"I got here as soon as I could. What is it?" Izzie says, meeting Cristina in front of the hospital like she asked.

"Read this! Damn it!" Cristina says, shoving a piece of paper at Izzie.

Izzie takes the piece of paper and reads it.

To Dr. Yang:

After careful investigation regarding an incident on 11/29 in which you allegedly threw a scalpel at an intern, the board has determined that you will be suspended from service until 1/29. We ask that during this time, you participate in anger management training to prevent such an incident from happening again.

Sincerely,

Seattle Grace Hospital Board of Directors

Izzie feels a pit in her stomach. She knows she can fix this, and knows that she should. She also knows that once she admits what she knows and didn't share with Cristina, she's going to see the wrath of Cristina's anger.

"Cristina…I'm so sorry. I have to go. But I can fix this. I promise. I will fix this," Izzie says, rushing off.

"You can not! You can't fix everything, Izzie. Damn it! This is just so wrong!" Cristina yells after her.

Owen comes walking over. "Coming in, or going out?" he asks.

"Going out. I'm suspended. I will not be cutting flesh for two months. Two whole months…do you know how long that is?" she asks, angrily.

Owen looks at her. "Did you do it?" he asks.

"Did I do what?" Cristina asks.

"Throw a scalpel at that infuriating intern," he asks, leading her over to a bench near the front of the hospital.

Cristina sits down next to him and replies. "No. I didn't throw a scalpel at an intern. I definitely lost my temper. I definitely wasn't nice to her. I definitely made her have some freak out attack and kept firing questions at her until she totally cracked, but I never threw anything at her! I was mean. Yes. But there were plenty of times Dr. Bailey was mean to us with the intention of making us better doctors," she says, justifying her actions.

"Were you trying to make Sadie a better doctor?" Owen asks.

Cristina sighs. "No. I don't think she'll ever make a good doctor. That's why I yell at Lexipedia. She'll make a good doctor. She's smart. I yell at Sadie to see how long it will take until she just breaks and leaves the program…" Cristina explains.

Owen smiles. "I love your honesty," he says, leaning into her and kissing her.

Cristina kisses him back and then pulls away.

"I'm suspended…" she repeats.

"Yeah…" he says, putting his arm around her.

(Break)

"Study session tonight?" Lexie asks Sadie.

Sadie opens her mouth to protest. But Lexie cuts her off. "I won't take no for an answer. Besides…I need someone to bitch about Mark Sloan to, and you seem to be the only female in the city of Seattle who has any interest in being my friend. Therefore, I'm not letting you flunk out. We're going to study tonight, and you're going to listen to how I totally ruined any chances I ever had with Mark," Lexie says.

Sadie smiles. "Sounds good. I'll come over at around 6-ish. We can grab dinner and study."

Lexie shakes her head. "I'll come to you. George's college roommate is staying with us right now, and it's totally crowded in our little closet. We'll be better off at your house…I mean, Meredith's house…" she says.

"Sounds good. I have to get going. I have somewhere to be at 2:00," Sadie says.

"See you later!" Lexie says.

(Break)

Sadie walks into Dr. Wyatt's office, confidently.

"Have a seat, Sadie," Dr. Wyatt says, seating herself in a large comfortable chair across from Sadie.

"Thank you, Dr. Wyatt. Thank you for clearing my schedule so we could talk. I've been finding the pressure of this program to be tremendous. I mean, sometimes I feel like I'm not keeping up. I'm making friends with my colleagues…well…at least the fellow interns. And there is one attending who seems very friendly. Ummm…I think her name is Dr. Torres, but aside from that, the pressure is just insane…I mean…"

As Sadie rambles, Dr. Wyatt waits patiently for a pause until she says, "No, Sadie. You are not going to control this session. This is where I choose the topics," Dr. Wyatt says, firmly.

Sadie chews her lip, which is her only sign of nervousness as she replies, "No problem, Doc. I guess this is how you did it with, Meredith too?"

