Author's Note: Hardest chapter to write so far, and hardest chapter to title. Ugh, exposition and all that beginning-of-the-story nonsense is such a slog for me to write through, but it must be done.
In case some of you didn't notice, I fix the weird errors in previous chapters as the days go on. Chapters 1 and 2 are officially spelling-and-grammar-error free, as far as I know. No changes to plot and story, so don't worry if you guys didn't see it. Not quite as confident with 3 and 4, since they're newer, but they're getting there.
Sympathies and Satisfaction
Hans despised his life right now. While some themes have remained the same: the lack of say of what happened in his life, the burning anger he felt towards his brothers, the fetid hate and desire for revenge on the Arendellian royalty; it was now much, much worse in comparison. Now, he had to accept the fact that he had absolutely no control of anything, not even his own body when the time came, and the fact that underneath the anger he felt love towards his brothers.
And now he was desperate for human interaction coming from one of the very people he oh-so-desperately wanted to kill. The somewhat-friendly attitude she was sharing to him was piercing through the storm of madness swirling in his mind and bubbling in his chest. Why, oh why, did she have to be so innocent and positive? So genuine? Why hadn't anyone else, anyone, been the one with courage enough to speak to him?
It was humiliating. He would never voice this out loud, but the little ray of sunshine that was Princess Anna of Arendelle seemed to be his only source of hope to combat the land trying to get a hold of his will. He might as well surrender to whatever whim the princess was having.
And acknowledging that fact drove the nail in his coffin that much deeper.
"You mean to say that King Pieter really can't have children?" Anna asked after his retelling of the horse-riding incident that doomed his eldest brother. Her childish curiosity felt like burning poison pumped into his veins, but a beacon of light in his mind. Curse her.
"Yes, but that didn't stop him from becoming king. The next heir just won't be one of his own children," Hans explained.
"Wow, how's he taking it?"
"He hates children, so he didn't much care about it."
"Is that why he mistreated you?"
"It seemed to be the case. His attitude-change while I verged onto adulthood doesn't disperse that theory."
"And he isn't married?"
"No, and I pity the woman that would have to be tied to him for the rest of her life. There would be no love there."
"Are you sure he doesn't like other men?"
"He says as much. Throughout his life, he never made it apparent that he felt any romantic urges. All the better, since it seems to keep him focused on the kingdom and not to those carnal desires."
"He's a good king, isn't he?"
"I guess he's a natural. It's to be expected, since he was groomed since birth to take the throne. He's still adjusting, though. Since his rule, he never sent a delegate to our allies, aside from sending me to Arendelle, thinking that the Southern Isles must acclimate to a new king so that they can follow his policies without questions about how he rules. It's certainly different than the harsh iron grip my father's policies tended to have. They all look to Pieter as if he would suddenly turn into my father, which isn't without reason, if one were to look at the rest of his family."
Hans hated how easy and casual it felt to talk about his family with Anna. Even at Elsa's coronation, the subject of his brothers came up naturally in conversation. It was probably her disarming nature that made him spill his schemes later on before locking her away to die. Because, as much as his whole upbringing told him not to trust anyone with personal information, Anna wouldn't harm anyone by turning whatever he said to her against him.
That is until recently, when she used Klaus' guilt to hurt him. He remembered her shock when she said such words to him, and his own surprise at hearing them come out of her mouth. All the better to remind him not to trust anyone, even when he deemed it impossible for certain people to stab him in the back.
Even more so, since talking about his family was going to bring up more memories that he would rather not remember. He was making it visually obvious that talking about this made him uncomfortable, and since Anna made no effort to change the subject of their conversation, it was safe to assume that was her purpose to come down to his cell. The confusing, vile wretch she was.
Yet, here he was, talking about the most painful of subjects to someone who didn't care too much about his well-being. History was going to repeat itself.
"And what about Klaus? Why do you have a grudge against him? Wasn't he the one who sacrificed himself for your sake?" Anna asked. "I mean, it's either because he loved you a whole lot, or he did something terrible enough for that to happen."
