A/N: Okay reviewers, you made me happy tonight, so here's a bonus chapter for you!

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Of course, I never fell back asleep until an hour before Darry woke me up again, so I was a complete grouch in the morning. Darry was on my case again about not eating and he went so far as to tell me I couldn't leave the table until I ate something.

"Are you kidding? I'm not a little kid, Darry!" I found myself yelling at him.

"Then stop acting like a brat, Scout," he said. "You have to eat something. I mean it. I'm not gonna have you getting sick from not eating when the whole point of me and Soda working is to put food on the table."

Guilt trip. Just what I needed.

"Well, if you're only working to feed me, then take some time off, because I am not hungry!" I couldn't remember the last time Darry and I had a fight where we yelled at each other. Soda and Pony looked on, speechless. Had it been Pony and me or Pony and Darry, nobody would have batted an eyelash, but for Darry and me to fight was pretty rare.

Eventually Two-Bit was at the door to get us and we had to go, so I picked up a pancake with my hands, took a bite out of it, slammed the rest down on my plate, grabbed my stuff, and stomped out the door. I could hear Soda trying to calm Darry down as I left.

In the car, I started to feel bad. There was no reason to be yelling at Darry- I knew he was just worried about me, but my sleeplessness and constant fear was taking it's toll on me, and my mind was acting out in ways I felt like I couldn't control.

After a particularly hard day at school, struggling all day to concentrate and stay awake, I came home and, as usual, went straight to my room, dropping off my books on Pony's bed. He was still doing all my homework. He would have done it for me over the weekend, too, if Darry hadn't got on my case about it before Pony got around to it. We hadn't talked about it, but I think he knew that I just couldn't do it right now, and we had a silent understanding that this was the best way to deal with it. I knew he didn't want Darry all over me when I was already a mess; he knew exactly what that felt like.

I was in my room lying in bed, as I did every afternoon, when I heard Darry and Soda come in. As always, there was the telltale slam of the door, and the bumps as they dropped first their shoes, then Darry's tool belt on the floor by the door. I was about to close my eyes in search of sleep again, when I was surprised to hear,

"Scout, get out here." Darry didn't sound happy. This was a voice normally reserved for Ponyboy, when he was giving him a hard time about something. I wondered if he was still mad about breakfast.

I slid out of bed and tentatively walked out toward the living room. He was standing in front of Dad's chair. I leaned against the wall just outside my doorway and looked up at him, not sure what was coming.

"Did you skip class today?"

I searched my mind to think of who could have told on me. I hadn't seen anybody. Unless somebody had seen me walking to or from the car… I had spent study hall in Two-Bit's car, not being able to deal with those Socs without Ben there. It had been his last day of suspension.

"Scout, I'm asking you a question. Did you skip?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"There are no buts, Scout. I don't want to be hearing from people that you aren't where you should be during the day. I expect you to be in school during school hours. I can't be worrying about you all day long because I don't know where you are."

"It was just a study hall, Darry. I just sat in Two-Bit's car and did my homework." I was a little mad. I knew for a fact that Pony skipped study hall regularly to go outside and smoke. I was lying about the homework, in truth I had just sat there and done nothing, but still...

"I don't care. That's not the point. I don't want you leaving school. You have a study hall- you go to it. Period!" He was yelling at me again.

"Fine, Darry," I yelled back. "Instead I'll just sit in a study hall full of obnoxious Socs and listen to them laugh at me and call me a tramp because of what happened to me. And since Ben is still suspended, I'll just sit there and take it because there's nobody to stick up for me! Will that make you happy? Who told you, anyway? Do you have the Secret Service on me now?"

Darry reached up over his head and, in that second, I saw Steve, reaching back to slug me across the face. I realized I was standing in exactly the same place where he had first hit me, when I finally realized what had been happening. Instinctively, I tensed, closing my eyes and hunching my shoulders up. Obviously, nothing happened, and I opened my eyes to see Darry scratching his head, a look half-shock and half-sadness on his face. I released my shoulders as well as my breath, which I didn't realize I had been holding.