"I'm not going to discuss any other patients with you, you already know that. However…speaking of Meredith, her friendship had a huge impact on your life…hasn't it?" Dr. Wyatt asks.

"Meredith was like a sister to me at one point…" Sadie asks.

"At one point?" Dr. Wyatt asks.

"Well…when we were in Europe, she and I were really close. Then…after everything happened after the trip…well…obviously I fell out of touch for quite a while…but during that time…it was the only time anyone ever understood what I had gone through. My father…my mother…you know the whole story…I don't have to tell you," Sadie says.

Dr. Wyatt nods. "You're still very angry at your parents," she says.

Sadie shakes her head. "No. I'm not angry anymore…Really…it's all in the past now," she says.

"But it must have been very difficult growing up in a home where you never felt loved," Dr. Wyatt says.

Sadie takes a deep breath and tries to steel herself against the emotions that are creeping into her chest. The weeks of not taking her medication is catching up to her and she begins to feel the old feelings of rage boiling inside her which she tries to suppress before it becomes visible to Dr. Wyatt.

"Yes…it was. However, by taking my medication, I am able to cope with it," she says in a controlled voice with a polite smile.

Dr. Wyatt sees through the act, and tries to measure exactly how far she should push.

"I'm sure you can. However, you haven't been taking your medication as we discussed. Let's talk about your father. I have the report from the hospital. It sounds like he was extremely abusive to both you and Amy…" Dr. Wyatt says.

At the mention of the name, 'Amy' Sadie braces herself. She nods without saying anything. Against her will, she feels her hands start to tremble and sits on them to try to stop the shaking.

"Is it him that you are the most angry with?" Dr. Wyatt asks.

Sadie shakes her head. "No…" she whispers, feeling her will to suppress all of these emotions failing her.

"Is it your mother?" Dr. Wyatt asks.

Sadie pulls her knees up to her chest and hugs them. She nods. "Yes…" she whispers.

"Why?" Dr. Wyatt asks.

Tears stream down Sadie's cheeks. She silently curses herself for not being able to resist succumbing to the force of Dr. Wyatt's therapeutic intervention. She knows Dr. Wyatt has won this round and that she has cracked. She can't stop thinking about Amy…or that night…or her mother…

"She didn't protect her. She didn't save Amy. She let her…watched her…watched him…held me back…I could have saved her! I'm going to save her!! I AM!!!" Sadie yells, jumping out of the chair. All of a sudden, Dr. Wyatt sees that Sadie looks like a caged animal who has suddenly been let out. Her eyes are wild and seem to dart all over the place.

Dr. Wyatt knows she is out of her element. She is used to counseling doctors. She is used to patients like Meredith Grey, who's ambition to succeed is about never feeling good enough because of her past. She is used to the Erica Hahns of the world who seem to be unable to put their career aside for enough time to allow themselves any semblance of a personal life. Those are the problems she usually deals with, and she is good at them. Sadie's problems go deeper than that, and she worries that she may have done more harm than good. Her previous therapists have given very little guidance, other than a bulk of reports detailing the horrific events of her past and the eventual breakdown after the summer in Europe. Dr. Wyatt tries again, vowing to ask for help if this session doesn't end better than it started.

"Sadie…sit back down. Please," Dr. Wyatt asks.

"I can't! I have to save her. I'm going to save her! You can't hold me back! You can't stop me! No one can! This time I'll do it!" Sadie says, running from the room.

Dr. Wyatt decides against chasing her. She isn't sure what she would do if she caught her. Instead, she looks for the phone number of Sadie's previous therapist from the hospital in which she was inpatient, and dials the number…

(Break)

Lexie is in the locker room, changing into scrubs, when Izzie bursts in.

"We need to talk," she says to her intern.

Lexie looks startled. Since Lexie confided in Izzie that day about the diaries, Izzie has said very little to her. She made it clear that she disapproved, yet she treated her professionally, and never really mentioned it to her during the time she was acting as Lexie's resident. In fact, Lexie has grown to respect Izzie Stevens tremendously. She has learned a great deal from her and likes the way she maintains close contact with patient's families and treats the patients like people, rather than medical cases.

