he assumed she hadn't personally looked after him when he was younger. Perhaps Kreacher, the house elf that regularly tended to Regulus before his lessons and still even now, treated Regulus more harshly than he had treated Sirius? But if that were the case, Sirius doubted Regulus would be as fond of the old elf as he was.

Sirius could feel his nose scrunch up as he waited for his brother to continue speaking. Maybe Regulus was just weird. Kreacher was a miserable, unpleasant house elf, and anyone that liked him had to be weird.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Regulus finally asked.

Sirius raised both eyebrows in surprise. He studied Regulus, who was still avoiding his gaze in fear of rejection or nerves, Sirius didn't know exactly. If he let Regulus sleep in his room tonight, he'd have less time to focus solely on his arm in case Hope or R started writing him back. But then again, they hadn't written anything to him for a month. Not even something by accident, which used to happen quite often whenever R was practicing his letters.

"Sirius?" Regulus asked again, voice soft and barely there.

Sirius bit his lip. "Okay," he answered. He helped Regulus crawl underneath his covers and get comfortable. R wouldn't mind, he thought, if he took a while to answer when R finally wrote to him. R would understand. And then Sirius would politely ask about the month long silence, and hopefully find out what he did wrong so he'd never do it again. And then things would go back to normal, and he'd have his soulmate back, along with Hope.

"Thanks, Sirius," Regulus mumbled. Sirius got into bed next to Regulus, who had immediately shifted over to hug him. Sirius prepared himself for tears and wet clothing near where Regulus's face was, but they never came. Maybe Regulus was starting to grow up after all. Sirius hugged his brother back, unable to remember the last time he was physically affectionate with someone other than his brother. Sirius found that he didn't mind so much. He found that his bed was exponentially warmer than when he was in it alone and immensely more comforting. He briefly thought about R and if he was in bed right now, all alone. Sirius hoped not. He also hoped R knew that he missed talking to the younger Welsh boy. He hoped R would write back soon, as unlikely as that now seemed.

"Anytime, Reg," he whispered sleepily, making sure his brother was adequately covered before closing his eyes.

/Thank you so much to everyone who's read and left a review! (Sorry I haven't done this earlier!) I love reading all of your thoughts about my writing!

/Also, yes, some of Remus's and Sirius's communication mayyy be a tad advanced for their age, but Remus gets bit when he's five, and I wanted them to have some contact before then, so. Also I figure Sirius would have lessons drilled into him from a very early age (Blacks have no use for babies and toddlers) so that's why he's a bit more advanced and more mature than Remus (who relies on Hope like 90% of the time when responding to Sirius with words instead of pictures).