Once I was sure Soda had gone, I set my plan into action. I went into the kitchen and took a six-pack of beer out of the refrigerator. Like Anna had suggested, it was unlikely anyone was keeping track of how much beer was in our fridge, and, even if anyone did notice some missing, Two-Bit would most likely be blamed. At this point, I was probably the least likely suspect.

I went back into my bedroom, pulled up my screen, and slipped out my bedroom window. Since my room faced the side opposite where we parked Darry's truck, my window made for convenient entrances and escapes without being seen. When Soda and Pony had slept in my room, I am sure they had made much better use of the window than I did, but, since I already felt like I was doing something forbidden, I figured I might as well sneak out, too. Plus, I thought, if Soda came back early he wouldn't have known I left the house. I could leave the front door locked and sneak back in if I heard him come home. I walked through the backyard and found Ben waiting for me at the fence bridge. He took the beer from my hand and helped me up and over the fence.

"Thanks," I said. He just looked at me and smiled, shaking his head, like he couldn't believe what I had suggested we do. I was a little surprised myself, but figured I might as well take the opportunity to see what all the fuss about drinking was about.

We walked up his porch steps and sat in the chairs. He put down the beer and looked at me.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" he asked.

"Yes." I said.

He seemed skeptical. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I'm curious," I said. I was still thinking about what Two-Bit had said, that it makes things seem easier. Maybe, for just a night, I wouldn't have to think about losing my parents, how hard Darry had to work to support us, how miserable Soda was, and how worried I was that Pony and Darry might fall back into their fighting routine again.

"I want to try it. And I know you won't rat me out to Darry," I added.

"Of course I won't," he assured me.

"Your Mom's working, right?" I asked.

"All night." His mom sometimes worked a double at the hospital on weekends.

"Kevin?"

"He doesn't care anyway, but he's out with Sweeney and Jakes."

Sweeney and Jakes were an institution on our side of town. I truly did not even know which one was Sweeney and which was Jakes, or how they got their names. They were not actually related, yet I had never seen one without the other. I think they lived together, though I was not sure why. Something about their single parents having dated when they were young and they had both decided they enjoyed having an accomplice for the wide array of trouble they caused. They traveled in an enormous boat of a car, yellow with black stripes, and I always saw it as a giant wounded bumblebee floating down the street.

They were tough, and had quite a reputation for fighting, but, as far as I knew, they were pretty harmless to someone like me. Kevin occasionally hung out with them, as did Soda and Steve. In fact, it was pretty likely that Soda and Kevin and their respective groups would end up at the same place. There were only a few establishments in our neighborhood where minors could get served, and I am sure that is what all of them, except Soda, had in mind. Maybe even Soda, too. He didn't usually drink, but with how miserable he had been lately, anything was possible.

"Oh. Okay."

"You still sure?" he asked.

"Definitely," I said.

Ben reached down, pulled a bottle opener out of his pocket, and opened one of the bottles.

"For you, mademoiselle," he said, and handed it to me. I waited until he had opened his own. "To growing up," I offered a toast. We clinked our bottles together. Somehow I felt my first experience with alcohol was a rite of passage; that afterward I might no longer feel like such a kid. I was sick of being treated like one.

"Amen," Ben said as he drank up. He had drunk his first beer the past summer. My first swallow almost made me gag. This was what I had been waiting for? It tasted terrible. I forced it down.

It got easier and even seemed to taste better after the first beer. Ben turned on the radio in his living room and we listened to music, singing along and getting sillier by the minute. Before we knew it, the beer was gone, and both of us were giddy, dancing around and pretending our bottles were microphones. I hadn't felt so carefree in a long time. I didn't want to come down.

"C'mere," I called Ben down to the yard.

"What?" he asked.

"Lay with me," I said, and pulled him down. "Look at the stars." I remembered how Pony had made me look at the stars at the church, how I had wondered if it was just the perspective of lying down that had made them look different out in the country than they did in Tulsa.

They looked pretty indistinct, but that might have just been from the alcohol. I wasn't sure.

"Aw, look at them," Ben said, giggling.

"We drank everything," I laughed.

"I think my Mom has some wine inside," he said. I laughed and he got up and went into to get it. He came out with a bottle of wine and a corkscrew and our little party continued on the porch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We sat side by side on the swing, both of us realizing we had drunk too much, but surprised by the emotions aroused in us by the lack of inhibition brought on by the alcohol. We were very giggly, and kept trying to tickle each other. I liked the way my hands felt on Ben's stomach, making him laugh. And the way his hands felt on mine. We had turned the radio down and it remained in the background, but not so loud anymore that we had to yell at each other to be heard over it. I shivered.