Hans couldn't help but laugh at her assumptions. The sound didn't come out as strong as he hoped, though, a dark and broken-off chuckle that made Anna fidget where she sat. He panicked a bit at the thought that she was going to leave him alone to the voice, and continued, hoping his explanation would keep her there for a while longer.
"He was brother number ten who convinced numbers eleven and twelve to deny my existence. I think it was more out of guilt than anything. He kept thinking that he was the one at fault for pushing me to the limits of my sanity. The idiot."
"Don't call your brother that! He only did what he thought was right in the end!"
"And look what happened to him! Don't try to convince me that what he did was logical. He was a fool to believe that he could help me! He was stupid, Princess Anna. One 'right' can't undo all the wrong!"
Shocked tears started to fall from Anna's eyes. Hans didn't understand why she was taking it so personal. It's not like he was calling her actions stupid –
Oh. Oops.
He might as well have, since he now saw the similarities between Anna's choice to save her sister and Klaus' idiotic lack of self-preservation. The condemning look she gave him warned what her next choice of words would be. He did raise his voice at her, after all.
"Guards! Tie this… this fiend up! Make him think about what he's done!" Anna commanded, rising to her feet and pointing an accusatory finger at him. Hans stared at her defiantly, trying to hide the fear and shame he was experiencing. The four guards watching the exchange between him and the princess moved from their posts and made deft work wrangling him to the floor and binding him to a ring at the corner of his cell. Hans tested the new restraints, finding them effective at keeping his arms and legs from moving. Anna ran from the brig, hands covering her face as tears leaked from the gaps in her fingers.
He just had to run his mouth. Beneath his cool exterior, he felt anger frothing towards the princess, adding this new development to the list of grievances he had towards the two sisters. Sensitive little Anna had somehow struck enough of his heartstrings for him to lose track of his words and their possible consequences.
Curse her.
###
Elsa was in the middle of talking with the ship's captain when Anna barged into the room, sobbing. The captain, seeing the distress the princess was in, bowed politely to the queen and left the two sisters alone.
"Anna, what happened?" Elsa asked, rushing to her sister's side and allowing her sibling to cry on her shoulder.
"Hans. We were talking and then he…" Anna sniffled. Elsa latched onto her sister even tighter upon hearing the name.
"Did he hurt you? Did he escape?"
"No! No, he just… Elsa, you don't think that me saving you was stupid, do you?" Anna shuddered in Elsa's embrace as she asked the question. Elsa's heart ached for her distressed sister.
"What? No! Of course not! What made you think that? Was it Hans?"
"Y-yes, but… Oh, Elsa! He has so many brothers that love him, how could he be so… so mean?"
"Where is he?"
"He's still in his cell. I told the guards to tie him up."
"Good, that should teach him a lesson. Why were you speaking to him in the first place?"
"I needed to know, Elsa. I was wondering why his brothers still hold hope for him. They're wrong."
"You need to be more careful around him. We all do," Elsa sighed, loosening her hold on Anna when she saw her starting to calm down. "I don't want to see him hurt you again. Next time, I think it would be best if you brought me, or Kristoff if I happen to be too busy."
"Okay. Thanks, Elsa."
Anna gave a grateful hug and released Elsa. The two smiled at each other, Anna eliciting the occasional hiccup from her previous crying.
"I'm glad everyone was wrong about you, Elsa."
"I know. Me too."
"What do you mean? Everyone said you were dangerous! A…" Anna lowered her voice, reluctant to continue her thought. "A monster." Anna waved her hands in front of her, as if dismissing the statement. "B-but you aren't! You were just misunderstood, is all."
"Anna?" Elsa asked, clasping her hands together. She exhaled slowly, knowing that it was best to share her worries than to keep them hidden. It was apparent that she was starting to feel too much sympathy for Hans, now that her sister brought to light the similarities that she had considered herself. "What if they were right? Would you still love me then?"
"Of course, Elsa! I would fight for you until my last breath if I had to! Though, I might have to be a bit more careful, since that would mean you're dangerous," Anna replied, a sheepish grin crossing her face.
"Why?"
