"You need to eat more," Levi said, pushing a third tray of food across the desk. The first and second trays sat stacked by Erwin's elbow, empty.
Beside that sat three days worth of deliberately accumulated paperwork. The Interior had become even more bureaucratic since Erwin got his promotion to Senior Squad Leader. He suspected they didn't actually care how much feed each and every one of the Survey Corps' six-hundred horses ate on a weekly basis; they just wanted to 'give those freeloaders something to do' between bouts of being 'Titan chow'. A childish part of the Erwin felt targeted: the first of the paper upgrades came through his office three days ago, even though he wasn't the Commander or Captain, and certainly was not the officer in charge of livestock.
Contrary to popular belief, fueled by the fact that Erwin kept his open office hours for the paperwork grind, he didn't particularly like paperwork. The frequent interruption by members of his squad and new recruits was welcomed. That's probably why everyone thinks I'm so nice: they come and I smile like they are sunlight to eyes that haven't seen it in years. The truth is I'm just grateful for the interruption.
"Eat." The deep voice had a commanding tone to it, one that sent a stable hand to his knees earlier that day when Levi inspected his horse' stall and found it 'grimy'. That report and subsequent actions needed were deliberately stuffed somewhere in the middle of the pile of paperwork.
I need to do something to get the Interior back on our side. Levi's prowess on the field had given the blonde more than enough ammo to aim at the rumor mill, and had been all that saved their funding once they got back. An entire squad wiped out and the only one left taking revenge on the three titans who did it? Solo? The sort of heroics which got the tongues of the nobles wagging faster than rumors of incest amongst the Garrison Legions lower ranked officers. Erwin slowly introduced Levi to the rumor mill, only hoping that when the man figured out why people were whispering behind his back he'd have settled down enough not to lash out. Types like him didn't like attention.
"I ate. I'm full. Feel free to enjoy it yourself, though. You've lost weight in the last month."
It's only a matter of time before you know what all your buttons are and how to push them. You don't like the spotlight? Too bad. You're too much of an asset now for me not to showcase you to the Interior – to everyone - and let them know just how much of humanities's strength lies in you.
Since that conversation in Mike's office Levi became obsessed with giving him food. Providing. A conversation in which Levi had stood against the closed door, arms crossed, and effectively blocked Mike from exiting the room so he could be alone with someone who wasn't his natural superior. Though Erwin didn't know Levi that well he picked up on the subtle signs which he'd come to recognize as Levi, Holding Back.
In that month Erwin noted that most of the time Levi was holding back. When someone walked across his path without acknowledging him, he held back. When they gave him new bunk mates, he held back. When he stood in line for tea and it was brewed wrong, he held back. When Mike told him to go rescue someone out of a tree who'd gotten tangled up in their gear wires, he held back. When that person hugged him in gratitude, he'd held back. Really held back.
Levi was once again holding back. The fruit salad rested between them, closer to Erwin that Levi. He really was full, though despite that the small berries cut into star shapes and melon slices shaped like lizards did look nice. Fresh fruit was not standard issue to the Survey Corps, though it didn't stop soldiers from spending their own funds on it in town. Most soldiers supplemented their rations with stores of groceries they kept in their footlockers. Erwin suspected it was Levi's life in the Underground – a place that doesn't grow food at all – which drew the man to fresh produce like flies to honey.
"I'm fine," Levi said blandly by way of excusing the obvious narrowing of his face. The smaller man obviously had some hang ups about food. Acquisition, distribution, ownership. Sharing.
He'd been tossed out of the mess hall by his squad leader just after arriving for saying the place was too disgusting to eat in. To Erwin's dismay the man turned not only Levi against him, but Levi's pack as well. They closed ranks around their leader, shunned attempts to socialize after that, and started buying and preparing their own food from shops in town. It wasn't till Erwin asked how long it took them to save for the carved ham that the red-haired girl smiled and just said, "I wanted it. Levi-bro got it for me." Levi and Erwin locked eyes after that and Erwin realized that Levi used up his weekly stipend to purchase their food, and stole what he couldn't afford.
Erwin regarded the man in front of him similarly, the blatant lie, and wondered which of the three facets he'd gotten to know a bit over the last 5 months he was looking at now. Thug, premier being, or soldier? Some days I don't even know. That line you cross, when and how, I'm looking forward to the day I know which of you I'm contending with at any given moment.
