Derek parks the car in front of the burning building. "Oh my god…this is bad. Really bad…" as he watches people dragging bodies from the flames.
"She can't still be in there, man. She's gotta get out. I'm going in! I'm coming Lexie!" Mark shouts.
Derek grabs him. "You're not going anywhere. We don't even know if she's still in the building. Besides, you're a plastic surgeon, not a firefighter. I'm not letting you run into a burning building like a lunatic. Stay here with me," Derek says.
Mark obeys without a complaint. "Shepherd? Thanks. I can't think. I need you to think for me until we find her."
Derek nods. "I've always been the brains. Just look for Meredith…okay? Follow me and look for Meredith," he says.
(Break)
"This is taking a really long time," Izzie says.
"Why don't you just whine, 'are we there yet????' like a 5 year old and be done with it!" Cristina snaps at her.
"Shut up, Yang," Alex says.
"Please…we'd be done already if you didn't have to make 12 bathroom stops like a toddler," Cristina says.
"Or if Izzie didn't need to stop for snacks twenty times." Owen points out.
"Or if McStormy over here wasn't afraid to let the gas tank run below half a tank…" Izzie adds.
They continue to bicker until Owen says, "Hey. We're all on the same side. Let's just get there.
Cristina looks at him and says, "Thanks for driving."
"Hey, you told me I needed to embrace this dysfunctional family if I wanted to be with you. This is me, embracing the most dysfunctional family I have ever met," Owen says.
"Tell me Meredith is okay," Cristina says.
"Meredith is okay," Owen says.
"Thanks." Cristina says, quietly.
Izzie and Alex now sit next to each other in the back seat. Izzie rests her head on Alex's shoulder and closes her eyes.
"You think Lexie will be okay…right?" she asks.
"Iz…you do know that I slept with Lexie, right?" Alex says.
Izzie picks her head up off Alex's shoulder. "Of course I know that…why?" she asks.
"Well, it's just that you and Lexie were getting all BFFs or whatever you girls call it and I don't know…don't girls have some kind of weird code about that or something?" Alex asks.
"Weird code about what? We don't sleep with men the other one slept with before we even knew each other. No…I've never heard about that code. I'm okay with it Alex. And for the record, I'm not a virgin either. There were men before you," Izzie says, sarcastically.
"Woah…I think someone's a little jealous," Alex teases.
Izzie sighs. "I'm not jealous, Alex. I'm scared. I'm scared of what we're going to find when we get there," she says.
"Me too," Alex admits.
"Here it is," Owen says, as they pull up to the building.
They all get out of the car and stand motionless as they watch the flames engulf the building. Alex puts his arm around Izzie who leans on his shoulder. Owen looks at Cristina and says, "This is going to be a nightmare." Cristina looks up at him but does not respond.
Izzie looks at all of them with tears in her eyes and says, "We have to find them. Let's go."
(Break)
"I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it! Lexie!! Please…believe me! I didn't mean it!" Meredith cries.
Derek and Mark turn their heads. Meredith is only a few feet away, and is on the ground between Sadie's lifeless body and Lexie's charred body. She is more hysterical than Derek has ever seen her. Derek runs over to her and wraps his arms around her shaking body. He pulls her off Lexie's body and pulls her toward him.
"Shhhh…Deep breaths, Mer. Slow, deep breaths. Just breathe," he says.
Mark looks at Lexie and stands there frozen. Derek looks at him. "Mark, call the chief. Tell him we need a helicopter to transport Lexie and Sadie to Seattle Grace, immediately.
"I-I-I can't, man. I-I gotta get out of here," he says, running through the crowd.
Derek calls after him, and is suddenly torn between holding Meredith and chasing his friend down to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. Fortunately, at this moment, Cristina, Owen, Izzie and Alex rush over to where they are sitting.
