I can't say I slept great after getting the knife- it still took forever to fall asleep, and I woke up at the crack of dawn every day, but I was getting at least a few good solid hours in between, which at least allowed me to stay awake in class. I fell asleep and awoke each day with my hand around the knife, and somehow had weaned myself away from my mornings of awakening entombed in my sheets. I was ready all night to leap into action, if I had to.

Thursday night we went to Angelo's, and things almost felt normal for a while. Alison came and sat with us, and she and Darry were more affectionate with each other than I had ever seen them. I saw how being around her relaxed him. He needs her, I realized, even more than before, because I am doing nothing but making him stressed. I was so glad they had found each other. Darry deserved something good and easy in his life. The only time I had ever heard them argue, it had been about me, and I was determined to put an end to that.

I sat with Anna, who prodded me for information about how things were going with Ben. Me giving nothing up just about made her crazy. I just didn't want to share Ben with her, in that sense. I was glad to have Anna as a friend, but things between Ben and me I wanted to keep just between the two of us.

Eating like they hadn't been fed in days, Soda and Pony argued about something to do with engine cylinders and speed, Pony knowing the physics of the problem, and Soda knowing the mechanics… for a short time, I was able to put my fear to the back of my mind. This was just my family, interacting the way we always had. Things felt almost normal. We had taken Soda's now-road ready car, so driving home, nobody had to sit outside, and I fell asleep for a few minutes leaning against Pony. I had learned to welcome sleep, no matter how little, when I could get it.

We got home later than usual, and Darry and I headed into the house while Soda and Pony looked under the hood to make an adjustment to something that had been making a noise that Soda didn't quite like.

Darry flipped on the light and I froze. Two-Bit was lying on the couch, obviously hurt.

"Darry!" I called, running over to him.

Darry joined me, kneeling beside him. He shook him roughly.

"Don't, Darry," I said, "he's hurt. Two-Bit?" I called, putting my hand on his cheek, where there was blood drying from a cut just under his ear. Darry yelled at Soda and Pony to get into the house and they must have heard something in his voice, as they burst through the door a second later.

"Hey, Two-Bit," I called, louder. His eyes opened and slowly focused.

"Hey Scooter," he said softly. I could smell beer on his breath.

"What happened?" Darry asked. "Who did it?"

He looked confused for a minute and his eyes started to close again.

"Two-Bit!" Darry tapped him on his cheek. "C'mon, wake up!"

He opened his eyes again and Darry got in his face.

"Who, Two-Bit? Who messed you up?" He looked confused again, for a moment, and then something akin to anger crossed his face as he remembered.

"Those guys, the ones that scared Scout," he started. "I ran into them down at the Dingo tonight. I asked them what that was all about, comin' round here, scarin' a kid. They wanted to go outside for a talk… turns out they didn't really wanna talk."

He struggled to sit up, finally succeeding and leaning back against the couch. Soda came in with a wet towel and started wiping off his face, while Darry checked to see how bad his cuts really were.

"So was it them, Two-Bit? That hurt Scout?"

"They acted like they didn't know nothin' about that. They didn't even know who I was talkin' about, when I said Scout, not 'til I said Curtis."

He flinched as Soda wiped a cut on his forehead.

"It was you they were after, Darry," he said.

"Me? Why?" Darry sounded shocked.

"Somethin' about your work, I dunno. You takin' jobs from their friend or somethin'." Darry was silent, and I could see him thinking, processing who might be out to get him.

"How many of them?"

"Four. Five, maybe." Two-Bit was rubbing his head, where a bruise was forming on his temple. That was exactly where Steve had hit me to knock me out.

"You were alone?" he asked. I knew that if they had gone after Two-Bit when he was alone, that wasn't considered a fair fight and he would be rounding up people to exact revenge. This was really the last thing I needed to think about.

"Just me, yup. I did pretty good, considering, don'cha think?" Two-Bit was perking back up, now.

"Well, I don't think you need any stitches, anyway," Darry said. I could see him thinking again, planning.

"Call your mother, Two-Bit, tell her you're stayin' here. She doesn't need to see you like this tonight, save it 'til the morning."

Soda passed him the phone and he did as he was told. Darry went into the kitchen, and I followed after him. He was clearly agitated.

"Are you gonna go after them, Darry?" I asked.

He didn't turn around, he just started putting dishes away out of the dishrack.

"It's nothing you have to worry about, Scout."

"Yeah, Darry, it is," I countered. "You going out and getting hurt in a fight definitely is something I have to worry about." On top of all the other things I'm already worrying about, I thought.

"Look, I said I'll handle it. It will be fine," he said, but I felt my own tension building. Nothing to worry about? Was he kidding me?

Just then, there was a knock at the front door and someone came in. Darry walked back out to the living room. I stood in the doorway to see Tim coming in.

"What the hell is this all about, Mathews? Curly said some guys worked you over outside the dingo? I just told you last week to watch your fuckin' back."

"Yeah, tell him thanks for the help, by the way," Two-Bit offered, sarcastically.

"Curly knows enough not to get involved in any o'that kinda action without my permission," Tim said.

I had to admit, I was pretty glad to see Tim. Maybe this meant Darry wouldn't have to get involved. Not that I wanted Tim getting beat up, either, especially considering all of the help he had been to me lately, but, given the chance, I would obviously choose to keep Darry safe.

"So was it them, that hurt the kid?" he asked Two-Bit, bluntly.

"I don't think so, Tim. They admitted comin' over here scarin' her, and all that, but they really didn't seem to know anything about her getting hurt. They were out for Superman, here," he elbowed Darry. Somethin' about him undercuttin' on prices, takin' jobs their buddies used to get."