"What's wrong?" Lexie asks, looking at the grave look on Izzie's face.

"Sit down," Izzie says. Lexie promptly sits on a bench and waits to hear what Izzie has to say.

"I like you. I didn't want to like you, but I do. You're smart, you're nice, you have an excellent bedside manner with patients and get just a little bit over-involved. You care too much what other people think of you, and you work hard for everyone's approval. You try hard to make everyone happy, often at the expense of yourself. You remind me a lot of myself during my intern year," Izzie begins.

"Thank you…I think…" Lexie replies nervously, trying to figure out whether Izzie has just complemented or insulted her.

"Do you know the story of the reason I left the program for a while?" Izzie asks.

Lexie stammers. She doesn't want to admit to Izzie that all of the interns have gossiped about it since their first day, so she simply says, "I've heard rumors…"

"Yeah. I'm sure you have. Do you know what it took for me to go to the chief and admit that I was the one who cut that wire? I knew I'd be suspended or worse. I was terrified. However, there was no other option…I had to do it. I couldn't watch Meredith, Cristina, Alex or George be punished for what I did," she explains.

Lexie squirms uncomfortably. "You did the right thing…" she says.

"Cristina was suspended today, Lexie," she says.

Lexie pauses for a moment. "Cristina has treated me like the dirt beneath her shoe since I came here. Maybe it's just karma?" she says, weakly.

"Cristina is one of the most ambitious, dedicated doctors in this program. Could you live with yourself, knowing that she's taking the fall for a lie you told? Besides…she's Meredith's best friend. How can you look yourself in the mirror every morning? You're letting that pathetic excuse for an intern drag you into this mess. I will go to the chief if you won't, but I'm giving you the chance to be the hero on this one…you can take it or leave it. You have until 9:00am tomorrow to do the right thing…or I will," Izzie says, sternly as she turns to leave.

Lexie calls after her. "Dr. Stevens?" she asks.

"How did you…forget it…" Lexie asks.

"How did I what?" Izzie asks, turning around and sitting down next to Lexie on the bench.

"How did you stop needing everyone to like you?" Lexie asks.

Izzie thinks for a moment. "I guess I started liking myself," she says.

Lexie thinks for a moment before Izzie breaks her train of thought.

"Before rounds start, can you get Mrs. Healy started on a new IV. You have a few minutes to run to the supply closet…right?" she asks.

Lexie nods eagerly, glad she can be useful. "Thanks, Dr. Stevens," she says.

Izzie smiles. "My friends call me Izzie," she says before she walks out.

(Break)

Lexie walks to the supply closet and stops dead in her tracks as she sees Sadie huddled in a corner rocking back and forth, crying quietly. She instinctively kneels next to her.

"Sadie…are you okay? What happened?" she asks.

Sadie shakes her head. "Go away!" she sobs.

"Of course I'm not going to go away. Look at you! You're a mess. What happened?" Lexie asks, worried.

"I have to save her! I can do it this time…I can. No one's going to hold me back. I'll do it. I can…" Sadie says, while rocking back and forth.

Lexie has no idea what Sadie is talking about, but she knows something is very wrong. She wraps her arms around Sadie and says, "Listen to me. You are safe here. You're in the supply closet in the hospital. It's me…Lexie Grey…Meredith's sister. I'll help you. Just tell me what you need me to do," Lexie says.

Lexie's take charge attitude seems to snap Sadie out of her hysteria. She takes a deep breath. "Lexie. I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to…I'm so embarrassed. I'm just so sleep deprived. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I'm totally overwhelmed with all of this," she stammers.

"Sadie…I'm worried about you. That was really scary," Lexie says.

"Don't worry about me, Lex. I'm fine. Just exhausted. You know what they tell us in orientation…everyone's body reacts to the sleep deprivation and stress in different ways. I'll be fine. Just give me a few hours to sleep and I'll be ready for our study session at 6…okay? Thanks for everything….really. I owe you." Sadie says.

