A/N I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or its characters. Any incorrect grammar or intense use of capital letters in this fanfiction is intended for humor only. Oh, and I'll be using the dub names in this one. In a serious fanfic, I'd use their Japanese names.
Bastion had just gotten married to Tania only 8 months ago and she was already hard to please. Then again, she was pregnant apparently.
"STOP THINKING!" the amazoness yelled, turning into a tiger and bowling Bastion over with her paw before turning back.
"But all my friends at the Duel Monsters Husbands Club are allowed to think!" Bastion complained.
"GO HUNT!" Tania turned back into her tiger form and chased him off into the woods.
"Uuuuggghhh whyyyy did I marry a tiger?" the british-if-you-are-watching-the-dub man spoke. He looked around for something to hunt, and spotted a grasshopper. "Prepare to be hunted, killed, cooked, and eaten by my overly pregnant tiger wife!" Bastion announced.
"No! Please don't eat me! I just came from the other fanfiction where Zane beat me up and grieved internally!" the grasshopper begged.
"Ah hah! You've seen my friends? How are they?" he crouched down beside the insect.
"Aster gave birth!" the grasshopper turned into a dolphin and swam in the air.
"How nice!" Bastion exclaimed, then stabbed the dolphin with a leaf, finishing it off. Bastion was so proud of himself, he cried a tear of joy, but then stared at the tear with horror. "A SIGN OF WEAKNESS!" he flicked the tear onto the ground and stomped on it fifteen times, then slapped it with the dead grasshopper-dolphin.
"Did you hear that? A tear calling for help!" Three Kuribohs came out of the bushes.
"And what do you expect to do about it you watermelons?!" Bastion called out in frustration. They suddenly morphed into three Ancient Fairy Dragons, all wearing 'Tear Appreciation Club' badges. Bastion just about peed himself. He fell down as the dragons circled him. "This wouldn't have happened if I just married a window like Aster.." Bastion cried.
"I SMELL TEARS!" human-form Tania appeared, blowing up the dragons with her laser eyes.
"Tania! You saved me!" Bastion dragged the dolphin behind him and hugged Tania. "I even caught this!" he farted in happiness.
"BASTION I HAVE THIRTY-SEVEN STOMACHS, I NEED MORE!" she yelled.
"You can eat me if you want." Bastion shrugged.
"Kk thx so much misa-poo ur the best." Tania thanked him then eatted him right away. The end.