WARNING: THIS IS SLASH.

Disclaimer: I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

A/N: You critics are awesome! I know it's probably weird for me to be so happy about reviews that some might see as offending but I love them! So thank you to everyone who reviewed! It's just amazing that I even got one review really.

My writing style is very different and apparently very wordy, but the latter I've mostly fixed thanks to my wonderful beta! So give a round of applause to Mistyfire! She has also fixed my horrible idea that everything needs hads as well as a few other minor things. This story would not be readable without her help. Well, maybe somewhat readable if you reread every line, but that's besides the point. Thank you Misty!

Now one thing that some of you have seemed to have forgotten is the fact that Harry lost his ability to speak Parseltongue in DH. When Voldemort killed him more specifically. So it's canon that he can't speak it now.

Also, this story is to make people laugh while still being able to read something with a plot. I found that the only well written stories in the Twilight/Harry Potter fandom were angst and since I'm not a big fan of it myself, I decided to be original. Actually I was so mad at how little to no humor there was in this fandom that I wrote the Prologue in about an hour, not expecting any response like earlier said. Hell, I wasn't even planning on continuing it until I got nearly 40 reviews on the Prologue alone. But I hereby solemnly swear to carry this story through to the end! (Besides, if I didn't, I'm pretty sure my muse would kill me. And he's very creative.)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

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Definitely Not Disney
By Shadow Hunt

Chapter Two

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Tuesday had not been pleasant for Harry, but neither had Wednesday or Thursday. The later two days though hadn't consisted of Bella ignoring him while he tried to get his emotions together after the worrying dreams he had that night before. But all three days had consisted of Harry cursing his raging hormones for wanting the one person he had been watching like a hawk. Not watching in the way Bella had, but in the way he had watched the Slytherins throughout his years at Hogwarts. The way that watched every movement and every gesture, waiting for the moment when they did anything at all threatening so he could raise his wand and protect.

He had this disconcerting feeling though that his physical attraction to Edward was partly due to whatever creature he and his family were. Not all of it of course, because then he would be attracted to all the Cullens (and honestly the thought of the blonde Cullen Rosalie like that slightly off put him in the worst of ways), but he figured most of it was. Hoping that was also the reason behind Bella's own obsession, he had a long talk with her late Tuesday night after he had explained the dinner situation. That talk mostly consisted of her rambling on about Edward, boring Harry immensely, but it had proved that what she had felt was completely physical lust with a strong mixture of curiosity. Dastardly combination that was.

The talk had also informed him of her seating arrangement in her Biology class and how Edward had spoken to her some, but nothing more than a few words. He had decided that there was nothing that could be done to correct that (since apparently Edward had already tried) but had taken extra measures to catch a glimpse of her everyday as she left Biology to make sure she was still breathing. On Thursday he had a small panic attack when he hadn't seen her, only to realize she had stayed in the classroom a few extra minutes to ask the teacher a few things. He had walked her to her next class just to calm himself down.

Wednesday evening had passed and with it two owls carrying two letters when he was alone. The first letter had been from Neville explaining to him a bit further in depth about the multiple language spells he had to use everyday just to get by. It also touched upon how Luna had sent him a wire bracelet with rice and strands of wheat intertwined to ward off another of Luna's mysterious creatures for their two-month dating anniversary. Harry had a good laugh when Neville had then said one of his new friends had mistaken it for litter and had thrown it out.

The second letter had been from Hermione in response to one he had sent her Tuesday. Here is what it had said:

Harry,

What is with your sudden interest in magical creatures? Did you come across some over there in America, because if you did I think you should inform the Headmistress right away. It might not be safe for you to continue staying there, and I'm sure you know that your safety is of a higher concern than the completion of your Muggle Studies project. How is that coming along by the way?

George recently signed a contract with a French joke shop thanks to your little hint to the media that he was looking to further expand his business. He would have told you himself I'm sure, but he's still trying to get used to inventing without Fred. I've tried to help him where I can, but it's just not the same. My creativity is apparently not up to par.

Ron was in another one of his moods last night, but I think you were the cause this time. He locked himself in the boy's dorm and it took me thirty minutes to get in there this time. Can you believe he's been studying warding spells to keep his own girlfriend out? All the same, you should probably owl him in the next week or so, just to let him know that you miss him just as much as he misses you.