Pack leader Levi went dormant when his pack did. Thug Levi soon followed when he realized he couldn't slink back to the Underground: seeing the world outside the wall had changed him. Loosing his bond-mates to the Titans sealed his hatred of the monsters. Losing someone on their first expedition was an inevitable outcome for just about every soldier. A soldier is what he became then, finally; subordinate out of survival instance. Still quick to read a situation, and always holding back.
Erwin went back to his paperwork, but said as he did, "You're the one not eating. You need to eat. The mess hall has something available at all hours if you don't wish to dine in company. You can always just eat on the roof." Reminding Levi of the roof top he avoided since his bond-mates passing was deliberate. Erwin wasn't seeing him but he smelled the reaction. Pungent sorrow at remembering how they had all dined up here; aggravation at being forced to remember; irritation that bringing up the memory had been on purpose to see how he'd react.
Levi did a good job of tamping down whatever his instaince wanted him to do. Instincts come natural to Levi's nature. The pack type was so rare that no one really knew much about it, except they nest, get territorial and the leaders only take orders from others for short periods of time before making a move.
Levi had already made his move. Twice. Erwin wondered if the third time would be the charm that either brought Levi to heel or Erwin to his knees. Again. They had used and abused each other time and again over the last five months. It lead directly to Levi's friends dying, maybe to the whole squad since Levi alone had clearly been enough to take down all three Titans alone. The backlash of that lead to Levi trying to kill him and the backlash of that lead to Erwin's current circumstances.
Levi didn't move to leave Erwin's office, knowing that the Titan was his problem [ball was in his corner] if he wanted to force the food issue. They could go rounds about who needed to eat more, but it was undeniable to Erwin that Levi could continue on for another several months like this. He wasn't back to the gauntness he bore when they drug him from the Underground, but four months of eating well on the Surface had only begun to add a small layer of fat on the hallows of those cheek. Now that fat was gone again and Erwin knew Levi could smell his frustration at his subordinate.
Erwin suspected it was because instead of eating the food Levi still purchased in town he was instead feeding it to him. Why the insistence on giving food away? Why not share, or buy more? Is it because I eat more than your bond-mates put together and you know you can't afford it and you know I won't eat food you steal?
He didn't sit down or leave Erwin's office so Erwin ignored him in favor of paperwork. Nothing was more riveting than having to justify buying five extra yards of fabric to make new curtains for Hanji's lab. The last set – lets be honest, the last three sets – had been lost in various fires/explosions and/or soaked in goop which wouldn't wash out. Why the financial officer hadn't gotten this sheet made Erwin wonder if the Commander and then the Captain wern't the ones who settled him with it, themselves not wanting to bother with procedure that was clearly beneath someone who had better things to do.
Levi spoke, face steeled into a forced expression of contemplation, "You like the oranges most, don't you? They're your favorite" Today's fruit salad was devoid of any tree-hanging fruit and it was true Erwin did miss them.
Erwin regarded him for a second. Apparently Levi was still sizing him up, trying to figure him out. Find his buttons. Even his good ones. Figure out how to push them. Manipulate.
There was clear aggression in Levi's movements as he reached over and drew the tray back to his side of the desk. He and Hanji and Mike had all been wrong about one thing: Levi did not show is affection though food. He did not bond over giving food. He was not over his food aggression. No. There is a difference, and an easily readable one, between a look of rejection when one's food offering is turned away, and the contemplation-covering-aggression look he gave his boss now.
Over the last month he'd brought Erwin food repeatedly, sometimes more elaborate than the last. The swan never showed it's graceful neck or seed-eyes again, though steaming fish wrapped in foil that was itself shaped like a fish made an appearance every week. The fifth officer's meeting interrupted by a small man and a tray laden with soup, bread purchased from a bakery in town, and yet another fruit salad Erwin came to realize it was deliberate. The man meant to show the officers – the people in power - he was providing food for Erwin.
The next day Erwin didn't let him in and the food was left outside. However Levi waited outside with it. As everyone streamed out Levi caught Erwin in the chest with the tray and pressed him back into the office and onto the couch, where he stood over him with crossed arms and a fearsome glare. Commander Shadis about blew a blood vessel at the insubordination. Levi looked terrifying, so Erwin took a bite. His subordinate relaxed immediately and strode from the room as if nothing had happened.
