"You're the only person in the world who tells a guy that you need your space and then has him call and beg you to come out to dinner," Lexie points out.
"Derek knows me. He accepts my shortcomings, of which there are many…" Meredith replies.
"Stop it! We're going to have a Meredith bashing free day," Lexie says.
"You're not wearing that, are you?" Meredith asks Izzie as she watches her and Cristina enter her bedroom.
"Why? You don't like it?" Izzie asks, growing self-conscious.
"It's just that I didn't think we were getting dressed up. I love it. You look incredible," Meredith says, warmly, realizing that she was making her friend feel insecure.
"I told her she was over the top…but she always is. And then we're going to have to watch Alex give her that 'I want to rip that hot little number off your body' look all night…" Cristina says, rolling her eyes.
"What's your problem? You've been all over me the whole way here!" Izzie snaps.
"Nothing. I'm just sick of you. I miss Meredith. Meredith, you have to stop hanging out with this McSister of yours so much. You're my person," Cristina says.
Lexie laughs a little too hard, to show Cristina she can take a joke. Izzie leans over to her and whispers, "She's not joking. She'll play it off like she is, but she's not. It's weird and creepy, but her and Meredith, they have this like…weird bond. You just have to give them space sometimes," Izzie explains.
Lexie looks at Izzie strangely. "You guys have a lot of weird unspoken rules. Thanks for filling me in," she says.
"Do you think this looks okay? I mean, is it too much?" Izzie asks.
"No. I think you look great. Is this okay? I feel a little underdressed now. Maybe I should change," Lexie asks, insecurely as she notices how stunning Izzie looks.
"Definitely not. You look really good. And as far as the unspoken rules, you're right. There are a lot of them," Izzie explains.
"So what about you? Where do you fit in with Meredith and Cristina?" Lexie asks.
"I don't know, really…I never really figured that all out. I guess I'm Meredith's fall back. Mer tells me the things she doesn't want to tell Cristina. I'm the nice one. I'm the one that she comes to when she's wants someone to be nice, or supportive or all the things Cristina doesn't know how to be," Izzie explains.
"But what about you? Who can you go to? You know…like if you and Alex have a fight? Or if you just need a female perspective on things…" she asks.
Izzie thinks for a minute. "Well, I used to have George, but well…I don't know…that all got complicated. I can go to Meredith, but she's usually distracted by some kind of crazy drama in her own life. I don't know, usually I just have to figure it out. That's what I do. But things are good with Alex now, so I don't really have to worry too much about feeling so alone…you know? Still, sometimes it would be nice to not feel so friendless…you know?" she says.
"Tell me about it," Lexie says, with a laugh.
"Seriously?" Meredith says to Cristina
"Seriously!" Cristina replies.
"What?" Izzie asks.
"Nothing!" Meredith and Cristina reply in unison as they dissolve into laughter.
"Wow! You weren't kidding…" Lexie whispers to Izzie.
Izzie shrugs her shoulders and replies, "Whatever. I'm used to it." Then she looks at Meredith and Cristina and says, "We better go. We're going to be late for our reservation. Mark specifically said not to be late!"
Cristina climbs into the driver's seat and Meredith sits in the passenger seat. Izzie and Lexie sit in back. Meredith and Cristina chatter away as Izzie and Lexie sit quietly in the back seat.
Finally, Lexie turns to Izzie. "So, I don't' know if this is weird or anything, but I'm just getting the hang of being Meredith's sister. I mean, she just stopped wanting to shave my head or wanting to do about a million other things that could maim or disfigure me in some way, so I'm kind of still on shaky ground here. Cristina still calls me 'Three' and I think still hates me because of that whole letter thing, and just because well…she still hates me even if I did help save Meredith. So I guess I'm kind of saying, I could use an ally here. Like a consistent ally. Someone who won't like me one day and hate me the next," Lexie says, quietly.
"I like you," Izzie says.
"Ummm…that's good." Lexie replies, unsure of what to say.
"I mean it. You're uncomplicated. I mean, I love Meredith. She's like family. But boy is she high maintenance! And Cristina…she's just a whole other level of complexity. You just blurt things out. I think that's why I kept your secret that day in the supply closet. I like you, Lexie Grey. Welcome to this dysfunctional group!" Izzie says, smiling broadly.