"Thank god you guys are here. Listen…I've got to go get Sloan. I can't leave Mer alone with this," he says, motioning to Lexie and Sadie's bodies. Hunt, go call the chief and tell the chief that we need a helicopter stat. Stevens, and Karev, monitor Lexie's vitals and do the best you can to keep her stable. Cristina, take over for me. Mark's in bad shape and Mer needs her person right now," he says.
Cristina slowly approaches Meredith whose sobs have died down slightly due to exhaustion. She sits cross legged on the ground and Meredith puts her head in Cristina's lap. Cristina strokes her hair.
"I didn't mean it," Meredith whispers.
"I know," Cristina says.
Alex and Izzie lean over Lexie. They take her pulse and check her breathing. "She's holding her own," Alex says.
Tears stream down Izzie's cheeks as she says, "Look at her face, Alex. You'd never know this was Lexie," Izzie says.
Alex looks at Lexie's swollen, burned face. "When she can speak again you'll know it's Lexie. No one's just a face, Iz. She's still Lexie," he says.
Izzie sits next to her. "Do you think she's in pain?" she asks.
Alex knows the answer that Izzie wants her hear. "No. She's resting peacefully," he says, putting his arm around Izzie.
Izzie turns to Meredith and Cristina. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she asks Meredith who is no longer sobbing. She is simply lying in Cristina's lap.
"I didn't mean what I wrote, Iz. I really didn't," Meredith says.
"I know. We all know. Lexie knows too," Izzie says, brushing Meredith's hair out of her eyes.
"She's hanging in there Mer. We're going to get her to Seattle Grace and we're all going to take care of her. Every single one of us is going to make sure she comes out the other side of this," Alex says.
Owen rushes back. "Helicpoter is on its way. Let's keep her warm. With burns like this, body temp can drop from the shock, he says, taking off his coat and laying it over Lexie. Izzie and Alex do the same.
"Now we wait. That's the hardest part," Owen says.
(Break)
Derek runs to the car where Mark has both hands on the driver's side door and is leaning on it with his head down. He has tears running down his cheeks, but makes no noise. Derek puts his hand on Mark's back. "We've got a helicopter coming. Why don't you follow me back and we'll wait for it. You can ride with her," Derek says.
Mark shakes his head. "I can't ride with her. I can't even look at her," he says.
Derek looks at him sharply. "I thought you were over being so shallow! That's still Lexie Grey. The same girl you told me you were falling in love with! Now, because she doesn't look like the trophy you wanted, you're bailing?" Derek snaps, self-righteously.
Mark faces him and speaks slowly and deliberately. "No. I'm bailing because I'm not strong enough to watch her suffer. I'm a plastic surgeon. Do you know what the recovery from something like that takes? Do you know the kind of pain she's going to be in when she wakes up? I love her so much that I can't even think about it. And for the record, Derek, she's still beautiful. I'm not that shallow man whore anymore," Mark says.
Derek immediately regrets his words. "I'm sorry. Come on. Let's go back. The helicopter will be here soon."
Mark shakes his head. "I can't, man. I'm sorry. Tell everyone I'm sorry," he says.
Derek grabs Mark's shoulders. "Listen Sloan! I've known you since you were a little kid who was scared to climb the monkey bars on the playground. I covered for you then and told everyone you had climbed them at night when we came to the playground and no one was there, but I can't cover for you now. You're scared. Fine! I'm scared too. I hate watching Meredith suffer. But I'm there and I hold her hand and I like to think that my being there makes it a little less scary for her. Little Grey needs you now in a way she's never needed you before. She needs you like she probably never will again. It's what you do now that counts. Don't blow this, Mark. You won't get a second chance," Derek says, forcefully.
Mark is silent as he ponders Derek's words. "I told you…I need you to think for me. Tell me what to do, Derek," he says.
"Just follow me back to Lexie and Meredith," he says as he begins walking.
Mark follows him without saying a word.
(Break)
Izzie stares at Sadie's body. "I can't believe she's dead. I mean, she saved Lexie's life," she says to Alex.
"She was a lousy doctor, but she finally saved a life," Alex agrees.
"Alex! Don't speak ill of the dead!" Izzie reprimands him.
