Didn't look over this much, expect errors.

Thought I'd post something since it's been so long....I would've uploaded it eariler but I went to see some second rate movie about cars...you know the one.

Chapter 8

It's barely the first day, damn it, and I've been wondering for a while, it's simple really, it's something that a normal personal doesn't worry about, where am I going to sleep? There's no way we're going to sleep in the same bed, that would be far too awkward. But...I don't think I would mind. How does it really feel sleeping with someone else in the same bed? ….... Simply sleeping and not doing anything lewd, at all.

Though, there's no way it's going to happen, it's just inconceivable that we'd sleep together. But, I kinda wanna know how it feels, wanting to know is normal isn't it, and is wanting to know that so wrong? Eh....damn it....what do I do in a situation like this? My mind tells me no, but my heart tells me yes. But how can my heart tell me anything its only purpose is to pump blood throughout my body, so how can it tell me yes? Logic or desire....what do I do? One part of my head says yes while the other says "hell no."

I should just sleep on the floor, yeah...it's not that uncomfortable...well maybe.... Although, what if my back hurts in the morning or I have a neck creak or something, it be pain in P.E. And looking at the board would be a hassle that would hurt! Damn it! On the floor....but the bed is so comfy and there's pillows....and sheets....and it'll be cold on the floor! ….just imagine I wouldn't be able to sleep from the constant waking up due to the frigged night. Oh come on! What is this? I'm simply going to end up going back and forth and never get anywhere! It'll be a repeat of the times I procrastinate on doing my homework, by the time I'm made a decision it won't matter! Ahhhh! Got to keep calm, I can't scream if I did, what would happen?.....well nothing really, I guess... but for some reason that fact is lost to me....although I'm thinking it, I don't care about it.

A perfect example of why people do stupid things. Who cares if there's consequence I'll deal with them later like when I'm dead... I've completely lost track now, wasn't this about where I was going to sleep?Why don't I just sleep with his sister? She might be bothered by my presence though; I wouldn't want to make her angry at me. No, see this is just me reasoning, so I can stay in his room tonight....why am I even thinking about this right now?

I threw myself off of the bed and walked to the door....hah...I need to get my mind off this. I'll just see what he says. I really don't want to make a decision right now anyway, I'd rather just waste my time watching some not-so-mind-numbing television. It defeats the purpose...don't you watch television so you don't have to think? I mean really...in those mystery shows most people simply stare don't they, since the answer is going to be given to them regardless if they think or not. I wonder...where am I going to sleep tonight....

I walked down the stairs and sat my butt on a sofa, hoping to be engrossed with whatever what was on. It really didn't matter to me, the shows were different as I said before...so there was nothing that really made me want to watch television. I guess, I'm not such a giddy school girl am I? Is that a bad thing? I really hope it's not, though I guess it doesn't matter what the answer is. Not like I can really do anything anyway. I wonder what's for dinner.....

Yes this is good just stay from the other question, I have to let my mind wander. Hopefully it never gets back to that question, maybe it'll get lost somewhere and justs die...how nice would that be? Not that I want a response for that question since I'll probably have something to say regardless of the answer. There's just no easy way....damn it's coming back! Damn stay away! I Don't want that to think about that.

…...

….....

….......

"What are you doing?" Asked a voice behind me, I was able to recognize it as Kyon's solemn voice.

I shifted my laying body to see him, "Why do you ask if you already know?" I moaned as I turned back to face the television. Even if the show was boring, it was better than doing nothing....

"For the same reason you do," he said as he came around the sofa and pushed my legs of a cushion so he could sit down.

"Where are you going to sleep tonight?" He quizzed while his gorgeous, shimmering brown eyes continued to look at the television with his usual nonchalant attitude. No, but, that's overdoing it.

I brought my legs back on to the sofa to bend them closer to my body, even going as far as hugging them. "I dunno..." I simply said avoiding the question altogether. Can I kick him out of the room? ….wait what?

"..."

"....."

"......"

Our eyes were simply affixed on the television, and neither of us said anything for the remainder of the time we watched television. It was quiet until his sister came along and started to pester me...

"Hi, Onee-chan~" A big smile enveloped her face, it was so full of warmth, she was so cute, and seemed so pure....I can't stand it....I can't talk to her, it reminds me of him.... I have to get away from her somehow... and for once I was called Onee-chan, but it's not him...it doesn't feel right...it feels sickening.

I simply wanted to raise from the seat and walk up stairs then slam Kyon's door shut. Where inside I'd sprawl myself on his bed and try to not cry. It was too much, trying to not think about him....why's that?I should think about him...I don't want to forget him, I just want to be able to keep myself together....what's wrong with that...though I have to keep together while still thinking about him and everybody else, if not I may forget who I really am. But, I can't stand to look at her....I need to leave...somewhere...anywhere, just get away from this and run away...to where? Who cares. If I could run away to my home...how great would that be? The path home is a more complicated one that I can't reach by myself that's the only thing stopping me.

"He-llo," I said trying not to think about him, my younger brother. She seemed so much like him...I wanted to see him right now, this instant. Yet only a young innocent girl stood there looking me in the eyes expecting more from me... "Do you need something," I quivered.

I didn't bother to see what Kyon was doing, I was just looking this girl in the face. She was...cute...she seemed so playful.... I can't stand it! Someone just get me out of here, I need something to stop myself from going into a bawl right about now...this proves it I can't share a room with her....that's not the point here though; did she really have to talk to me?

She put a finger on her lips then pointed it at me while saying: "Your taking up too much space." I avoided looking at her as she talked.

"O-oh," I stuttered while pulling myself up and making room for her in between Kyon and me. She stood there though and didn't move an inch, instead she put a finger on her lips again.

"But I rather sit on th edge, please?"

To not have to talk to her any longer, I complied and moved closer to Kyon, she grinned as if she had accomplished something once thought chimerical. She sat down and stayed still for a while....playing with her feet.

"Scout over more, Onee-chan, Kyon doesn't need that much space," she giggled as she finished and I moved closer to Kyon. Why is she doing this? "Thank you~" she said while trying to hold back her giggles. I was too close to him now, I wanted to ask her to scout over but realized this is what she intended to do from the beginning.

She thought this was funny, didn't she? She wanted to see 'us' close to one another....but....I'm not who she expects me to be.... I'm not going to cuddle with him or even rest my head on his shoulder. But....I sure wanted to....oh...I restrained myself and simply sat quiet as she giggled and he cluelessly looked at the television set.

Geez...why was this happening? It was so hot, I was even sweating, I was too nervous. Even though I knew nothing was going on....I guess my hormones got the better of me...what do you expect? A teenage girl sitting next to someone she wants.....she's going to get nervous...

When it comes to matters like this, I'm lost.....

Chapter 8—End

A.N. Hmmm......what was I going to say.....

How long was it has it been now?

Oh...right... as you see I make a lot of errors in my writing, so if a beta reader out there reads this and is intrested in editing and helping me out send me a message or a leave something about it in your review if you could, many thanks. I don't want to bother looking for one....