I do not own SAO, if I did then I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. Even if I did I would have had Kirito and pals, escaping from the death game be the finale of season one, not the end of episode bloody 14 in a 25 episode series. Also I wouldn't have the second season suck and most of the rest of season one wouldn't have happened either, except maybe episode 20 and 22.

The main character of this fanfiction will be an OC, if you want an OC ether review or PM me, if you do not like OCs then leave and maybe give me your reason, (And I swear to God if your reason is that the actual characters are more interesting, and if the example you give me was Kirito or Asuna I will be very displeased)

EDIT: just added a few lines and some more detailed descriptions for some of the equipment.

"My name is Deathtroll" - regular speech

And I'm sorry for not updating as much – thoughts

[Congrats] - System Message

"In hindsight, I should have read the Terms and Conditions, but ... gamers are guaranteed not to read those, y'know" - Ostrava

The Start of a Death game

This is a sticky situation, and can only get worse if I don't do something quickly, it was 17:59, about an hour ago and I was level grinding my [One Handed Lance] skill, because apparently in terms of party format, the lancer has the best position of them all due to the large reach of the weapon, but I guess I'm going too fast, so I should probably go back to where most good stories start, the start:

What this sticky situation is, the situation is what would seem like heaven to gamers everywhere, the world's first VRMMORPG, Sword Art Online, utilizing the [NERVE Gear] this MMO fully immersed the gamer in the world of Aincrad by inspecting their brain signals and using that to control their character, officially meaning that gamers would no longer have to worry about things like personal hygiene, or hunger or anything like that or you know even bloody social contact and they could create their own bodies allowing them to do … less than decent things with female characters, and it would also be a really good way for them to get their first kiss, which was harder than it sounded and I can provide personal testimony to support that fact.

What made SAO even more unique on the MMO market, aside from being the only thing that could possibly have something even resembling serious competition to WOW, was that it had no magic, something which I only learned, much to my annoyance as I had to then change the character to fit a different image when I was creating my character, I was originally going for a sort of young mage thing. So anyway, after making my character, about male avatar who I decided, for a laugh, was an old bugger, I decided to do some level grinding, but anyway the character doesn't matter because as it was announced that when we die in the game, we die in real life, something which I had a hard time wrapping my head around considering that something like microwave waves that can kill you would have been picked up by R&D at some point and even then it would have been a nightmare for PR, another thing was changed, thanks to a 'gift' from the creator of the game, a man whose name I can't remember, everyone's avatar was changed from their own characters which they may of spent ether hours or minutes creating, they were changed to what they really looked like in real life, in an even that would be known as [The Great Sex Change], changing the gender ratio form 1:2, to 4:1 with males being the four and females being the one, and also finally proving that there are girls on the internet at the same time. Though in terms of beauty, about 1% of fuck all changed for me, in terms of age, I just looked a lot younger and slightly less imposing. I was playing as a tall bugger with a bunch of scars for the record, though to my disappointment, I couldn't get a Harold Penisman scar.

So anyway I was in the Town of Beginnings sitting down on a bench away from the plaza taking stock of things, I had around 1025 Col. the in game currency, my starter armour Which was a tad bit on the shit side, my spear which was slightly damaged. I was level three and I had about five levels in my [lance] skill. I had moved away from the main plaza, because people were screaming in terror even though for a lot of the people here, it was the best thing that can happen to them, the only downside was that those blokes who played as girls to receive help from other players were found out and I didn't even have to ask them any questions. Some people were jumping in an attempt to escape, and this brings me to something which is mildly important, actually two things that are important, one, is that we cannot escape from this game because the log out option was removed, two, if anyone in the real world removes the [NERVE gear] from our heads or our HP in the game reaches zero, the NERVE gear will release a microwave signal into our brain and kill us, which leads me to another thing, 213 of the original 100,000 players on the server have already died. That essentially means ether their families wanted to get them to go to dinner really bad, or they were complete and utter noobs who deserve what they got for dying to a goddamn [Frenzy Boar].

Well anyway, from what I heard from the beta test, something that I followed in all my spare moments away from work aside form that the resources are limited and the game designers understanding of how an economy works is sub-par at best and also there is a village about five hours walk away from here, which sounds like a good idea, so shouldering my spear, I went to an NPC store and bought five small healing potions, five bread rolls and a wooden round shield called the [Light Infantry Shield].