On a happier note, Rita Seeker was fired from the Daily Prophet on Monday due to one of her stories blatantly disregarding the Goblin Secrecy Act of 1147 and reminding the public that the vaults 34,390 through 34,849 are proected by dark goblin magic. She should have known the outrage the public would be in over the dark magic! Just last week they broke a boys wand because he enchanted some bowls to make any food in it cut off the eater's tongue and then reattach it later- and that was only on the verge of dark! Some people, I swear.

The Gryffindors send their regards.

With Love,
Hermione

P.S. The next sheet contains a detailed list of all the creatures that fit your description. The ones underlined are known to inhabit America. Tell the Headmistress Harry!

The list that Hermione had included had been more than enough food for his thoughts. There had been several on the list that he instantly crossed out such as the uni-souled and the Naga Descendants. One had unicorn blood and therefore wouldn't even be able to think murderous thoughts let alone enact them and the other would have scaly skin that not even magic could hide. Satyr was also another one he had crossed out due to their playfulness. Though he had mused about it for some time because of Alice.

What had been left on the list were Veelas, Dragon Hominids, Shape Shifters, Elves, Chakoyas, Vampires, Elemental Sapiens, and Spriggan. Chakoyas was still rather debatable due to their need for the cold, but the half-bloods could go without it as long as there was no sun. In fact, the more he thought about it, the higher it got on the list. He had heard somewhere that the Cullens always went hiking when the sun was out, but if they loved nice weather as much as they said they did, it would be smarter for them to move somewhere where it always had nice weather. Spriggan was crossed out with that thought since they were wood folk and loved the sun.

Though Dragon Hominids, Vampires, and some lesser Hydro Sapiens all had reasons to stay away from the sun too. Dragon Hominids and Vampires both had skin that would glow or sparkle when sunlight hit it, while Hydro Sapiens always felt like they were being evaporated in the sun's heat. He had heard once that a sun dried Hydro Sapien was the inspiration behind the "I'm melting! I'm meeelting!" scene in the Wizard of Oz.

But none of this he had written in the letter back to Hermione or the one to Ron. And he most certainly refused to write the Headmistress. Hermione was sure to get suspicious, and she had, about how he cleverly had tried to avoid her but he knew she wouldn't say anything to anybody until she was completely sure. Or until she was too gone with worry to think straight, but he had hoped that wouldn't happen for at least another month or never, that was better. Unfortunately he hadn't had luck on his side and she had broken much sooner than he had expected.

"Harry are you listening? Harry!"

It was now Friday in Harry's last period class, English, with a muggle named Taylor Blake Jackson (nickname TB and J) trying to get Harry's mind back on him. Taylor was a talkative muggle that faintly reminded Harry of Colin Creevey. He rarely noticed when somebody lost interest in the conversation, but when he did, he annoyed you until your interest came back. And Harry's interest was unwillingly taken hostage by Taylor yet again, so with a sigh he said, "Yes, sorry. I was thinking."

Taylor grinned. "About Edward right? He's been mighty persistent on talking with you. I'm surprised you've been able to avoid him this long! Wait, you never did tell why you didn't like him or even why he came out of his shell to try to talk to you. What did you do? Kill his imaginary friend? Spill it Harry."

"Oh yes Harry, do spill," Came a knowing voice from behind him. Harry didn't have to even look to know it was Alice, probably wearing that grin that never seemed to leave her. He decided to ignore her.

Harry watched as Taylor took in the fact that Alice was also 'coming out of her shell' to Harry. He wished desperately that she and the rest of her wack job of a family would go back into that shell, have someone duct tape the outside of it (he was more than willing) and never come back out. That never happened though. "Oh no, I wasn't thinking about Edward. I know exactly how I plan on getting him out of my hair and I know when I'm going to do it." That was for Alice and Jasper's benefit. "So why should I waste more time thinking about that when I could be thinking of how huge the teacher's butt looks in those pants." And that was to change the topic.

Taylor took the bait and laughed as he stole a peek at their teacher beneath his curly fringe. "I know right! That thing is like wow! Sham Wow! Have you tried one of those Sham Wows? Those towels get up any spill, big or small! It's amazing!" Harry didn't him that the creator of the Sham Wows was a famous wizard inventor. "My mom bought a normal towel after using one of those super shammys and she couldn't handle how little it soaked up! That reminds me! My mom is going to grandma's tomorrow so I'm throwing a party. You're coming."

