Just a quick reminder guys. This is a story I wrote purely for my amusement so don't take it too seriously
Jessi was starting to get a headache. This was the third person she talked to and she was still having no luck with getting any answers. Everybody just kept repeating the same thing and redirecting her to other completely unhelpful and annoyingly cherry people. Finally fed up she had grabbed one of them and told him to get whoever was in charge here NOW.
As she waited she finally turned towards her "husband". He was taking it even harder then her. He seemed to be split between staring angry at the cheerful people and almost whimpering and repeating "oh god oh god they are going to kill me" in Japanese. Since it was quite likely that she would need his cooperation to end this insanity quickly she walked up to him. Not really sure what to say she started with
"Ehh …hi?"
The boy who was currently in his terrified phase quickly turned around to face her and after a few seconds of hesitations responded with the same
"Ehh.. hi?"
" I am Jessi " she said extending her hand. She wasn't really sure how to handle this. She wasn't good with people so she decided to stick to the old clichés and introduce herself
The boy started bowing and stopped in mid air choosing to shake her hand instead. Remembering that he was Japanese Jessi tried to return the bow. In the ensuing confusion they did a strange mix of bowing and shaking hands.
"I am Saotome Ranma Ehh I mean Ranma Saotome. Sorry about that" he said nervously
"Well it's not really your fault. It's those crazy people around here" said Jessi looking disapprovingly at the gathered people
"Really?" asked the boy puzzled not quite believing that nobody was blaming him
"Well yeah it looks like we both just wanted the food right? So what do you say we talk with whoever is in charge her so we can end this thing quickly?"
"All right !" grinned the boy. Jessi felt relieved that she wouldn't get problems from him
"Let's go" said Jessi as she spotted a heavy set man with very decorated robes approaching them
"Hello dear children! May The Holy Chipmunk bless you on your special day!" he said cheerfully " You want talk to me yes?"
"It's not our special day" they both said at the same time. Jessi looked at Ranma showing him that she wanted to take the lead on this
"Look it's a mistake. We didn't know this was a marriage ceremony and we didn't agree on getting married ok?"
"But you be here on holy day !" he exclaimed surprised
"Just like thousands of other people "said Jessi while Ranma contributed with" It's freaking Friday I can be wherever I want"
Shooting him a stern look to shut him up she continued with
"It was obviously a mistake"
'But you ate from the sacred buffet!" he said incredulously
"Well nobody told us about that!" said Jessi starting to lose her temper. It was obvious that this whole thing was a mistake why couldn't this man see it?
"Stupid buffets always getting me in trouble" murmured Ranma quietly
"But you held hands!" he said while grabbing both of their hands and getting disturbingly close to them"
"We held an egg! "they said both at the same time although Ranma added "you moron"
"An egg" the man exclaimed happily and actually starting jumping on the spot "So so beautiful! Such symbolism"
Jessi could feel herself getting increasingly angry and really had to restrain the urge to grab this man's throat. Ranma also seem on the verge of beating the crap out of him
"Look this is not even legal . I am sixteen years old. I can't get married without permission from my guardians"
" I am also sixteen" added helpfully Ranma
"No problem for us! We be special exception. Yes we be! So now you can enjoy marriage yes" he nodded cheerfully
"You can't have a special exception. It's the law" said an even more angry Jessi
"Your politicians enjoy donations yes! They enjoy them very much. Especially private jets. They give exceptions to friends." He said happily" So you enjoy marriage now yes?"
Ranma lunged for him and she barely managed to hold him back by grabbing his hair. Thankfully this distracted her from her own desire to wipe that man's grin off his face. She quickly did a calculation in her head on how likely it was the politicians would stoop so low. The results were not encouraging
" Look we don't enjoy it, we didn't plan it and we don't want it! We haven't even seen each other until five minutes ago" she said after she secured a grip on Ranma's pigtail
"Yeah you asshole get it through your head we didn't know about your stupid rituals" Ranma said after he finally stopped struggling against Jessi's hold
"Oho. I see now!! Well you know what this means then!" Ranma and Jessi smiled at each other. They were finally getting somewhere. "Then it was destiny"
There was a moment of silence as both Jessi and Ranma tried to reign in violent urges.