"Denny sucks," Alex whispers, with a smile.
"Alex!" Izzie says again, but cannot contain her smile.
"Just had to make you smile a little. It's going to be a very long road ahead," he says.
"Thanks," Izzie says, with a small smile.
"Helicopter's here," Owen says, pointing to a large form in the distance. "I'll go get the team," he says rushing towards the helicopter.
Meredith sits up and looks at her sister. Izzie, Cristina and Alex look worriedly at each other.
"Stop looking at each other like that. I'm fine. I'm going to do this. I'm going to make this up to her. I'm going to be the sister I was supposed to be. I can't promise I won't freak out sometimes, and when I do, you can all help bring me back to the realm of sanity, but right now, I'm going to do this. I'm going to be strong and positive and bright and shiny and all the things Lexie needs me to be. So stop looking at each other like that," Meredith says with a renewed sense of strength.
Derek and Mark come back and Cristina says, "Owen went to go get the team. The helicopter is here."
"What do we do about her?" Cristina says, pointing at Sadie.
"Her name is Sadie, and she saved Lexie's life. Jeez! You're so insensitive!" Izzie snaps.
"Oh yeah! You've been so sensitive. What did you call her? McPsycho or was it McCrazy. Lose the self-righteous attitude!" Cristina snaps back.
Alex leans over Sadie. "No pulse, no respiration. She's gone," he says.
"Then we bring her back with us. We never leave one of our own," Owen says. "Come on, Cristina, help me carry her to the chopper," he says.
Without protest, Cristina lifts Sadie's feet as Owen lifts her arms.
Dr. Bailey arrives with a stretcher and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Lexie. "Holy mother of god," she whispers.
"It's bad," Izzie agrees.
Dr. Bailey allows herself one more moment before she turns back into doctor mode. "There's room for two of you to ride with her back to the hospital if I give up my seat. We can figure it all out when we get to the helicopter. Karev, carry the other side of this. Stevens, run up ahead and start up the monitors. Shepherd, keep Grey and Sloan calm. Let's go," Bailey says in a take charge manner.
"I'll ride with her," Mark says.
Derek looks at him questioningly.
"What?" Mark asks. "You said it's what I do now that counts. I'm gonna get this right," Mark says.
"I'll ride too," Meredith says.
"Will you be okay without me?" Derek asks.
Meredith kisses him. "Yes. You can be my knight in shining armor when we get there. Because I'm sure by then I'll be freaking out, but right now, my adrenaline has kicked in and I'm fine," Meredith says.
"Fine isn't always good," Derek says.
"Life isn't always good," Meredith says.
"I love you," Derek says, kissing her as they approach the helicopter.
"I love you too," Meredith says.
"See you back at the hospital," Derek says. "Hang in there, Sloan."
Mark and Meredith nod and follow Lexie's stretcher onto the plane.
"Do you think she can hear us?" Meredith asks.
"This chopper's so loud, I can barely hear us," Mark says.
"True," Meredith replies. She pauses. "You know, I freak out too," Meredith says.
"What?" Mark asks, caught off guard.
"I freak out. Sometimes, when Derek puts his arms around me, I want to run screaming in the other direction. Or when Lexie says she loves me and has always wanted a sister, I want to lock myself in a closet until everyone goes away. It's so easy to be alone. I know the rules. I don't know the rules to all these relationships, and they're scary because sometimes they feel good and feeling good is so scary because it can only mean that eventually everything will be taken away and I'll end up in that dark place again," Meredith says.
"Why are you telling me this?" Mark asks. "I'm a plastic surgeon, not a shrink."
"Because I know you freaked out before. And this is going to be a long haul, and we're both going to be leaning on Derek a lot. Let's make a deal that sometimes, when one of us is feeling good that we can lean on each other too. We need to stick together to get her through this," Meredith says.
"She's still beautiful," Mark says.
"Yeah. She is," Meredith agrees as the helicopter takes off.
