Primus's Place
Welcome back to Primus's Place. Today, we have a certain teacher with us today…
"Sup."
Hello, Kakashi. I will be your tortu-cough I mean host today.
"…I don't like this already."
Oh, just wait. It gets worse…
"Seriously?"
Have you seen the past shows?
"No…"
Good. Then everything will be a surprise…
Thunder goes off in the background
DAMMIT, Ken! I told you about the thunder!
Sorry.
"…Ok, ask me any questions, I am an open book." Opens the certain book that certain females seem to hate.
Ok, question 1: Have you heard of CHUCK NORRIS?
"…Who?"
Boot to the head.
A boot comes from out of nowhere and hits Kakashi square in the side of the head.
thud "OW!"
Question 2: What kind of hair gel do you use? I'm asking because your hair defies all the laws of physics.
"I use super glue."
…Super glue?
"Yes."
…You gave some to Sasuke when you first met him, didn't you?
"…yes."
HA! I KNEW it!! Take that, queer!!
Sas-"Dammit, Kakashi, you said you would keep that a secret!"
"I lied."
Sas-"GRAGH!"
Question 3: How did you obtain the Mangekyo? You didn't kill anyone, didn't you?
"Pfft, no. It took professionalism."
…professionalism?
"Yes, professionalism."
I don't want to know. Anyway, do you want to see your alternates?
"No."
Good, ok, you can all come out now.
Five alternates come out of a doorway.
Ok, the first alternate is mask less Kakashi.
"…! NO!! YOU MUSTN'T SEE MY FACE!!"
Alt-"What the fu"
Kakashi tackles the alternate and pulls out an extra mask, trying to put it on him. The alternate kicks Kakashi off of him and runs away, Kakashi in hot pursuit.
…Jesus FISH, Kakashi's fast.
Kakashi comes back in panting.
"I got it on him. He was like an eel, but I got him."
Second alternate: Punctual…
Alt-"Hi."
What the…let me finish speaking! You're here early.
Alt-"You said to be here at 5:00 sharp. It's 5:00."
"…What's it like, being early?"
Alt-"Oh, it feels great! You can get a head start on things, and everything."
"You're weird."
Alt-"You're late."
"So was your mom last Thursday."
Alt-"Wait, what?"
Ok, getting freaky. Third alternate, girl Kakashi.
"What?"
Alt-"Hi."
The alt pulls out a certain book…
"Wait, you read Icha Icha? I thought women hated Icha Icha…"
Alt-"We hate the original version. This is the YAOI version."
lolwut
"EVIL!! Get it away!!"
Alt-"What? It's so cute!"
Ugh, this discussion has gotten worse than an Uwe Boll movie…lets move on to super pervert Kakashi…stay frosty, audience.
Alt-"Can we just talk already? I have women to spy on for Jiraiya-sama."
"Did you ever get the living shit beaten out of you?"
Alt-"Plenty o' times. I can remember this one time they really went to town on me. They tied me to a wooden pole and heated up iron poles and pushed them onto my nipples."
"And that's why I try to avoid looking into the women's bath houses, even though I live a block away from it."
Alt-"You lucky bastard! Kurenai pulled a restraining order on me after the 3rd time she caught me. It was the 9th time I ever spied on her, though."
Aw, on Kurenai? She's nice dude, you shouldn't do that.
Alt-"Yeah, nice, I know what you mean…hehehe…"
Dammit, you perv, next alternate, weak-ass bitch Kakashi.
Alt-"Don't call me that…"
What are you going to do about it? Annoy me to death?
Alt-"…"
"Just insult him."
Alt-"But he'll insult me back!"
"So?!"
Alt-"I can't take abuse!! WAH!!"
The alt runs off crying like a little bitch
Wow, that was almost too easy. It's almost as easy as making an emo slit his wrists.
"Wow, you're evil."
Danke. Speaking of which, Sasuke, come here, please.
Sas-"sigh what?"
MEET CHUCK NORRIS!!
Sas-"What the fu"
CHUCK NORRIS comes out of nowhere and roundhouse kicks the FAJEEZUS out of Sasuke, completely obliterating him from space and time.
Pwnd, n00b. Tune in next time for…someone. Actually, please review and recommend characters for me to savage. Bai bai. Again, R/R.