AUTHORS NOTE: HEY GUYS! i know, i know super short update but as i said this was a two parter so it is the second part of Chapter 4... So if you look at it that way Super Long! A lot bigger things coming up for Emily once she's out of Rosewood so please bare with that one. There's Drama, Pailyness and mystery all to come!
Sidenote: Have a listen to SNOW PATROL "YOU COULD BE HAPPY" It's one of those songs that i think applies so well to Emily's feelings/regrets in this story. Let me know if you agree!
Please do review it makes all this really worth it hearing what you guys think
Much love as always and next update will be up Saturday!
RB
x
Emily
Hours had passed since Sara had left. Emily sat in the same position of her porch staring into nothingness, knees clutching her chest sheilding the thudding heartbeat that had yet to slow after the previous events. A bitter coldness had evolved throughout the night but she felt immune to it all. Emily continued to sit motionless only moving to quickly slip through the door unnoticed as her mother pulled into the street.
An awkward tension filled the room as the two sat down to dinner. Pam glanced over curiously to the empty place setting that usually set opposite Emily. Other than the occasional sounds of deep sighing and knives scraping across plates you could hear a pin drop. Pam opened and closed her mouth countless times trying desperately to think of a way to strike up the topic of the missing girl but it was no use. She was just going to have to come out with it.
"Are we going to talk about this or just eat in silence?" Pam finally broke down the social barrier, dropping her fork to her plate with a clatter before fixing her gaze on Emily.
"There is nothing to talk about" The girl replied bluntly ,failing to acknowledge her mother instead opting to continue pushing her food aimlessly around her plate.
"Emily i am not having secrets in this house, now youre going to answer me right now befor.."
"What do you want me to tell you?!" Emily slammed her hands against the table startling her mother.
"My Best friend isn't speaking to me, my Girlfriend of 2 years has just up and left without so much as a 'see ya' and just to add another spice to the shit stew that is my life, I get to spend my summer placement in sunny California with my Ex"
Pam's eyes widened at the reveleation.
"You got a placment at Stanford?..Does Pai..."
"Can i please be excused?" Emily quickly interuppted before Pam could bring Paige up.
Without confirmation Emily pushed away from her chair almost tipping it to the floor. Throwing her napkin on the plate and avoiding the glare coming from her mother she retreated to her bedroom slamming the door in her wake.
Emily rested her head against the inside of the door slowly slipping down to her knees as she choked back a sob. 1001 thoughts were running through the girls head as she looked to the empty bed across the room. She ran her hands violently through her dark hair trying desperately to rid the thoughts in her head from switching to memories of Paige. The pain shot through her like a knife as she thought back to the girl. For a moment she felt like she was having a panic attack. She dug her nails into the skin of her thighs hoping that physical pain would distract the ripping feeling in her heart, but it was no use.
Not only had Emily just lost all that she had known for the past two years but soon she was going to have to face the girl that flipped her world upside down.
*BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP*
Emily squinted one eye open trying to search through the darkness for a sign of the alert. She had fallen asleep curled up in the fetal postion on the floor. Crying into a mere state of exhaustion she felt no desire to crawl into bed. Her slumber was interupted by an incoming call. Reaching frantically for her pocket she had hoped it was Hanna finally returning her calls but was suprised to see a Skype call from spencer.
Running her hands through her hair and wiping away any evidence of smeared make-up she quickly accepted the call.
"Hey!" The brunette shrieked at the top of her voice from behind the screen. "Im sorry i hope i didin't wake you!"
"Spencer! Where the hell have you been? you havent called in weeks"
Emily tried to match Spencers enthusiasm whilst simultaneously clearing the evident grogginess in her voice.
The two had not spoke regularly since Spencer had moved to England to start her law degree at Oxford, although they still made sure they set time apart to send emails and even had movie skype dates monthly with Aria in New york.
"I'm sorry, my lectures have been kind of kicking my butt. Soooo, i haven't heard from Hanna. Instead i'll get it straight from the horses mouth.. Where did you get placed this summer?" Spencer asked full of curiosity and excitement.
Emily's head dropped at the comment, she clearly wasn't prepared to sit through the next hours worth of Pep talks but she knew Spencer would figure out something was bothering her, the brunnette had a unique ability to read people like a book, and Emily was no exception to the rule.
"I..Uh i got into the Sports Pschology department for an elite athlete programme " The girl paused briefly to look up at Spencer's grinning face, eagerly waiting to hear more. Emily took a deep breath before finally choking out her next comment.
"It's at Stanford."
Spencer's mouth dropped open as she sat back in her chair shocked. The two sat just staring at eachother for what seemed like forever, neither knowing what to say next.
"Sara is gone" Emily finally piped up drawing Spencer back into the convesation.
"Oh, Em.. look i don't want to say i told you so but..."
"Don't ok" Emily interuppted before they got into the familiar topic of how Spencer thought Sara was trouble.
"I just don't know what to do, you and Aria aren't around anymore, Hanna isn't talking to me"
"Wait why isn't Hanna speaking to you?"
" We got into a fight, she was going on about how i treated Paige before she left and i just snapped" Emily wiped a tear quickly from her face hoping Spencer hand't noticed.
"Spence what am i going to do? What if i see her there? I don't think im ready to face that... i dont think i'll ever be ready" Emily no longer wiped away the tears. She watched her friend look on sympathetically clearly raking her brains for the right thing to say.
"Em, i know this probably won't be what you want to hear.. but maybe seeing Paige isn't such a bad thing"
Emily's brows furrowed in confusion.
"Just hear me out, i know i may not be Sara's biggest fan but i think we can both agree she is a very troubled. Heck you spent most of your relationship fixing her and look where it got you" Spencer shrugged gingerly hoping that she hadn't hurt the girl even more.
"Paige was your way of getting away from everything not a constant reminder of everything that Andrew done to us. That girl would have died just to see you smile Em"
A small smile escaped Emily's tremberling lips as looked over to her wardrobe before fixing her gaze back to the Spencer.
The call was interuppted by numerous voices coming from Spencers end.
"I'm sorry thats my roommate. Look i gotta' go ok but i'll call you tomorrow, don't worry about Hanna i'll talk to her" Spencer assured before the two exchanged goodbyes.
Minutes after ending the call Emily looked once again to the space under her wardrobe. She let out a hitched breath before wondering over dropping to her knees as she reached under to pull out a small wooden box.
Inside were a few items that Emily hadn't seen in years. She pulled out the familiar Rosewood Sharks swim hoody pressing it to her nose as she breathed in the scent. It still smelt of the girl. Her signature Calvin Klein perfume with a hint of chlorine. Continuing to rummage through the momentos Emily was suprised to see her old IPod that she thought was lost. Turning it on she began to flick through the old songs stopping momentarilly to run her thumb over the playlist simply named 'P'.
Releasing a breath she was unaware she was holding she clicked on the first song and slowly lifted the headphones to her ears.
SNOW PARTOL- You could be happy.
You could be happy and i wont know.
but you werent happy the day i watched you go
and all the things that i wished i had not said,
i played in loops until its madness in my head.
Is it too late to remind you... how we were?
But not our last days of silence..screams and blur.
Most of what i remember makes me sure.
i should have stopped you from walking out the door.
Squeezing her eyes shut to avoid the fresh waves of tears Emily ripped her headphones from her ears and threw the IPod to the other side of the room, letting out a series a short sharp breathes as she clutched the hoody tightly to her chest.