(Break)
Derek and Dr. Bailey climb into his car while Owen, Cristina, Izzie and Alex set off in Owen's car.
"How are you holding up, Shepherd?" Dr. Bailey asks.
"I don't have a choice. I have to hold up. I have to take care of Meredith and Mark so that they can take care of Lexie, so since you asked, I'm holding up fine," he says.
"You don't look fine. And I think you're going to need all the strength you can get when you get back to the hospital, so if you don't mind, I'll drive. Give me the keys," Bailey says in a no-nonsense voice.
Derek opens his mouth to protest and then realizes how relieved he is to not be in control for once. "Thanks," he says.
(Break)
"Meredith looked good at the end, don't you think? I think she's really going to step up and help Lexie," Izzie says.
"Seriously Izzie? Are you kidding? Did you see Lexie? Nothing Meredith can do is going to help her. She's going to be disfigured and disabled for life. And if there's nerve damage, her career as a surgeon is over. So yes. Meredith looked good now, but once she realizes that no amount of bright and shiny can change what happened to Lexie, she's going to fall apart again. It's going to be bad," Cristina says.
"Meredith and Lexie need positive right now," Izzie says.
"No. Lexie needs a miracle and Meredith needs help dealing with reality, so if you want to tell her to paste a high ponytail on her face and a big smile, go right ahead, but I'll be there to help her pick up the pieces when she realizes that no smile is going to be big enough to bring Lexie's skin back,"
Izzie opens her mouth to respond when Alex stops her.
"Good. So Izzie, you'll be there to keep Meredith and Lexie's spirits up, and Cristina, you'll be there to give it to them straight. Sounds like they are lucky to have you both," Alex says, diplomatically.
"Man, you may be a lowly resident and I may be a lofty attending, but I should take a lesson from you in dealing with those two. Good work. I've never heard two people go at it like them. If bickering were an Olympic sport, we'd have two gold medalists right here," Owen says, incredulously.
"Scary thing is, they actually like each other on some level. Could you imagine if they didn't?" Alex asks.
(Break)
"Everyone clear out of the area!" Dr. Webber says as the helicopter lands on the pavement in the back of the hospital.
A group of interns stand huddled together as Lexie is wheeled into the hospital followed by Meredith and Mark.
"I said out of the way!" Dr. Webber yells as he pushes through to make room for the stretcher.
"Get her to ICU, stat!" Dr. Webber says.
As they approach the doors to ICU, Dr. Webber stops Meredith and Mark. "Let us get her stabilized and then we'll let you come see her. Sloan, follow me. I need to speak with you about something," he says.
Mark glances at Meredith who nods at him. "Go ahead. I'll wait here and make sure that she's taken care of," she says.
Mark numbly follows the chief into his office. "Dr. Sloan, first of all, let me start by saying how sorry I am about Lexie's condition. It does look critical, and I want to assure you that we will be doing everything we can do to give her the best care possible," Dr. Webber begins.
Mark manages a tight lipped smile which he hopes expresses some semblance of gratitude.
Dr. Webber continues. "However, the best care possible for a burn patient includes our top plastic surgeon, and that's you. This puts me in a massive predicament. You're the best we have…the best there is. But there's the issue of you treating a loved one…" Dr. Webber says.
Mark stands silently and waits to hear where the chief is going with this.
"Mark. I need you to say something. I need you to reassure me that you can do this. I need you to tell me that you'll be able to give her the best care possible and not let your feelings cloud your treatment of this burn patient," Dr. Webber almost pleads.
Mark regards the chief for a moment. "First of all, I am the top plastic surgeon and Lexie deserves only the best. No one else is laying a hand on her. Second of all, her name is Lexie, and if you ever call her this burn patient again, you'll find yourself singing castrato," he says.
"Point taken, Dr. Sloan. We're going to get Lexie stabilized and then you can go in and take a look at the extent of the burns," Dr. Webber says.