Harry raised an eyebrow at this. "I am?" After all the parties he had been to after the fall of the Dark Lord, he hadn't felt like going to another one. Especially not a muggle one where he could slip some accidental magic if he wasn't careful. There had been many reports of such throughout history, the biggest one being a Canadian who made everyone in a five mile radius think they lived in Jamaica, not Canada. Meaning after that, the amount of deaths by frostbite had shot up tremendously. So had the amount of people to sign up for drum lessons strangely enough.

"You are!" Taylor said with cheer. "Just don't tell Bella though. I don't want her taking Mike." He scrunched up his nose at Mike's name as if he was a disease. "I don't like him, not one bit."

Another boy turned in his seat at that to give Taylor an exasperated look. "Just because he stole your dear Jessica away from you as a freshman you've been at his throat. Give it a break man. It's been two years."

After that the two boys bickered for the rest of the period, up until the bell rang and they stalked out of the classroom in anger. Before Harry could follow after Taylor though, his arm was grabbed and he was spun around. His wand was in his hand and hidden by his jacket's long sleeve before he even saw it was Alice who had grabbed him. Thank Merlin Mrs. Weasley had been hopping on a growth spurt that had yet to come or else he would have been exposed as a wizard. Not good, but that didn't mean he was going to loosen his grip on the tip of his wand.

"You have a date with destiny Harry, and it isn't at the bookstore." Alice quietly mumbled close enough to him so no one else still in the classroom could hear her. Jasper was leaning against the table next to them, looking casual enough but Harry knew he was ready to attack if need be. But as soon as his threat's locations were in mind, he zoned in on her words. 'How the fuck did she know I was planning on going to the bookstore to avoid this date? How the bloody fuck?' None of the four creatures he suspected her and her family to be had the gift of sight, but she seemed to have it if his suspicions were correct.

He didn't get an answer though because she tightened her grip on his arm and began dragging him towards the door. Jasper was right behind him to make sure he didn't run, he suspected. There, under the threshold, she stopped and looked at him. "Her smell is the cause." Then without another word she and Jasper him left there in mild shock. It wasn't until a girl behind him asked if she could get out of the classroom did he make his way to Bella's truck.

Later that night Harry found himself on the couch next to Charlie, watching the telly go on about the wild dog killings in the area on the news. Charlie had explained them in more detail, saying that tomorrow he was going to be patrolling the town for them. Harry offered to help so he would have an excuse to get out of Taylor's party, but the man had looked at him with a wry smile and said, "You're good kid, Harry, but the thing is, you don't act like a kid. And you should. You seem to have grown up too fast." Harry tried to swallow back his emotions at Charlie's words, but he couldn't help but feel sorrow at that truth. "So I'm punishing you for it!" Harry's eyes instantly snapped back to Charlie in confusion. "You're punishment is to go to that Jackson boy's party tomorrow, you hear me?"

"Sir?" Harry questioned in a slight daze. Charlie must have lost his marbles, because that wasn't a punishment at all. He was about to tell the man that he would help him find those marbles when he took in the aged man's happy grin. From the frown wrinkles on the policeman's face, he guessed he hadn't grinned that much for a long while before Harry and Bella showed up. Harry didn't want to be the one to put that smile upside down again. "But the legal drinking age is twenty-one here Charlie. I'm eighteen."

Charlie's grin widened at that. "Yes but you're legal over in you're home country, so I'm saying your legal to do it here- but only for tomorrow. And don't worry 'bout getting caught, I'm on patrol remember?" Harry nodded mutely, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Good. Now Alice called to tell me you and Edward are going to hang out in about an hour, but was afraid you'd skip out on him. Very sweet girl."

"She called?" Harry asked in disbelief. That girl would have been Slytherin for sure with all this meddling she was doing!

Charlie nodded. "Sure did. Asked me to make sure you went. So as another punishment, I'm kicking you out of the house at seven on the dot, and I don't care if you're butt naked." He paused. "Actually I do, so I'll throw ya a blanket if you are, but that's as nice as I get."

Harry's mouth was open from shock. "But- you- what? I'm sorry but- I- uh- they-"

"They are very kind, yes, I know. Now shoo!" He made shooing motions before noticing that Harry didn't budge. So he pushed the wizard off the couch with another grin. Harry yelped in surprise. "Off with you boy, you're still in your school clothes." Harry continued to look at Charlie with wide eyes from his perch on the floor, mouth catching flies. "I don't have anything on my face do I? You're worryin' me Harry."