That made sense. I knew that Darry could do the work of two men in half the time- it made sense that people might be hiring him over slower, less conscientious workers. Why would you hire two guys if you could hire just one?

"So who's comin' with me to look these guys up?" Tim asked.

I knew Soda was gonna be all over that. He was immediately energized. I couldn't fathom that, getting all excited to go get your head beat in. But Soda loved a fight.

Two-Bit, despite his state, was not planning to miss out on the fun either.

Ponyboy wanted in, too, but Darry put the kibosh on those plans before they even finished forming in Pony's mind.

"Forget it, Pony," he said. "No way. We just got you out of trouble, and you're stayin' out."

"Darry…" Pony started, and Darry gave him a look that would have silenced jut about anyone.

"I'll round up a few of my boys and we'll even things up," Tim said.

"I'm sorry, Tim," Darry said… "it's just, with us just finishin' up with court and all, I can't risk it. I don't think they'll be willin' to wipe the Curtis family slate clean too many more times."

I was enormously relieved. Darry wasn't going either. Now it was just Soda I had to worry about.

"I understand," Tim said, and he looked like he really did.

He glanced over at me in the doorway.

"Hey kid," he said, "How you doin'?" His tone didn't even hint at the fact that I had just spent the afternoon with him at Bucks two days prior.

"Okay," I said. I was more okay than the last time I had seen him, anyway. At least I had caught a few hours of sleep the previous night.

"Scout, you get in your room and start on homework," Darry said, noticing that I was there. I gave him a look and he added, "You too, Pony."

Pony actually dared argue; I figured I might as well just go. I was going to have to actually do it myself, since I hadn't been home to pass it off to Ponyboy before we went to Angelo's. I shuffled off to my room, did my English and History, and begrudgingly started on my math. The rest I could handle- it hadn't mattered that I hadn't done my own work in any of those subjects, but in math I was definitely falling behind.

It was pretty much a repeat of the night before- I had no idea how to do it. I hadn't heard a word in class. I decided it was pretty dumb to fake answers only to have Darry make me redo them again, so I swallowed my pride and went out to the living room. Darry was sitting in front of the television, though he was clearly not watching it. I knew he was worried about Soda.

"Darry?" He looked up, startled.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I need help with my math again," I said, coming over to sit next to him on the couch. He took the book out of my hands to see what I was supposed to be doing, and a bunch of papers that had been shoved inside the back cover fell out. Unfortunately, right on top was a test that had been returned to me that day, on which I had gotten exactly half of the answers right. A fifty. I had never gotten a fifty on anything before in my life.

He picked it up and looked at it, not saying anything.

"I guess I just didn't get it," I said, staring at the couch.

"Scout, this is what I went over with you a few nights a go. You got it then." He didn't really sound mad, but certainly not pleased, either.

"I guess I forgot," I said. I hated disappointing him like this. I had never done poorly in school, or needed any help with schoolwork.

Darry closed the book, and I could feel him getting ready to say something.

"Scout, you are way too smart to be getting a fifty on a test when you know the material. I've checked your homework, I know you can do this. What is going on?"

I just shrugged, feeling like I wanted to cry. Nothing's going on, Darry, except that I am completely falling apart, I thought.

He took a moment and I could practically hear it when he figured it out, the lightbulb going on in his head.

"You haven't been doing the homework, have you?" he asked.

I didn't respond. I didn't want Pony getting in trouble over this.

"Scout, don't lie to me," he said.

"Pony did it for me," I said. "but only because I made him."

"Nice try. I know better than anyone that it is next to impossible to make Ponyboy do anything." I supposed that was the truth.

"Look, no more, okay? I will help you as much as you need, but your brother's not doing your work for you. You need to learn how to do it."

"Okay," I agreed, quietly. It hadn't been fair to Pony, anyway, doing twice the homework. "Just don't get mad at him, okay? He was trying to help. I just couldn't concentrate on it."

Darry took a breath. "Scout, Alison said that, maybe….do you need to talk to someone, about what happened to you? Do you want to see… a doctor, or something? To talk about it?"

"No. I don't want to talk about it, Darry. I don't," I said. "We can't afford a doctor anyway."

"That's not what I asked," Darry said, putting his hand on my shoulder and rubbing. "The money- that's for me to worry about, not you. I just want you to get what you need. You're not yourself, and I don't like it."

"I'm fine, Darry," I lied. "I'm just a little tired. I haven't been sleeping very well."

He looked down at me, and it was clear he wasn't buying it, but he was letting it go, for now. He put the papers back into the book and started going over the assignment with me.

Just as we finished, Soda burst through the door, Steve in tow. I slid over so I was right up against Darry.

"We found 'em," Soda said. He was giddy.

"They ain't gonna bother you no more," Steve said. I made sure not to look at him, afraid that I would see that terrible look in his eyes again.

Two-Bit came in behind them, looking no better, but no worse, than he had when he left. He crashed immediately into Dad's chair. I took a good look at Soda and saw that he had a bruise on his cheek, but looked otherwise okay. I knew that there was no way that Darry could have kept him home- a fight, to Soda, was fun and excitement- two things that he hadn't had a whole lot of lately. He actually seemed happy, for the moment.

It was already much later than Darry usually let me stay up on a school night; Soda being out must have made him forget about making me go to bed. And Soda coming home made him remember.

"Scout, bedtime," he slapped me on the knee. He handed me my math book and I went back to my room, knowing there was no chance at all for sleep until I knew that Steve had left the house. Finally, as I lay in bed, I heard him leave, bidding farewell to Two-Bit, who I was kind of glad would be spending the night on the couch. One more barrier between me and Steve, I thought.

I finally fell asleep just before one, my hand curled around my knife.