"You don't owe me…we're friends. Friends look out for each other," Lexie says.

Sadie gives her an intense look. "You're right. I'll look out for you too. I promise," she says.

"Thanks. Come on. At least let me walk you to your car. You still look a little shaky," Lexie says.

Lexie pulls Sadie to her feet and the two of them walk out together silently…each of their minds in very different places.

(Break)

Mark gets into the elevator followed by Derek.

"How ya doing, man?" Derek asks.

"You're gonna hate me…" Mark says.

"You slept with my wife…if I don't already hate you, I think you're pretty safe," Derek quips.

"I went out with Little Grey," Mark says.

"Okay…I'm mildly annoyed, but I don't hate you. How did it go?" Derek says.

"We had a fight," Mark says.

"So you really like her…" Derek says, smiling.

"What makes you say that? I yelled at her and sent her home in a cab!" Mark points out.

"We only fight with the ones we really care about…" Derek says. "Besides, if you sent her home in a cab, you didn't sleep with her…and THAT says it all!"

"Can we get a drink?" Mark says.

"Yes…but I'm not going to sleep with you." Derek says as he follows Mark out of the elevator.

(Break)

Meredith comes home from work and lies down in her bed. She feels exhausted and can't wait to just crawl into bed and sleep. She got a message from Derek that he was going for a drink with Mark, so she knows he won't be home for a while. She relishes the quiet house to catch up on sleep. It is rare that she has the house to herself without Izzie, Alex, Derek or Sadie at home. She crawls under her covers and closes her eyes, falling asleep.

Sadie opens the door. Despite the rare burst of sunshine in Seattle, she is wearing a raincoat which she clutches tightly, holding it shut. She closes the door behind her and locks it carefully and tiptoes up to Meredith's room. She opens Meredith's door, which creeks as it opens, waking Meredith out of her peaceful slumber.

"What the hell! Sadie??? I was sleeping!" Meredith complains.

"Go ahead! Yell at me…" Sadie says in an eerily calm voice.

"You're damn right, I'll yell at you! What kind of doctor wakes another sleeping doctor? Can you please turn the light off and let me go back to sleep? I'm so tired, I feel like I could keel over lying down!" she says.

"You look like her…" Sadie says, sitting down on Meredith's bed.

"Look like who? I'm not in the mood. I'm seriously exhausted," Meredith complains.

"Your mother. She hurt you…" Sadie says.

"Okay…We both hate our parents…we established that on a mountain top in Europe. Your father beat the hell out of you every day and your mother never stopped him, and my mother ignored me and told me I was never going to amount to anything. We had awful parents…but can we rehash our terrible childhoods another time? Please…Sadie…I'm not in the mood…" Meredith says.

"You're killing her," Sadie says, her thoughts becoming increasingly fragmented.

"Killing who? My mother? She is already very much dead…" Meredith points out, wryly.

"You have a little sister…" Sadie points out.

"I wish I didn't. But yes…I do. Is there a reason you woke me up to point out that my mother was dead and I have a younger sister? Did you decide today was a good day to state the obvious? What's going on, Sadie?" Meredith asks, rubbing her tired eyes.

"I have to save her! I have to save her! You're going to kill her!" Sadie says, closing her eyes and trying to shake the visions that are creeping into her head.

"Sadie! You're acting bizarre! Knock it off," Meredith says, grabbing Sadie's arm.

Sadie snaps and pulls away from Meredith. She pushes Meredith's arm away and reaches under her coat pulling out a small, but very real pistol and points it at Meredith.

"Sadie! What the hell are you doing?" Meredith asks.

"Saving Amy!" she says, firing a shot at the window which shatter the glass.

(Break)

*******

Okay everyone…I'm looking for those reviews…I can't wait to read them!! Please send them my way! This story is going to wrap up in the next few chapter, so look for a BIG standoff in the next chapter…it's going to be full of action and drama!

By the way…are we into reruns until after the New Year? I'm totally going to go into Grey's withdrawl!

Thanks so much for all the reviews on the last chapter!!!!!!