Hunger

I'm hungry?

"This is a silly word, Yuuta, what do I do? Talk about wasabi?" Syuusuke sighed into the phone. He'd called Eiji already, who had nothing to say on the subject of anything other than how wonderful Oishi was and what a tender kisser he was. As glad Syuusuke was that the Golden Pair had finally resolved all of that romantic tension that everyone on the courts was feeling for about six months, he needed help, and it wasn't very often that the tensai genuinely needed help.

He couldn't ask Tezuka, this wasn't a Tezuka matter. Besides, he just didn't ask him for help. He already owed him enough favours for constantly borrowing his English dictionary. (He could easily borrow someone else's, but Syuusuke would simply say he was too shy to ask which they both knew all too well was a lie. He would rather die than admit that no other dictionary had that distinct feel, aura of Tezuka)

If he couldn't go to Eiji, he would ask Oishi, but he would probably just start talking about Eiji. Cute, yes, but not when Syuusuke needed to talk about something else.

Inui? He'd never get a straight answer from him. Taka? Always busy. Any of the lowerclassmen? No, no and no. So Syuusuke called the only person he could ask and the last person who could ever give him a decent answer. His little brother.

I like wasabi? This isn't working.

"I don't know! You've got it easer than me!"

"Yuuta, love is simple to write about, just don't write anything filthy. In fact, don't you dare get Mizuki to help you!"

"I wouldn't dream of showing him" Syuusuke paused, noticing a shake in his brother's voice.

"Why so shy talking about love with Mizuki? Is there something you aren't telling me? Oh goodness, Yuuta, don't tell me that the reason you got so flustered when I called you is because Mizuki was utterly ravishing you until the phone rang? Is he there now?" he chuckled, satisfied with his brother's confused splutters on the other end of the line.

I don't like this at all, it's not funny. I don't struggle with anything as a rule, and now I've been sat here for over an hour and this is as far as I've got.

I'm hungry?

No, that officially doesn't work.

"Aniki! Don't be so disgusting!"
"Just asking a simple question, I mean, it's obvious you have a crush on him. Remember when he came over for dinner? All you did that evening was watch his mouth."

More splutters. "I did not!"
"You did, and you walked him home, and you came back with the faintest shimmer of gloss on your lips, it was very cute. Now, can you give me any help at all with my writing? I'm stuck"
"I'm stuck enough on my own…"

Syuusuke sighed and waited patiently for an even slightly useful answer from his sibling, when he heard Yuuta's dorm mates shouting suggestions for his baby brother's work.

"…Yuuta, whoever just told you to write porn, give them a hard slapping."

An 'ow, dane!' followed, and Yuuta told him he couldn't keep talking, it was time for breakfast. He hung up, and Syuusuke was by himself again.

Let's see what Thesaurus has to say about hunger:

Ache, appetence, appetency, appetition, craving, desire, gluttony, greed, longing, lust…

Lust…

Syuusuke lay back on his bed and, for the first time that morning, started to think. He could definitely relate to that, though it may not be something to be proud of. The tensai closed his eyes and thought of the number one thing he went back to when he thought of lust.

Tezuka.

Lust, that makes everything easier. A fifteen year old shouldn't feel lust as much as I do, but I do. I like Tezuka-kun, I like him as my friend, but I want him as my lover. I don't just want his body or anything, that wouldn't be right, but if someone did, I could definitely see were they were coming from, to say he's attractive would be an understatement.

I don't just want that either though, he's handsome, he's intelligent, but I want him because he's a challenge.

Maybe I don't want him at all, and all I really want is to crack someone as stoic as him.

That makes me sound like a slut.

Syuusuke didn't like that.

Am I a slut? The more I think about it the more I think I am. I've never had a real heart to heart with him, yet I steal glances in the locker rooms and daydream about what I want to do to him, what I want him to do to me.

Oh God, I sound like a little whore.

Syuusuke picked up his phone; he needed to ask an urgent question. Eiji? No. Oishi? More no. Everybody he knew? Absolutely no. Not Yuuta, either, though he'd probably get some delightful comments from Yuuta's friends.

…Tezuka?

Tezuka would be honest, right? He would either answer honestly or say nothing at all, he wasn't a liar. Smiling a little, Syuusuke pressed the call button.

"Aa?"
"Hello Tezuka-kun" Syuusuke twinkled, practically sending little sparkles down the phone with his voice, "I wanted to ask a question."

"At eight o'clock in the morning?"
"Am I a slut?"

Syuusuke really didn't know what it was about him that was making everyone splutter like a dying car that morning, but it had to be pretty bad as even the usually emotionless Tezuka was alarmed.

"Why," Tezuka said blankly, composing himself, "are you asking me this?"
"Because I have reached an epiphany that I'm a cheap little trollop. I need a little guidance on changing my image"

"Your image is fine, you're not…ahem…" Tezuka trailed off.

Oh crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. CRAP. Even Tezuka is trying to lie to me.

"Don't lie, Tezuka-kun, I asked you because I thought you would be honest."

"Fuji-kun…"
"If you think I'm a hussy, tell me so now before I embarrass myself further. Please Tezuka-kun!"

Tezuka was silent for a little while.

"…well, you could stop with the lingerie…"

"Oh, something else please?" Syuusuke whined.

…there is NOTHING wrong with my underwear; he doesn't even have to see it much anyway. Only those times when I wear the red lacy thong under the white trousers. I only wear them occasionally.

Wait, occasionally meaning every time Tezuka comes over.

They even say 'lust' on the label!!

Tezuka was completely silent.

"Fine…bye Tezuka-kun, see you at school tomorrow." Syuusuke hung up and sighed, looking back to his writing.

Hunger, lust, desire, I like those words, but they sound so selfish, so desperate. I hunger for Tezuka, but it doesn't mean he's the only thing in my life, I have friends, I have school, I have a little brother to protect from similarly lustful senpais.

Does anything I've written make sense?

This is nuts.

I just ate until I was full, but I'm still hungry.

I hunger for Tezuka

And I can't write sense on an empty stomach.