The message was clear: I'm providing food and you're going to eat it.
Almost as if he were trying to make conversation, Levi asked, "What's your favorite fruit?"
"That's not why I'm not eating it." Erwin said it automatically, then paused. Levi didn't ask personal questions. Didn't see the need to. Didn't question anything around him, really. One might thing he were made for taking orders, if one didn't know that in the Underground there was no way to change anything so there was no point in asking questions about why it was the way it was. Inadvertently this made it easier to bring Levi into a new environment and allow him to skip basic training, though sometimes it was painfully obvious that he had skipped basic training.
Levi didn't know military hierarchy that well yet. It wasn't something a pack-bond person like him could understand from a piece of paper and he'd never been around people who didn't act on instinct before. He'd quickly adapted. Assessing situations and acting accordingly was his major strong suit. Underneath Erwin could tell that he merely tolerated it; a lot of the time Levi didn't really understand a protocol he was observing or an action he was expected to take. He didn't question it either. That was another strong suit. One Erwin desperately hoped he wouldn't lose as he found his true place in the Survey Corps.
"Oranges," Erwin said, though he didn't know what motive Levi had for asking, "But they're expensive. Have to be shipped in from groves in the southern part of Wall Maria. A blight this year took out a lot of the early crop, so they're hoping the second flowering will save the market."
It wasn't as though Erwin were trying to shut Levi down. On the contrary, he wanted the man to open up. He was a puzzle that needed to be figured out; as if he were a knife that you could only handle with your eyes closed, so if you weren't careful and didn't know what you were doing you'd cut yourself. Learning how to handle Levi was an equally slow learning process.
Normally Erwin could get a read on people pretty fast. Size them up. Find out what they wanted. Find out what he could get from them. He made an art out of getting people to give him what he wanted. He was an intellectual weapon for the Survey Corps, one that Commander Shadis made no small coins about training up to be the next Commander. Shadis just had to live long enough to see that happen, as there were a lot of people not interested in seeing someone like Erwin achieve any high ranks.
Levi was notable amongst those people. Erwin just didn't know anything about the Underground, except the people who lived there held very old and often pre-Wall ideals about how things should be done. They lived on instinct along, forgoing actual social protocol. Laws didn't exist and if you wanted to survived then you played your part. They even still used the archaic terms to describe people's place in the hierarchy based solely on how they were born. Not the ones the Interior used to describe their families of nobles – that notion itself was newborn in comparison – but the far older ones that determined whether people were suppose to be dominant or submissive based on their biology.
When Levi and his two pack-mates hit the Surface it took almost a month to integrate them into the Corps. The culture shock was apparent, but Levi's subordinates did a far better job of adapting that Levi had. Especially after being owned publicly by someone who by all means shouldn't even be allowed to be in the military. That outward hatred ended when a Titan killed Levi's pack. Levi turned his ire away from Erwin and pointed it at the Titans, making it clear he'd put up with or do just about whatever it takes to eradicate them. That included forcing himself into a military mold and submitting to someone like Erwin.
Erwin gazed across the desk at Levi, who had yet to react to the words, remembering that five months of Levi out of the Underground didn't mean the Underground was out of Levi. Once he'd even called Erwin by one of those old-time words, demanding in no uncertain terms who should be giving orders to whom. The confrontation led to Erwin's current state of trepidation about being grounded by his Commander once his condition progressed. The confrontation didn't go on the records, in case Shadis decided Erwin couldn't handle the street thug and put him under someone else's command. Thing is Levi's ability to fake subordination was all Erwin could ask for as he slowly came to understand what made Levi tick and how to work it to his advantage.
"I'm not leaving till you eat it," Levi said.
"I'm not hungry."
"Then it looks like the library is just going to stay grimy for another day."
Putting off cleaning to make sure I eat? Maybe he's not just food aggressive.
Erwin conceded, "I'll eat it when I get hungry again. Scout's honor."
"Tch" Levi turned and left, holding back another order, retort, sass, and/or assault to the bridge of Erwin's. Always holding back.
Interesting: he left.