"I am going beat the crap…" said Ranma not quite succeeding
"Can we get a divorce then or better yet an annulment?" quickly interrupted Jessi
"Yes. By the chipmunk you can. But do you really want to?" he said curiously
"YES"
"YES"
"Kiko please bring documents for ultimate shame of divorce" he actually started crying as he said this
The next half an hour they spent filling out documents. She had to help Ranmaa fill his because while his verbal English was quite good he could barely write. By the end they both actually felt much better since for once their problem got solved quickly and because the damn high priest who's name turned out to be Hapo Hapo left them alone for the most part. Once they were finished they finally went to him again and handed him the documents
"Is that all?" asked Jessi warily.
Hapo Hapo carefully inspected the documents and finally nodded
"Yes you filled them out very nicely. Those will do. Jing Mei take them back to our headquarter" the buffet girl quickly snatched the documents and vanished in the sea of people
"So it's all ok right? We are divorced. It's like it never happened?" she said trying to make sure
"And you won't send ninjas to hunt us down right" said a very serious Ranma. Jessi just stared at him. Ok now she getting really glad that she divorced him. Ninjas? And they say she was insane
"It's all ok. Shameful but ok" he said. They both sighed in relief but then Murphy's Law kicked in and Hapo added " In three months you will be officially divorced! Oh the shame" he started crying again
"What do you mean three months? We signed the documents" shouted Jessi. Ranma was merely content with growling
"Three months be the holy period the chipmunk makes you wait, so that you are sure in your decision. You visit us on the 25th day for the next three months and tell us each time that you are still convinced in decision. Then you be divorced" he said and then literally skipped away happily
"We are so screwed" groaned Ranma. Jessi nodded in agreement
"And thank you for signing documents. We be helpless in finding who you be if you didn't!" added Hapo as a final parting line
"That did not just happen" thought a horrified Jessi. She the super genius did not just get tricked by this moron
Ten minutes later Jessi and Ranma were away from the madness of the convention and were walking in awkward silence through the park. Ranma had decided to walk literally on the fence encircling the park showing balance that most acrobats would kill to have.
"You are a good. Are you an acrobat?" asked Jessi while trying to break the silence
"Heck no. I am a martial artist. And I am one of the best in the world" he said proudly
Afer that little tidbit of information they descended back in awkward silence. Neither one was very good at small talk. Finally Ranma said in a depressed tone of voice
"So I guess we are stuck together?"
"I guess so" agreed Jessi
"This blows" said Ranma and then panicked as he remembered how such words had brought on disaster before "Not that you are not cute or anything it's just…"
"Don't worry about it. I agree. It does suck. I really don't want to be married to you either"
Ranma stopped at the fence. This was a first for him. His ego bruised ,it quickly took over his mouth
"What do you mean you don't want to be married to me? I am awesome. I have two fiancés and it's full of girls who are after me" he said puffing his chest to show off his muscles
Jessi stared at the bizarre boy for a few moments as he seemed to realize what he just said. He began laughing nervously but it was too late. The angry Jessi grabbed his leg from the fence and slammed him to the ground. Grabbing him by the shirt she start shaking him and occasionally hitting his head in the ground as she shouted
"What do you mean you have two fiancés?! Did you do this on purpose? Did you know we were getting married ? "
Seeing the familiar look of fury in her eyes a look that he had seen so often in other psychotic and violent girls he quickly said
"Noo nooo it's not like that" he said quickly and to his relief Jessi stoped pummeling him
"Explain now"
"It's an arranged marriage thing. My father did it even before I was born so there would be someone to join the two schools of martial arts" seeing her mellow out a little Ranma started to relax. Thankfully she seemed willing to listen
"That explains one. What about the other?"
"She is just crazy. I beat her in a martial arts competition and now according to the stupid laws of her tribe and she thinks we must get married"
"So you didn't know?"
"No I swear. I already have enough girl troubles on my head. I am just saying that I am an awesome catch you know. A lot of girls would kill to be in your position"
Jessi sighed. Her husband had two other girls and an ego the size of Space Needle
"You are good looking it's just that I already am interested in someone else ok?" seeing him give her a satisfied smile Jessi used her current position on top to make sure that she wasn't missing anything else " Is there anything else I should know besides the fact that you have two fiancés one of which is crazy?"
"No of course not" sadly for Ranma at this very moment the automatic sprinklers in the park turned on and both he and Jessi were drenched in water
Jessi blinked a couple of time to clear out the water from her eyes and then she blinked several more times to make sure she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing. She was standing on top of a girl which clearly was not Ranma
I don't own either Kyle XY or the character of Ranma Saotome.
Don't worry. You don't need to know who Ranma Saotome is to read this story. I will give some more background info on him later on. I know he comes as a bit of an ass in this chapter but in reality he is a lovable idiot so don't worry