Hey guys!

Hope you're all doing okay. I want to thank all of you for still reading this and for your reviews, they totally make my day. We only have three more chapters on this story and I'm feeling very nostalgic about it, I really hope you like the way the story is going. As always I want to thank Lorena because she is the best beta I could ask for.

Here we go.

"Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back – and at some point everyone looks back – she will hear her heart saying, "What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is your heritage; the certainty that you wasted your life."

-Paulo Coelho –

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Elena opened her eyes and stared at the cream colored ceiling, it had been three days since she walked out of the Salvatore house and the ache in her chest was still as strong as it was the moment she found out the truth. Briar and Violet had called her yesterday and it had broken her heart to hear them asking her what was wrong, she had lied to them and told them she was sick and that she couldn't go back until she was better, Elena knew that she would have to face the situation soon because she wasn't the only one suffering with this whole thing but she honestly didn't know how.

After that first day when he called her incessantly Damon had been quiet and hadn't even called her once, Stefan had, she still refused to answer him, but she read his messages all the same, he said Damon was going through some things and he wanted to give her time, she honestly didn't care. She just wanted him out of her life.

Elena rubbed her eyes and gathered enough strength to get up from bed, she dragged her tired body to the shower and went through the motions of a normal morning. Caroline was at work and the quietness of the house made her feel chills, she prepared a plate of yogurt and granola since she didn't think she could stomach something else and sat on the kitchen table eating in silence.

The sound of the doorbell startled her as it echoed throughout the whole apartment, she placed her plate in the sink before heading towards the door and when she opened it all of the air got stuck in her throat.

"Just hear me out" He whispered as she made a move to close the door on his face. Damon stood in the threshold looking just as bad as she was feeling. He had red rimmed eyes and it looked as if he had run his hands through his hair all morning, his clothes were wrinkled, and in all honesty, he didn't look at all like the man she knew, he looked defeated.

"I don't think that's a good idea" All the anger had vanished from her body when she looked at the state he was in, all that was left now was a very deep sense of disappointment.

"Please, Elena, just hear what I have to say and if you still want me to be away from you afterwards…I'll just go and disappear from your life, all right?" Elena thought about it briefly and decided to open the door so he could walk inside, his words left a sense of dread inside her. Since she had found out about his secret she had wanted nothing more than to be away from him and never see him again but now that he was here the idea of being away from him for the rest of her life was just too terrifying.

They both sat down on opposites sides of the couch in the living room, Damon wanted nothing more than to reach out to her and touch her but he knew she would never let him, being apart from her these past few days had been literally killing him and he had no idea how he would deal if she refused to forgive him.

"I met Katherine when I was still attending university, she captivated me since the first moment, there was some kind of fire inside her that made everyone want to be around her" His eyes were lost in his memories, in a place far far away from her living room and she couldn't help the pang of jealousy that hit her at the moment. "I became obsessed with her, looking back now I don't know if it was truly love or just that she blinded me with her personality, I had never met a woman like her"

Elena was closing and opening the hand that was resting on top of her jean- clad leg and Damon almost moved his own hand so he could keep her's still. He knew she was nervous, he knew what this talk meant to her and wanted nothing more than to comfort her.

"She got pregnant in her sophomore year and her father demanded for me to marry her, I had been out of school the year before and now was working for my father in the hotel's business, I was still young and marriage was not in my plans but I loved her and she was having a baby so I agreed to it" Damon laughed sardonically while shaking his head "She dropped out of school to have the baby, she used to leave the baby with the nannies all the time, but the staff was always too scared to tell me how badly she was neglecting Briar. They thought I would take her side and I don't blame them, the woman had me bewitched, Stefan tried to make me see reason but I refused"

"Yeah I've heard that part of the story" Elena said in a soft voice, not wanting to meet his eyes. He probably had no idea but with every word he sliced her heart a bit more, she was never going to be that woman to Damon.

"Not completely" He answered "Katherine asked me for money to help her father out, his company was having some troubles and he had made a loan to some pretty nasty people. I told her I couldn't give her the amount she was asking for… a few weeks later she told me she was pregnant again"

Elena stared silently at him, his eyes looking at a far point in the door and she couldn't help but feel sorry for him, it seemed that Katherine had manipulated him the entire time and he didn't realize it.