Harry quickly shook his head and stood up, stumbling slightly. "No sir, I'm just surprised you care so much about this." And he was. Never before had an adult cared about making sure he acted like a kid, in fact, they had made sure that he hadn't. But he couldn't truly blame any of them since they needed a hero and a savior to bring them out from Voldemort's shadow. No kid could have done that.

The look Charlie gave him as he walked up the stairs seemed to be on the sadder side, but Harry had been too much in a daze to scowl at it. His daze had carried him over for the next hour as he took a shower, changed into fancy-casual style cloths, and did several other activities to make himself look as good as he was going to get, which was actually very good. Bella even said so when he walked into her room to explain where he was going.

"Hey, maybe you can put in a good word for me." Bella asked hopefully when Harry was about to go downstairs. He turned to face her, showing her his disapproval with his eyes and posture. She gulped but continued on. "Harry you know I like him a lot. Please?"

Taking her hand and leading her back over to her bed, he sat them both down and then promptly dropped her hand so she didn't think anything more of it. No one said he hadn't been vaguely worried that her obsession might move on to him after Edward. It hadn't luckily. He turned to look at her, trying to decide which lie to sprout first, but then finally settled on the most dramatic one. "Bella, he's alright for a friend, but there's a reason his family won't let him date."

Bella's eyes widened enormously at that, her face going deathly pale. "His family is the reason why he doesn't date?"

"You make it seem like it's their fault. They just don't want him hurting another girl." Harry lied; peeking at the clock swiftly to note it was eight minutes till seven. He had to hurry this. "They moved here because he knocked a few good ones to his ex-girlfriend, sending her to the hospital. They didn't want it to happen to you so they met me at the diner to try and get me to persuade you to stop fancying him."

"Wait… wait!" Bella muttered frantically, grabbing his wrists in her petite hands. "They know I like him?"

Harry wanted to knock a few goods ones to her for asking that. The one thing she had picked up on in that conversation was that the Cullens knew she fancied Edward. He couldn't believe her! "Yes but he beat up his last girlfriend! Think for a minute!"

She blinked a few times. "Well what'd she do?"

Enough was enough, and Harry stood up and yanked his wrists out of her hands. "Does it matter?" he spit out bitterly and stalked out of the room to walk downstairs to wait for Edward to come. He didn't have to brood long, for immediately when the grandfather clock struck seven, the doorbell rang too. Harry glared at the door but didn't go open it, which Charlie muttered about before he pulled open the door to reveal a nicely dressed Edward standing there with his hands in his pockets. The creature was utterly failing to look casual.

"Edward! Nice to see you again!" Charlie exclaimed. "Come in, come in!" He ushered the creature inside, making Harry squirm with the want to draw his wand on the teen. There just had to be a rule about willingly letting the enemy enter your home without a peace treaty or at least a few spells or runes in place to protect them. He paused with that thought, making a note to get Hermione to send over a runes book so he could put up at least a few of the basic ones. Little did he know that the Headmistress had already set up several wards around the house upon learning that Charlie had moved. (She hadn't been a happy camper when she realized she had to do all the wards again.)

Harry scanned over Edward for weapons, but only noticed that Edward's posture had stiffened upon entering the house, most likely due to either his and Bella's smell or the strong scent of paint still in the air. Guessing it was the foremost, he sighed. But he couldn't help but wonder if the paint at least bothered Edward- He hoped it did.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked awkwardly and Harry nodded back, saying a quick good-bye to Charlie before pushing the creature out the door. The other looked worried as he and Harry walked to the silver Volvo parked in the driveway, but Harry didn't know if it was because of Harry's obvious anger or if he was wondering if his plans to kill Harry would work. Honestly, Harry didn't care at that moment.

Once they were both seated in the car, Edward twisted to stare at Harry. Harry glared back. "You don't have to come you know, but I would like you to. I want to show you that my intentions aren't to kill you like you seem to think." Again Harry couldn't help but be shocked into silence, unsure how Edward had figured out that he was onto him. He supposed he was being a bit flagrant about it. "The door isn't locked."

Shaking his head, Harry sighed. "Not the car door, but the house door is." Pointing to the door he meant to make further make his point. "Seems like Alice and Charlie are becoming fast friends."