Erwin went back to paperwork. As easy as it was to get lost in the puzzle that was Levi once more he focused his mind on the paperwork. Hanji would get their new curtains, but if they ruined this set inside of three months like the last set Erwin was going to have shutters installed on the outside.
Or maybe just brick it up instead...
~ A Few Days Latter ~
Erwin's Office
"Thank the Walls I was wrong about him being over the food aggression." Hanji was a third of the way up the body of the fish as they spoke. "Otherwise I'd have missed this!"
The trout this time was almost three times the size of the last several and Levi delivered it on a piece of wood which had obviously been used to cook the fish. The idea of roasting anything on a raw slab of wood seemed crazy to Erwin until he'd tasted it.
"That's red cedar," Mike said after the first sniff of steam when Erwin peeled back the layer of foil. This time it did not come shaped like a fish itself. "Rare in these parts. Only grows wild up in North Rose, near the mountains."
Nanaba agreed, a third of the way down the body of said fish by the time either Mike or Erwin realized she had no intention of sharing with men till she was done. Hanji might not have an obvious dynamic, but the person was still viscous if something came between them and something of interest. The wisest thing to do was let them fatten up and roll over to the couch before the senior officers could move in for cold leftovers.
Erwin asked, "Think I could have a taste before it's all gone?"
Mike covered his mouth with his hand and laughed softly as Nanaba snarled at her superior just as softly. Erwin huffed and crossed his arms, sitting back down in the chair behind his desk. Nanaba missed lunch today because he asked her to help with the paperwork overload. Levi brought him lunch as had become the routine, but there wasn't enough for both and Nanaba insisted she wasn't hungry. She lied. And missed lunch. So now she was tucking into the dinner Levi brought.
Mike looked over at Erwin. You know this is because she knew it's Friday and he always brings fish on Friday. Fish is her favorite.
Erwin's silent reply was, Yes, I know. I just though I'd get a taste before it's gone. Never had lemon over fish before.
Mike laughed softly again. Yeah, that might not happen. If your quick you might can snag one of the lemons though. I mean really quick.
Erwin chuckled this time. And risk pulling back a stump? No thanks.
Nanaba leaned back, burped with her hand over the belly. "That's just... fantastic fish! Where'd he learn to cook like that? They don't even have fish in the Underground!"
Erwin shrugged. "No idea. I'm not teaching him and even our cooks don't import cedar to grill fish on."
Hanji said, while spitting out bones, "This isn't store bought trout. It's most likely wild caught."
Nanaba asked, "How can you tell?"
Hanji shrugged, "Scientific deduction." That was all that needed to be said. A long time ago they learned to just take Hanji's word for it rather than risk the explanation they learned not to ask for.
Erwin darted in, snatched up a lemon and darted back out quicker than Nanaba could brandish the fork which came with the platter to stop him. He danced all the way back to the bay window behind his desk before easing down to sit on the ledge and savor his prize. His size belied his speed, on foot as well as the 3DMG.
Hanji and Mike took great amusement watching Nanaba stare down her friend as he tasted the food he'd stolen from her without permission. Nevermind the fish was procured for Erwin: everyone knew the officers shared food. So what if Nana was eating the Titan's share and not letting anyone but the genderless Hanji share it with her? Some people just had their territorial days and Nanaba hadn't had one in a while. Just another unspoken understanding of comrades who worked together as long as they had.
A knock on the door.
Hanji deliberately avoided Erwin's reaction as they quipped, "If that's the waiter, tell him I'd like a glass of the house chardonnay. "
Erwin chuckled softly, making a face around the slice of lemon he was sucking on.
Suddenly the door pushed open. Every officer was standing, facing the sudden intrusion. One did not simply enter the Senior Squad Leader's office without permission, especially when all the Squad Leaders were currently located within. Obviously they had important matters to discuss.
And fat trout to eat.
Levi bared his teeth at Nanaba and growled. Suddenly the scent of angry feral human was too thick. Erwin coughed automatically, a physical reaction to the instincts they instantly produced.
"Oh, shit," Mike said, jumping forward to intervene. They all knew how badly this looked so none could blame him for how badly the impressively pressenced man was about to react. They could only hope to hold him back long enough to-
"Levi, st-" Erwin didn't even get the command out before Levi and Mike butted heads. No way was the tallest man going to let the shortest get his small ass handed to him by Nanaba. Mike would rather get beaten instead and save himself the headache of dealing with an irate mate for the next several days.
