Chapter 16

Eiji was chattering brightly in class as they waited for the teacher to come in and start the class. School was almost coming to an end, and Ryuzaki-sensei had dropped a few hints about a training session with several other schools. It went without saying that the regulars were excited about this. Eiji's current topic was the training session. "I wonder who else will be there, nya?" he asked excitedly, his indigo eyes glowing.

Fuji offered a soft smile. "Most of the really strong players will be there, ne?" he answered with a question of his own. "Maa… I want to play against so many people!" He let out a happy sigh, and planted his chin in his hands. These past few days Fuji had seemed happy enough, although underneath his content façade he was a churning, scheming mess. Oh… Oshitari was going to pay. He would make sure of it. Eiji laughed at his friend's comment and would have said something else, except the door to the classroom flew open. Thinking that it was the teacher, the two boys instantly sat up straight in their seats until they realized that it was simply Miho who had popped into there classroom.

Eiji already bright expression brightened up some more. "Hoi, hoi, Miho-chan!" he called happily, waving to the girl. "What are you doing here, nya?" he asked cheerfully, bouncing up to the doorway. Fuji followed at a slower pace.

Miho glanced around the classroom with a worried expression on her face. "Have you two seen Asa-chan?" she asked. "I've been trying to find her for a while now… did you walk with her today, Fuji-kun?"

"Ah… I did… wait a minute; did you use 'kun'?" Fuji looked curiously at Miho's face, but the girl was already storming out of the classroom and into the hall, muttering darkly under her breath. Fuji and Eiji exchanged amused glances as Miho stomped down the halls, saying things like 'that idiot!' and 'honestly, where could you possibly be in this school?' Fuji chuckled lightly as the two boys walked down the hallways. "I never knew Seigaku was so large that it would become almost impossible to find a single person," he said lightly. Eiji nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

By now they had made it to the bottom of the stairs that led to the door to the roof. A trio of freshmen girls was clustered at the base of the stairs, whispering nervously among themselves. Miho gave them a curious glance, and Fuji stepped forward. "What are you standing here for?" he asked kindly. "Classes start soon, ne?"

They glanced up from their whispers. "Ah… senpai-tachi!" one of them exclaimed. "It probably doesn't mean much to senpai-tachi… but one of our friends stormed up to the roof recently. She was threatening some things, and we were worried and were currently wondering how we should all get her back to class."

"Oh…" Miho muttered. "Did anyone else come along?"

The freshman nodded. "Hai. Another senpai…"

Eiji nudged his friends. "It might be Aa-chan, nya!" he hissed, looking excited again. The words had scarcely left his mouth before they realized that Miho was already bounding up the stairs. "Miho-chan!" they called after her as she reached up for the handle.

Miho yanked on the piece of metal with a vengeance, and the door swung outwards with a bang. Cold rain, aided by a strong wind, lashed at her face as she did so.

"Aa-chan…?"

***

Asa's favorite place in the whole area that Seishen Academy was located on was the roof. On sunny days it was the best place to sit and relax with her bento and a book (preferably not Chemistry or anything else academically related), as it was easily one of the warmest and peaceful places on the whole complex. This morning, however, it wasn't sunny and it definitely wasn't peaceful.

It looks like I stumbled on a freshman, she noted as she shut the door behind her, narrowing her eyes slightly as the wind lashed droplets of water into them. And in the middle of a rant of some sort, no less… The freshman had whirled around to glare at her upon her entrance onto the roof, and although she couldn't quite tell which were tears and which were rain drops, somehow she just got the feeling that her underclassman was crying.

"Gomen… did I disturb you?" she asked sweetly. The wind tore hungrily at her words as they left her mouth, and she reached up with one hand in a vain attempt to still her bangs, as they were flying into her eyes and when coupled with the rain, it was rather annoying.

Not to mention somewhat itchy…

"Eh… iie, senpai. I was just…" The other girl looked flustered, and glanced at her shoes. Asa wondered how long she had been out here; it was easily seen that she was soaked to the skin.

"You and I aren't much different, then, are we, if we both choose this place when there is such weather outside, ne?" she asked, crossing from the doorway to the mesh fence. She leaned against it, feeling the cold metal against her hand and watching the raindrops form rivers of water on her arm. "If you wanted to get something off your chest, then by all means, don't let me interrupt you," she offered, turning and giving the younger girl a smile. Her fingers laced into the openings of the fence as she relaxed her body against the support.