The light infantry shield was, as previously mentioned, a round wooden shield, but that doesn't do it justice, it was very lightly coloured wood and the wood looked very untreated, some splinters could be seen sticking out from it and it looked like it was in an absolute state, I could see the beginnings of moss on some parts of it and others looked like it was about to fall off, to add to that it didn't have metal reinforcements around the edge as well, so how effective it would be in real life came down entirely to the angle of attack and the force of the attack, however though in this game instead, it just gave me some very, very shitty stats, it's almost not even worth it … almost but I tend to feel more comfortable if I have another layer of stuff to keep between me and whatever wants to use me as a way to test out their awesome new sword and whatnot.

The spear and armour also needed some description, the spear was very basic, a long spear that I can hold in one hand, it was made out of the same quality wood that my shield was made out of, it was all shitty and didn't even have any proper grips, the only defining feature was the dull iron spearhead on it, it looked … alright I guess, it was clear that it was sharp but it also looked rather dull as well, like the edge of the weapon was just there, it was clearly not a good spear even from looking at it, the joys of starting gear am I right lads? Seriously though, the faster I get a halberd, the better. The stats are similar to the shield in that they aren't really worth much, the main advantage was the fact that a spear had long reach and that it was really good for turtle stabbing.

The final thing was the starting armour, now this is a fucking dozy, to put it gently it looked like shit, if it didn't weigh down as much as it did, I honestly would have thought it was a mishmash of leather creating an alright, piece of armour that allowed for fast movement, if only I was so lucky, instead what it actually was is something similar to a coat of plates, only less stylish and less good. It was a mishmash of random metal strips of varying qualities and metals all banded together into something that could be generously called armour, it reminded me of the budget greaves from Dragon's Dogma to be honest and only in terms of quality, you got in stats what you gave in money I.E. bugger all. The stats were once again shit, but going without armour in any game let alone a game where the price for dying isn't losing money and EXP but actual bloody deathin this game it was even less advisable. So yeah, I looked like some sort of aging gajin bandit, ain't it grand, though I did still have my based moustache and soul patch. So yeah silver lining, though this one is just all cloud to be honest.

I began the trek outside the [Town of Beginnings] which was what most players were starting to do, that or finding the nearest inn to cry in, however as I left, my intention was not to level grind on [Frenzy Boars] but instead to go to another town and find some easy quests for the express purpose of gaining experience and items quickly. Which brings me to where I am right now, in the middle of the map, because the game does not have a world map or at least one with any degree of accuracy or relevance as one would start the game, while some were available online, that wasn't a viable option at this point, the in game map only shows the general outline of the area and what else you could see, it didn't even have a sodding compass that pointed magnetic north and I never thought I would miss that, I was just trekking north, which was where the nearest hill was, which I would then use to find where the nearest town was because of perspective. I spotted a pack of wolves and quickly unslung my shield and spear, or at least as quickly as I could, which turned out to be not quick enough as one got a quick lunge on my shield hand, while I was busy shaking the bugger off me, the other four wolves decided to imitate the forest hunters from dark souls and gank me, but since I was wielding a spear and had just knocked the first wolf off my sodding hand, I unslung my shield and took up a combat stance, waiting ready to show them the power of the turtle stab, the most blessed of techniques from dark souls, when in doubt turtle it out, and I did so, the one which bite me lunged first, after sending a silent prayer to the RNG goddess, I bashed my shield at him and bayonetted the bugger with my lance, it's HP was reduced to zero and it shattered like glass, good they have low HP or low defence, another lunged at me while the two remaining wolves fanned out to surround me, I whipped my spear around and sent the wolf flying before stabbing it and killing it, the two remaining wolves ran and charged at me as soon as my spear entered their comrade's body. I quickly removed the spear and dodged out of the way, trying to keep them away from my flank, I was wary, because the second I went for one, the other would go for me, so I would have to be careful wait a minute, wasn't there these sword skills, how did they work again I think I have to hold a pose for a second and then release it, I stood with my spear at the ready, with the sharp end held just in front of my shield suddenly it started to glow a dull red, that must be one of those sword skills I keep hearing about, I activated it and I suddenly rushed forward with more speed then I knew I actually had, I knocked one wolf aside with my shield and then stabbed through the other wolf, leaving my quarrel at one weak monster. Said wolf then pounced on me and I was saved only by the passive ability of my [Sentinel] class, which gave me +75% defence aside from also +50% to my [Observation] skill, the wolf's attack took me down to about 75% health. I knocked the bugger off me with relative ease and brought my spear to on my quarrel and introduced it to the pointy end of my spear. Ending the fight, earning me another lance level, 100 EXP and about 100 Col. Slinging my spear and shield around my back I went off to the hill to find where the nearest town was that was not the bloody Town of Beginnings, approximately five minutes later I arrived at a hill, seriously someone needs to fix how to game shows distance it looked like it was about a minutes' walk away when I started, or am I just incredibly slow and bad at judging distance. For some reason I just got a quick flashback to me in school and how it took me four years to realize that I needed glasses, combined with the fact that I ran at the same speed that I did a power walk in however though I was just bent over a little bit.

