Lexie sits alone in the cafeteria hoping that someone she knows well will come in. She hates eating in the cafeteria alone and is even more embarrassed by the reason which is that she thinks everyone will think she has no friends. She doesn't know why in her twenties she still can't shake the insecurities of childhood, and she silently berates herself for not being more confident and self assured.
Meredith runs in and grabs a cup of coffee, looking over her shoulder briefly. Lexie catches her eye and says brightly, "Hi Meredith! Ummm…do you want to sit down? Have some breakfast? Or is it lunch? You know how intern year is. I don't even remember what meal I'm eating," she says, laughing nervously.
"Thanks anyway. I'm just grabbing a cup of coffee," Meredith says as she hurries off.
Lexie sighs. Rejected again…she thinks. Who can blame Meredith. I ramble like a moron when she speaks to me. I wouldn't want anything to do with me either…
Sadie enters and sits next to Lexie, interrupting her silent tirade against herself. "Hi, Lex! How are you?" she says, brightly.
Lexie wonders how pure Sadie's motives are. Still, she can't help but shake the feeling that it is nice to have a friend…an ally in this competitive program, and so she accepts Sadie's friendship at face value and even convinces herself that Sadie truly believes what she wrote in the letter to the chief to be fact as opposed to an tremendous exaggeration.
"I'm okay. Did you study last night? Dr. Stevens said we are expected to know all the material she gave us to catch up on by the end of this week. I already feel like she sort of hates me and I don't want to give her any reason to hate me anymore. I'm just so…"
"No…I didn't study last night, and I probably won't tonight either. I'm smart, Lexie. Not smart like you, but smart like, I'll get through this program my way. I may not have many friends in the end, but everyone will know that I'm smart and capable and I do things my way," Sadie says.
Lexie looks at her strangely. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Anything in the world," Sadie says, as carefree as imaginable.
"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but it this real?" Lexie asks.
"What do you mean?" Sadie asks.
"Well, you seem really confident…almost to the point of arrogance. I mean, I don't mean it in a bad way…It's not a bad thing. It's probably a good thing, except it makes me really insecure sometimes, because you just don't seem to care what anyone thinks and I care what everyone thinks, and…well…that's not the point. Sorry…I'm rambling. I know. But then that day, with Christina…with that patient…I mean…you seemed like a different person. Is this person real, or is that the real Sadie?" Lexie asks.
Sadie looks away for a moment and Lexie thinks she sees a flicker or nervousness cross Sadie's eyes, but then Sadie's cool confidence returns. "This is me, Lexie. That was a really bad day. I had a terrible morning. I got a really upsetting phone call, and well…you know how that can just throw you off…" Sadie says, looking slightly embarrassed.
Lexie smiles collegially. She feels bad for embarrassing Sadie, so she tries to make her feel better. "Old boyfriend?" she asks, with a smile.
"Something like that…" Sadie says, with a faraway look. Then she snaps back to the conversation. "Anyway…that day is in the past for me. I mean, no one is defined by one moment. You know what I mean? Anyway…let me ask you a question…" Sadie says.
"Sure," Lexie says.
"In between all of your studying, did you get a chance to start reading the history of your long lost sister?" Sadie asks.
Lexie shifts uncomfortably. This whole topic makes her uncomfortable when Sadie brings it up. She gets nervous and stammers. "No. Not yet. You know…all that studying…and I feel like Dr. Stevens hates me…and…"
"Why do you think Dr. Stevens hates you?" Sadie asks. "And more importantly, why do you care?"
Lexie thinks for a moment. Obviously, she can't tell Sadie about her conversation with Izzie in the supply closet, so she settles for, "Because she's Meredith's friend. All of Meredith's friends hate me…of course not as much as Meredith does," Lexie says.
Sadie stares at Lexie in a way that makes her squirm. "You know what…I think you and I have something in common. We both care very deeply about Meredith," Sadie explains.
"Yeah…the only difference is that she likes you and hates me. I don't even know why. I mean I thought we were past all the 'daddy chose you' stuff. " Lexie looks at her watch. "Oh no! We're late! Izzie's going to kill us!"
(Break)
Meredith sits in the cafeteria waiting for Derek. She is tired and has not had a good night's sleep in two days. It's been two days since she and Cristina have spoken. Two very long days in which Meredith has halfway dialed her phone number eight times, and has hidden in 4 different supply closets to avoid seeing her.
Derek kisses Meredith hello and sits down. "How's the day going?" he asks.
"She hasn't even said a word to me. I mean why would she have said that? There was no reason to bring up my mother. She knows Ellis Gray is off limits. Why would she purposely try to hurt me like that? I never hurt anyone on purpose. Why would she…" Meredith's voice trails off as Derek smiles, amused.
"So, why don't we talk about Cristina for a change?" he jokes. Then he adds, "And sometimes you do hurt people purposely."