Edward chuckled, startling Harry so bad his neck hurt at the speed in which it had turned to watch the creature laugh. It was odd to see the smile play on his crimson lips, but Harry found himself liking it. "Yes, she did tell me that she had made sure that you would be out of the house at the very least. I didn't think she actually talked to Charlie though." He put the car in gear and back out of the driveway swiftly, driving down the road and turning left at the empty corner house with the big 'For Sale' sign falling partly into the car's way. Edward easily curved away from it.

A drive that usually would have taken an hour was only thirty-one minutes and twenty-eight seconds (Harry had counted each and every second due to thinking that each one would be his last. It was too fast considering a potential murderer was behind the wheel). But where was their destination you ask? Why of course to the downtown Mexican restaurant, the only restaurant with cars out front costing more than a few trips to the junkyard.

"I figured we would eat first before going to the movies." Edward said as he got out of the car, quickly making his way over to passenger side of the car to further open Harry's door. Harry glared at that, but said nothing. "And before you get in your head otherwise, I'm paying." With that he had taken hold of Harry's elbow and steered him into the restaurant. Young Harry Potter's protests at that went unheard.

Inside a young hostess blushed and smiled and, unintentionally, became the first thing Harry laughed about at the dinner table. The poor girl had been so confused on which of the two of them she had liked more. The two teens had taken advantage of that and played a small game with her for the rest of the evening, consisting on subtle flirting and blatant motions that sent the hostess into a fluster of emotions. While Harry admitted that his effort had been fruitful, he had to give the title of 'Superior of Stupid but Somehow Suspiciously Fun Flirtations' (which they had argued over for some time) to Edward. The creature just had a natural knack for making girls melt into little balls of silly putty. Instantly that had been added to the list of abilities that seemed to come with whatever creature Edward and his family were.

On the subject of that, Harry had marked off Chakoyas from the list, leaving Dragon Hominids, Vampires, and Hydro Sapiens left. This restaurant was like a steam room due to the kitchen's door open and the fan above them broken and slightly loose, meaning any Chakoya would have turned a light shade of blue as their body tried to counteract the room's temperature. Edward was still the same pale of before, if not a bit paler in the colorful lights sprouted in an organized random around the room.

"So Harry," Edward began after a small nibble on his rare steak, which Harry could tell he hadn't been enjoying. Another fact that had gone on the list. "I'm surprised you're actually having a good time with me."

And that's where it all started to crumble.

Harry had of course noticed that neither of them had spilled any blood across the restaurant (namely Harry's), but he had completely overlooked the fact that he had been actually, dare he say it, enjoying the company of the murderer. But that was the problem of course, Edward being a murderer and all. Even if the teen had stated earlier that he had no intentions of killing Harry, that still left Bella open for slicing and dicing. How could he be sure that the other Cullens weren't already at his new muggle home, taking advantage of Harry's absence and raping and torturing Bella? Even if he thought the girl needed a few lessons in the love department that did not mean that he didn't care if she got killed because he was on a date with her fancy. He blinked at that. Saying it like that made this whole situation a whole lot more awkward in Harry's mind.

Date was the only word that could really describe it, but Harry had been fool enough to dismiss that thought, trying to find another way to explain this little dinner and a movie thing he had been at with Edward. A scouting mission he finally had concluded after a few moments, nodding his head. He had narrowed Edward's creature class down some as well as added a few more facts about Edward in his imaginary journal after all, so all things considering, this had been a very productive mission. No way, no how, was the mission in fact a date with the enemy.

Right. And Mrs. Beckley wasn't a conniving bitch, Fred was still alive, Ginny was a sweet and ickle angel that had never started making a love potion for him, and Edward wasn't looking at him with drowning pools of topaz for eyes. Did he forget to mention that pigs were flying?

"I'm," Harry paused to cough, giving him more time to think of some excuse. "I'm just enjoying my last moments on Earth."

Edward frowned at him, leaning back and crossing his arms. Harry felt slightly bad for the lie, but the enemy wasn't supposed to know about scouting missions. So he rethought his feelings, and justified the lie. You lied to the enemy, simple as that. "I told you earlier that I don't want to kill you Harry." Edward said in a monotone which Harry knew he used when he got annoyed.

Harry gave him a look. "Just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you don't have to. Trust me, I of all people would know that."