"Because you're my sister, and that's what sisters do. C'mon, why're you bringing this up?" Anna laughed. She gasped as if she realized something, "Did Hans make you doubt me? That creep!"
"Anna, no. I'm just… doubting myself."
"Why? You're an amazing person, Elsa. Oh wait, is this that insecurity thing that Flynn and Rapunzel talked about?"
"I guess it is," Elsa laughed, recalling the advice that was given in their stay in Corona. She sighed, again. It seemed that this whole situation was sigh-worthy. "I just keep thinking about how similar this whole ordeal is compared to my coronation day. I keep seeing a bit of myself in Hans, and it's not healthy."
"Ew… you relate to him?"
"I wish I didn't."
"That's cra – Well, you do bring up a good point. I mean, the whole reason why he upset me was that his brother sacrificed his life and Hans didn't seem at all grateful for it. Called his brother stupid for doing it. It just made me think about me and freezing on the fjord and then you turning around and calling me stupid. N-not that you would ever do something like that! I'm just… It made me feel so angry at him."
Anna rubbed a hand down the length of her face, grunting in mild frustration.
"Look at us, Elsa. It's like we're trying to compare ourselves with them, but the two of us have nothing in common with him and his brothers," Anna laughed awkwardly. "…right?"
"For our sakes, let's hope not," Elsa stated. "Because if the trolls don't have a solution for us, this is only going to get a lot harder."
###
The rest of the return voyage to Arendelle went without further incident. Ever since being tied up, Hans was force-fed his meals in denial of his previous wishes at the start of the trip. There were a few close-calls of him losing control of himself, but miraculously, each time he was able to keep himself together. Elsa learned that keeping the scythe where he could see it helped to anchor him (though not the bag of pixie dust, strangely), which both worried and relieved her. Worrying, because then it would be easier for him to lash out and kill, even if it was impossible as it would be in his current arrangement. Relieving, since she and everyone else knew a little bit more about Hans and the limits of his condition. Knowledge, however minute, while facing the unknown could only be a good thing, right?
The sooner this problem was fixed, the better off everyone will be, and the faster she could pretend that everything was normal again.
Her sister hadn't made anymore confrontations with the prince, since whatever answers Anna was seeking in meeting him the last time was found. Something about being an ungrateful brat and being blind to kindness, if Elsa's interpretation of her sister's long-winded rant about how much she hated Hans was correct. Aside from that one instance with Anna, no one else spoke to him throughout the voyage.
She feared for his sanity at learning this, since Anna did mention that Hans hadn't had a real conversation with another person in months. Even while she herself was locked in her own room, isolated, her parents would still speak to her every once in a while. Though, it was a miracle she didn't lose sight of her own sanity in the time between the loss of her parents and the coronation. It turned out she had a lot more self-will than she ever knew that she had, thinking back on it. Three years. She shivered at the memory.
Thank goodness the past was in the past.
She made her way to the brig as everyone else exited the boat, making sure to bring Anna and Kristoff with her. The prisoner was still effectively bound to the iron ring attached to the wall of his cell.
"Are you still in control of your faculties?" Elsa asked, a neutral expression masked on her face.
"As well as I'll ever be, Your Majesty," Hans monotoned, a slight tone of sarcasm and ire leaking through. Anna raised her hand as if to protest, but returned it to her side. Good, her sister was learning to control her rashness.
"I hope you've learned your lesson for upsetting the princess."
"One I won't soon forget, Your Majesty." The strain in his voice as he said this didn't ease the anxiety that started to bubble inside of her.
"I hoped as much." Elsa gestured to a guard and ordered, "Release the restraints." Then, she turned back to the prince. A flicker of surprise flashed across his face before he schooled his expression back to mild annoyance. "Remember our terms, Prince Hans. The bindings are only if you were to lose control of yourself. However, since you've shown that you can't watch your tongue, I've allowed Princess Anna's punishment stand as a lesson. Since we've now reached harbor and that you haven't had any further incident, you are to return to your previous chained restraints."
"I thank you, Your Majesty."