"I do not! When have I ever hurt anyone on purpose?" Meredith asks.
"You hurt Little Grey every day. Mark was in the cafeteria today and said you shot her down when she asked you to sit with her. Couldn't you have just given her five minutes?" Derek asks.
"I thought you told Sloan to keep his eyes off Lexie. And I don't hurt her on purpose. I can't help it. She's family. Family is toxic. It's the residual dark and twisty," Meredith explains.
"I think I'm going to kiss you right now so you stop talking," she says.
"Do you think Cristina is trying to avoid me, or do you think it's coincidence that I haven't seen her all day?" Meredith says.
"I think it may have to do with the fact that you've spent a lot of your day in supply closets," Derek points out.
Meredith's pager goes off. "I have to run. It's Bailey. I think my patient is prepping for surgery. I'll see you at home," she says, kissing him.
"Do you want me to see if the hospital has an underground tunnel system that you can use to get to the O.R?" he asks.
Meredith smiles over her shoulder at him as she heads into surgery.
(Break)
Cristina steps into the elevator and pushes the button. She checks her cell phone one last time to see if Meredith has called her. The last two days have been long. She thinks of all the things that she wants to tell Meredith. She wants to tell her about her strange, yet somewhat flirtatious conversations with Owen Hunt. She thinks about telling her that she learned a new technique to transplant aortic valves. She wants to tell her that yesterday, Lexie tripped while going up the stairs and all of the interns laughed. But her pride stops her from making the first move, so instead, she stares straight ahead at the numbers that light up as the elevator climbs up the floors.
When she gets out of the elevator, she bumps into Owen.
"Watch where you're going!" Dr. Hunt says.
"Why don't you watch where you're going!" Cristina fires back.
Dr. Hunt grabs her and pulls her around the corner, kisses her, let's go of her and then walks away.
Cristina stands, frozen in the same spot. Her first thought is, I really need to talk to Meredith.
(Break)
"What did everyone think of volume 6?" Sadie asks.
"I thought it sucked. All it talks about is how much of a disappointment her daughter is. I mean, who cares?" one intern says, rolling his eyes.
"It sounds like she was one step up from 'Mommy Dearest!'" another one points out.
"No way! Ellis Gray is a legend. I bet she was an awesome mother and it was Meredith Gray who was the problem. I mean, can you imagine being lucky enough to have Ellis Gray as a mother? She's a surgical goddess!" another one adds.
Izzie walks into the morgue and sees the group of interns sitting there with binders on their lap.
"Good. Everyone is studying…finally! Sadie. You're late…you know…for rounds?" Izzie says, sarcastically.
Sadie's cell phone rings. "Sorry Iz. It's important. I'll catch up with you at rounds!" Sadie says, carelessly.
All the interns stare at Sadie in disbelief as she steps outside.
"Sadie. You missed your appointment…again. You know the conditions of…"
"Dr. Wyatt. I'm so sorry. You know how intern year is. It's been really busy. I've been studying so much and I…" Sadie begins to explain before being cut off.
"I'm concerned, Sadie. We both know that when under stress, you are prone to…" Dr. Wyatt says.
"I promise. I'm fine. I've reconnected with Meredith and I've made friends here. I even have my eye on a couple of good looking doctors. Don't worry. I promise. I'll be at our appointment next week. I'm putting it in my blackberry right now. I won't forget again," she says.
"Good. Because when I write my reports for the…" Dr. Wyatt begins.
"I get it, Dr. Wyatt. I'm so sorry. It won't happen again," Sadie says, before hanging up.
(Break)
Izzie sees Cristina sitting on a bench outside the hospital. She sits down next to her and sighs, angrily.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did throw a scalpel at her!" Izzie says.
"I didn't," Cristina replies.
"I mean, seriously! Who does she think she is? She just comes and goes as she pleases. She took a phone call when she was 20 minutes late for rounds. Do you know what she said when I told her she was late? She said, Sorry Iz! It's important! I'll catch up with you at rounds!" Izzie says, mimicking Sadie's slight British accent.
"Has Meredith said anything to you?" Cristina asks.
"No. I haven't talked to her at all. I haven't even seen her. We've been off on opposite nights," Izzie says, guiltily that she knows that Meredith's mother's diary as well as her own has been circulating among the interns.
"She doesn't even care. She has Derek, she has Sadie. Do you know that they call each other 'Death' and 'Die?' I mean, seriously? What does that even mean? And I know I shouldn't have brought up her mother. But she walks around here acting all superior…" Cristina says.
"You should have thrown a scalpel at her. I'd like to…" Izzie vents.
"Shut up, Barbie," Cristina says.
"Want to go to Joe's? I need a drink," Izzie says.
"Sure. Why not. Nothing else to do…" Cristina says.
(Break)