"Do you think Mark Sloan is capable of liking me? I mean really liking me? Not liking me like you like me…you know as friends. Not that I equate you with Mark Sloan. I'm not a lesbian or anything…I mean...I mean, do you think Mark Sloan is capable of falling in love at all?" Lexie whispers to Izzie.
"Okay…you ramble more awkwardly than Meredith. Here's my take on Mark Sloan. He's seems like a totally reprehensible human being but it has to be an act because he's so tight with Derek, and Derek is such a good guy that I can't imagine he'd be associated with someone who truly was such a completely self absorbed jerk!" Izzie says.
"You totally didn't answer my question. Because I think I'm totally in love with Mark Sloan. I wake up thinking about him and go to bed at night thinking about him. But I know he's not the type of guy who falls in love. I mean, I know that he's slept with most of the hospital. I know that I may be just another notch in his belt…or his lab coat…he doesn't really wear a belt most of the time…but well, do you think there is maybe…just maybe a chance that I might be more than that?" Lexie asks.
"Remember when I said you weren't high maintenance? Well, I might have spoken too soon. You talk a lot. And you kind of ramble. But don't worry. I still like you. And as far as Mark Sloan goes…he's the kind of person you have to be direct with. He's not unlike Alex. He comes off as a jerk, until you really get to know him, and even then, sometimes he's a jerk. You just have to ask him if he's all in or all out. Tell him there's no in between. If you give him the option to keep one foot in and one foot out he'll play it safe. You have to lay it on the line," Izzie says.
Lexie thinks about that for a moment. "You're right," she says. "I'm going to lay it on the line…"
(Break)
When the girls arrive, the guys are seated at the table, drinking and laughing. Derek and Mark slap each other five and Owen and Alex look at each other and laugh. "Why do I feel like I'm at a bad frat party whenever I hang out with these two?" Alex asks.
"Because you are," Owen replies.
"They're here," Derek says, standing up and walking over to Meredith.
"That dude is so old fashioned. 10 bucks says he takes her by the hand and walks her to her seat," Alex says.
"20 bucks says he pulls out her chair for her." Owen replies.
"I'll throw down $50 if he unfolds her napkin and puts it on her lap!" Mark adds.
When they return to the table, Derek does all three of those things and his 3 friends laugh and slap each other five.
"Why do I get the feeling that you're being mocked?" Meredith asks.
"Because I am," Derek replies. "But that's okay. Just because these clowns have no class, doesn't mean I have to stoop to their level!"
"Come on. I have class! I have lots of class! Lexie, don't I have class?" Mark asks.
"Are you all in or not?" Lexie blurts out.
"What?" Mark asks, stunned.
Izzie leans over. "Okay, evidently timing isn't your strong suit," she whispers.
Lexie ignores her and stares at Mark.
"Are you all in or all out? I'm not going to be that girl. I'm not going to be the one who sleeps with you in the on call room or has casual sex when you page me. I'm not Dr. Torres. So I want to know. Yes or no. Are you in or out?" Lexie asks.
Derek looks at Meredith. "Wow! I think we should take a walk. It's a beautiful night," he says as they both stand up.
"Great idea. I could use some fresh air," Meredith replies, following him and motioning for the others to make an excuse to walk away as well.
"I could use a drink at the bar," Alex says. "Izzie, would you care to join me?"
"Ummm…okay," she says, and then whispers, "But I think this is going to get good!"
"Don't worry…we can watch from the bar," Alex whispers back as they walk away.
"So Owen, as much as I would love to watch this train wreck known as Lexapedia, we should probably go check out the view. Let's go look out the window," Cristina says.
Owen stands up and follows her. "Look out the window? That was the best you could do?"
(Break)
Meredith and Derek get outside and break into hysterical laughter.
"The look on his face! Man! That was priceless!" Derek says, laughing.
"And she just kept saying 'are you in or out?' I wanted to cringe for her! What on earth possessed her?" Meredith says, trying to catch her breath.
As their laughter dies down, Meredith says, "That felt really good."
"What felt good?" Derek asks.
"Laughing. I feel like I haven't really laughed since…you know…" she says.