(Break)
Derek rushes in, followed by Cristina, Izzie, Alex and Owen and sees Meredith sitting outside the ICU with her head in her hands. Derek sits down next to her and pulls her towards him. Meredith pushes him away. "Not now, Derek. I can't. I have to be here when she regains consciousness. I have to be here and I have to be strong. I cannot fall apart right now, so stop looking at me like that. All of you! Stop looking at me like she's already gone. She's not. She's in there, and she's fighting, and we all have to fight with her. So this is me…not falling apart…" Meredith says, taking a deep breath and standing up.
Olivia steps outside and says, "Ummm…Dr. Grey, we've got her vitals under control. She's conscious, and you can see her…but…well…I just have to warn you. She's in a lot of pain. We wanted to get her on a morphine drip but with the extent of her burns, there was nowhere to place a line…"
"Can I see her?" Meredith asks.
Olivia nods.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Derek asks.
Meredith shakes her head. "I can do this. I owe her this," she says stoically.
Derek steps back and lets Meredith open the door alone.
Meredith walks into Lexie's room and sits down next to her.
"You got your wish…" Lexie says in a labored voice.
"Lexie…I never…" Meredith stops herself, knowing this is not the time of the place to tell Lexie how the guilt at what she had written is eating at her.
Lexie's eyes are squeezed shut and every so often she writhes in pain. "It hurts. It hurts so much, Mer."
"We're going to make you better…" Meredith promises.
"How bad is it? Tell me the truth," Lexie says.
Meredith takes Lexie's hand and says, "You're going to be good as new in no time."
"You're the worst liar ever," Lexie says.
Dr. Webber saves Meredith from having to respond. "Dr. Grey, we're going to take good care of you here. I promise. However, that means that Dr. Sloan is going to have to serve as your plastic surgeon? Are you comfortable with that?"
Lexie nods painfully. "Of course. There's no one I'd rather put my life in the hands of."
"I've assigned Stevens to your case. She'll make sure that there is communication between the various doctors and will monitor your day to day progress." Dr. Webber explains.
Meredith opens her mouth to protest, but Dr. Webber shakes his head. "Don't even think it, Meredith. Lexie needs you here as family, not poking and prodding her. I'll give you any release time you need to in order to be here when you need to be," he says, compassionately.
"Thank you," Meredith says, knowing that the chief has her best interests at heart.
"Now, Meredith, I'm going to need you to step outside so that we can examine Lexie. You can come back later," he says, opening the door.
Meredith looks at Lexie. "I'll be right outside if you need me. I'm not going anywhere," she says.
Lexie wants to say so much. She wants to tell Meredith how much it means to her that she is here. She wants to ask Meredith where Sadie is, if she got out alright. She wants to tell Meredith how scared she was when the fire broke out and she couldn't get out and how scared she is now of the prospect of being permanently disabled and disfigured, but she can't muster the energy, so she just says, "Thanks," which feels like such an over simplification.
As Meredith steps into the hallway, Mark stands next to Derek. "You know, you don't have to do this," Derek tells him.
"Yeah. And they can fly in some second rate plastic surgeon to work on my girlfriend while I sit in the gallery? Yeah…right. I'm going in there and I'm going to fix her," he says.
Derek puts his arm around Meredith, protectively. "We're right here if you need us, buddy. Okay?" Derek says as he watches Mark go in to Lexie's room.
As Mark enters, he is first struck by the gravity of her condition. Next he is struck by how devastated he is because of the gravity of her condition.
"I guess this is what everyone has been talking about all these years…" Mark says as he sits down on the edge of her bed.
"What?" Lexie asks.
"Love. I guess this is what it feels like…Lexie…I…I'm not good at this whole telling you how I feel, but I want you to know that…when I thought you weren't going to make it…I…I didn't know how I could go on without you. I never knew what love was, but I think this must be it. This world is an empty place without you in it, so here I am…telling you I really love you. Mark Sloan is in love."
Lexie smiles. "Wow. So I'm the girl who finally captured Mark Sloan's heart?" she asks.
"You more than captured it, McSweetie. You discovered it," he says.
