It was two days latter and Erwin found himself in the line at the mess hall. For two days he'd managed to do his work, avoid people who would ask questions - key among them Commander Shadis – and keep peace with Levi. The smaller man had figured out pretty fast that Erwin was avoiding him when Mike somehow never managed to run out of jobs – 'Erwin's orders' – for him to do outside. Always outside the building.

Another bowl of food found its way to his office during the one time Erwin left to use the bathroom. More steamed vegetables in a little chicken broth and rice noodles. And what looked suspiciously like bits of scrambled egg. All bland. No salt, pepper, or spices of any kind. Surprisingly Erwin was able to keep it down.

Erwin focused on the fruit selection. It was apples. This time of year it always was. The Survey Corps were the worst fed of the army divisions. The king's men didn't see the point in even feeding what they considered a useless bunch of people. Why fatten anyone up on good food if they were just going to be eaten by titans?

The apple appeared in his hand, and he gazed at it. The peel was red, shiny. Fresh. Pretty good quality, all things considering. He wondered where it came from. What family orchard grew it. How old are the trees? When were they planted? How long after humanity was Walled in did they first fruit and make apples big enough to eat? Why were they red? Do titans prefer people who eat mostly fruit diets, or animal-based cuisine? Why had apples made it into the Walls and been allowed to flourish when none of the other plants his father told him about did? Trees who's bark cured headaches; plants with leaves that could kill worms; roots who's powder helped broken bones heal. What kind of place where they trapped in where if a child breaks their bones they won't get the proper medical treatment because it's outside the Walls?

That's when Mike's hand gripped his wrist. "Erwin. Who is it?" He spoke quietly so no one else could hear.

Erwin looked at him. What kind of world do we live in where orphans are as common as flies? What would happen if the Walls fell and the titans came inside? I've seen them eat children!

"Mike. How come you and Nanaba don't have kids?"

"Because I can't have babies."

"Oh."

No one ever accused Erwin of not playing his part properly – mostly because he managed to be so low-key with his needs no one even suspected he wasn't just an average person – but Mike and Nanaba were beyond an oddity. Both of them having dominant personalities and excellent leadership skills people wouldn't expect two Type A personalities to be attracted to each other. The truth was both of them more than got along with a healthy dose of respect and more than enough alone time affection to fill in any gaps their working relationship might create.

They fit.

Erwin's heart fluttered. He had his place too. He fit as well. Just differently. He didn't know what was stranger: him being an up-and-coming squad leader with subordinates like Levi, or Mike and Nanaba not only getting along but getting along in their own place with a tub.

A part of Erwin currently blacked out by fear and trepidation smiled. This was his family: this room full of people; this building full of people; this base full of people. Each of them sisters and brothers in arms and each as committed as he to the cause.

But that's just it - No, I'm not thinking that right now.

The mess hall got quiet for a second. Then it got louder. No doubt Erwin was blocking the line and hogging the apple display was causing a problem for people who also wanted to ponder the inner workings of those red fruits. Squad Leader Mike trying to move Erwin was one thing, but Senior Squad Leader Erwin not moving was another.

"Hey." Erwin's head came around. Levi stood, glaring, his half full tray held even as he managed to cross his arms in annoyance. "It's a piece of fruit, not Wall prophecy. Move already." His eyes were alighted on the mountain of apples, not on either of the men in front of him. There was an absolute lack of personal scent, and instead an earthy fragrance of horse sweat and hay. Fresh from the stables he still had a bit of mud on his boots.

Erwin put the fruit back, Mike's hand still attached to his thick wrist, and let himself be led away. Levi took the opportunity to jump six people in line and take Erwin's spot. Protests were glared down in seconds flat. He grabbed the abandoned fruit, put it on his tray and walked out, presumably to have dinner at his usual place. People exchanged glances. He took Quad Leader Erwin's fruit? Is that all he wanted? Squad Leader is distressed, so Mike is helping, but what's Levi doing with that apple?

Mike took Erwin to his own office. It was smaller than Erwin's even, but less cluttered with comfortable furniture. Usually the squad leaders met in Erwin's office, seeing how he was the senior squad leader, and had their discussions there.

This wasn't an open discussion with the other squad leaders though. It was between the two of them only. It was dinner and the rest of the squad leaders were busy. Hanji was in the lab, as usual, and, as usual, more of their food would wind up in their experiments than in their sumach. Nanaba was jaw deep in a hot bath after running three full 3DMG classes in one day to make up for Erwin's absence. Erwin felt guilty for having his subordinates doing his work, but Nanaba shut him down fast by pointing out he'd taken over her 3DMG class more than once when she'd come two with flue twice in a row.