Levi may be good at fighting, but Nana liked to fight. Nanaba's answering scent and challening response growl only egged both Levi and Mike. If Mike wasn't fighting to protect Nana in the aspect of his mate he'd have let Levi go. This wasn't an officer brawl he was trying to prevent, but a social brawl.
Erwin grabbed Levi around the waist and physically hauled the snarling animal away from Mike. It spoke volumes for Erwin's ability to tamp down his instincts and not just approach two soldiers fighting for dominance, but to physically intervene. Most of him yelled at him for approaching, knowing half of the issue was him and half of it was misunderstanding.
"Levi, I let her have some. It's fine."
Levi whirled around in the small space of Erwin's arms – to Erwin's surprise of how flexible that spine really was – and shoved his superior's chest hard enough to knock open the embrace. The physical reaction surprised everyone. Levi knows about Erwin's condition... but it's not as if it effaced his pectorals.
He stopped, panting slightly, an angered flush on his face. "I'm not making food to kowtow to them," He leveled such a condemning glare at all three officers behind him before adding, "They can feed their damn selves!"
"I was sharing. There's nothing wrong with sharing."
"I though I wasn't giving you enough. You're not getting fat yet. I brought you bigger fish this time. You always liked that best." The exlanation shot strait to the core of Erwin. He couldn't help the tiny twitch of a smile that almost graced his face. Then Levi ruined it by adding, "Now I know they've been stealing it. I can fix that."
He made to lunge past Mike once more before Erwin caught his wrist. Levi snapped to an abrupt hault but didn't attack Erwin to release him. It wouldn't be as simple as pushing on his chest; he'd have to hurt him to make him let go and his common sense wouldn't let him do that. Not now and probably not at all anymore.
"It's not stealing if I'm sharing," Erwin explained, trying to be gentle in his explantion so he didn't upset Levi further. He still kept an edge of superiority in his voice too, letting Levi know that even if the smaller person disagreed he'd still have to obey. "We share: all the officers share. If one of us has food we share it with each other."
"I don't want to feed them." The anger in the dark haired man's voice took Erwin strait back to the Underground, hearing the way he'd snarled out his name the first time they'd spoken to each other. And after that when Levi was uncuffed and allowed to seat himself comfortably. Erwin refused to uncuff his friends till they got to the surface and Levi had kept that snarl in his voice until they had. It had set everyone on edge, as if the violence of the pack leader was only ever seconds from errupting.
"Well I do. It's how we work. I hoped you'd figure that out on your own, but apparently not. So I'm telling you: if one of us eats then we all eat."
"That's not how it works! He's her mate: he can feed her himself."
Interesting, Erwin noted, It's not Hanji he's got a problem with, but specifically Nanaba. And specifically because she's pair bonded.
"Actually," Mike said as neutrally as possible while pouring calming pheromones into the air, "our friendship and working relationships run alongside our personal relations."
For the first time since Erwin pulled him off of Mike Levi looked at the tall man, craning his head up to meet his eyes. "Yeah, lets see how long that lasts. I may be some Underground runt who doesn't understand your Surface bullish hierarchy, but even I know you can only play kennel so long before one of you becomes the sire and one of you the bitch."
Mike's face showed rare surprise by that condemnation, and Nanaba went perfectly still as she read her man's reaction. Hanji's hand came up to cover their mouth, not being able to comprehend that Levi just said that.
Erwin pulled Levi back to regain his attention, breaking the sudden stillness of the room.
"That's not how it works here, Levi. We're friends and we work and fight together. We share blood, sweat, tears and food. You've seen that on the expedition. Nothing gets wasted."
Indignant with he obviously though was a piss-poor excuse Levi twisted his wrist out of Erwin's grasp. The larger man could have kept aholt of it – after all it was small and so delicatly boned – but his instincts told him to let go of an angry being who didn't want to be held.
"You're wrong. You don't even know how wrong you are. " He glared at Erwin with surprising heat, "They're taking advantage of your state to get food from you. They know you'll give in and let them have it because it's in your nature. Don't tell me I'm not telling the truth either – when I walked in all you had was a lemon slice to suck on while that puggy puppy right there -" he pointed a thumb over his shouder at Nanaba - " was literally sucking meat off the bones. Do you honestly thing she needs it more than you do?"