At that, Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff left the brig and the ship altogether to a cheering crowd waiting for them at the docks. Elsa gave a graceful wave to her people, taking a deep, calming breath. They finally made it home. A few murmurs were elicited from the crowd when they saw a black-cloaked figure being escorted by guards behind them, chains rattling as the person walked. The hood was pulled up, so Elsa knew they couldn't possibly know who the person was underneath that cloak.
At least, until she would make a formal address to them later that day. She already worried about the speech she would give them. Too many things to do before they left for yet another trip, leaving her people without a proper queen to care for the kingdom's welfare. However, if they were able to fare without her for a little over a month, a few more days wouldn't hurt.
They would understand, especially if she explained to them the situation. Hopefully. For now, she nodded to them and said that she would explain the prisoner later, and the crowd happily accepted the promise.
It was best to have Hans safely in the dungeon than in the open where an angry mob could easily form. She trusted her people to not come to such lengths while she was around, but still, it was better safe than sorry.
###
"And so, I will leave you for a few days as we journey towards the North Mountain to seek answers for this new threat that has arose. In the meantime, continue to bring your concerns to the Council," Elsa said, finishing her address to the citizens gathered in the courtyard. "I hope to return with good news, and I thank you all for your time." Elsa gave a single nod and walked away from the balcony, the crowd applauding their queen.
It was astounding how much they still put their faith in the monarchy, despite having been so separate from the people for years. Elsa couldn't have been more thankful for whatever powers-that-be that continued to make it so. The people handled the news of Hans' situation well, though not without a few protests that Elsa was able to assuage with more explanations quite easily. There was an ample amount of guards watching over him, anyway.
"So, when do we leave?" Anna asked, bouncing on her heels in excitement. "I mean, yeah, it's not going to be as fun since Hans is coming with us, but ignore him and it'll be another adventure! And I still get to spend it with you guys!" Anna grasped at Kristoff and Elsa, giving them a large embrace, hopping about all the while.
"Tomorrow, if things are going to schedule," Elsa said, giggling at her sister's antics. "So Kristoff, it's about a day's journey from here?"
"That's if we're walking there. By sleigh, it should take us a few hours. I do have to warn you, I don't know how long it might take us to fix… whatever this is," Kristoff replied, wrangling his arms from Anna and giving her a proper hug. Anna and Kristoff smiled at each other lovingly before releasing each other, and in turn, releasing Elsa.
"That's why we have a few days to spend there. Hopefully that would be enough time to fix this." Elsa sighed. There was one more thing that they needed to do. "I guess it's time to talk to the prisoner. Care to join me?"
Anna rolled her eyes, but nodded and smiled afterwards in agreement. Kristoff bit his lip and agreed as well.
"I'll try not to talk to him. But my offer still stands to punch him if he deserves it," Anna said as she tailed Elsa and Kristoff on the way to the castle's dungeon.
"Be my guest," Elsa said, hiding a small chuckle behind her hand.
###
Hans sat against the far wall of his prison cell, knocking the back of his head against the stone rhythmically. The land was grating on his nerves, as always, and it's urging was still manageable. Yet that didn't mean it wasn't getting tiring.
If only it would just please stop. He knew the only way for that to happen was to sacrifice another soul, but that wasn't happening anytime soon. Or ever, if Queen Elsa had her way. He brought his chained hands to cover his face, still lightly thumping his head against the wall. The burning in his bosom wasn't helping matters either.
He remembered the close-calls on the ship, the fear he felt when he realized that he was slipping. It brought back the guilt he felt after killing Klaus and the three Coronians. William, Strauss, and Igor. He would never allow himself to forget their names.
If this was how guilt felt like after actually killing innocent people (or relatively innocent, in Klaus' case), despite reassuring himself many times that the blame didn't fall on himself, he didn't want to know how much more he could handle if he were to carry out yet another sacrifice.
It was here, in the dank air of a dungeon in the very kingdom he wanted to claim for himself, where Hans finally allowed himself to grieve. For what, he wasn't quite sure. Nothing, everything; it didn't matter. He just knew that, as much as he denied that part of his human nature for years, he felt guilt over his misdeeds, and that he lost what little he had left. All for the promise of power and revenge.