Lexie thinks of all the things she wants to tell Mark if she could muster the energy. She thinks of how many times since she came to Seattle she has felt unworthy and how many mistakes she has made. She thinks off all the times she felt alone and how the only person who seemed interested in getting to know her was Mark. He didn't seem to care how many mistakes she made. He just supported her and she loved him for it. She loved him for being here now.
"And now I'm going to take off my boyfriend hat and turn into your doctor. I'm going to examine you. I'm going to touch you all over. It shouldn't feel that different than…well…you know…" Mark teases.
"Except, the last time you touched me, I didn't look like…" Lexie says, letting her voice trail off.
Mark puts his finger over her mouth. "Shhhhh…he says. You are beautiful just the way you are," he says.
(break)
"I can't believe the chief picked you. I mean, seriously? Why you? I'm so much better at…well…everything than you," Cristina says to Izzie.
Izzie smiles condescendingly. "I guess you see it that way, but the chief doesn't. But it's okay…everyone's entitled to their opinion.
"Here they go again," Owen whispers to Alex.
"This is going to get worse before it gets better…trust me," Alex replies.
"I should get going. I have to tend to my V.I.P. patient. Don't you have work to do in the pit?" Izzie asks, smiling.
"Maybe some really big trauma will come in and you'll be stuck holding Little Grey's hand," Cristina retorts as she walks away.
(Break)
Callie grabs Mark in the doorway before she enters Lexie's room. "Hey. Why did you page me?" she asks.
"I need you to check out her bones and tendons. It's bad, Torres. Really bad. You can't even imagine. She's burned beyond what you can imagine. The pain…I can't even think about it. I don't know what kind of mobility she's going to have. She's got no useable tissue for skin grafts and I need to know what's going on underneath there. What if she can't be a surgeon? What if her hands are compromised? What if she can't walk? What if she…" Mark puts his head in his hands and closes his eyes.
"Hey, Sloan. Let's take it one step at a time. You figure out what to do about her skin and leave her mobility to me. Breathe Mark," she says.
"I'm trying. Breathing is an effort. You'll get it when you see her," Mark says.
"I'm sorry, Mark. I know you care about her. I'm sorry this happened," Callie says.
"Thanks Torres. Now stop being my friend and go be her doctor," Mark asks.
Callie walks into Lexie's room and says, "Oh my god! Lexie…I didn't know…I mean…I'm so sorry…"
Lexie smiles. "Thanks. I guess it is as bad as I think then…" she says.
"Well, we're just going to look at whether the fire hit any of your tendons or bones or damaged any nerves. We're going to make sure your surgery hands are in working order," Callie says.
"I can't move anything right now. I'm in so much pain. Am I ever going to operate again? Am I ever going to walk again?" Lexie asks, matter of factly, as though she is talking about someone else.
"I don't know," Callie says, honestly. "Let me take a look."
Callie examines Lexie silently. When she finishes she says, "Let me just take a few x-rays and then I'll let you know what I find. Okay?"
Lexie nods. "Thank you."
Callie writes the order for x-rays and leaves to find Mark standing outside the room.
"I won't know anything until I get the X-rays back. I'll tell them to put a rush on it," she promises.
Mark thanks her and then walks down the hall to where Derek and Meredith are sitting on the floor. He sits next to them.
"I love her. I love her like you two love each other. I get it now, Shepherd. I get what I did to you when you loved Addison…because if I ever lost her…I don't know what I'd do. I'm sorry man. I'm really sorry for everything. I'm going to be a better man. I promise," Mark says.
Derek smiles. "Addie and I weren't right. Now, if you sleep with this one, I'll have you killed," he says, pointing to Meredith. He grows serious. "This is going to be a long haul. You two need to pace yourselves. Go lie down in the on call room and get some rest," Derek says.
***
Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the best!! Please keep reading and reviewing! Next chapter is going to be intense as they have to figure out whether Lexie can be helped…
Can't wait to hear from you all!! Loved getting your reviews last time!!
Wasn't Grey's awesome this week????
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