Mostly film-verse, this is set during Caspian's voyage home immediately following the Pevensies' return to their world; it examines how, even though Edmund is gone, Caspian cannot forget.
The title and the quote at the beginning of this piece are from And Death Shall Have No Dominion by Dylan Thomas. As always, any character(s) you recognise here belong to C. S. Lewis.
Though lovers be lost love shall not
Lilliandil asks, once or twice on the return to Narnia, what it was like to be so close to Aslan's Country. You don't answer. You change the subject, not caring what you talk about as long as it isn't that, because you're still in a huge amount of pain and, in any case, the detail of that part of the journey home is blank in your memory. When you think about Aslan's Country all you can think of is Ed. Ed, and how much having him ripped from you hurts. You'll never see him, touch him, or make love to him again.
You and Ed had spoken little about what was coming, because it was too painful and you didn't want to cast a shadow over what scarce time you had left together before the end came. And you had both known, without anybody saying a word, it would be the end. You remember well how Ed had wept, railing against how you were both losing the life, and love, the two of you wanted so much.
The second time you change the subject when Lilliandil asks about it is the last time she mentions it; she's managed to work out there's something you're not telling her. You know you're being unfair. As your promised Queen, it's unfair, too, for you to keep from her the knowledge of how she can never hope to hold your heart.
And why.
But if you can't have Ed any longer then you want to keep his memory close, and you don't want to share him. Not with her, who after all barely knew him. Not with anyone.
At night, alone, you also weep; cursing against the fate that stole your love from you. But what quest is there that can ever bring him back?