"Senpai will think that I'm stupid… yelling about random things in the middle of a rainstorm…"

Asa sighed, giving a little tip of her head to the side. "Maa… you beat me to it, then," she said with mock dejection.

The other girl looked surprised at her statement, and so could only say dumbly, "Excuse me, Senpai…?"

"I wanted to do that… that's why I came up here in the first place. And what were you yelling about?"

The younger girl was taken aback by her bluntness, and so took her time answering. "Well…" she muttered, before taking a big breath. "It's stupid. I don't see why I have to get it." She shivered, and Asa had a feeling it wasn't from the cold. "Everyone will think I'm a freak or something if they know about this secret of mine, and nobody wants to be friends with a freak. But it feels so weird… trying to pretend to be something I'm not around the people who are supposed to be my friends." She trailed off, and glanced up tentatively at the older girl. "And Senpai?" she ventured hesitantly "What were you up here for?"

Asa leaned comfortably against the fencing, closing her eyes as she did so. "Same thing, I suppose," she said breezily. "Only, in my case, it's more like my secret is out there for everyone to see." She chuckled dryly. "Or, let me rephrase that. It's out there for everyone to see if they take the time to. Yes… that's it."

She rubbed the back of her head with a hand and frowned slightly, opening her eyes. "Every time I convince myself that I will show all the people I care about the real me, even if only for a few minutes, I chicken out and don't do it. I just pull out another guise. No matter where I turn, it seems all I'm doing is lying to everyone." She sighed, turning her head so that her other cheek could feel the rain against it. "Maybe I'm afraid that I'll get hurt if I let all of my masks go. I don't like it when people get too close to me. We both end up hurt someway or another."

She sighed again and gave a faint grumble under her breath. "It was fine until I came to Tokyo, too… Tokyo guys are so persistent and stubborn." A ghost of a smile was on her face before she wiped it away and pushed off the fencing. "I won't ask what your secret is, and I won't bore you with my own endless ramblings. It must be boring, ne, listening to my self-pity and reflection sessions? Or would you call it soul searching?"

The freshman shook her head. "Iie… senpai sounds a lot like myself."

Asa frowned. "Really? I shouldn't be sounding like you."

"No…! That's not what I meant… I mean…"

The older girl shook her head. "I think I know what you mean, but still, you really shouldn't be anything like me." She stared into the empty space in front of her. "Oblivion… it is my current mask's main strength. By being oblivious, maybe some people will give up trying to establish any kind of close relationship or friendship. If you don't have ties that are too incredibly strong, it won't matter that much if the thing you were weakly attached to is destroyed."

But that mask failed.

"Then… there's a mask where I pretend to be so very much stronger than I really am, put on whenever I'm in the hospitals or somewhere where I feel insecure. When the doctor's ask 'Does it hurt?' there really isn't much you can do to truly answer that question. The most perhaps is to say that it does, and then take the painkiller that they give you. But these days, none of them seem to be that effective anymore."

I guess that's what I get for taking too many medications.

"The pain just goes on and on, and then you feel so tired. Those who weren't deterred by the oblivious state you tried to put up and maintain start noticing, and they start to worry. And when you only wish to be by yourself, alone, and they try to help you… you end up hurting them by pushing them away or something of the like, even if it's for their own good and you're trying to teach them something."

I'm sorry, Fuji-kun.

"Sometimes I just want to curl up in a dark corner and just forget the world. Maybe if I do that, everything that hurts will go away."

"Does Senpai say that she wishes to die, but doesn't because she will end up hurting all of the people she knows?"

Asa laughed softly. "Ah… I wish. The truth is… I am a coward. If not for them, then it's for myself that I stay."

I want to stay here, because life is truly wonderful at times. I don't want to say 'good-bye' to anything.

I don't want to say 'sayonara,' ever.

"I am a selfish brat. A broken, selfish brat."

Her hands clenched into fists at her side. There; she had said all that she had ever wanted to say. It was a pity that she had no paper and pencil to record it and then stick on her wall for future reference.

"So you see, don't you? You shouldn't be sounding like me."

Her chest ached. It felt like her heart was suddenly jumping way harder than it should be as it pounded against her ribcage. Dimly, she could hear the confused freshman asking her if she was alright, though she didn't answer the other. I should probably get out of the rain, shouldn't I? It's not good to get sick…

She let out a soft sigh and sat down on the bench. It was really quiet… even though the rain still pounded down. The heavens were crying. What for, she wondered?