He received a look from Edward in which Harry saw the sorrow and that little ounce of pity that he, even to this day, hates. "Harry I'm not part of some organization out to murder you or Bella. I'm not being ordered to by any higher… creature. Nor am I being blackmailed into killing you." Ok, so Harry only heard truth in those words. Maybe Edward was just a really good liar, that's all. "What it comes down to is that I only want to be your friend."

Not knowing what to say to that, Harry turned his head to look out the window, watching as two young boys kicked a ball back and forth, their mothers talking in front of the barbershop a few feet away. It was warming for Harry to see a world not ravaged by war, but as he looked back at Edward, he couldn't help but see a contradiction to the scene outside the window. The creature was at war with himself, something inside him trying to escape. Something that wanted to kill. But Edward was fighting it, those eyes told Harry. Edward's eyes, Harry mused, were the center of everything that attached him to Edward. They were like a book constantly changing pages, sometimes stopping on one page but closing completely on another, only to reopen again when sunshine was again read within those words. The thing was, that sunshine was so far pushed back in that book that it reminded him of his own face directly after the war. That scared him slightly, but he promised himself he would at least try a little bit to bring that sunshine forward. Those eyes needed to shine.

Edward's eyes, to say the least, had been the army that destroyed Harry's defenses. Made him vulnerable and weak, but never once had attacked him. Those eyes had been in every way the fishing rod that caught Harry in that state and reeled him it.

But that has yet to come in the story of Harry's life. Now was another moment of clarity, one as equally important, if not greater. For this was the moment that Harry James Potter (Harry Orion Evans to the people of Forks) realized only part of Edward wanted to kill him.

Not very reassuring, but hey, it was better than nothing at this point.

"Edward." Harry spoke, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands. "Tell me why you want to be my friend so bad. As far as I know, you and your family never made any effort before to befriend us humans. Why am I so different?"

The creature chuckled softly, startling Harry again. This laughing thing Edward had going seemed too normal for him. "Everything about you is different. Your eyes, your hair, your smell. But then there is this mystery about you I can't figure out. You-" Edward paused to lick his lips. "I have trouble hearing you. Some things are clear, and then others I just can't hear at all. Your secrets know how to hide, and I don't like it." Harry stared blankly at the other, wondering if he had lost his marbles too. It would be just his luck really. "It's not like Bella, who I just can't hear at all. But she has nothing to hide. Nothing special." Edward leaned forward across the table, his face dangerously close, again too close for Harry too breathe. But he couldn't back down. "You're special Harry."

Harry had leaned forward too at this, his nose ghosting Edward's. "Edward." He breathed out, his breath filling Edward's sense of smell in a way Harry knew had to be torturous. He had onions in meal after all. "If I had a Knut for every time I heard that I would need to buy another vault." Edward had been obviously confused at his choice of words, and Harry vaguely wondered if he had just blown his cover. Only wizards and goblins used Knuts and he was most certainly not a goblin. "I've never been normal. I can't be normal. I'm not allowed. For once, I would like to try being normal." He paused to watch Edward's Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped. "I hope that isn't impossible."

Edward's eyes closed and then reopened to show Harry their depths. They took Harry's breath away every time. "With me, it would be."

Backing up, Harry nodded. "And that's why I can't be friends with you. This is my only chance at being normal, because as soon as I go back to my real school, I'll be put back up on my pedestal. I hate that pedestal."

He was met with silence as Edward sat up straight too, both of them musing on the other's words for sometime before Edward decided to speak again. "Normal is overrated, I think." Harry wanted to ask what he knew about being normal, but had quickly reminded himself that if he were a vampire, he would have been normal before being turned. So he couldn't say anything, because he wasn't sure if he was or not. "Come on, we're both done with our meal. Time to take you home."

"Wait, what about the movie?" Harry asked as he had stood up with Edward, dropping the tip before the creature could as much as think about paying for that as well. This was much to the other's annoyance but Harry only shrugged in response.

Edward stared at him a moment before responding. "You're not ready to see Blade."

"It's a movie, I think I can handle it." Harry muttered, crossing his arms.

He didn't get a response from Edward though, for the teen had already started walking towards the front door. With a huff and a cheery good-bye from the hostess, he followed him out to the Volvo. Edward opened his door for him, and Harry glared back. So without a further ado, Harry walked over to the driver's side of the vehicle, hopped in and slid over to the passenger seat. All the while Edward starred in disbelief, closing the door after a few seconds to make his way over to the drivers seat.

