Primus's Place
Primus's Place
Hello! Welcome to another Primus's Place!
Thunder Crashes
Dammit, Ken, enough with the ominous thunder…
Sorry.
S'alright. Anyway, our guest today is Sakura! Her appearance was recommended by freshman007. Oh, by the way, inspiration for this WHOLE DAMN THING is Loki God of Mischief. Thanx, dude!
"Hello? Over here!"
Oh, sorry for ignoring you. (Annoying attention whore…)
"What did you say?!"
Nothing that needs to be brought to your attention. Anyway, onto the questions! Question 1, does having a flat chest run in the females of your family?
"WHAT?!"
Question 2, why do you like Sasuke?
"Does it need to be said? He's cute and smart and strong. Anything else?"
Is that it? How shallow.
"Hey!!"
Question 3, do you really hate Naruto?
"Of course not! He just gets annoying…at times…"
You know, in many Naruto fanfictions, you slapped him after he didn't bring Sasuke back.
"What!? YOU RAT BASTARDS!! I would never destroy a friendship for a boy!"
…My god…something kind coming from your mouth!
"…Why do you hate me so much?"
Oh, nothing against you personally, I just hate fan girls.
"I am not a fan girl!"
Ok, what is Sasuke's favorite color?
"Duh, black!"
Ok, hey, Naruto, what is duck-ass-for-a-head's favorite color?
N-"…What? How the hell would I know?"
See?
"Hmph. Meanie!"
Nice comeback. Anyway, time to show you your alternates.
"What? My alternates? What are you talking about?
Five Sakura alternates walked into the room as Sakura stared at all of them in horror and confusion
Alternate number 1, Non useless Sakura.
"Hey, I'm not useless! Um why are you all muddy and sweaty?"
Alt-"I just got done with a mission! We had to take down a missing Nin, and I wasn't just sitting around and doing nothing coughlikeyoucough."
"…What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Alt-"What do you think it means, bitch?"
"YOU MOTHERFU"
Audience-"Pri-mus! Pri-mus! Pri-mus!"
O-K, that's it, I'm not hosting Jerry Springer here. Next alternate, Not-Flat-chested Sakura.
"I am not flat-chested!"
Sure, and Alexander the Great didn't defeat the entire Achaemenid Persian Empire.
"…What?"
Alt-"Hey."
"…Oh my god, those are the biggest breasts I've ever seen! Maybe even bigger than Tsunade-sensei's!"
Alt-"They are. She didn't believe me, we measured, and I won. It's as simple as that."
"My god…do you have back problems?"
"No…why?"
O-K, let's stop there, god, this whole show makes me feel awkward…Whatever, next alternate, Tomboy Sakura.
Alt-"Hey, how's it going?"
"What are you wearing?!"
Alt-"What? Clothes, what else?"
My god…it's a…ORANGE JUMPSUIT!!
"…"
Alt-"Hey, do you like ramen too?"
MY GOD, IT'S ANOTHER NARUTO!!
Alt-"Hey!"
N-"HEY!"
"Get it away!!"
Ok, next alternate, FAST. Super Sakura??
"Hello?"
Alt-"Hello. Look, can we hurry this up? I have an A rank mission in 30 minutes."
LOL WUT
"Wow, an A rank mission! What are those like?"
Alt-"Hell."
"O-Ok…um…are you alone?"
Alt-"Of course. Sasuke and Naruto died on a mission they couldn't handle."
O RLY
"WHAT?!"
Ok, can we stop this alternate interview? I'm starting to spout 4chan memes.
Alt-"Hey, the sooner it's over, the better, bud."
…I am not your "Bud". Anyway, the final Interview, (thank Jesus…), Inner Sakura Unleashed?? What the hell?
Alt-"CHAA!"
"…Hi?"
Alt-"God-DAMN! You have the hugest forehead I have ever seen!!"
"W-what?"
Alt-"You heard me, holy shit; they should rent out your head for advertizing, for fucks sake!"
"…sniff S-Shut up…"
Alt-"BAAAAAW!! You gonna cry, baby? Baby want her bottle?"
O-K, enough bullying, please?
Alt-"Fuck you!"
…I am NOT the person you want to mess with, bitch. I'm a pretty pacifistic person, but when the time comes to it, I will splatter you across the floor. They will need a mop to clean you up. Comprende?
Alt-"…"
Thought so. Anyway, a special thanks to freshman007 for recommending Sakura for this interview-
"Thanks a lot, jerk, you got me bullied!"
MY fault, I wrote this, remember? Anyway, tune in next time for another Primus's place! Also, give me recommendations for characters to appear on the show. Enchante.