"Idiot," someone muttered in her ear, and she was pulled off of the bench into something warmer. "You should have said all that sooner."

Should I have? The pain escalated and she concentrated on her breathing, slow and labored as it was. Instinctively, she snuggled closer to the unknown source of warmth that was surrounding her. She felt safe; it was such a wonderful feeling.

She let out a happy little sigh and let her world black out.

***

The hospital was not a place that Fuji particularly liked to be. His gaze bordered suspicious when he, Eiji, Miho, and Oshitari (the last being forcibly dragged along by his sister) stepped into the lobby. School had ended, and because of the weather, after school tennis practice had been cancelled. Fuji seized the chance to drag along his friends to the hospital, and they had met Oshitari at the gate, as it seemed that even Hyotei had been rained out of their afternoon practices. Although, truth be told, Fuji would rather that Oshitari played in the rain and then slip and hurt himself. "We're here to see Ijuuin-chan," Fuji said to the nurse who manned the front desk, offering her a sweet and innocent smile.

The nurse gave him her own smile as she looked up from the papers before her, before pointing to the door on the left side of the lobby. "She's in room 207. Go through that door, and take the stairs to the second floor. It's the fourth door to your left." He thanked her and ushered his companions through the doorway, the nurse looking after them as the door swung gently shut. "Such sweet children," she sighed happily before returning to her paperwork.

"Hoi, hoi!" Eiji burst through the door to room 207 with a brilliant smile upon his face. "Guess who came to visit, Aa-chan!" he said brightly. Miho tugged on his arm to get him to quiet down, but the boy was too excited that he was only able to do so for a few moments. "We were so worried about you, nya! You're feeling better now, right?" He gave the girl on the bed a scrutinizing glance before plopping himself down on a chair besides the table at its side.

"Ah… much better. Thank you very much, Eiji-kun." Asides from being a little pale and looking rather tired, Asa looked quite healthy. "Thanks for visiting, minna-san." She gave them a smile, although it looked rather sad in their eyes, almost remorseful.

The walls of her room were white, and above the bed was a painting of water lilies to offer some color in the otherwise plain room. A set of French doors opened out onto a small balcony, overlooking the hospital garden. It was good sometimes to have a room with a window to the interior of the hospital complex. On the table was a vase, empty currently, but Miho took care of that by putting in a small bouquet of azaleas. "We would have come sooner," Miho apologized, "except we had trouble deciding what kind of flowers we wanted to get." 'We' being Eiji and Miho who had trouble deciding the flowers.

Oshitari pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. "They argue like a married couple," he muttered drily.

"Nii-san!"

Fuji chuckled lightly at brother and sister before he frowned, leaning a shoulder against the wall, his arms folded over his chest. "An explanation, please," he said bluntly. The rest of the people in the hospital room stared at him, not comprehending what he was asking. "I'd like to clear up a few things with you, Aa-chan, about what you said on the roof. In the rain. When you were being stupid and totally inconsiderate about your health."

She made a face at him when he attacked her about being inconsiderate about her health, but then collected her composure about her. "Why?" she asked shortly, staring up at him from her spot on the bed. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough to become worried and faintly disturbed."

She didn't answer immediately, and as Fuji waited, Oshitari stepped forward, taking off his glasses. "Allow me to explain, then, would you, Ijuuin-chan?" he asked rather formally. A small nod and he set his glasses on the table. "Allow me to ask one thing first, though, Fuji. You haven't broken yet, have you?"

Fuji gave him a puzzled look. "Broken?" he repeated. "No, I'm rather whole, thank you."

Oshitari shook his head. "Is that so? Looks like we failed, ne, Ijuuin-chan?" Fuji bristled at the remark and gave the other boy an angry glare. Oshitari simply motioned for Eiji to get off the chair he had occupied until jus recently, and Fuji was led to it and made to sit down. "Hear me out. There is actually a logical explanation for everything," he said, slowly and seriously, as if talking to a small child and not to a boy his own age.

"She never wanted you to like her. She never wanted anyone to like her that way."

***

'Are you alright? You've been missing rather easy shots and seem preoccupied as of late.' Oshitari paused the tennis lesson and glanced curiously over at his pupil. The girl's grip on the racket was slipping, he noticed, and she spaced out when she was supposed to be watching the ball. "Get a drink," he offered, motioning to the bench. "Is something bothering you?"