"It's good to see you happy," Derek says.
"You make me happy," Meredith says, leaning her head on Derek as he slips his arm around her.
"It's okay to be happy," he replies.
"Sometimes I don't know if it is. It's so much easier to keep the bar low," she replies, honestly.
"It's also easier to be a cashier than a doctor, but I don't see you working at Stop and Shop," he says.
"It's different," Meredith says.
"You deserve happiness," Derek says, looking into her eyes.
"Do you really still want me?" Meredith asks.
"Does this mean you don't need a break from me anymore?" Derek asks.
"Well, if you're crazy enough to still want me, maybe I can be crazy enough to let you want me," Meredith says.
"I love you, Meredith Grey," Derek says, kissing her.
"I love you too, Derek Shepherd," Meredith replies as she kisses him back.
"I'd give up a week of O.R. time to have a video of what's going on in there right now…" Derek says.
"She's definitely crazier than me," Meredith says.
(Break)
"Did she really say 'All in or all out?'" Cristina asks. "That is so cheesy. It sounds like something Izzie would says!"
"Yeah. That was entertaining. But why does everyone really care if they get together? Why is everyone so involved in everyone else's lives here?" Owen asks. "I mean, you never even liked Lexie Grey, or Mark Sloan particularly."
"They are part of my extended family. Meredith, Izzie, Alex, George and I…we're family. And that makes the rest of those characters like extended family. And if you want to be with me, you're going to have to accept them," Cristina explains.
"So if I want you, I have to care what happens to all these people?" Owen asks.
"If you want me, you would care what goes on with these people because what happens to them affects me. These people matter to me," Cristina says.
"You matter to me," Owen says, wrapping his arms around Cristina's waist.
They kiss and hold each other close until Owen pulls away.
"What?" Cristina asks.
"Do you think he's "all in or all out?" he asks.
(Break)
"You told her to ask him if he was all in? Seriously, Iz? I mean, that's so lame," Alex says.
"Lame? You didn't think it was lame when I asked you!" she says.
"That's so not how it happened!" Alex says, taking a sip of his drink.
"Really? So you were just so chivalrous from the beginning that I didn't know what to do with myself?" Izzie asks.
"You gave Little Grey some really bad advice!" Alex says.
"I didn't mean for her to ask him now!" Izzie replies laughing.
"You never can keep your nose out of other people's business…can you?" Alex asks.
"If I had kept my nose out of your business, you'd still be with Ava or Rebecca or whoever she was," Izzie says.
"Low blow, Iz! At least I don't wield wire cutters," he replies.
"Why do I only see humor in things that aren't funny when you say them?" she asks.
"Because you love me?" Alex replies.
"I guess I do," Izzie says.
(Break)
"Okay…so that was inappropriate. I shouldn't have asked you in front of everyone. It's just that I was in the car with Izzie and I couldn't figure you out and she told me that she asked Alex if he was all in or all out and then it all worked out and I figured I'd try it. Then I walked in and you were standing there and you and Derek were laughing and I thought of Meredith and Derek and the fact that they are so forgiving of each other's faults and that they love each other so unconditionally, and it made me think of how much I want that from you. I mean, I want you to love me like Derek loves Meredith. Like when I'm annoying, you find it cute, and when I'm sad you get that sad look on your face too. And when I'm happy, your whole face lights up…you know what I mean? I don't know if you've ever felt like that about anyone, but I think I could feel that way about you. And I know you're not usually the type who dates one girl and falls in love, but I'm not Callie Torres. I can't be your on call room girl, because I'm falling for you…and I can't…" Lexie stops when Mark puts his hand over her mouth.
"All in," he says.
"What?" she asks.
"I'm in. You are so adorable right now, I want to take you right here, but unlike you, I know how to observe proper restaurant etiquette," Mark says.
"You're in? So that's it? You're with me? No other women? No on call room with Torres or anyone else?" she asks.
"Yes," Mark says, simply.
"So even though I just mortified you and acted like a complete idiot, you really want to be in a committed, serious relationship with me?" Lexie asks, still not sure she heard him correctly.
Mark kisses her. "You can ask me as many times as you want. The answer isn't going to change. I haven't always been a good man in the past, but you make me want to be better. You make me want to make you happy. I love you, McSweetie," he says, holding her close to him.