"Did you just think I was going to hit you?" He asked, incredulous.

I shook my head no, but it was clear from my reaction that my body had been preparing for a blow.

He crouched down so he was at my eye level, something he rarely does. Our conversations generally occur with me looking up, and him looking down. Now our eyes were even. He put a hand on each shoulder and stared at me.

"Scout, I will never hit you. No matter how upset I am with you. I made that mistake one time, and it's not gonna happen again. Ever. I can't even believe you would think that. God, Scout. I just want to know where you are during the day, so I know you're safe. I can't be sure you're safe if you're wandering around outside. We still don't know who hurt you. You can't be wandering around alone." The anger had completely vanished from his voice.

I couldn't answer.

"They're calling you a tramp?"

I just stared at the floor. I had tried to go to that study hall, I really had, but I could only take so much. So I left.

"Forget it, Darry," I said. He had no idea what I was going through. He never could.

"Who called you that?"

"I don't know their names. Socs. Just forget it, anyway. Ben will be back at school tomorrow."

"Scout, I'm not saying that you have to take crap from anyone. But you can't just disappear every time something you don't like happens."

"I know." He didn't need to make me feel bad, I already knew what a coward I was.

"I didn't mean to yell at you," he said. "I'm just worried about you. You're not acting like yourself."

I'm not myself, I thought. She disappeared last weekend. Steve took her away, somewhere. He's got her hostage, now. And I'm so tired that I hardly have the energy to fight to get her back.

"I'm just gonna go lie down," I said. "I have a headache. I already did my homework." Pony had come in with my books just before Darry had come home. This time he showed me how to do the math, in case Darry asked.

"Alright," he said, looking concerned. "I'll come get you when dinner's ready.

I actually did fall asleep and, when Darry woke me for dinner, I forced down a respectable amount. I didn't want to fight with him anymore. Just because I was falling apart, there was no reason to take the rest of the family down with me, I realized. He checked my homework and I crawled right back into bed, Darry giving me a few aspirins for my "headache."

While I lay there waiting to relocate to the kitchen, I heard Darry pick up the phone in the kitchen and dial.

"Hi, Mr. Harvey? It's Darrel Curtis."

"Fine, thanks. I was wondering if I could talk to Alison."

"Sure, thanks."

There was a pause and I heard Darry tapping something against the counter. He does that when he's thinking hard.

"Hey, Alison." He sounded so glad to hear her voice that I almost smiled. We hadn't been to Angelo's the previous week, Darry'd had a late job on Thursday.

"No, not really, just, well, yeah, actually. It's Scout."

"Well, I told you how she had that nightmare, in my parents' room? Well, she had another one, last night. We found her on the floor in the kitchen, screaming and crying again." I was horrified that Darry was telling her this.

"Plus, she's not eating, she just lies in bed all the time when she's home. And she's fighting with me. She's never been one to fight with me. Christ, she actually thought I was going to hit her today."

I felt so stupid. Listening to Darry list all of these things made me realize what a bad job I had been doing of pretending I was okay. I was going to have to take it up a notch.

"I don't know, she says she doesn't want to talk about it. She won't talk to me anyway. Has she talked to Anna at all?" I had told Anna the first time I saw her that I didn't want to discuss it, and it hadn't come up again since. I think she knew better than to tread in territory where there was so much danger of saying the wrong thing.

"I just don't know what to do for her, Ali. She's falling apart, right in front of me, and I don't know how to help her." He sounded despondent.

I tuned in and out of the rest of their conversation, thinking about ways I could try to get back closer to normal, closer to the person I had been, and farther away from who I now was. Who I was now was just upsetting everybody. I was still thinking when I finally heard Darry hang up and head off to bed.

I thought about it all night long, counting the whistles and watching the mice. Just as the sun came up I got an idea.

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A/N: Aw, I know it. That's just plain mean.

Shepard fans: Stay tuned.

Please review. Are you getting it now? You review-I update. ;-)