"I loved Briar so I was happy to have another child but after a few weeks she started feeling bad, she said it was the stress because of her father and that if something happened to our child it would be my fault" He looked down and Elena gasped softly, knowing how much those words would have hurt him.

"I gave her the money and that was the moment the spell broke, I realized she wasn't the woman I thought and that everyone else was right about her. When Violet was born I asked her for a divorce but she refused, she told me I wouldn't get rid of her so easily and that she would take the girls if I tried something else"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry" Elena said softly, the urge of reaching out and touching his hand too strong, but she somehow managed to resist.

"I dropped the subject and we stayed together even though we were no longer a couple, that was until I found out she had been cheating on me ever since we were in college" Elena's eyes widened at this, Stefan had mentioned something similar before but she couldn't have guessed that an affair had been going on for so long. A part of her wanted to believe that Damon was making this story up to look good in front of her but the most rational side of her knew that he was a good man and despite all of his flaws he would never tarnish the memory of a woman by making things up.

"I got proof of their affair and told her I would take her to court if she tried to fight me on the divorce… she, she told me that she had never loved me and that it had been Mason all along, that was the guy's name" Damon closed his eyes and this time she couldn't help herself and reached out to hold his hand. His eyes opened and stared at her with such adoration that it made her heart break all over again "She told me… that Briar was his, that she wasn't my daughter" Damon's eyes watered "And it's the truth, Elena, I've made the test; I am not Briar's father"

"Oh my God Damon" Elena gasped and took a hand towards her mouth "How could she do something like that"

"She wanted to marry me because of the money, so when he knocked her up she saw her opportunity and you know what's the worst? That he doesn't even care, he knew that his child was being raised by another man and he didn't care" The anger and the hurt in his face was evident, he had been carrying this pain for so long that it had become a part of his daily existence.

"I offered a pretty damn good divorce agreement and she accepted, in order to have all the money I was offering her she agreed to leave Briar with me, she didn't even say goodbye to the girls… the day she left, Briar asked for her and she didn't care, she left anyway"

"Then what happened?" Elena was in fact truly surprised, when she had heard that Damon's wife was alive this wasn't what she had been expecting.

"She and Mason had an accident on the night they were leaving, she ended up with brain damage and he with a cast" Damon laughed slightly but there was no humor in his laugh "He didn't care about her afterwards nor her family, I was the only thing she had left. My father moved heaven and earth to keep everything in silence, even the divorce, to the rest of the world Katherine had died in a car crash while still being my wife and that was it"

"I don't know what to say" Elena said while looking down. How could a woman do something like that? How could she care so little about her family? Elena was angry on behalf of Damon but she couldn't help but feel a little guilty over her thoughts, she shouldn't be having the kind of thoughts she was having about a now harmless woman with brain damage.

"Say you understand" He took hold of her hand and stared straight into her eyes "I never intended to hurt you this way, Elena; I thought that I could keep that part of my life separated, I was obviously an idiot"

"You were" She stated "And I get it, to some extent I get it, Damon, I get why you wanted to keep all of this a secret" She let out a breath and gripped his hands tightly "But I still can't- I can't forget it all and pretend it never happened. I can't go back there"

"Elena please, I'll do whatever you want me to"

"Damon it's not about that"

"I just can't accept the fact that I'm losing you" His blue eyes were filled with tears as he looked at her "You brought me back to life"

"And maybe that was all I was meant to do" She whispered and he felt the air being sucked out of his chest "Maybe I was just meant to be a passing thing in your life"

"Don't- Don't say things like that Elena"

"Damon- I" A sob broke out of her throat "I don't know what to say, I can't. You hurt me and I just can't"

"I'm not giving up on you, Elena" She needed time, he was sure of it but he would never let he go. She was his and he was hers. "I'll never give up on you"

"Damon… maybe all of this was a mistake."

"What?"

"You and me… now the girls are going to get hurt and I-"Whatever was going to come out of her mouth was silenced by the feel of his lips on hers. They were soft and demanding at the same time and she could feel the wetness of both their tears mixing

He broke away and rested his face against hers"Loving you was never a mistake Elena, I'm going to fight for you, until the very end" He whispered against her lips before standing up and heading towards the door.

She remained in the couch without even moving, silent tears streaming down her face.