Oh, he won't deny to himself that he still wanted revenge. After all, he never forgave the queen and princess for soiling his last attempt at freedom, that he was so close he almost tasted it, for it all to be ripped away by the calamity of events that transpired at the coronation. But now, he knew it was no longer for the sake of tying lose ends or for them to pay penance for their actions. It was just going to be a last-ditch effort to say to himself, See? You could do it after all.
Now… Now he wasn't sure if he could anymore. He didn't forget the small kindness they showed him, namely Elsa's constant mercies. Whether she did it out of guilt or if she really did care about whatever happened to him despite who he was, the mercy was there. The goodness as well. After all, she could have left him at the whim of the Coronian monarchy, never having the attempt to free him of his curse.
Or even on the boat when she could have easily left him to slowly go mad without the scythe close by, or left the restraints around him. Or even executed him immediately when his presence in Corona was known. No, she didn't do any of the things his brothers would have done.
Would his brothers have done so, though? They flocked back to the castle after he returned from Arendelle as a traitor to an ally kingdom, leaving their families behind just so they would deal with him. At first, it seemed that they did so just so they could see him carry out his execution. But… the worry, the grief on their faces when they believed him slowly going mad. The anguish they shared when they hugged him back in the wheat field. They…
They loved him.
And he never got the chance to show them that he loved them back. There was no denying the feeling now. Despite everything they did, and everything he did to them, they all loved each other.
"Prince Hans Westergaard of the Southern Isles, you are a fool," he said softly to himself as he sobbed into his arms resting on bent knees. And for that, you don't deserve kindness. You had every chance to learn, and you threw it all away, he added internally.
The metallic clang of the cell door unlocking alerted him, bringing his gaze up to stare at his visitors: the queen, princess, and princess' beau; too weary to hide his emotions from them. They shifted their stances, clearly uncomfortable about the dreary atmosphere he set about the cell.
He dared the queen to look him in the eyes as he stared, hoping that she could read them to hear his inner turmoil as she explained the plans that were to happen tomorrow morning.
"We will leave at the break of dawn, so that we can make for most of the day to travel and find the solution to the land's anger," Elsa started.
I don't deserve your mercy. So why do you continue? Hans's eyes pleaded. Or at least, he hoped they were.
"The terms regarding your behavior still apply."
I tried to kill you, make you into a fugitive in your own kingdom. Yet this is how you treat me. Why?
"We will spend a few days with the trolls."
Can't you see there's no hope for me?
"And we will leave as soon as they have more answers regarding your condition."
Hans blinked rapidly in surprise, sobs ceasing, a spark of hope alight in his chest. He almost forgot about the trolls and the faint promise of a solution in his despair. He almost resumed crying at the feeling, but allowed a small laugh of gratitude escape his lips. His visitors looked at him in confusion upon hearing the sound, but he paid them no heed.
There was a chance where things would be normal again. Or, as normal as things could be, all things considered.
He might be able to reconcile with his siblings. Or finally get his act together. Maybe even let go of all the anger he harbored against the sisters and his brothers. He might finally be free.
Or get executed without the threat of the land looming over everyone's heads.
Hans' spirit was almost crushed at the reminder of such a possibility.
No matter, in the end, he knew that it would be no less than he deserved. The punishment fit the crime, after all. He just hoped that he could, ultimately, reconcile with himself with the lost chances he had to turn his life around. Hopefully, he would die at least a decent person. Or starting to be one.
First thing's first, he wanted – no, needed – to show that change to the queen and princess. He was still angry at them, for sure, but it didn't mean that he would let it hinder his new lease on life. Anna would pose a problem, but Elsa seemed more promising. Maybe in acting kinder to them, they would reciprocate the gesture and make it easier to lift the want for revenge he harbored against them.
Maybe they would forgive him as well?
One look at Anna and Elsa, though, and the grievances against them still flickered across his mind, the desire to cut into them with his enchanted scythe still played in his imagination. This was going to be harder than he thought. Baby steps.