The only thing said the whole ride back to Harry's house was a mumbled "You're crazy" from Edward in the first ten minutes, and a replied "Crazy's part of special" from Harry, which had earned him a sharp glare. Harry hadn't minded though, and in fact had grinned back.

When they reached Charlie's house, Edward didn't walk him to the door like a proper date would, but only because Harry had reached over to put Edward's seatbelt on and then exited. It was a clear sign to not follow, Harry thought as he walked inside. In the living room was Charlie asleep on the couch with a tennis match left on the telly and Bella on the Lazyboy reading a black covered book. She looked up at him, then the clock, and scowled before she went back to her book. He wondered whose stick was up her arse before he found himself in his new room writing a reply to Luna and Draco, both of whom had sent him letters in the three hours he had been gone.

Then he froze, turning back to the clock, shocked to see that it really had been three hours. The only thought after that. was about whether that could actually be called a date, because a scouting mission did not end with him smiling at how long he had been gone on said scouting mission. In fact, it should end with him jotting everything he had learned down, so that's what he did just to prove to himself it wasn't a date.

Possible Edward Creature Traits (PECT):

Can't go out into the sun without consequences.
Doesn't like or can't have a vast amount of people food.
Impossibly strong.
Incredibly handsome.
Physical attraction inevitable.
Very fast.
Pale.
Proper mannerisms.
Heightened sense of smell.
Might have better hearing.

Note: Part of Edward seems to want to kill Bella and I, probably the creature part of him. Might be half-blood considering this but I'll need to inquire about his mother and father to be sure of that. Set up a reason to go to the hospital, that's where his father works.
Note: Those bloody eyes of his are too stunning to be normal. Could be a trait considering his siblings have similar eyes.
Note: His sister Alice might be a seer. Could the other Cullens have powers similar to hers?

Harry sat up and looked at the parchment, nodding to himself silently. He folded the letter and placed it on top of his ones to Draco and Luna, and was about to stand up when suddenly his snake pounced onto the desk as it chased after a bug, scattering his NEWT practice tests and his letters every where. He shouted a curse at his snake, sliding to his bed where his snake had gone under in its hurry to get to its prey. Bending down he peeked under the bed but flung himself back when his snake bounced towards him. Another curse left his mouth as Draco's owl hooted from the window, which caused the bug to leap towards it and burry into it's dark feathers. Amkemil (the name he had given his snake the night before upon learning it was a male) was in his grasp before it could lunge itself at the owl. Without another word he threw his snake into its cage and magically locked it.

"You stupid thing!" Muttered Harry as he quickly grabbed his letter to Draco and handed it to the bird to take. It took it with another hoot and took off to Hogwarts. Harry hoped the bug that caused his snake to clutter his room fell and died as he picked up his papers.

Only when he came across a letter marked to Draco did he realize his mistake.

He had just sent the PECT list to his old rival.

"You bloody fucking snake!" Harry yelled at a hissing Amkemil as he leaned against the wall, his breathing erratic. Now Draco would know that an unknown creature wanted to kill him in a muggle town with no other magical humans or creatures to help him for miles. "Perfect! Just perfect!"

Harry mutely wondered if Draco had given him that familiar just to ruin his life from across the Alantic.

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Notes-

1) Any creature name that was not mentioned in canon Harry Potter, besides the Spriggan which come from a video came and the Satyr which are a myth, were created by me. If you want to use them yourself please ask. I will most likely say yes. Please do not steal them or I will show my inner bitch and flame your story(s) to no end, and I personally don't care if you flame me back. Just looks like I got more reviews anyways.
2) Amkemil literally means Beloved Rival in Latin. There were several other options darkowand and I came up with but the name just sort of fits that little snake, don't you think?

So many plot twists start in this chapter, but I doubt many of you, if any, will catch the major one that has started. Draco is only part of a bigger picture my dear friends, and when you read what that picture is I swear on Merlin's grave you'll go into shock (hopefully only after you review though, because I rather like all the responses I'm getting). I hope you liked the Harry/Edward interaction, because I'm trying to give you a little action while still taking it slow. I can just imagine every time they see or touch there's friction and sparks! So I'm trying to show that in my funny, oddball way of writing. Hope it worked!

I bet you're all going nuts about Draco too. Oh the fun to be had!

Please review!