"You are such a little coward" Caroline spat as Elena put in her suitcase another piece of clothing the blonde girl had pulled out a few minutes ago in her tantrum.

"I need to do this Caroline" Elena said with a tired voice, it had been a long day and she really wanted for it to end already.

"No, you don't. Look Elena, I know that what Damon did was wrong but he was trying to protect everyone and well Katherine was-"

"Yes, Katherine was a little selfish bitch but you know what? He loved her" Elena threw her hands in the air and sat down on the bed next to her half made suitcase "He loved her so much Caroline"

"Oh honey" The blonde girl sat down next to her and embraced her

"I want that someday; I want someone to love me that way"

"Elena, Damon already-"

"No, he would never love me like he loved her" Elena started sobbing quietly as Caroline rocked her back and forth softly "He already had that epic love, he won't have another"

"Every love is different Lena" Caroline whispered "And besides, we already stated the fact that Katherine was-"

"She was" Elena agreed once again "And maybe she didn't love him but he loved her, he loved her enough to care for her even after everything she did"

"I don't think he could have just left her without anyone, that's not the kind of man he is" Caroline said, trying to reason with her friend

"I know, but don't I deserve that someday?"

"You're making a huge mistake, Elena"

"It's not forever, Caroline, I just need a few days" Elena said while sniffing "it's just when I heard my mom's voice… I realized how much I needed to see them"

Caroline let out a breath and nodded "yeah, maybe it'll be good for you"

Elena gave her friend a watery smile and resumed her task, this time with her friend's help. She needed time to think and nothing would help her more at the moment than being surrounded by her family.

She needed to go home.

Damon parked the car and remained inside for a few seconds trying to collect himself. The last few days had been a rollercoaster of emotions, between Elena finding out the truth and Katherine dying… Katherine.

He had put her to rest a couple of days ago with only Stefan as witness, at some point in life his brother had cared about the woman too and even though they both ended up hating her in the end he couldn't deny that she gave him the most important thing in his life and he would always be grateful to her for it.

He had debated for hours whether to say the truth to the girls, after all it was lies that took him to this dark place he was right now. But after talking and talking with Stefan and meditating it in the loneliness of his room he decided against it. There was no use in it. Katherine was now dead and he would rather the girls remember her as the good woman he painted them than the evil bitch she actually was.

Damon took a deep breath and exited the car. He told Elena he would not give up on her and he hadn't been joking, he needed her like he needed air. He loved her in a way that he never would have loved Katherine.

Elena had put him out from under water in a moment where he thought he would drown for sure and now he didn't know how to keep afloat without her. She had casted the shadows away from his life and filled his days with endless colors. He couldn't even put it into words how much he loved her and how no one else would be able to fill the void she left.

He had been sleeping in the girls' room the last few days just because he needed the comfort she could give them. They were the only ones who missed Elena as much as he did and even though they still thought it was because she was sick, they felt her absence as much as he did.

He needed her to understand that. He needed for her to understand that she already was his family, and that he would do anything for his family.

Damon knocked softly on the door, his body filled with anticipation, he wanted to see her, be near her, breathe in her scent but his heart fell to the floor when it was Caroline who opened the door and he saw the way she was looking at him.

"I'm here to see Elena" He said with a half-smile, trying to make himself believe that the distress on Caroline's face had nothing to do with Elena.

"Damon, she…" Caroline grimaced "She left"

"Left?" His blood ran cold at the words whispered

"Oh screw this" Caroline took a deep breath "You are an ass and you made an awful mistake but I also know my friend and I know she's making an even bigger one. She's closing off on you because she thinks you would never love her like you loved Katherine"

"What? How can she believe-"

Caroline didn't even let him finish, she went inside the house and Damon stayed in the threshold not knowing if he should go inside or leave. His mind was still stuck on those words left.

"Here" The blonde girl handed him a piece of paper with words scribbled on it and what appeared to be a handmade map "You can get to the lake house of her parents with that. She went there with her family and if you truly love her you will get her back"

"Of course I love her, I love her more than anything" Damon folded the paper and put it in his pocket before leaning down and pressing a noisy kiss on the blonde girl's cheek. "Thank you so much Caroline" He told her before hurrying out of the building.

Elena had no idea, she had no idea how much he loved her.

He wasn't ever letting go of her, she still had no idea who Damon Salvatore really was.

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