Primus's Place
I know what you're thinking. 'They made another?!' YES. Many thanks to tiffany, Loki God of Mischief, and, again, freshman007 for asking me to tortu-I mean interview Sas-gay over here.
Sasuke gives Primus the best evil eye he can muster, to no effect
…Why are you staring at me? Are you really that gay?
Sasuke's anger increases exponentially
…K, moving on. Question 1, how do you get your hair like that? Do you sleep on it wrong?
Sasuke just tries his best to ignore Primus
…K, second question… (You better fucking speak for this next question, bitch.)
Sasuke, for some reason, seems to want to speak all of a sudden
Why do you think Itachi killed your clan?
"…because I saw him, genius…"
Oh, sure, you saw him. Are you sure it wasn't a henge?
"Who else could have used the Mangekyou?
coughMadaracough
"Who?"
'Jo mama.
"Tell me!"
Tell me!
"Shut up!"
Shut up!
"GOD DAMN IT!"
Hey, language, motherfucker. Third question, who was the founder of your clan?
"…Uchiha Madara, duh."
Now, did you ever hear about him after the Uchiha Massacre? Tries to get sense in Sasuke's head
"…No, he was dead at the time…"
Oh my god…I wish CHUCK NORRIS would come and roundhouse kicks some sense into you…
"…Who's Chuck Norris?"
gasp WHAT!? You don't know who CHUCK NORRIS is?!
"…No…"
CHUCK NORRIS is so badass, his beard has muscles.
"…why do you say his name like that?"
CHUCK NORRIS is so badass, he deserves it. His tears heal cancer, you know.
"…What's cancer?"
Oh…yeah…none of you have had cancer yet…try to tell Shikamaru to stop smoking…
"…What's cancer?"
You'll learn. Anyway, enough with the boring part, onto the alternates!
"…I'm so damn confused…"
Four alternates stand at the door
Sorry only four this time, folks. Gay Sasuke is our star, today.
"…I'm going to ignore you."
Please, do. First alternate, Non-Emo Sasuke? That's im-fucking-possible.
"…I hate you."
Alt-"Hey! How's it going?"
"…What's wrong with you? Are you on crack?"
Alt-"Of course not! You're just dreary!"
He's got you there.
"Shut it."
Your mom shut it.
"…what?"
Next alternate, more useless Sasuke. Again, IMPOSSIBLE.
"…"
Alt-"…"
"…Say something."
Alt-"What's the point? I'm so useless; I'll screw up mid sentence…"
Dear god, it is possible…
"Shut up."
Your mom sh-
"STOP TALKING!"
Dear god, this alternate is depressing…go slit your wrists, useless.
Alt-"Ok."
The alternate slits his wrists and dies of blood loss
…well, fuck. Can someone get rid of the body please?
Sure.
Thanks.
The body is incinerated by flame jets
I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like…victory.
"…What is wrong with you?"
Do you really want that info? This might take a minute.
"…just go on…"
Ok, alternate, cross dresser Sasuke! Now THAT is possible!
"…go to hell."
Already there.
Alt-"Dude, your clothes are awful. Haven't you ever heard of Capri's?"
"…"
Alt-"Also, you need lingerie."
"…We could borrow some from Primus."
Oh, you mean the ones I got from your dad?
"…yeah well…wait…son of a bitch…"
You people at home smell that? Bitch got served. (I love leetworld!)
Alt-"After the show, we are going shopping, mister."
"…switch the alternate…NOW."
For once, I agree. Final alternate, Girl Sasuke.
"…Switch them back…NOW."
One request per interview, bitch.
"Damn you."
Alt-"Hey."
"…"
Alt-"You know, you're very rude. I like that Naruto boy better."
"…"
Alt-"In fact, I think I'll talk to him later. He looks like a good lay."
"faints from shock"
Alt-"There he goes! Hey! Naruto-kun!"
N-"Eh?"
What the fuck just happened? Ugh, screw it. This is Primus, signing off.