Erwin sat in the one chair that wasn't behind Mike's desk. Mike brought out the other chair and sat it across from his boss. The feel of incoming confrontation was as light as Mike could make it.

"Hanji says your not going through the stages properly. Nanaba agrees. They know it's not ok to stage an intervention with someone who probably weighs more than them both put together, so I guess that leaves me."

Mikes making jokes. Is that where I'm at? My subordinates are making jokes about being afraid of my reactions. Is it because I'm not going though the stages?

"What stages?"

"Well, first try telling your friends whats going on with you." Mike scented reassurance into the air, as if Erwin couldn't see it in the kind set of his eyes.

"You know what's going on."

"I want to know whats going on with you. Not just what's happening to your body."

A flood let loose in Erwin's brain, "They're going to ground me."

"What?"

"They won't..." He blinked, leaning forward into his hands and drew a knee up. Then he leaned back in the chair with his knee up. Mike leaned to the side to keep full face to face contact. That was important. He needed to let Erwin have his barrier without allowing it to actually block.

"Erwin. Who is it?"

The same question from the mess hall food line. Still spoken in that soothing tone uniquely suited to sooth those Mike wanted to sooth. Nanaba had that same tone. Even Hanji had a variation of it. They all used it on each other as needed. Their little group. Their community. The veterans.

"Haven't I been doing this long enough?" Erwin said. "Maybe I should retire."

Mike curled his lip, practically tasting the deep trepidation Erwin was broadcasting.

A knock at the door.

"Bugger off, Levi," Mike barked at the fitted piece of wood between him and the substantially shorter subordinate. "Whatever it is, it can wait. Not now."

A stone cold silence answered him back in which Erwin – through practiced skill alone – didn't get up to appease the scent of angry feral human which rolled under the door. He was hardwired to kowtow to those stronger than him, but military hierarchy came before biological ones. That wasn't Erwin's only saving grace, but it was a hefty chunk of it.

A moment passed. Two. Something thumped on the floor outside the door and though Ewin couldn't hear it, he watched Mike trace the footsteps away from his office. The territorial nature of the taller man was on full display at that moment. Territorial and protective. If Levi had stepped into the office it would have been an all-out brawl.

Mike went to the door and opened it. Regular squad leaders didn't get locks on their doors. Erwin only had one because of his seniority. Mike tipped his head to the side, like a dog studying a puzzle. He bent down and picked something up, came back in and sat back down. He held it out to Erwin.

"I think Hanji hit the nail on the head. This is the fourth time he's brought you food, correct?"

"Yes," Erwin said, studying the red, almost geometrical design on the plate. It was an apple. Red skin and shiny and... cut into the shape of a bird. "He's reaching out."

"He keeps doing it when we're trying to have discussions in the office."

"Well, that's most likely because that's when all or most of us are together."

"Why can't he bond with the peons? The veterinary staff? He likes his horse. Why us?" Annoyance, thick like sap, filled the room. Annoyance and a little bit of not wanting someone else to breach their tight circle. If Erwin wasn't the boss there's no way the lot of them could even work together. Add Levi and it might just be fire to the keg.

Erwin regarded Mike, "It's because he's already on our level. Why make friends with people who've never been beyond the wall and won't return when they do?"

Mike's scent changed, arguing.

"Because that's not how he works," Erwin explained, "His instinct is to align himself with the strongest in order to survive. That's the kind that he is. The pack-bond kind." Erwin lowered his brows and added, "You were there, Mike. You saw him loose his collective shit when his friends died. Imagine that was Nanaba. Then tell me you would willingly align yourself with people who stand a very good chance of dying on their first expedition over those who have proven themselves on the field."

Mike was skeptical, scent changing to one that clearly though Levi was partially responsible for his pack's deaths, as he studied the careful dissection of the fruit. The expert fanning of the layers to create the look of wings, feathers. It was like something you see in a window of the specialty shops in Mitras. Something this precisely sliced and delicately placed was not something even the skilled cook of the Survey Corpse headquarters bothered to learn.