'A lot of things are bothering me,' Asa grumbled, sitting down on the bench and cradling her water bottle between her hands. Her racket sat on her lap and she fiddled with the strings for a moment. She chanced a glance at the boy sitting besides her and heaved a sigh, pondering silently as she did so. 'I suppose the gist of my problem is you and Fuji-kun.'

Oshitari raised an eyebrow curiously as he was mentioned. 'Oh?' he asked, the corner of his lip quirking upwards into a smirk. 'And how do I help contribute to your problems?'

'You seem to be always egging Fuji-kun when you're trying to vex him.' Oshitari gave a small shake of his head; wasn't that basically the explanation of vexing in the first place? 'And by doing so, Fuji-kun just keeps digging a hole around himself. It will get to a point where he won't be able to get himself out of it one day if it keeps going on like this.'

'And your point is…?'

Asa would never know what made her spill out all of her troubles in the end to the Hyotei genius. Maybe it was his patience and the calm air he held around him. Or perhaps it was the look in his eyes, the one that said that she could say anything and he wouldn't say it to anyone else. Whatever the reason, she said it all. The condition of her heart, the surgery, her relationships with friends, everything was poured out.

She felt like an idiot when she had finished, having rambled for so long.

'You want Fuji to find another girl?' Oshitari asked, fingering his own water bottle as he spoke.

'Yeah. Another girl won't hold him down like I would. Truth be told, I never wanted his affection in the first place. While I am touched because he is exceptionally kind to me, I just feel like he should give up and find someone else.' Asa sighed moodily. 'Mattaku,' she grumbled, 'Tokyo guys are so stubborn.'

He chuckled at her comment. 'Indeed, they are, and the guys at Seigaku are the most stubborn of them all.' Everyone on a tennis team knew the way each and every one of the Seigaku regulars were incredibly persistent. It made them strong opponents indeed. "So, what are you going to do about it?' he asked, genuinely curious to see how she wanted to go about solving her problems with a particularly stubborn Fuji.

'Well… I was hoping you could help me a bit with that.'

***

"It actually took us a while to come up with that Rokkaku plan, although honestly, we didn't expect her to be late from her doctor's appointment," Oshitari said, giving a few faint nods of his head.

Miho glanced from brother to friend. "So that scene at the burger shop… it was fake?"

"Hai. It was a fake; a rather genius work of fabrication if I should say so myself." Their gazes snapped over to Asa, and Miho made a face at her. Why did she sound so much like Fuji at that moment? "Besides, Fuji-kun has plenty of fans who would die for the chance to be with him. Wouldn't it be better to be with someone that actually likes your affection, then to be with someone that doesn't quite?"

Fuji took all this in silently, and then laughed, much to Asa's and Oshitari's annoyance. "Maa… I've been toyed with," he said, snickering as he did so. "Those were the funny feelings I've been getting on and off these past few months, ne?" He stopped laughing and adopted a more serious expression. "But, honestly, Aa-chan… wouldn't it have been better if you just went out and said all that? And here I was worrying for nothing…"

He gave another soft chuckle before turning to Oshitari. "I can see why you wanted me to break, now," he said softly, "Although I would have preferred it if you had gone by a different approach."

"You're too stubborn for your own good. That was the most direct way we could do it," Oshitari retorted.

"Oh? Perhaps you're right…" Fuji trailed off and looked thoughtful. "But I have logical reasons of my own when I ask myself why I like Aa-chan," he said, sweetly and seriously. "Aa-chan's real smiles are rare, but they are so much sweeter then her fake ones, even though they always seem to be somewhat sad." Here, Eiji and Miho glanced at each other with knowing looks in their eyes. It was almost like Fuji was talking about himself. "But… it's kind of sad when she doesn't show it to anyone, or only shows it rarely. That's why I want to be with her, because I want to see when she smiles and is genuinely happy."

He fell silent, and then said softly, "If I can't help her take some of the pain away, then I'd still try to help by being besides her. It's better than being alone, ne?" He glanced up at the rest of them before returning his gaze to his folded hands in his lap.

"Now's the perfect time to go 'chu'!" Eiji chided. Fuji almost toppled off of his chair at his friend's volume and the suddenness of his voice.

"Go 'chu'?" he echoed, faintly ruffled. "I'm not a train, Eiji."

Eiji shook his head rapidly from side to side. "That's 'choo', not 'chu'," he explained patiently.

"There's a difference?"

Eiji gave him an impatient look and then proceeded to give a demonstration with his hands. His middle finger and his thumb connected until they formed a sort of head, and then he brought them together. "This 'chu', Fujiko!" he explained.