"My subordinate missed lunch. I don't mind sharing."
Now Levi turned a frightening shade of red. Holding back... always holding back. "She. Has. A. Mate."
Mike couldn't help himself. "Yeah, I was just waiting my turn for some fish, too. It's not just she and Hanji who were going to enjoy it. There's enough for all four. Erwin was just being nice letting them eat first. We're above hoarding food here."
Levi sucked in a sharp breath and then expelled it with a viciousness that bespoke the violence he wanted to unleash instead. In such small space and with four people – because he knew Erwin would be the first to react – he wouldn't get far if he attacked. He might headstrong but no way would he try to take on this many in such a small space and with only the one knife they knew he carried in his boot.
"That's now how it works," Levi said, not having words to explain. He didn't know but they though they understood. They didn't know they didn't understand at all.
"Levi," Erwin said with some authority, "you're a pack leader. You should know better than anyone that making sure the pack gets food is important." Erwin may not understand pack dynamics that well, but he though he understood them enough to try and reach Levi using pack logic.
Levi froze. A small whine of confusing escaped before he could say anything. His pupils dilated. Erwin knew then he fucked up and said something wrong. Levi's chest rose and fell in a controlled hyper breath.
"That's not how it works," the small man said finally, looking every inch his high and alleged weight, "That's not how it works at all. The pack leader doesn't eat unless there is enough food to feed everyone. You'd starve. You will starve. There's never going to be enough food to feed a pack this size!"
Erwin wanted an explanation, but seeing the psychoanalysis coming Levi opted out – yet again- and quickly retreated. He practically ran away from the confusion the four instilled n him. It went against everything he knew, the way these Surface dwellers acted. When he left he took confusion and anger with him. In his wake he left unease and unhappiness.
"That... did not go well." Hanji was astute in their observations as always.
"No," Mike agreed aloud, while going over to the window to help clear the wariong pheromones from the room, "It did not."
"Did you see me, though?" Nana asked with a self-satisfied smile, "I was amazing."
Erwin quirked up a grin, unable to stop it. Nana was an icebreaker. "Yes," he agreed, "You not attacking the little gutter snipe and putting him in his place was amazing self control. I'm constantly impressed on how much you've improved."
Hanji laughed, "Watch it, Erwin. She's angling for your job!"
Mike smiled fondly at Nanaba, "Of course she's amazing. No one ever gives me credit for my part though. Do you know how much I spend on scented candles -some that float! - and bath salts to keep this woman in a calm state of mind?"
"I know how much you spent on that tub, though." Hanji quipped, "and if that's any indication of the investment you place on the happiness of your homelife then I'd say your bank account is about as wrecked as your sheets are by Monday mornings."
Nanaba grinned, "You have no idea. I'm not giving up till Mike is well and thoroughly pregnant." Mike snickered at that impossibility, but certainly didn't mind the trying.
Erwin sighed, "Can I have some fish now?"
"No," Nana said bluntly, sitting back down and picking up the fork, "I'm going to eat half of it just to make that little shit madder than Hanji's steroidal rage."
"Hey! That was years ago! I don't experiment on myself anymore!" Hanji tucked into the fish again too, knowing they ere exempt from asking to eat or being asked to stop eating.
Mike sat on the couch and Erwin joined him, both of them eying the two bent over the desk picking at the fish with fingers and sharing the one fork.
Mike said, "He was mad like 'roid rage, though. Wonder what he's going to do about it."
"The best scenario would be for him to get the meaning of what I said and finally understand officers who are also friends, and sometimes more."
"The worst is that he really starts treating us like a pack. I think that would make him an outsider. He compares human behavior to that of dogs a lot. I don't think he had much interaction with people before he pack-bonded those two friends of his."
"Yes," Erwin said leaning his head back along the soft curve of the couch, "and I've seen what packs of dogs do to single outsiders. If he thinks its only a matter of time before we turn on him then either he'll try harder to get on the inside...or he'll wait for us to turn on him and be prepared to take out as many of us as he can before he goes down."
First Draft: 3/17/16