Finally Mike relented, "Fine. But maybe remind him when your office open hours are. If he wants in he's going to have to earn it like Hanji did." Without missing a beat – that is, without giving Erwin time to respond – he picked up a slice of the wing and commented, "He does good work with a knife, though. I'll give him that."

Erwin picked up the same slice of the opposite wing and took a bite. "That's also something you saw first hand."

The bite was halfway to Mike's mouth before he stopped, sniffed. "This is the apple you had in the mess hall. Most of the scent is rubbed off."

"Rubbed off rubbed off, or just rubbed off?"

"Don't know. His scent isn't powerful on it, just his hands. Smells like that lavender he puts into the soap. But your scent is almost completely gone."

"Just keeps reminding me how little we know about him even though he's been on the Surface for four months now. We've gone on an expedition together, killed titans together, slept side by side that night it was cold as hell when even he came down to join us around the fire. I mean, what's his favorite color? What's his favorite flavor? What does he feel when he sees open sky?"

Mike huffed a laugh, "My guess is 'gray', 'spicy', and 'pissed off at titans'. Also, you're deflecting again."

"I don't want to talk about me."

"Tough. You're subordinates are worried."

Erwin almost glared at him for using military ranks as an excuse to play on his instinct to coddle others. Mike wasn't wrong though, so he kept his face strait.

He took a deep breath and picked another feather shaped apple slice, marveling at the dexterity it must have taken to carve this up. It hadn't been but a few minutes since Mike took him out of the mess hall before Levi showed up with it at Mike's office door. Erwin's deduction said he'd made this bird before, probably many times before judging by how fast he cut it up without seeing so much as one stray knife mark.

"I don't want Shadis to know."

Mike scented his question into the air. They both trusted their Commander, even if Erwin was slowly showing the man up in a way which was completely natural and not calculated.

"He'll ground me," Erwin said quietly. He didn't try to stop the deep, gut wrenching dread from leaking out of him. It was the first time he'd even admitted to himself what his worst fear was. "He'll tell me I can't go on the next expedition and put me on desk duty." Though Erwin tried not to the last two words were slurred.

His subordinate leadned back, arms crossed. Mike been on desk duty twice when Shadis had been a Captain. Once for a broken arm during his third expedition, and once for getting into a bar fight with Nanaba in which his arm was not only re-broken, but just about ripped off. Mike wouldn't tell Erwin why for nearly two years, but by then the promotion he earned during his desk time landed him the squad leader title first of his graduating class. Including Nanaba and Erwin.

"I'm not spoiled," Erwin snapped, not liking where Mike's scent train was leading. "How can I be above if I'm on my bottom?" He slapped the side of the chair next to his hip.

That 'irresponsible' scent was back. Along with an unforgiving hard line in Mike's mouth. Erwin's dad had been a teacher so he knew the 'I don't know how biology works' excuse was null and void.

Erwin narrowed his eyes and leaned back. "It wasn't my idea. In case you hadn't noticed this wasn't on purpose."

A hum prompted Erwin to explain himself. Instead he took in two more pieces of apple and nibbled the red edges off before inhaling the slivers of feathers and letting it get warm on his tongue. Two chews latter it disintegrated into sweet pulp and washed down his throat.

Instead of answer he went on with his explanation. "I'm not saying that I'm some kind of special case, or that Commander Shadis will need to make concessions for me, but I'm here to tell you I'm not going to step down. I'm not doing desk work. I won't give up on all the years I've put in to get this far."

"What's wrong with stepping back for a few months?"

"Can you honestly see me doing that? Stepping aside and letting someone else run the squads?"

"That someone else would be me. I'm competent. I wouldn't usurp you, either."

"We're already down one squad leader. Being down two would be too dangerous. Someone else would get promoted and then what would we do with them once I came back? No-" he cut off Mike's response "-they'll expect me to stay grounded for a few more months. By then I'll have been gone for too long. Far too long."

Mike pursed his lips like Nanaba did when she wanted to say something painfully obvious and didn't. Finally he just plowed ahead and said it.

"What about Levi?"

Erwin jerked like someone pinched him. "No."

Irritation whipped through the air between them. Consternation was nothing sexy, especially on someone with Erwin's height and heft. You're paranoid, that scent accused.

This wasn't the discussion of a leader and subordinate, but of two friends who needed to understand each other.

Is this what Levi's after? Maybe he was coming to the closed door meetings on purpose because he needed to talk to Erwin and his issues arn't something which can be discussed in something as impersonal as drop-ins-welcome open office hours with Boss Erwin. Perhaps he needed to make himself more available.