Fuji's eyes opened with a devilish glint in them. He understood now, but decided to feign ignorance. He wanted to test out something first. "I'm not quite sure I follow you, Eiji," he said in a sugar-coated voice. Eiji gulped nervously, but remained calm. He was quite proud of himself. "Would you like to show me exactly what this 'chu' is?"

"Eh?! On Fujiko?!" Eiji looked extremely flushed and embarrassed, his face looking impressively like a tomato.

Fuji shook his head, smiling. "No, no, no… not on me," he said lightly. "Show me on someone else." He gave a pointed glance at Miho, but it could have been interpreted as being Oshitari, since the other boy was standing right besides his sister. Eiji's face got even redder and he stuttered all the harder.

Oshitari smirked in an almost demonic manner, picking up on the other prodigy's antics. "Yes, show us this 'chu' of yours, Kikumaru," he drawled. "Although you'd best do it on Miho, because if you do it on Ijuuin-chan Fuji might be liable of hurting you."

"Uh…"

"Saa… Eiji," Fuji teased, "you wouldn't be so cruel as to leave your dear best friend in the dark, would you?" Behind the two prodigies, Asa and Miho exchanged glances that were a mix of curiosity and nervousness.

"Fine!" Eiji finally exploded, looking sulky. "I'll show you!" And, so saying, he spun around and grasped Miho by the shoulders. The girl's eyes widened in surprise as Eiji covered her mouth with his own. Oshitari and Fuji almost lost their cools, snickering and trying to mask their snickers into coughs.

They failed.

"Thank you, Eiji!" Fuji said brightly. "Now I know exactly what this 'chu' of yours is! You are really good at demonstrations." The honey-haired tensai applauded his friend as Eiji pulled away from a blushing Miho.

Asa shook her head, muttering under her breath. She should have known something like that would happen. The bed she was sitting on shifted slightly as Fuji leaned over to her. "Saa… is it our turn, then?" he asked amiably. She shook her head furiously, disagreeing. "If it makes you feel better, we could turn off the lights." Fuji continued to tease, and Asa continued to refuse. Oshitari gave Miho a small nod, and his sister flipped the light switch. The hospital room was plunged into darkness, save for the small amount of light that entered through the windows in the French door, as it was covered with a white curtain.

"Feel better, now?" Fuji asked softly, his breath against Asa's ear. Asa contemplated pushing him off his chair and turning the lights back on, even if it meant disobeying the doctor's orders and getting out of bed (she had a rather pushy doctor...). She did not like the idea of Fuji and the dark.

Not in the least.

He almost seemed to read her mind, because she felt his lips on hers in the next moment. "Too late," he said gently when he pulled away one kiss later. "One day, I hope to go deeper," he teased. She glared in his general direction before they heard a crash.

"Eiji-kun! Did you just knock over the flowers?" Miho's exasperated voice suddenly popped out of the dark. There followed a mumbling from Oshitari, and then Eiji's little whine.

"I missed, I missed! Oh, the horror!"

Asa coughed softly. "Please turn the lights back on, Fuji-kun." She didn't want to even begin thinking about what Eiji missed.

"Call my name and I'll do it."

"Eh? But it was Fuji-kun… wasn't it?"

Fuji almost gave his own exasperated sigh. "Not that name, Aa-chan. Call my given name."

"Absolutely not."

"Then the lights stay off."

There was a moment of silence before a sigh of defeat came to Fuji's keen ears. "Fine," Asa grumbled. "Please turn on the lights… Fu—I mean Syu—" I can't do this, she wailed inwardly. But Fuji was waiting, and he was physically blocking the only way off the bed, so she had to do it.

"Syusuke," she whispered.

"Louder."

He sounds like a king, she grumbled to herself. "Please turn the lights back on, Syusuke," she said louder.

Why was she not in the least bit surprised when he simply snuggled closer to her and made absolutely no move to turn the lights back on? In the other corner of the room, seated calmly in a chair, Oshitari snickered to himself. Ah… another job well done. Killing two birds with one stone gave such a satisfying feeling. Not only that, but this would make vexing Fuji so much more fun and enjoyable.

Tokyo guys truly were very stubborn. And he was quite proud to say that he was one of those guys.

A/N: Rather un-climatic, isn't it? And the sad thing is... this took me three times to write. I'm pathetic.

And the last part with the names just cracked me up. Another token of my patheticness.

Please read and review! They're loved.

Happy belated bnirthday, Fuji! ^__^