"I love you too, McSteamy…" she says, staring into his eyes.
"So should we let everyone come back to the table now?" he asks.
"They'll be back. I'm learning that this group is pretty closely intertwined and they don't ever not know what's going on in each other's lives. They are difficult and sometimes mean to each other, but in the end, I think they all rally around each other if one of them is in trouble. I'm honored to be a part of this crazy, dysfunctional family that Meredith has created for herself, even if it's just as kind of a peripheral member. And I'm honored that you want to be a better person for me," Lexie says, beaming.
"You talk a lot. Silence can be golden," Mark says.
"I do talk a lot…" Lexie says.
"I think I know how to shut you up," Mark says, kissing her again.
Meredith and Derek walk back to the table.
"Are we interrupting?" Meredith asks.
"Absolutely," Mark says.
"Good. Because we have a couple of things to say to you two…" Derek replies.
"Like what?" Mark asks.
"Like, Lexie…if you're going to get serious with this clown there are a few things you should know. First of all, don't ever let anyone tell you he isn't a good guy. He's deny it to the end, but when the chips are down, there is no person you'd want on your side more than Mark Sloan," Derek says.
Mark's eyes grow wide. He takes a moment before he responds. "Woah, man. That means a lot to me…after everything…I mean…thanks man," he says.
"And Mark…I may have never wanted a little sister, but now that I have one, if you do anything to hurt her, I'll kill you…it's that simple. I'll kill you," Meredith says with a sweet smile.
Lexie gasps, audibly. "Wow! Ummm…thanks Mer! I love you so much!" Lexie squeals and throws her arms around Meredith.
"Ummm…Sadie?" Meredith says, stiffening as Lexie squeezes her tightly.
"Sorry…too much?" Lexie asks.
Meredith doesn't answer, she just smiles and nods before they are interrupted by Izzie and Alex coming back to the table.
"So what happened?" Izzie asks, in a voice that's just a little bit too excited.
"Knock it off, Iz. I'm sure they saw us spying from the bar. Congratulations guys," Alex says.
"Thanks!" Lexie replies. "And thanks for the advice, Izzie. Maybe we'll name our first daughter after you!" she says, happily.
"Okay…and here's your dose of sisterly advice. Take it slow! Mark here, just gave up on call room sex. If you start mentioning kids, he'll run for the big red exit sign over there!" Meredith whispers to Lexie.
Cristina and Owen come back to the table.
"So, what happened," Owen asks, Mark, as Cristina watches, smiling.
"I'm in. I'm like the rest of you losers. I'm officially old and boring like you and Shepherd and Karev!" Mark says.
They laugh and eat and drink and make light conversation. Finally at midnight, Meredith stands up. "I'm on call in a few hours. I have to head over and sleep for a bit before my shift starts. Thanks guys, I had a great time," she says.
"I'll go with you," Derek says. "I have some work to do anyway."
They leave together and as they walk to the hospital, Meredith says, "It' hits me at weird times…you know?" she says.
"What hits you?" he asks.
"What happened? I mean, we were all sitting there, having such a good time and then I thought about it. All of a sudden, I realized…here we all are, having fun, and Sadie is in a mental institution, and if Lexie hadn't walked in when she did, I could have been dead…" Meredith says.
"It's going to take time…" Derek says.
"I don't think it's time I need," Meredith says.
"Then what is it?" Derek asks.
"I don't know yet…but I don't think that time is going to do it. I'm not myself. I have moments where I'm able to forget it, but then I remember and I can't imagine that it happened, but it did…and I'm still a little scared. And I'm still worried about Sadie and I feel guilty about it. And I just don't know what to do about all these feelings," she says.
"I'm here for you. You just let me know what you need me to do, and I'll do it." Derek says.
"I just need you to be you…I'll figure out what I need eventually. I will. But having you here helps. Thank you," Meredith says.
****
Okay…so this was a relatively light chapter. I wanted to get it up as fast as possible to thank you guys for being the most AMAZING reviewers EVER!! I got 20 reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys ROCK! Think we can top that this time?? Let's try! I'll try to get a new chapter up ASAP if you all review! You are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Jess