Either way I had finally arrived at the top of the hill and I looked around, trying to find the nearest village that was not the thrice dammed [Town of Beginnings] I spotted a small village to the east and I also used this opportunity to start mapping the area out really quickly and I did look at my world map, trying to figure out if I could save this mapping data and use it to make some more Col (the Business Studies Student coming out in full force now), when I was done mapping it out, And not figuring out how to save the mapping data, I moved east (I think) towards the village, I was on a direct route, so as well as it being likely for me to be able to get to the village quickly, it was also quite likely for me to run into monsters considering how MMORPGs work, no scratch that, just how video games worked in general.

Yes I know, an odd place to end the chapter, but who cares as I'm the writer. Please R&R, also I would prefer that if you have death threats (yes, I'm still keeping up that joke), you direct them to a PM. I do not own Harold Penisman as well, although I wish that I did.

Also for the form for OCs, I'll use my OC as an unnecessary example, you can take him if you want.

Username: Ostrava

Real Name: Will Edwards

Class: Sentinel

Gender: Male

Age: 22

Nationality: British

Playstyle: While wielding a lance and later a halberd would qualify him for a defence strategy, Will would agree, but then get into the fray anyway, he opts to be something of a secondary tank, his strategy isn't going full on Leroy Jenkins into combat, but he would happily follow behind him in order to provide some support. He doesn't like using sword skills as he has a hate of the cooldown period but will use them to escape from a sticky situation of if they seem necessary to gain an advantage in combat. He prefers a solid plan of attack with careful preparation and possibly several backup plans before combat.

Appearance: A somewhat short and pale man, his hair style is very messy short dark brown (bordering on black) hair that even he admits he should get cut but rarely ever gets around it, the fact his hair is naturally curly doesn't help matters, making his hair look very messy even after he combs it, he also has a moustache and soul patch that are the same colour as his hair, though he doesn't like to admit it, his hair is going grey already, likely due to stress. His eyes are a light brown and shine with intelligence and indifference, though they are framed behind thick black glasses, which he wasn't wearing when he logged into SAO. He is a rather slim man who has the profile of a man whose only exercise is lifting his bag and walking around. In terms of facial features there isn't much that stands out, the only real identifying feature would be his glasses and his European features.

Personality: His accent is described as "Tommy Wiseau Lite" (He was the one who described it as such) it basically shifts between Northern Irish, English and American every other word, provided he doesn't start stuttering. He is man who surveys quite a lot of things with indifference until something happens that makes him change his opinion of the person. He is a rather nice person though but a right coward, he would treat you rather nice however his speech pattern makes him come off as condescending, he says "I wouldn't apologise to an enemy, to an acquaintance or a friend, I would apologise to them, to a best friend, they would know that I don't mean it." He is man who has accepted that he is unlikely to get a girlfriend and prefers to play video games and work instead. A scholarly man who values friends, even though he has problems with socialising due to his aforementioned stutter. He generally believes that everyone deserves better when it comes to life, in times of crisis or sorrow, he has learned to make jokes, though his are about 2/3 of the time not funny.