"You're cold," Ben said.

"No I'm not," I lied. But my teeth were practically chattering.

"Yeah, you are." Ben took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders. As he reached around me, his face was inches from my own. I closed my eyes.

I knew what I wanted to do. "Do it!" my mind screamed.

"Ben?" I tried to speak his name in question form. I wanted him to turn towards me.

It worked, because he turned and looked right at me.

"What?" He looked suspicious, as though I was, at any moment, going to reach out and tickle him again.

We stared at each other for a second, then I admitted,

"I came over here with a plan." I realized I was having some difficulty talking.

"To get drunk?" he asked. "Successful plan." We both laughed.

"No… another plan." I was so nervous.

"Okay, then, what was your plan?" He was still staring at me, the blue in his eyes such a different shade than I was used to seeing in my own.

I reached behind him on the swing, put my arm around him, and pulled him towards me until we sat eye to eye.

"This was my plan," I said, and extended my neck so that my face was almost touching his. He met me halfway, and our lips met to let what we had been feeling toward each other finally be acknowledged. As we kissed, my entire body gravitated towards Ben, and his arms encircled me. Our mouths remained against each other for a long moment, and finally Ben pulled away and looked me in the eye. It was just what I had imagined a first kiss should be: soft, gentle, safe. His gaze was filled with something like happiness, along with a touch of surprise and skepticism.

"Scout Curtis!" He feigned shock. "You vixen!"

I leaned in and kissed him again. This time he participated a bit more actively, until suddenly pulling away. I looked at him. "What? Am I a bad kisser?"

"Scout," Ben began, "you're drunk. I'm drunk. You probably don't even know what you're doing right now."

"Yes, I do. I know exactly what I'm doing. I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you, Ben. I was just scared, that's why I brought the beer. I never wanted to kiss someone before." I heard talking, but it didn't seem like I was the one doing it.

He was listening, though.

"I don't even know how to kiss anyone. Two-Bit always has a beer whenever he is nervous about something; he says it gives him courage. I wanted to kiss you, but I didn't know if you wanted me to. I was afraid you wouldn't kiss back. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." I was talking way too fast and my words weren't coming out right.

He stared me directly in the eyes. I saw him take a deep breath.

"I want you to kiss me, Scout." He leaned back in and put his arms around me and pulled me towards him. "And I want to kiss you back." Our bodies merged in another kiss and for a moment I felt in my heart the frightening truth of how much I cared for him, how my feelings about him were changing. He put his hand on my waist and it sent shivers all over my body. Immediately the porch began to spin, and I pulled away. I turned and sat with my head between my knees, my eyes closed.

"Scout? You okay? I'm sorry." Ben was immediately concerned. I guessed he thought I had pulled away because of his hand on my waist.

"It's not you, Ben. I'm just dizzy. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry about?"

"I want to keep kissing you. But I'm just feeling kinda sick."

"Don't be sorry. I'm pretty sure you'll get another chance," Ben said. I could hear in his voice that he was smiling. I liked that, the thought that we could kiss again, maybe without the questionable benefits of beer next time.

"Plus, I'm not surprised you're feeling sick," he added. "You drank four of the beers and at least a quarter of the wine."

I was shocked. I hadn't meant to drink so much, but I had lost track. "How come you're not drunk?" I asked. That meant he had drunk the other two beers as well as the other three-quarters of the wine.

"I am, just not as much as you are," he said. "I'm bigger and I've drank before." I had no idea what difference that made, but I didn't even try to think about it.

I was pretty sure by that point that I was going to throw up. Embarrassed to be sick in front of Ben, I stood up.

"I think I better go. I'm probably gonna get sick." I was really slurring my words now.

"Let me take you home."

"No, Ben, I just…" I realized I was going to be sick sooner rather than later and I turned and ran down the stairs. Running toward home, the combination of my dizziness and my drunkenness caused my to misjudge the jump onto the fence into my own yard. My shin caught on the sharp edges and I fell face down onto it. Knowing I had nowhere better to go, and that I wasn't going to make it into my own house, I turned my head and threw up, through the wire in the fence. Then, not even knowing why, I started to cry.

