WHAT'S THE POINT IF YOU CAN'T HAVE SOME FUN?

Humour

Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato

Words: 1045

What does Team Torchwood do when they're bored? Having a bit of fun! Inspired by the quote from the Torchwood Novel "Consequences" (from the short story Virus): "That time we came into your office, and we'd switched clothes just to make you laugh. Gwen was in my suit, Tosh was in scrubs, and me and Owen were wearing Gwen and Tosh's clothes. You laughed so hard, the coffee came out of your nose."

Written for the Torchwood Fic Week 2015, for the Prompt "Costume".

...

"So, why again are we doing this?"

"Oh, come on, Owen, stop complaining! It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, right. You can talk, Gwen, look at you - you don't even look silly in that suit!"

"Are you afraid of losing your dignity, Owen? Bit late for that anyway."

"Oh, shut it, teaboy!"

"Guys! Get it together! Jack's back and going up to his office!"

"Thanks, Tosh. All ready?"

Team Torchwood exchanged some scrutinizing looks. It was a calm day that had followed a rough week of non-stop rift activity which had found its climax in the previous day. They'd chased a carnivore alien and met one of Jack's old accquaintances from before their time. In the end, they had managed to kill the alien - but Jack's friend had been hurt in the course of action. Today, however, they were stuck with boring paper work, though they all agreed that they really deserved a day off. And what did Team Torchwood do when they were bored? Well, today they'd had the simply hilarious idea to switch clothes.

Gwen was in Ianto's suit, Tosh in Owen's Jeans, shirt and medical scrubs(all of which hang loosely on her body and made her appear tiny in the clothes). Ianto had wedged himself in Gwen's black trousers, her shirt, and even put on her leather jacket. Now he felt like he barely could move his arms anymore. But the best one was Owen, who'd switched into Tosh's clothes that happened to consist of a low-cut blouse and a skirt.

While eyeing one another up, the doctor snorted and commented: "Oh, Jack'll like that, Ianto. Trousers that tight..."

The girls started giggling, and Ianto grinned. "Bet you're right. Though I'd watch out for myself, if I were you, Mr. Fancy-Skirt. Should wear that more often, really brings out your legs nicely!"

Another round of laughter, and Tosh offered: "I agree, you should keep it. I've got a few more like that one anyway!"

Owen grumbled something - though he still had a smile on his lips -, and then pushed his friends forward. "Come on, then, let's go before I change my mind!"

The team slowly entered the Hub's central area and gazed up to Jack's office to see if the man was still there - he was, sitting with his back to them, flicking through some files.

"Alright", Gwen whispered and moved forward, leading their strange little procession up to the Captain's office. It was the funniest image - the four of them giggling and whispering while sneaking along as quietly as possible, trying not to attract Jack's attention.

Gwen uncomfortably fumbled with her tie, and Tosh tried to avoid stumbling over the too long trouser legs of Owen's jeans. The doctor meanwhile complained that the tight skirt only allowed him to make small steps, while Ianto bit his lips to withold himself from groaning as Gwen's trousers pinched his skin in the most inconvenient places. As they reached the office, they stopped awkwardly in front of it. "Should we, I don't know, knock?", Gwen asked, and as the rest of them shrugged, she just went for it.

"Mhm-mhm", came the answer from inside the room, and after another short moment of hesitation, it was Ianto who reached for the door handle - another exchange of excited looks - and opened the door.

They entered one after another, lining up next to each other and trying to keep their faces straight. For a few moments - nothing happened. Jack was still going through that file and skimmed another page before closing it, reaching for his coffee and, while taking a sip, looking up to them - at which point he snorted and splurted his coffee all over his desk. Jack stared at his team for a second - and then, he burst out in laughter, leaning back in his chair, his whole body shaking.

Gwen, Owen, Tosh and Ianto desperately tried to stay serious, but it was just too hilarious.

As Jack's laughter stopped while the man was gasping for air, Ianto crossed his arms (there was an alarming sound of protest against the straining coming from Gwen's leather jacket) and asked with a raised eyebrow: "What's so funny, Sir?"

That sent Jack over the edge once more, and this time, they all joined in, washing off all the tension that the stress of the past week had left on them.

As the Captain had managed to calm down, he jauntily got up and stepped around his desk towards them, carefully eyeing them up individually. "Huh, look at that, Gwen Cooper in a suit - elegant. - Nice scrubs, Tosh. Baggy style. Neat. - And Owen...", Jack playfully slapped the doctor's arse. "You're really sporting that skirt!"

"Hands off, Harkness!", Owen growled but there was a grin on his lips.

Jack chuckled, and then stopped as he laid eyes on Ianto, extensively sizing the man up.

"Bit of a tight fit", Ianto quipped and, remembering he wasn't alone with the Captain, started blushing.

"Yeah", Jack breathed, pulling Ianto close. "Need any help getting out of it?"

"Here we go!", Owen groaned, rolling his eyes.

Jack laughed and winked at him before leaning in to Ianto to press a kiss on his cheek (and whisper in his ear, unheard by the others: "We should go shopping sometime and extend your wardrobe a bit...").

Then he stood back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You know, actually I feel quite offended that you didn't invite me to your little game of dressing up."

"We needed someone to appreciate the view, Sir", Ianto responded with a shrug.

Jack leered at him. "And I do. - Well, I hope you know what you signed up for. You're gonna have to stay like this for the rest of the day, now that you've started it!"

"No way!", Ianto and Owen exclaimed simultanously.

"Got a better idea", the doctor continued. "It's nothing up with the Rift today, and it's been a rough week. How 'bout we take the day off and go to the pub? Drinks are on me."

"Well, I guess that's a compromise." Jack's eyes wandered regretfully over his team. "Though it's a true shame to take all the fun away!"