"Levi's never been a subordinate before," Erwin said, "He hasn't been one long enough to be given any power. He needs to learn more discipline. Control of himself in a group; communication skills that don't involve berating everyone's 'half assed' cleaning; interpersonal skills to shows others he doesn't assume he's better just because he skipped training. He's holding himself too far away and I just don't feel comfortable putting him in charge of a group of people when he can't even take charge of himself."

Mike listened, even nodded along to the parts he agrees with. "Give the man some credit, Erwin. He used to be food aggressive and now he's waiting his turn in line, and bringing you an apple cut up to look like a swan. It's even got seeds for eyes. Remember the first time you dismissed him at the end of his first debriefing? He though you were angry at him because you 'told him to leave' when he 'already knew he was leaving'. Now he comes to the door and knocks, goes away when he's told. No disruptions and no arguments. His interpersonal skills are also improving: if Nana says he was being nice then he was being nice. Nana's not telling lying for Levi's sake, trust me."

Mike was scenting the room to gain agreement, but Erwin was easily able to ignore it. Military training has a lot of perks in regards to countering biological manipulation of the naturally dominant types.

"While I appreciate your assessment – and I agree he's improving – that's not enough. He's not excelling at anything except 3DMG. Everything you say just means he's less feral. More average. That's not extraordinary. That just means he can hold is own along with any recruit who's been in the training program for a year. I'm not giving up my position so someone who can't even-" He stopped, almost betraying one of Levi's secrets. To himself he silently added one more thing to Mike's list of achievements: He's learning to read. "I'm not giving up my position, even temporarily, to help promote someone who randomly decides to buck the trend of following orders and does what he wants because he wants to. That's not how the Survey Corpse works. I've been shielding Shadis from Levi's insubordination, but if he had to deal with it directly he may change his mind and throw him in prison. Humanity cannot lose him to the headman."

"You've got, what, a couple more months before your … medical condition... becomes apparent. Work with him more. Tell him what's going on. Seeing how the only thing we even know about him is what his favorite cleaning products are I doubt he'll rat you out to Commander Shadis if you let him in. It might even help to anchor that elusive bond Hanji's been on about."

Erwin put his hands deeply into his hair and worked to pull out the longer strands, worrying at the product that held his coif in place. He wanted his hair disarrayed. It would match the little tornado going through his mind, ripping out all his career plans, life goals, and idea about the future and throwing them all over the place. Smashing them against the walls and watching them rain down in pieces that too easily resembled half-eaten titan food and broken blades.

"Erwin?" Concern dripped from the younger man's breathy voice, suddenly very worried. He hadn't seen his friend and comrade this distressed since they came back from their first expedition. Half the trainees who graduated with them followed Erwin into the Survey Corpse. They wanted to follow the charismatic head of their class into battle; a man who was proving even then that he was going places and doing things despite his biology. Most of them had no returned.

Mike put his hands on either side of Erwin's shoulders, staring at the top of his bowed head. "Nevermind. It's just an idea. If you think you can keep your position then I'll support you. If you don't think you'll need leave then that's fine. I won't bring it up again."

A knock on the door. Tentative.

"Let him in," Erwin said before even Mikes nose could get a whiff of whom it was.

Mike looked at the door and then at Erwin. "Seriously, it's OK. We don't have to tell him."

"Yes, I do."

"There's other options. Let's ask Hanji or Nanaba, when she gets-"

"It's him, Mike."

"What?"

Erwin's head came up, wide blue eyes shining with those tears that sat on his lower eyelids and hung out in his lashes but refused to fall. "You asked me who it was." He waited a moment for Mike to remember asking that question. "It's him. It's Levi."

The color drained out of Mike's face. It was his turn to be in shock. He turned his head towards the door. Probably not as shocked as the man who stood on the other side of the door had been when Erwin's condition became apparent and suddenly everyone was trying to separate them.

Granted, Erwin was an anomaly of the Survey Corps.

"Erwin...?" When the blonde refused to answer, hair fully disarrayed, Mike asked, "What the hell happened?"

Erwin just shook his head. "Add 'obeying military hierarchy over biological hierarchy' to the list of things he's learning to do. He's known from three days ago. I just couldn't face him yet."

"Fuck me..." Mike breathed, tonelessly standing and going to the door. Giving Erwin one last look he turned the knob and stood back as the thick slab of wood swung open.