Primus's Place
Primus's Place
Hello, I am Primus. Welcome to the first episode of Primus's place! These chapters will be short, and they will probably suck. Basically, I will interview the cast of Naruto and show them things they never knew about, including the types of fan fictions we have. Today, we have Naruto! How is it going?
"Wh-where am I? What am I doing here?"
First question, you are in my Inner Sanctum.
Thunder crashes
…Ok, second, didn't you hear the introduction!? Anyway, first question. Why are you such an idiot?
"HEY! I am NOT an idiot!"
Sure, ok, let's go with that. Second question. If you eat so much ramen, how come you are never fat? Ramen is fattening, after all.
"I think it has something to do with the Kyuubi. His influence makes me have a high metabolism."
…K, moving on. Third question. How come you have not noticed Hinata?
"…what do you mean?"
…Never mind, you blatant ignoramus…anyway, Ken, I think its time to show Naruto.
"What? Show me what?"
Yourself.
A door opens in the Inner Sanctum as lightning crashes. There stood five different Narutos.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"
Ok, first Alternate Naruto, Female Naruto.
"FEMALE!?"
Yup.
Alt-"Hello there, me."
"Oh my god, you're a chick!"
Alt-"No shit, genius. You know, you're pretty cute. If you weren't me, I would probably sleep with you if I was drunk.
"WHAT?!"
O-k lets move on. Second alternate, High School Naruto.
Alt-"So this is me, eh? How's it going?"
"How old are you?"
Alt-"Sixteen. Why?"
"You're what I'll look like when I hit sixteen? Sweet!! Sakura-chan would definitely like me, then!"
Alt-"No she won't."
"Huh?"
Alt-"She'll think of you as a friend, and nothing more. Kind of sucks, she has a nice ass."
"OH MY GOD, I'M A PERV AT SIXTEEN!!"
Alrighty then, let's move on. Third alternate, Super Naruto.
Alt-"…"
"…Um…hi."
Alt-"…hello."
"Why are you wearing an ANBU mask?
Alt-"I joined ANBU at age 6."
"Holy shit! Really!?"
Alt-"Yes. I am also close to being Hokage, and I am also dating Sakura-chan."
"Wow! You're everything I ever wanted to be!"
Alt-"If you ever have the chance, don't join ANBU."
"Why?"
Alt-"Because it makes you emotionless, over time. Just don't do it.
"Ok, who have you beaten?"
Alt-"Throw out any name."
"Alright, Orochimaru."
Alt-"Beaten."
"Wow. Ok, Akatsuki."
Alt-"Beaten."
"Jeez, Sasuke?"
Alt-"Beaten easily."
Ok, that's enough bragging. Fourth alternate, Demon Naruto.
"Wait, D-demon?"
Yes. The Kyuubi either fuses with you, or you become possessed by Kyuubi.
"WHAT!?"
Alt-"Hello, me."
"My gods, I even sound like Kyuubi…"
Alt-"No shit, shit-head. I fucking absorbed him, you want to battle over it?"
"U-um n-n-no…"
Alt-"That's good. Stay in your place, weakling."
"Can we move on? He scares me."
Are you sure?
"Yes…"
Alright, Final alternate, GAY NARUTO.
Naruto takes one glance at gay Naruto and faints.
…Alright, thank god we didn't have to listen to that conversation. This is Primus, signing off.
Primus walks off as Paralyzer by Finger Eleven plays.
A/N: I know. Insane, right? BTW, I don't own Finger Eleven or their song Paralyzer. R/R!