Ben was at my side in a second. He took my hand. "Are you okay?"

"I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be. First time I ever drank too much, I got sick in Kevin's car. He didn't talk to me for two weeks! You'll be okay. Hey, don't cry, Scout. Come on, here, I'll help you home."

He lifted me up and I put my arm around his shoulders. I felt even drunker than I had before I got sick, which didn't quite make sense to me, since I figured that a good portion of what I had drunk was no longer in my body. I could hardly make it up the front stairs. He sat me on the porch when he realized the door was locked, and went around to crawl in my window, so he could open it from the inside. He stood me back up and walked me into the bathroom and put toothpaste on my toothbrush for me. "This will make you feel a little better," he said. I brushed while he watched.

"Can you handle everything else in here?"

"I think so." As long as I had something to hold onto, I thought I was okay.

"I'll wait out here." Ben closed the door.

I washed my face and went to the bathroom. Opening the door to leave, I immediately lost my balance and fell into the doorframe. Ben jumped up from the couch.

"Come on, clumsy." He reached down and put his arm behind my knees, scooping me up into his arms. I was surprised. I had never thought of Ben as strong, maybe because, to me, strength was usually measured in relation to Darry. But he held me firmly, and effortlessly carried me into my bedroom and lay me down on the bed closest the door. Since I have Soda and Pony's old room, I have two beds. I noticed that Ben must have come in and pulled down the covers when I was in the bathroom. I was just going to sleep in my clothes.

He looked down at me, then his face turned to a frown. "You're bleeding!" he said. I sat up. Where I had run into the fence there was a large scratch, and blood was dripping down the side of my leg onto my sheets.

"The fence…, " I said. "It's fine. Don't worry about it." Ben had already gone well above and beyond the call of duty.

"Where's your bandages and stuff?"

"Medicine cabinet."

He walked out and returned a moment later with peroxide and Band-aids. He poured some of the peroxide onto a washcloth and wiped it over my cut. I couldn't feel a thing. No sting whatsoever. I'm drunk, I thought, and closed my eyes to keep the room from spinning again. I felt him put a few Band-aids on my cut, pull off my shoes, and get up.

I figured he was leaving, so I opened my eyes. Instead I saw him go over to my desk and take my wastebasket. He walked out of the room and I heard the bathroom sink running. He returned and placed the wastebasket, now containing an inch or so of water, on the floor between my two beds. He obviously knew that I might not yet be finished with the aftermath of my drinking.

"Learned that from my Mom," he said.

"My Mom always did that for us when we were sick, too."

I remembered Mom sitting with me and rubbing my back one time I had the flu, getting sick into my wastebasket. I had been way too sick to make it to the bathroom. Later I had asked her about the water. "Easier to rinse out," she had told me. I prayed I wouldn't need the wastebasket tonight. And the thought of my Mom made me want to cry. I was glad she wasn't around to see this.

He sat on my bed and looked down at me.

"You need anything else?" he asked.

"I don't think so. Thanks for helping me out. Sorry I was so gross." I closed my eyes.

"You're never gross to me, Scout." He had no idea how much I appreciated him saying that. I was feeling pretty horrible; kissing a boy and then making him watch me get sick.

"Want me to stay with you?"

"No, my brothers might come home. Do you think they'll know I've been drinking?"

"Not unless they usually kiss you goodnight on the mouth," he said. I almost laughed, but felt too sick. I closed my eyes and felt warmth fill my body, as I thought about Ben and me kissing earlier.

"I guess I'll go then," he said, standing up. I thought he was going to just turn and leave but instead he crouched down beside the bed, so he was face to face with me. I opened my eyes and looked at him sideways, my head too heavy to lift off the pillow.

"Scout?"

"Yeah?" I was worried he was gonna give me a lecture about drinking, a "Next time don't make the same mistake" kind of thing. But he didn't.

"Next time you want to kiss me, you don't have to be afraid. Okay?"

My eyes closed. "Okay." I nodded sideways.

Suddenly Ben's lips were against mine, softly, and his hand was brushing my hair back out of my face. I was practically asleep. I heard him stand up.

"Sleep tight Scout," I heard him say as he departed through the same window from which I had escaped earlier. I couldn't answer. I was asleep.

________________________________

A/N: Who's still with me here? Check in, even if it's anonymously. Review! I need you, people!

Also, check out my latest one-shot, Just a Moment. (And review that, too!;-))