"I thank you, Queen Elsa. You have been most merciful and just in treating me," Hans said at last. He needed to state the facts, only say what he really felt. Don't fake it. "I hope to be able to return your graciousness in kind, one day."
Oops, that almost sounded a threat. He really needed to work on being genuine. Faking niceties came easy over years of use, it seemed that he forgot how to speak from the heart.
"N-not that I mean to do anything bad in saying that," he stuttered, stumbling over his words. "I didn't mean for it to sound like a threat – I mean, not that you thought I was threatening you –"
The sudden punch colliding against his nose halted any further attempts to explain himself, dazing him. His eyes widened in shock at the sight of Anna drawing back her fist, threatening another blow. Um, that went well? He quenched the flare of anger at the thought that she had punched him while he was unawares, again, before he forgot his promise to himself to be a better person.
"Stop acting so awkward. It's scaring me," Anna said, lowering her fist at Elsa's and Kristoff's coaxing. "You're even harder to figure out when you do that."
"I-I'm sorry, Your Highness. I'm just not used to expressing gratitude and meaning it."
"Yeah? You need to work on it more."
"Anna," Kristoff warned, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"What?"
"Don't make him angry. Remember the last time people went into his cell."
"Oh. Yeah. Right."
"You don't need to worry about that. I don't have my bag of dust with me," Han said, hoping to keep them from fearing him. Fear could easily make the situation worse. With Queen Elsa and her history with fear, he didn't want to soil any chances to fix things by becoming an ice sculpture at the next ball they would have.
"Who's to say you don't need the dust to kill us?" Kristoff pointed out.
"Look, I don't want to hurt any of you. I'm done with that. Sick of it, even."
"Yeah, says the same guy who acted like he didn't care after cutting down three people. And was completely ungrateful for all this brothers' attempts to smooth things over in their relationships. Sure," Anna bit, anger flashing in her eyes.
"Anna…" Elsa murmured, which brought Anna back to her senses and caused her to march out of the cell in a fit.
"You'll always be a monster, Hans! A monster doesn't change when all the attempts to fix them doesn't get through to their thick skull!" Anna called out as she stomped her way out of the dungeon. Kristoff looked back at the hallway outside, worried.
"But… they weren't wasted. I see that now," Hans whispered to himself as he stared at the stone floor.
"Then prove it, Prince Hans. Show everyone that you want to fix things. And maybe then everyone's views of you will change," Kristoff said as he opened the cell door wider for the queen to pass through.
Elsa looked over her shoulder, about to leave, and said, "For everyone's sake, I hope you aren't the monster that everyone fears you are." She and Kristoff left the room without another word, the lock clanging into place.
Hans reprimanded himself for having the "noble" effort to be nice to Queen Elsa and Princess Anna. Really? Nice? And not a fake nice either. If his first steps at trying to forgive the sisters were an indicator of what was to come, he knew it was going to be impossible to ever do it. Absolutely uncharacteristic of him, and it pulled against the very nature of his persona.
But he will admit, it did leave a strange fuzzy feeling at the center of his chest. Was it… satisfaction? And it wasn't the kind of satisfaction he got when he knew he had a person at the palm of his hand. It was much more pleasant, and lasted longer than it normally would. The guilt from earlier also waned a bit.
Whatever it was, Hans knew that it was completely different from the pain radiating within him. It almost brought a real smile to his face.
Almost.
With his luck, things would only get worse.
Author's Note: Yeah! Chapter done! Woo!
I hate writing chapters that are all emotional and feely and whatnot. Not really fun, hahaha. But oh man, now that the emotional plot filler is all done, I get to one of my favorite parts of the plot in the next chapter! If not then, the one after that! Yeah! Rising action! Awesomeness!
Though, knowing me, things only get exciting when things get darker when I'm writing.
Be prepared, muahahahahaha!
Thanks again for everyone who's reviewing and sticking it out with me so far! I've seriously never had this much of a commitment with any plot before, usually ending it before all the starting pieces are placed. Because those are the boring bits for me.
Really, all the reviews make me feel all nice inside and inspire me to keep writing despite the awkwardness I feel when the words are typed out. I can't thank you guys enough!